<extny> extinct? What's extinct? New York?

Haha hiiii. I'm a bit burnt out again like I was last time I posted; I'm so close to end of semester I can taste it! But I'm getting more frequent days where I stay on my phone to avoid school, and then am stressed because procrastinating school around finals is NOT a good idea lol. Anyways, that being said, I DO have words i've writen. I've had a lot of inspiration the last two weeks (just not much time to write 🙁 ) but I did write most of a scene and got to a good stopping point. I won't be posting it today, however, but tomorrow. Just wanted to let y'all know this weeks post will be up tomorrow.

And also, after posting tomorow, I will take an indeifinte hiatus from posting writing. I have two weeks + finals of school left, and then a mini-vacation, so I'm not going to try to stick to a schedule with writing. I'm so close to end of school hahaaaa. So close!! My plan is to write a lot more during summer, too, so I just gotta power through school.

I'll still be checking chatterbox though if y'all want to chat/ask questions/vent/whatever. I am more than down to socialize haha. 

Thanks for y'all that keep reading and commenting! I'll have another scene up tomorrow. ttfn <3

I'm SO brain dead (I've been revising a paper for like 5 hours straight lol) but here is the chapter! Like I said, I'll be on a hiatus for a bit after this one. 🙂

—

The sun had set hours ago; the moon was high in the sky and shined vibrantly through the clear sky. It was quiet. There was something about the scene that carried an almost sacred serenity. Lucius was aware of it – distantly. Upon the edge of his thoughts lingered an appreciation and awe for the moonbeams shining through his window, the stars bright in the sky, and the sanctuary that only comes from being completely alone. Stronger, though, a distracting discomfort consumed his mind. It was keeping him awake, no matter what attempts he made to purge the feeling. He read – he hadn’t read in months. He also tried pacing and stretching to physically wear his body out, but even as he lay in bed his mind refused to settle. Finally, after staring out a window until he could bear it no longer, Lucius pulled out an ornate box from his desk.

Inside it laid a key to his mother’s room. It had been a gift to use whenever he had a particularly bad nightmare. He would flee to his mother, no more than a child, and fall asleep in her arms. Lucius wasn’t a child anymore – the box was covered in a thick layer of dust – so it was unnecessary to wake his mother up because of such weakness. He was however, in his desperation, willing to come close. 

He opened his door and peered through a crack. The guard stationed nearest jerked and turned swiftly towards the creaking sound it made, and Lucius slowly stepped out from behind the door. Again, there was something that felt sacred about the silence. The groaning door seemed too hideously loud against the night. 

“Your majesty?” The soldier’s voice was softer than a whisper. “Is everything alright?” He was reaching for flint to start up his torch again – there hadn’t been a need to keep it going with the moon as bright as it was – but Lucius waved his hand to stop the action.

“Everything’s alright,” he breathed, “I’m just paying a visit to my mother.” He could see a question behind the man’s eyes, but Lucius couldn’t think of a dignified excuse to answer. “Keep your silence.” 

The soldier nodded. He straightened and stepped back into his position, pressing himself into the shadows of the wall. The dark armour obscured his figure surprisingly well. Lucius nodded at him and then pressed ahead into the corridor. 

The two royal suites were located in the two tallest towers of the castle and connected by a skyborn bridge. The architecture was a feat of impressive scope. It was an enclosed stone corridor, just like any hall in the castle, but was lined with large windows from which the best view in Belfrise was found. Beams of moonlight shone through onto the floor. There were a few other guards merged into the shadows, but they remained unmoving as he passed. 

He quickly reached his mother’s door and inserted the old key, twisting it and pressing the door open. There was quiet on the other side, too. A warmer sense of quiet that no longer lurked at the edge of his senses but pushed and overcame the tension from before. His mother’s rooms always smelled of lavender, and he loved the perfume she wore that made it so. It was lavender, but warmer and richer, as well as soft and subtle. The scent was so familiar and comforting that he breathed it in with a sigh of relief as he shut the door softly behind him. He’d sleep on a couch. He just needed the steady calm that his mother provided, even if it was from a distance. 

