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Chatterbox: Pudding's Place
Dear Members of
Dear Members of the Chatterbox,
I think we should start a ski lodge murder mystery game. The rules are listed below:
-First of all, it is not supposed to be gory or scary. It is supposed to appropriate and humorous.
-You play as yourself. The premise is: You are invited to a ski lodge for however many days. You go and have fun but then people start dying mysteriously. You need to figure out who the culprit is.
-The murderer is one of you who join the game but you won't know who it is. I will.
-One person dies a day.
-Strange things happen in the ski lodge. Logic doesn't nessecarily apply here, as you will soon see.
-Every day, I will post (probably in the morning) the day's events. Read, enjoy, speculate, and if you like, write the day from your point of view or something you think happened. The sillier the better.
-You die randomly. I pull your name out of a Sugarbowl. By the way, Gollum, remember last year when I lost your name in my lunchbox? I found it two days ago on my art easel in the garage. I have absolutely no idea how it got there.
-The game shall start on July 7. I know it's Camp NaNo, but it shouldn't take you guys too long to check every day and a short conversation or something if you feel like it.
-I don't know when it will end, that depends on how many people want to play.
-This is the same kind of thing that happened last year in October. Hopefully, I don't have nightmares for three months straight this time.
-Please, please join. Just say "I want to join" to join.
And that's all. If you have any questions, please don't be afraid to ask.
Sincerely,
The Omnipotent Narrator
submitted by T.O.N.
(June 18, 2013 - 12:49 pm)
(June 18, 2013 - 12:49 pm)
@Teresa
Sounds fun!:)
(July 9, 2013 - 3:22 pm)
Day 2
The morning starts off with a delicious beakfast (pancakes) and then a friendly game of hide-and-go-seek.
Melody: Hey, BHR, I know a really good hiding place behind the fireplace.
BHR: Thanks, but why are you telling me?
Melody: I have some bad memories with that place.
Blue Fairy: Yes, I've learned that you can't trust someone with a lightsaber.
Red: I said I was sorry!
Blue Fairy: Sorry doesn't cut it.
BHR: Don't mind me. I'll just stand here and pretend I know what's going on.
Miki: Ah, the memories!
Red: I said I was sorry!
The kids skii all morning and part of the afternoon before they come in to toast marshmallows over a fire. In the fireplace.
Theo W.: What's that supposed to mean? Where else would we toast marshamallows?
Ima: Who are you talking to, Theo?
Daffodil: Hey, how do you guys like your marshmallows?
Disclamer: The following marshmallow prefrences do not neccesarily represent the views or opinions of the people mentioned.
Teresa: I like toasting them until they're black.
The doctor: I like setting them on fire so they get really gooey on the inside.
Gollum: I'm sure that marshmallows make a perfectly nutritous snack and all, but I'm still hungry.
Red: Today's snack will be brioche.
Miki: What?
Red: As an apology for killing some of you, I have made brioche for a snack.
Theo W.: WHAAATTTTT?????
Melody: Just don't ask, Theo.
Theo: DON'T ASK??? DON'T ASK???
Blue Fairy: Nope. Still doesn't cut it.
Red: Darn it! But it is good brioche!
Ima: Yeah, it actually tastes good.
Gollum: If you look at a brioche sideways with one eye squinted, it resembles a cupcake.
Red: Well- well- haha- that's funny- Say, I need to got the bathroom!
Teresa: I have never seen anyone run so fast in my life.
Daffodil: Do you think they're poisoned, Gollum?
Gollum: No, they just taste good, and with Red gone, there's more for me!
(July 8, 2013 - 12:07 pm)
I cracked up on the brioche part. I really am the Servant of Evil! I just looked up a picture of it, and it does look like a cupcake. I'm really weirded out now.
(July 8, 2013 - 2:38 pm)
Brioche also looks like a clown head.
Spamster in his spamster cage says dayf. Day four?
(July 8, 2013 - 7:25 pm)
In response to the food allergy question... I'm actually severely allergic to dairy and eggs, but since I apparently just willingly ate brioche--which is my fault for not checking the ChatterBox frequently enough to have seen your question earlier--it might be best to just ignore that, because I'm really careful and don't eat anything unless I'm positive it doesn't contain anything I can't have. Then again, I guess since Red made the brioche himself, you can make Red have lied to me about the ingredients and exploit it that way. It's up to you, Omnipotent Narrator.
