Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. I can totally relate. It's hard. School now especially can apply a lot of pressure on people. I know I'm feeling it. My mom and I don't always see eye to eye, but the best thing to do is (I know it can be REALLY hard) try and bite your tongue. I'm training myself to do it, though I'm not always succeeding. And math tests my patience a great deal. Though thankfully, it tests my mom's as well, so instead of getting mad at each other, we throw the math book across the room (okay, not really, but close to it, we just end up screaming at it.)

Hmm. This sounds like some ridiculous, Ask Whoever type  thing, but I recommend thinking over what your parents said, and deeply thinking about why. Then think of some alternatives you'd like to do. Like a sport, i.e. soccer, and see if they like that idea. Maybe they have other reasons then the ones they're telling you for staying in fencing, who knows? But it's best to try and consider they're wishes for you as well, cause I remind myself a lot, they want the best for you. 

I am probably the WORST person about getting up. I detest it! And I'm often up till eleven, watching tv, or writing a novel. I should go to bed earlier, and have tried, but it doesn't work. And then I can never get everything done in a day! So, I guess I'm not one to offer suggestions, for then I'd be a hypocrite. But oh well. Only thing I can say, count sheep.

Hooray! I'm not the only one with this problem! I go through this ALL the time. I'm always wanting to be out there, doing something, getting good grades, and push toward my life goal! But then school, college, and the daily life get to me, and my dream seems farther away then ever! How do I get there? Really, exactly, I don't know. But I find prayer helps, A LOT! It calms me so much, to know God is looking out for me, and he knows my future already! So whatever happens,  just pray it is in His will. And things will work out, whether it's in the way we hope or expect or not.

I have not been to a phsycologist, but I know people who think I need to be institutionalized. So don't worry about it too terribly. Your not the only one to go through this. Trust me! ;)

GOOP!

I have a large secret that I've only told a few people. My parents are not two of these people. No adult knows and I've sworn all kids that I've told to secrecy. It isn't that bad of a secret (It isn't hurting anyone, honest! And it's not a thing I would get in trouble for, I don't think. I can't control it.) but I know how my parents react to similar stuff so I'm really scared that they will find out. I have nightmares all the time of them finding out. I have to lie every minute and act like everything's okay. I don't tell any adults (that know my parents) because they will tell my parents and then I will be done for...

And I lost my Japanese textbook. My parents will be really mad at me for that. I wonder if I can buy a new one and ask the library to please take it. 

I take fencing (it ended today. Sad) but the way you decribe your class sounds miserable. I can relate with something different, a drawing class where I'm the only one in 6th grade. They tricked me. Long story.

Time management is terrible. Next year I will have to wake up at six, and similar, I wake up at seven nowdays. It's torcher getting out of bed. Going to sleep isn't hard for me though.

I can see how you're nervous about general life goals. I bet everyone is. I want to be a cartoonist and novelist, but paper novels are slowly, painfully dying, plus in the long run my writing is no good, and I've completely given up on comic strips. It's dead out there. Our only hope is graphic novels and web comics. Sad. But, JDD, I think that you're someone who could get into the movie-making industry. When my kids do a Bio report on you like thrity years from now, I'll say, "I told you so."

The CB is a great thing, and I wish my friends would understand that. It's AWESOME. It's a good thing to bring joy to your life. 

Oh, honey. Hugs! And tl;dr:

It's very very hard for me to be to hold a conversation with my mother without devolving into shouting and/or tears and always has been. A lot of the problem is that we're both very stubborn and very grounded in our self-identities, which happen to be very different from each other and prone to clashing.

It was really bad when I was about your age, and one thing that we found helped was communicating through writing. It took the edge off the vitriol because we weren't talking directly, and writing things down gives you time to think and phrase yourself rationally rather than angrily. Maybe the next time you start getting pulled into a fight, tell her that you're getting too emotional to have a constructive conversation and suggest she give you some time alone so you can both write out what you feel about the issue, how you think it might be resolved, etc. and then exchange and read what the other has to say.

If she's not willing to try it, of course, there's not much you can do about that, but take deep, slow breaths and do your best to think and process what she's saying before you respond. A lot of times arguments build up steam because neither participant is actually listening to the other, which is neither helpful nor healthy.

Consider the possibility that what you're experiencing are anxiety attacks. Your descriptions of yourself as a pot with emotions boiling up inside and overwhelming you and the fact that it manifests itself in things like throwing things across the room would seem to me to indicate that either (a) you're in the habit of repressing your emotions and they're exploding on you or (b) you're having attacks in response to extreme life stress and/or general anxiety. In either case, try to develop an increased awareness of what you're feeling on a regular basis, not just when you're upset. I can't speak for (a), not having experienced it myself, but in the case of (b), which I do have a lot of personal experience with, attacks have triggers and if you can learn to identify those triggers, you can then learn to diffuse them and mitigate or even stop attacks entirely.

