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FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I
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FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I
FICTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!! I read some of our posts of this in this months magazine and thought, "Hey, that was fun, what happened to that thread?" So I'm making a new one. If you don't know how it works I'll explain. Someone posts a fake problem like, Help I have to defeat a cyclops and all I have is a large tureen of mushroom soup! And the next person posts a resoloution like, Toss the soup into his one eye to blind him, Then the person can post their own problem and other people will answer it.
Here's the first one, There is a large robot guarding the doorway to the room where someone will blow up the world, all I have to defeat the robot is a large bag of cotton candy and a small bag of marshmallows. What do I do?
submitted by Forrest
(March 6, 2015 - 7:50 am)
(March 6, 2015 - 7:50 am)
Volcano: OOH! Idea!
I summon rocks and then break our fall! Then everyone grabs on as I use my pyrokinesis as propulsion engines, HEROICALLY rescuing us all! Then everyone eats the coconut, and Shifting, in eternal gratitude to me, swears to be my loyal servant for ETERNITY! And I get to boss her around and eventually be QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE!
Shifting: You'd make a terrible queen of the universe.
Volcano: Silence, lowly servant!
Shifting: With great power comes great responsibility. With crazy hyper girls who control fire and rock come unrealistically big heads with very little brain.
Volcano: RESPONSIBILITY?? Bleh! I hate responsibility!
Somebody: *arrives on the scene and drags alter egos off thread* Now, new problem: we miraculously escaped from our predicament but now we're stranded on an island and Percy and Jason have been clocked on the head by falling coconuts and are both out cold. All I have are seven demigods, a single cherry Pixi Stix, two coconuts, Chell missing her portal gun, GLaDOS, and an unloaded turret. The last two won't go near the water. WHAT NOOOOOOW???
(May 24, 2015 - 2:11 am)
Don't know nothin' 'bout Percy Jackson, but sugar...floats? Doesn't it? (I know it doesn't but... this is fantasy!). So, float on yo pixie stick.
Yeah, you can reject my answer. I won't give a new problem just yet.
There's probably some air in the pixie stick, and air is lighter than water.
Admin
(May 30, 2015 - 6:49 am)
I'll go with that! :D
Admin: More accurately, air is less dense than water.
(May 31, 2015 - 5:18 pm)
OK!
New problem:
After the escape on a pixie stik, we land on a shore. Ahh, we are home. But no. You look around. You are on the Island of Conclusions. How do you get home? If you haven't read the Phantom Tollbooth, you will have no idea how to solve this. I hope you have.
(June 4, 2015 - 6:20 am)
I think you swim, right? It's been a while since I read that book.
NEW PROBLEM!!!!!!!
I am locked in a small box being shipped to Liechtenstein. I have with me A tube of toothpaste, a penguin, a box of take-out Chinese noodles, and a lemon. HELP!!!!
Also, I'm in an airplane under heavy guard.
(June 26, 2015 - 1:18 pm)
I have a very difficult time imagining all those things and you packed into a small box. Maybe we just need to apply a little logic to the situation (something I rarely do) and the box will soon be bursting at the seams and easy to break open. Sort of. Then all you have to do is throw noodles at whoever happens to get in your way.
(July 5, 2015 - 2:15 pm)
New problemo!
HELP ME! Cloudy Dweller was trying to teach me how to fly, or "float," and I am falling from a tree! All I have with me are the clothes I am wearing (duh) My earings, a heavy "how to fly" handbook, a pic of Legolas with a pink mustache, and Cloudy's cloud cloak. I am going to hit the ground and get hurt in 10-9-8-7... and Cloudy is in Legolas land, and I doubt she would hear me call for help.
(August 12, 2015 - 3:03 pm)
TOP!
(August 13, 2015 - 5:11 pm)
Look in the back of the book under "Accidents." It will have an incantation to bring Legolas with a Pink Moustache to life, plus he will love you. Summon Legolas with a Pink Moustache, get him to save you, and then, I don't know, date him and flaunt it in the face of all the other fangirls?
Meanwhile, I'm stuck in an everything-except-for-salami-proof box and all I have is three pages of (gory and unsettling) horror stories, a bowl of pasta, electro, sono, and telekinesis, and no salami anywhere in reach. There is a guard outside who has salami, but I can't get to it. WHADDOIDONOW?!
(August 17, 2015 - 9:29 pm)
Read the horror stories, which will freak you out so much you will use your electrokinesis to shock the box. The guard will turn around when the box buzzes, so use your telekinesis to take his salami. Using your sonokinesis, use sonar to find the lock, then use telekinesis to pick it with the salami. Give the guard the pasta and the horror stories to distract him as you run!
Oh my gosh I need help! I've been trapped under a bed where there are two books, a sock, and a rolled-up poster. I have to get out of here before someone comes in and turns off the lights! There's a dog sleeping on the bed. Oh noes!
(August 18, 2015 - 11:07 pm)
Ummm... I would need to know more about your situation. Just crawl out from under the bed.
HELP! So I'm in a warehouse full of evil zebras that are trying to trample me, and I'm trying to save a tray of ducklings. My supplies: Salami, a box of those disgusting vanilla wafers, and a crate of lemons. (What is it with me and lemons?)
Taxicab says nigh. No, Taxi, I'm trying not to be negative.
(August 28, 2015 - 3:24 pm)
Three suggestions:crush the food with your feet and give it to them or throw the wafers at the zebras and use the salami to cover there mouths and to stick there feet to the floor. You could also ask them to dinner (there's got to be a table) and serve the weapons. But don't show up. Instead, just stand outside the building and give your best impression of a hungry lion.
HELP! I'm stuck in cave full of venomous spiders and cacti and snakes. All I have is a box of tissues, a hammock and a pair of ballet slippers. How do I get out? (Also, the entry is closed).
(September 3, 2015 - 11:55 am)
Three suggestions:crush the food with your feet and give it to them or throw the wafers at the zebras and use the salami to cover there mouths and to stick there feet to the floor. You could also ask them to dinner (there's got to be a table) and serve the weapons. But don't show up. Instead, just stand outside the building and give your best impression of a hungry lion.
HELP! I'm stuck in cave full of venomous spiders and cacti and snakes. All I have is a box of tissues, a hammock and a pair of ballet slippers. How do I get out? (Also, the entry is closed).
(September 3, 2015 - 12:04 pm)
Put on the ballet slippers and step on the spiders with them. You won't be poisoned because the venom will touch the shoes, not you. Then blow your nose very, very loudly to scare the snakes and keep them away from you. Keep blowing your nose until the snakes get so scared that they start banging their heads against the cave wall, weakening the rock. When they're all dead, break a cactus and start swinging it at the cave wall. Now there is a hole and you can get out.
Help, I'm stuck in another dimension and an army of printers with faces and sticky starburst shooters are chasing me all I have is Turgon (my AE), a bag of shredded mozzarella cheese, and a dead snake. What do I do?!!!!!!!
(September 6, 2015 - 8:42 am)
Use the cheese to soak up the venom from the snake and then use it to gum up the printers so they expolde. Then use the pieces of the printers to build a machine to get you and Turgon home.
What is an AE?
Ok I've been zapped into a Starwars movie but I'm stuck on Mustafar (the crazy volcano planet in 3). I only have a Lego block and a cell phone, but my clothes are burning off!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!
AE stands for Alter Ego (Latin for another I), an alternate personality character from whom some people like to submit comments.
Admin
(September 8, 2015 - 5:46 pm)