I'm also vegetarian (well, vegan, really; as I mentioned above, I can't eat eggs or dairy), but we probably should ignore that because otherwise, we'd have to change the marshmallow thing.
(July 8, 2013 - 2:26 pm)
Oops. Well, I'll keep track of that in the future. Perhaps they were vegan marshmallows?
Aren't marshmallows just 100% sugar? Can't vegans eat sugar?
Admin
(July 8, 2013 - 4:27 pm)
Marshmallows have gelatin in them which is made from animal parts such as bone.
Oh, thanks for the info.
Admin
(July 8, 2013 - 4:46 pm)
I can't believe I missed this again. I guess that's what I get for not checking in enough.
(July 8, 2013 - 2:32 pm)
If you really want to, you can jump in. Technically, you get on a bus and come to the ski lodge. You won't be the murderer (I already know who that will be) but you can still join in.
(July 8, 2013 - 4:29 pm)
When are people going to start dying? Also, the brioche tastes kind of sour.
(July 8, 2013 - 3:25 pm)
Patience, patience. Day Four.
(July 8, 2013 - 4:47 pm)
Graaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! The whole day just got deleted and I was almost done with it!
So, it should come in an hour or two. Because these take forever to write.
My captcha just told me the four first letters of my real name. I'm creeped out.
(July 9, 2013 - 12:03 pm)
Day 3
This morning, the five members of the ski lodge staff decided to take a day off. They promised to be back by nightfall and "please don't get into any kind of trouble. Removing bloodstains from carpet is very expensive."
Theo: BLOODSTAINS??
The kids head out as well for more skiing (as I have never gone skiing in my life, I can't really see the appeal and I'm sure I would have been bored of it by now. However, apparently, you guys really like skiing.) and come back for lunch later. There are two messages on the ski lodge's phone's answering machine.
"Hi, this is your head chef. My sister has run into a bit of trouble and I have to help her out. Don't worry, my assistant chef will be coming back, so you won't have to worry about meals. He's a very good cook, despite his other shortcomings. Have fun!"
"This is the proprietress. I'm afraid I've had a small accident concerning an oat farl, a rather violent dragon, and two very annoying ninjas. I have to take care of a few things, and I have no idea when I'll be done. Fortunatly, the rest of the staff will take care of you! Have fun, watch out for wild hamsters, and always remember: It does the boots and shoes."
A group effort produces a large bowl of spaghetti (cheese on the side) and an enormous mess. An enormous rock-paper-scissors match decides who will clean up said mess. Blonde Heroines Rule, Theo, and the doctor were the unlucky winners of that fun task. Meanwhile...
Melody: I'm starting a daily feature! "Melody's Disney Songs a Day!" Every day yours truly will sing a song from one of the lovely Disney movies I know of! Who has a request?
Gollum: No offence, Melody, but is it a coincidence that you died the day after you suggested that last year?
Melody: Someone was obviously jealous of my immense singing talnet!
Red: Yeahhhh... I'm sure that's what it was.
Ima: Can you do "Mother Knows Best"? It's been stuck in my head.
Melody: Of course!
Melody then gives a stirring preformance of "Mother Knows Best", using Teresa as Rapunzel.
Teresa: WHY MEEEEEE????
Blue Fairy: I swear, that was one of the scariest things I have ever seen in my entire life. (I highly recommend watching Mother Knows Best and imagining Melody performing it.)
BHR (comes in): Is everyone okay in here?
Melody: I think I broke a vocal chord, but besides that, we're fine.
BHR: I could have sworn I heard Teresa screaming...
Miki: Our lives will never be the same again.
Red: Can I help with the cleanup?
Theo (comes in with the doctor): No, we just finished.
Just then a high pitched scream comes from outside the room! "SOMEONE, GET A DOCTOR!"
The doctor and comarades rush to the scen of the crime and discover a screaming Daffodil and a stabbed girl lying in the hallway.
The doctor: I'm not that kind of doctor, I can't do anything about this!
Gollum: Ah, it looks like Jem Louise Margaret's back.
