HEY HI EVERYONE I'M BACK

Oh gosh, everyone is dead.

Did I do that? I think I did.

"It was Professor Spyro, in the Submarine, with the Knife!" 

Day 15

“And now,” Says Morris the cowboy,”I'm going to show you how to cook!”

“But Jim said-”

“Nonsense! Since Jim and The Teller are off to keep us alive after The Teller crashed the hotel into her address of 221b Baker Street, you’re not left with much.” Says Morris, waving a frying pan around and nearly smashing Will over the head with it. “l can cook! Don’t question!” He then waltzes over to the stove in the kitchen and proceeds to fumble with some knobs. “l’m pretty sure that this is how you turn this thing on.” Spyro elbows him out of the way and tries to light the burner. “Not working.” Brookeira shoves Spyro out of the way. “You metaled the knobs!” She says. “Well, we’ll just have to do the old fashioned way.” Says Morris.

“And what is that?” Asks TARDISrider.

“Bonfire! If you want some grub, then get some fuel!”

And of course the only fuel was German history books. “Do we really have to burn them?” Somebody asks. “They’re so nice and all.”

“No question about it.” Says Booksy. By then everyone else is enthusiastic about this whole thing.  They have seemed to forgotten the fact that Morris may or may not be able to cook. They pile German history books in the middle of the main room and then Spyro lights then on fire. Somebody sulks in the corner, rather mad about the books, along with the last of the Dalek-rabbits. The other CBers rush off the various places to get ingredients for whatever they’re making. Somebody eyes the growing pile of…...Stuff. Chili peppers, anti-freeze, a smashed light bulb, and-

“Is that a dead mouse?” Somebody asks Shadowdancer.

“Does it look like a dead parrot?”

“Why, yes it does.”

****

Katydid has been sent on a mission to find salt and pepper for whatever it is that they’re making. She’s searched empty halls, empty rooms, and found some empty salt and pepper shakers.

She sighs and opens yet another door.

“BOO!”

She yelps are whirls around. It’s just Silvery. “You scared me half to death.” She says surprised. But in the shadows, someone is listening. And now they have an idea.

****

Back in the main room, things are going…….Oddly. Morris is balancing a cookbook in one hand a large egg-beater in the other.

“One dead parrot!” He calls out. There is a huge iron pot right in the middle of the German history books pile, bubbling with-who-knows-what.Shifting tosses the dead parrot into the pot. It lands with a splash, scattering hot who-knows-what all over the room. “Duck!” Cries Will, diving under a table. The who-knows-what sizzles on whatever it touches and starts to burn it like acid. Everyone comes out from their cover. “That is wicked.” Says TARDISrider, looking closer at a patch of carpet that is slowly turning black and smokey. “l don’t think that it’s safe to eat.”

“Nonsense!” Says Morris. “It’s perfectly fine!”

The other CBers glance at each other, uncertain.

****

Turning a corner, Katydid sees what she’s been looking for all along. “Salt and pepper! Salt and pepper!” It’s right at the end of the hall, almost too good to be true. She dashes to end, and is about to triumphantly close her hand around the container, when someone suddenly jumps out of the shadows and yells, “BOO!” Katydid crumples to the ground, salt and pepper in hand.

“Ha.” Says the person. “Scared half to death, twice.” They then smugly pick up the salt and pepper. “Wouldn’t be needing this anytime soon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

R.I.P. Katydid. Rest in salt and pepper.

Day 16

The Radium clocks cast an eerie glow over the few sleeping forms in the main room, who have found out that their rooms have evicted them, and must sleep there. A few lonely stars twinkle outside the window, indifferent for the most part. All is dark and silent, for the most part.

A person is sitting on the edge of a table, fingering a knife wondering what they’ve done with their life. “Nothing matters in the end. In the end there’s only death.”

“But death is only the end if you assume the story’s about you.” Says The Teller, gliding up to them and tossing them a can of cat food.  “The story will go on for everyone else.”

“And you are forgotten.”

“Unless you do something to remember you by.”

“Aye.”

The person mulls over this, then jump off the table. “Where l go no one knows. Whether l come back is up to-”

Suddenly the light flash on, and the person hurriedly dashes away. The clocks start to ring. Very loudly. “Time to start your day!” Says The Teller, grabbing a pot of coffee and emptying it on the nearest CBer, which happens to be Booksy. “That’s the spirit!” As she sits up, sputtering.

“And oh, avoid that hole that appeared overnight!”

“Thanks for the warning.” Says TARDISrider, sarcastically, grabbing Somebody’s hand before she slips into the hole.

“No problem!”

Brookeira sigh and mutters something about crazy people.  

“l’m hungry.” Moans Spyro.

“Ah, oh yes.” Says The Teller, digging around in a pocket. “Breakfast is served!”

“Cat food?” Shadowdancer wonders, suspiciously opening the can that The Teller had tossed her. “Where did you get it? It’s not like there’s any cats around.”

Lemony Snicket gives an indigent hiss, then jumps on Shadowdancer’s shoulder, and proceeds to eat the cat food that she’s holding.

“l found it at the end of a dark hall, by some spilled salt and pepper.” Says The Teller. “It should be safe.”

Will grabs a fork from absolutely nowhere and  takes a bite. He suddenly freezes and begins to turn into smoke.

“Will?” Somebody asks. “Wha-what is happening?” But he is gone, just a smell of smokey cat food left. “Well that was weird.” Brookeira says. “it must’ve been the cat food.”

“How do you know?” Shifting asks. “It could’ve been anything else.”

“We-well, l-l just do-”

“Very probable.” Mutters Silvery.

“But look,” Says Shifting, “That cat isn’t dead. It must’ve been something else.” Or maybe not….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

R.I.P. Will. Rest in cat food.

Apologies for the shortness, l’m running out of ideas.

I knew I shouldn't have gotten near that cat food.     

Oh, and are we allowed to guess more than once? 

On second thought, I think Brooke might have done it.

l'm sorry guys that l haven't been posting. l just got better from a cold and been having a rough time lately, school and sports aren't helping with time.

And one of my dear animal companions died.