It was quite the shock to look up from the key in his hand and see his mother’s figure prostrate on the floor. There was a moment of panic that flared through him before he processed the scene. Deanna’s hands and face were pressed towards the floor underneath a large window across the room. A candle rested upon the window’s sill, carved in the shape of a delicate flower. It’s warm flame contrasted the harsh light of the moon. The smoke that rose appeared to be of a deep purple hue. It was common, in worship, to choose a candle that appeared the most beautiful to the buyer. The candle currently burning was one of his mother’s favorites. Had her posture not reflected a position of prayer, he would have supposed she was worshipping. Although why she was up so late was beyond him to discern.

He watched, entranced and confused. A part of him wished to stay, but a larger part of his conscience didn’t want to impede the privacy of his mother. His breath caught as he turned the door knob. It groaned beneath his hand, softly, but even the quietest of sounds are easily heard against the dead of night. 

Deanna straightened abruptly and whirled around to face him. Her face revealed shock,  then relief mixed with confusion. “Lucius? What -?” she had started to climb to her feet, but Lucius stepped towards her with his hand out. 

“No, don’t move, I didn’t realize you were praying. I’ll go.” 

“It’s alright, don’t worry, I was just – what time is it?” She turned to glance out the window and her shoulders fell. “I didn’t notice the moon was so high already.” Now on her feet, she stepped towards Lucius with narrowed eyes. “What’s your excuse?”

“I – couldn’t sleep. I thought perhaps a change of scenery would help.” 

“Oh.” Her eyes flickered to the key in his hand and she smiled. “You’re welcome to sleep in Ignes’ room, may his soul rest with Kalo Nima.” 

He grimaced. “No, no, I’ll return to my chambers-”

“Nonsense. You can take a couch. There’s plenty – oh I’m so sorry Lucius. Asking you to sleep in his room is horrible of me. My thoughts are terribly scattered.”

Lucius was beginning to feel like his mind was spinning. He made his way to the nearest couch and smiled at Deanna. “I’ll take a couch, thank you. I’m sorry for the trouble, this is…”

“Bizarre,” she finished for him, and suddenly they were both laughing. It didn’t come from a place of genuine amusement, not really. But it did diffuse the tension in the situation. Deanna crossed the room to join Lucius. 

He noticed as she walked how loose her nightgown seemed – her collar bones were scarily pronounced. Had she been eating properly? 

“Since you're up, will you braid my hair? I forgot to have Marcelia do it.” She sat at his feet after he nodded. Her hair was grayer than he remembered, too. The silver strands stood out against her dark brown ones as he began to untangle them with his fingers. The contrast was beautiful, yes, but Lucius thought they might be reflective of a deeper issue. 

Stress, grief, and worry were all plausible causes. It only made sense, considering that she had lost her husband, nearly lost her son, and was serving as queen of a kingdom on the verge of war. He hadn’t checked up on her as often as he should have. Lucius felt gnawing guilt – he could easily see now how frail her figure had grown. The worry spurred him to reach out now. 

“Mother, have you been alright?”

“What do you mean?” Her response was quick. 

Lucius sighed. “You seem like you haven’t been eating, and I’m worried now that you’ve not been sleeping either. I forget too easily what Ignes’ death must have done to you and I regret not helping you more.”

“What happened tonight is not a frequent occurrence, Lucius! I simply felt called to prayer in light of the decision today.” There had been a lot of decisions made earlier in the court, but Lucius assumed she was referring to the finalization of the renewal with King Eno. They had sent a few pigeons back and forth before agreeing on a date, which was only a few weeks away. The anxiety from the day was probably what had kept him up, too, but he wasn’t about to mention it.

“And about the rest, mother?” 

She hesitated, this time. “Is my son my keeper?” 

“Us royalty don’t have access to anyone else. Who else can look after you with Ignes gone? I am sorry I have shirked the responsibility until now, but I won’t any longer, mother. I won’t watch you waste away in front of me.” 

“I cast no blame upon you.”

Lucius smiled sadly. “I know.”

They sat in silence for a while. Lucius focused on braiding his mother’s hair to allow room for Deanna to speak, and she focused on gathering her thoughts. Eventually, amidst the swirling of her mind, she found the words to say. 

“I worry, Lucius. I worry more than I can bear. So I pray – while I did not lie in saying tonight is not a frequent occurrence, I do pray more often than I can count. It is easy to lose track of time in such an activity,” she laughed softly, “although, again, not as extreme as tonight. Perhaps I do not take care of myself as I should, and perhaps I forget to properly eat or rest, but there is nothing else I can do in light of my worry. I worry about things that are out of my control and understanding so I pray that Kalo Nima might work her threads in every situation and bring about Good.”