Blue Fairy: Geez, you had me really worried for a minute!
Theo: WHY ARE YOU SO CALM? I THINK SHE'S DEAD! CALL 9-1-1!
Red: Now, calm down, everyone. We'll hide the body and no one will ever need to know. Think: what do you do with your stuff when your room's messy and you parents will be home in five minutes?
Ima: We can't put her under the bed!
Red: No! Sheesh! Stick her in the closet, of course!
Teresa: Okay, I'm confused. Why are some of us completely freaking out while others of us are calm?
Melody: You'll find out in a day or two.
Just then, the phone rings. Several people run to answer it but arrive too late. The message on the answering machine is:
"Hi, guys. Sorry, I've run into a bit of trouble. (Background voice: "My name's not Trouble!") "Hush! Sorry about that. I have to help someone out with... something. Anyway, don't worry! There's two maids, right? And the other is so thourough that you'll be fine without me! He's too thourough! It annoys me sometimes, you know? Anyway. I'll be back! Eventually! Bye!"
Gollum: Who wants to bet that we end up with no staff at all?
The rest of the afternoon is devoted to uneventful skiing. When they get back, there are three more messages on the answering machine!
"Hi! Are your carpets dirty?-" The sales call was deleted.
"Due to unforseen circumstances, I, one of the so-called 'maids' for the ski lodge you are currently residing at, am unable to come back today. I apologise profusely for this unplanned event. Hopefully, there will be other staff members there to take care of your needs, but knowing this group of staff well, it seems likely that they will not be back at the appointed time. They are not punctual at all. Good luck. Also, if you happen by chance to see the other 'maid', kindly remind her to keep out of the small box in the third closet in the west wing. Thank you."
"Hello, this is the assitant chef. I regret to say that I cannot return which displease me immensly and I shall be punished for it later. The head chef should still be there and he can cook well, despite his other faults."
Gollum: I called it.
Daffodil: Is it just me, or all the staff members pretty odd?
Red: I guess we better elect jobs.
The job listing is as follows: Melody- Dish Washing, Blue Fairy- Vacuuming, Daffodil- Official Doorman (Blue Fairy says: The job of the Official Doorman is interesting.), the doctor-Breakfast, Ima- Lunch, Red- Dinner, Theo- Bathroom Cleaning (sorry!) Teresa- Dusting, Miki- Laundry, BHR and Gollum- Replacements if necessary
Theo: I don't like the sound of "replacements if necessary".
Who was the mysterious girl? What's up with the interesting Official Doorman? Does Teresa have permanent scarring from "Mother Knows Best"? (I know I would! That song is freaky! *rubs palm*) Will BHR or Gollum have to replace anyone? And what's the point of a replacement, anyway? Find out next episode, premeiring July 10!
(July 9, 2013 - 2:06 pm)
@T.O.N.
You've never been skiing!?!?!? It is so much fun and I could do all day! It does not get boring.
First you go up the chair lift and get to look at the scenery from high above the ground. When you get to the top, you look down the gigantic mountain and you feel nervous, like What did I get myself into? Then as you push yourself down the mountain a rush of wind blows against your face as you gain speed. A thrill of excitement passes through you, you're are actually doing it! Your skiis slid smoothly over the fresh snow and then you start to slow down. The adventure was so much fun, that you just have to do it again.
I know people who live in my area who go skiing almost every day in the winter. I can't do that though, my family doesn't live close enough to the mountain and we only go once or twice a year.
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Oh, Mother Knows Best is one of the creepest Disney songs I know.
(July 9, 2013 - 4:11 pm)
I'm actually not that bad at singing! Except my head voice is annoying and my belt range isn't too high, so I normally just stick to singing songs orignally by male artists. I do a mean "If I Can't Love Her" from Beauty and the Beast.:)
Oh, but if I want to be annoying and sing bad, I will. Which I probably would with you guys.xD I'm not bad at Mother Knows Best, so you guys would probably still have ears intact at the end of the song.
I recommend Veggie Veggie Fruit Fruit for the next song, oh great and powerful narrator. It's one of my personal favorite and it comes with the added bonus of almost nobody knowing what it is or where it's from!
(July 9, 2013 - 4:46 pm)