Loose lines, metaphors,

Chatterbox: Pudding's Place

Loose lines, metaphors,

Loose lines, metaphors, similies, poem ideas, etc...

So, there's a thread like this on Cicada, and since I still have 26 days until I can make an account on there (yes, I'm counting down the days, don't judge me), let's make it a thing on Cricket! This thread is exactly what it sounds like- post your lines of poetry that have no poem to go in, your metaphors or ideas that need work and possibly critique, anything of the like, and maybe we can help each other out or gather ideas. Please don't steal from other people though. I know you guys won't, but I had to say that.

Thanks for reading! I'll post some of mine when this thread shows up.

~Bluebird 

submitted by Bluebird
(December 20, 2017 - 9:19 pm)

Great idea! I think this might be exactly what I need. I have tons of random verses that won't fit into a poem or anything but that I still want to share.

-i can see your iridescent wings

-the late night dimness is therapeutic

-my erratic brain has been questioning who i/am

-i could never measure up to your standards

-we were not built from stone, to crumble away after hundreds of years, we are iron sculptures

-unless we fade into the darkness 

 

I'll share some more tomorrow! 

 

submitted by Leafpool, age Finite, This side of reality
(December 23, 2017 - 4:08 pm)

Wooooah, these are awesome! I especially like this one- we were not built from stone, to crumble away after hundreds of years, we are iron sculptures

submitted by Bluebird
(December 28, 2017 - 10:40 pm)

Yes, I love that line, Leafy! How can you be so good?

submitted by LilyTop!
(January 3, 2018 - 4:40 pm)

TOP!

submitted by Leaftop!, age Finitetop, This side of TOP!ality
(December 24, 2017 - 2:40 pm)

Our dreams became

Torn pieces of paper

That fell to the groud like

Monochromatic landslides 

submitted by Sprocket
(December 26, 2017 - 11:12 pm)

-let me take your hand and see if i/can find a reaction

-carbon, methylene, meteor/oid

-she is candlesmoke and purple paint spirals, unformed carbon, pencil graphite  

submitted by Leafpool, age Finite, This side of reality
(December 28, 2017 - 12:18 pm)

"Claire is like you, a creature made from light and ashes." (Something from a Cicada article) 

The trees are beginning to rust

Like trying to nail Jell-o to a wall

What am I, a bathroom troll?

Does anyone else see the bay windows, the columns on the second stories? 

Wheelbarrow flowers 

submitted by Viola?, age Secret, Secret
(December 28, 2017 - 6:47 pm)

the things they won't uncover

I just thought of that and I like how it sounds 

submitted by Shoshannah
(December 28, 2017 - 7:22 pm)

~you've got a forest inside you / and i have a knack for wandering off the trail 

~skies so like the euphotic zone / crystalline and flickering turquoise  

~your eyes are made of mars dust and a thousand gold mines 

~don't hold me accountable for the things i write in verse

~so i'll fill the emptiness inside me / with words of people i've never met / i understand now how sirens killed with song on their lips 

~above us, there are branches like carob or havana cat fur / twisting and dormant / piercing the clouds

~you look at me longer, now 

Poem ideas~ I have some titles that I want to expand on, 'ode to winter coats' , 'sequoia' , and '127.0.0.1', but I need to come up with more wintery and forest-y metaphors first. 127.0.0.1 is kind of like a home address to almost all computers, or something? (I don't remember all of it, my dad told me about it. But I want to write something with that as the title) I also eventually want to write a poem about poets, and artists. 

submitted by Bluebird
(December 28, 2017 - 10:40 pm)

Whoa, how are you so good?? Your poetry, even in scattered lines, never fails to inspire me. They're all amazing but I especially love the one about the sirens.

submitted by Abigail S., age 13, Nose in a Book
(December 29, 2017 - 11:45 am)

Thank you <33 I feel the same about your poetry.

submitted by Bluebird
(December 29, 2017 - 8:22 pm)

I love 'you've got a forest inside you/and I have a knack for wandering off the trail'. It's really beautiful. I also like the idea of Ode to Winter Coats and Sequoia. 

submitted by Leeli
(December 31, 2017 - 12:07 pm)

Wow, you're amazing, Bluebird. How can you be so good?

submitted by LilyPad, In awe
(January 3, 2018 - 4:38 pm)

here's some random junk that's been writhing around in the corners of my mind:

+++ 

- she is not scared of very much except perhaps herself

- he stares at what is now a skype call with a seedy-looking motel room in deep-set nowhere and wonders whether the stars breathe

- fragments of thoughts yet to be formed

- and just like that, the world is soft again

- there are only so many saturdays

- death comes to her door in yellow satin

- I'm drying pens and 99%

-  do you ever have days where the world feels sad for no reason and you just want to crawl inside someone else's world and breathe their air until you forget about everyone you ever were and are?

- you run cold, your hands are always so and perhaps your heart is too

- screw everything else I want or wanted, I just need my friend back 

-  hope is a wicked, wicked thing

- keep your head up and your shoes tied, if you trip and fall you won't want to get back up again 

- confused child with a head full of poetry and a heart full of cracks  

ideas to expand on: 

character shoes; things to live for (list poem); the intoxication of gossip; dangerous secrets; thinking in feelings; breathless insignificance; romantacizing the past; what if I jump?; the western wall; complications of history; "how to feel different, how to feel new"

submitted by Abigail S., age 13, Nose in a Bo
(December 29, 2017 - 12:27 pm)

Oh my gosh, the line "do you ever have days where the world feels sad for no reason and you just want to crawl inside someone else's world and breathe their air until you forget about everyone you ever were and are?" Is so relatable! It could be a short poem by itself!

submitted by Bluebird
(December 29, 2017 - 8:26 pm)