“For what do you worry? Is there anything I can do to assist in relieving your stress? One word and it’s yours.” He was nearing the end of her braid. It was a simple and secure braid, one she taught him as a child, that would last through sleep. 

Deanna laughed again, her voice taking on a bitter edge. “I worry for you, Lucius.”

He was a bit taken aback, and stumbled over his response. “I – I assure you that I am secure; you know Jaque is taking extra precautions.”

“No, Lucius.” The moment Lucius finished the braid she had whirled her head around to face him. She took his hands in hers as she looked up into his eyes. “I – worry… tell me, do you miss your father?”

“What?” He creased his brow. “Ignes? I-”

“You don’t even refer to him as father, Lucius!” She leaned back on her heels and pressed her hands to her face. “I have this image of your father on the night you were born. . . There was this look in his eyes as he held you and I didn’t realize what it was until I saw the tears rolling down his face. I have never seen your father cry, and I have never seen him so full of love.” Her eyes were closed as she recalled the scene, and Lucius, too, found himself picturing such an image. Something in his heart twisted at the thought. “I knew, then, that being the wife of a king wouldn’t be such the horrible burden that history makes it out to be. My child would have a father as a king, and not a king as a father.” 

“But somewhere the line became blurred,” she continued, her voice wavering. “I don’t know when it happened, but by the time I realized it I was too late. Somewhere along the way you lost your father. Somewhere along the way… I lost my husband. I lost him long before he passed.”

“I had everything I ever wanted, mother. He taught me everything I know.” As his mother began to cry in earnest, Lucius pulled her to the couch and wrapped his arms around her. “I lacked nothing from him. Or you.” 

“I am sorry,” she cried, “It is too late to be having this conversation, I don’t mean to cry.” Lucius soothed her and she took a few deep breaths to steady her voice. “I grieve a man dead 20 years, Lucius, that is all.” 

“And you worry far too much, mother.”

“Do I?” She pulled away from him and narrowed her eyes at him. They were wet with tears, but fierce in her emotion. “Do you miss your father? Do you grieve? Did you love him at all?”

Lucius took a steadying breath. “He prepared me for his death. I’ve known since I was young that he would die and I would replace him, and I was shocked at first when he passed, but… it was expected. His death meant that it was time for me to step into the role he spent my whole life preparing me for. I honor his memory by continuing the Maelfesta legacy.” 

Her lips pressed together, but she didn’t speak. Lucius found himself continuing. “I sometimes find myself wishing he was still here. So, to answer your question, I suppose that would mean that I miss him. He was a good king and I want to make him proud, but he’s not around to tell me if my actions are wrong or right. I wish I had his advice to guide me.” His voice grew softer as he continued, and his voice strained. He pressed his palms into his eyes and groaned. “Yes, woman, I grieve.” 

Deanna reached towards her son and began to draw soothing circles on his back with her palm. Lucius’s heart twisted even tighter, and he took a few deep breaths to steady the racing of his heart. He eventually straightened and brought his hand down to stop Deanna, bringing her hands into his own. “I was born for this. You do not need to worry for me.”

She smiled up at him. “I am far less worried now that I know you have feelings. You’ll be a better king than your father, Lucius, rest assured.”

“He was a good king. I can only hope.”

“You are a good king and a good man, Lucius. That is all I ever hoped for for you and it still is all I hope for in my prayers. That Kalo Nima, Goodness and Truth and Beauty herself, would be revealed through you and in you for all of your days.”

Lucius could only nod in response. His eyes were beginning to grow heavy.

—

Ta-da! You don't have to end on a cliffhanger or anything; I'm not that mean! This scene isn't technically finished but I definitely came to a good stopping point, so you'll have some sleepy peacy vibes to go off of until I write again! Thanks all <3

I just finished editing the video for my flute section's ensemble hehe. I go to Biola University and in symphonic winds we did section long-distance recordings. It sounds SO good and I'm just excited lol. We played a sound of music medely. 

Also, I never asked, but what was the 90k+ work a fanfic about? Just wondering 🙂