Everyone's different, but in my case, the first sign of an attack coming on is a circling of increasingly negative thoughts in a repeating pattern of what I've done wrong—>what I will do wrong—>what a terrible failure I am. It's very distinctive now that I know what to look for, and I also have developed a technique to stop it (by singing "everybody says don't" from anyone can whistle in my head and if possible removing myself from the situation). It may manifest differently for you, of course, but keep an eye out for patterns and similarities between outbursts!

If it's (a) that's the problem, becoming more aware of your emotions in general will probably help because the whole point of repression is to not do that, so reversing that habit would theoretically clear up the problem.

Now, to the rest:

1. I'd suggest writing down a list or explanation of why you don't like fencing, preferably with alternate suggestions that you enjoy more. If you've repeatedly gotten emotional over the issue, which is kind of the impression I'm getting, it's possible your parents are under the impression that you enjoy fencing when you're not being emotional and the asking to quit is just a manifestation of your standard teen angst. Having a rational thought process that you can present to them will help to correct that assumption, if it exists. The calmer you can be for the discussion, the more likely they are to listen to you.

For example, my mother used to force me to run a mile every day and we got into horrid screaming matches about it until it occurred to me that she didn't know I hate running because the impact involved hurts my legs. As soon as I explained that to her and asked if I could just bike instead, the problem disappeared.

2. If you're having problems getting to sleep/staying asleep/getting up in the morning/daytime sleepiness, the first thing to do is to check your sleep hygiene! Make sure you're not doing anything that might mess up your body's circadian rhythm. If problems persist, consider seeing a doctor because sleep disorders can be nasty and in some cases, if you have a biological predisposition to getting them, simply having appropriate sleep habits will not be enough. 

On the other hand, if it's simply a problem getting up in the mornings (I sympathize), the only way to do that is to pick a schedule and stick to it. It's awful for the first week or so, but once you get into the habit of getting up at a certain time, it'll get easier (even, most of the time, if you do have some kind of additional sleeping disorder—I have huge sleep onset issues and can't stay asleep for more than three or four hours at a time, and as I type this have not slept for over 24 hours with no sign of sleepiness anytime soon. All the same, I can maneuver my schedule enough to keep up with classwork and attendance).

Also, try not to oversleep. It feels nice at the time, but it plays havoc with your sleep schedule and it's never worth it in the end.

3. Work hard, pursue your goals with as much abandon as you can muster, and when the anxiety shows up, don't hide from it or ignore it (that just makes it worse), but acknowledge it's there and also that it is irrational, normal, not to be dwelled on, and ultimately wrong. Take deep breaths and relax your muscles and do something you enjoy, if time allows, talk to someone you trust about it if you can, and continue living your life. 

Last fall, my eighteenth-century lit professor said something along the lines of "I think a lot of my students go through Cornell feeling like frauds and waiting to be found out ('oh, we wanted the other [person with your name]. Sorry, our mistake, you can leave now'). I still feel like that myself sometimes today: 'ohhh, you're that shannon. When we hired you we thought you were the good one.' So take comfort in the fact that everyone feels the same as you do." Anxiety about the course of your life is going to happen forever; it's a part of being alive. It's okay, but don't let it hold you back.

Therapy might be helpful, might not. if you do opt for it, try to find a therapist who'll treat you and your problems with respect and professionalism and try to help you instead of whatever led the last psychologist to decide you needed to be institutionalized (you seem to be neither a danger to yourself nor others to me, judging by what I've seen of you on the CB).

Joe Dosie Doe, I know exactly how you feel! I was so happy to know someone else who wants to be a moviemaker! What kind? I was thinking the director, along my lines. 

If you hate fencing, but don't like outdoors sports, I strongly suggest karate. I take it, and it really helps to relieve stress. Any kind is good, but it kinda depends on how rough you want it to be. Even though I take a some-what easy going type, there are still those kicks, and strong punches, and sparring that really boost your energy, and make you feel happy and strong and motivated. 

I can totally tell your problems with math.. *blah* I do get into trouble about it, too. I can't seem to understand systems of linear equations, I don't want my mom to help me with it, but can't do it otherwise, yada yada yada. I usually cope with that by looking it up, or asking someone else for help. 

Also, I saw TNO talk about how you keep your anger and\or emotions inside you, and that just like me!!! I don't let anybody see how I'm feeling, but sometimes if you let it collect, it will come out in a jet. 

Some tips I learned about anger management =

1. Put into words what's making you upset. 

2. Then write down a number of different solutions to the problem. (Maybe 3 or 4)

3. Next to each result, write doen the consequences of each one. 

4.  Make decision on one of your solutions, and think about what your best choice would be. 

A good way to deal with anxiety is, actually, to get a good sleep schedule. You may not be able to sleep because you aren't exercising enough, or eating right.

And even if you don't like the outdoors, go for a hike around nature, it can have a very calming affect. 

@Ruby M: I think I know what your secret is. If I'm correct, that's my secret too. I've only told like 5 people but not my parents because they'd think I was just trying to get attention because of my depressed sister. The EOGs are stressing me out.