My AEs are more, as Alizarine said, ‘chunks’ of my personality, than voices, though it’s a bit more complicated than that. They’re chunks of my personality, mixed with other little parts of me that are thrown in. I don’t think that made sense, but whatever.

When I made my first AE, I was pretty new, and I didn't really understand what AEs were. His name was Alfred, and I’m not gonna go into the details, but let’s just say he was underdeveloped and not really what and AE is supposed to be. That’s why I got rid of him.

Shortly after that, I made Evil Devin. I still didn’t really understand AEs, and I really just copied the insane, slightly evil AE stereotype and gave him stuff that I thought was cool (dragon wings, the ability to shape shift, etc.). He didn’t really have a personality, and wasn’t developed at all. But, over time, he morphed into a real person with a real personality that is actually an aspect of myself. He’s not the same AE I first created. In fact, you could say that they’re two entirely different characters.

Devin is my crazy, fun-loving, reckless, adventurous, immature side. He’s the part of me that would rather procrastinate and play video games all day than get anything done. He’s the part of me that speaks and acts without thinking. He’s the part of me that loves annoying people and playing pranks. He’s the crazy part of me that sometimes only shows up really really late at night. 

After awhile, I decided to make another AE. This time, I did it better. I took aspects of myself and used that to create a character who had a real personality. And thus Wren was born. Wren is another side of me. She’s my quiet, shy, socially awkward/anxious side. She’s the part of me that’s too self-conscious, cares too much about what other people think, and has a hard time talking to new people. She’s my sensitive side, the side that gets upset easily.

And then, awhile after I got rid of Alfred, I thought I’d make one more AE. That was Far. Far is slightly different. I feel like he’s less of a chunk of my personality, and more of a mixture of certain parts of me. I suppose he represents the part of me that’s living inside my head among my fantasies. The part that’s constantly dreaming of other worlds and things of that sort. He’s also the part that feels connected to nature, the woods and fields. So I took those feelings and thoughts, and they became Far. He’s sort of an embodiment of my imagination, and more. It seems natural that he would be an elf. 

But of course, being complex characters, my AEs aren’t confined to just one side of me. Sometimes Devin is serious and sincere. Sometimes Wren is energetic and fierce. Sometimes Far is reckless and adventurous.

So, I suppose that’s the story of how my AEs came to be. I don’t feel like they’re as developed as they could be, but I’m getting there. I used to sort of think that AEs were just a bunch of traits put into a random character that you used for fun, but I’ve developed mine past that now.

Well, let's see.

My AEs have always been more of their own separate characters to me. They all have aspects of myself in them, of course. But if I only take bits and pieces of myself and put them into a person, I might have enough material for their head. They need original material for the rest of their body. I don't have a strange affinity with veggie blasters, for example. xD

Let's start with my first AE - or, technically, my first two AEs. I created Devil Owl and Saint Owl at the same time. I was still a new CBer (ahh, all those years ago, I'm an old woman now) and didn't really have any idea what AEs were. But there was an AE RP going on and I wanted to join. Thus, I banged out some insane characters (that's what AEs were then, they were all insane, the variety came later) and stuck them in the story.

Dev is everything I dislike about myself. My insecurity is embodied in him. My childishness, impulsiveness, thoughtlessness, all a part of him. He is me when I lose control of myself and act like a five year old, laugh too loudly and too long, make jokes that aren't funny, the things that I look back on with embarrassment. We also both really like purple. And hate Brussels sprouts. 

The only part of me not in Dev is my temper. That's the part of me that honestly scares me. It feels so much hate, all the time. For that, I had Saint Owl. But I got rid of her a long time ago, because she was too violent for the CB.

Feather is the character of mine that has undergone the most transformation, I think. At first, she was the classic shy AE, mostly there to be bullied by Dev and Saint Owl. She was supposed to be my nerdy, bookish side. But, to be honest, that's my CB self!

So I can still remember this - I was scootering, and brainstorming, and Feather changed. She's still nerdy and still loves to read and still memorizes the dictionary for fun. But now, she can fight back. She's a black belt in karate (haha, I can't fight, that's part of her original content), and she has a HUGE temper, taken from Saint Owl (by that point removed) and, of course, myself. She's sassy and sarcastic (like I wish I could be) and altogether a much better character.

Then there was Cú. She's my newest gal. I made her because, while Feather and Dev exchanged their usual banter, I noticed there was something missing. I was making them say things they would never actually say. There was something missing in their banter. I needed a third AE.

That was on my mind when I went on my trip to Ireland. Then I went to a hurling match, and she struck, all at once. A sporty Irish lass! I've always been obsessed with Ireland. Since I was little, I've begged my parents to let me go. So I  took some classic Irish stereotypes, a bit of myself, and made Cú. I did like hurling, and I like soccer - I just escalated my enjoyment of them for her. I wanted to play violin (now I actually do), so she plays violin (the way I wish I could play). She has a temper, just like Feather. And she's just as quick, if not more, to violence, though I'm not really that violent myself. But one thing I gave her that I didn't give anyone else was how awkward I am around people I don't know very well. She yells and jokes around with her siblings, but she would NEVER do that with another AE. She gets very stiff and polite and even stuttery, just like I do.

So, yeah! My AEs definitely have aspects of my personality in them. But in the end, they're their own people, and I'm happy with them that way. 

This thread made me realize that Tric is not, truly, an AE. I got rid of him.

There's another huge side of me that might need to be expressed... we will see. 

I won't tell you which parts come from me, but I shaped Ocean to be helpful, kind, starry-eyed, funny, smart, the slightest bit eccentric, friendly, dare-devilish, and entirely lovable. But I also wanted her to be a warrior, stubborn, cold, calculating, calm, unreadable, and commanding. I wanted her to be the character who could be seen with a sword tucked under her occupied gun belt, laughing at an encyclopedic passage in a fantasy book but still has a deep, cold, sad look in her eyes. Wow. That came out of nowhere, but it explains her perfectly. I gotta write that down somewhere! XD But anyways, that is what I wanted Ocean Song to be.

My Æs are the embodiment of all the things I don’t show, I suppose. The voices in my head, that I never voice. Raven, who started out as a Captcha, I soon realized, was absolutely not a Captcha. She took one of the quieter voices in my head, and embodied it. My anxious, socially awkward, skittish, extremely introverted, self conscious,side. She is the logical voice in my head, that questions what I do, in a anxiety filled way. She is the voice that encourages me to read a book in a quiet corner, instead of going on stage, to voice my opinions. She is the voice, who can have long, beautifully worded conversations with nobody, but when she is speaking to sobody, the words get stuck in her throat. She is the part of me who is scared to try new things, for fear of failing. She exists out of the CB as well, as, what I have many times said, a voice in my head. 

Max, my second Æ, is the embodiment of a louder voice in my head. He is the voice that try’s to convince me to try EVERYTHING, or everything that seems fun. He is the fun loving part of me, who will jump up at the slightest mention of fun. He is the side of me who, is always ready to jump on his surfboard and catch a wave, the part of me who doesn’t think through anything before doing. His motto is: ‘Do, Don’t Think’ though he might not know it. He is fun-loving, and can come across as to...how to put it...Energy filled? Hmm, that’s one way to put it I suppose. He thinks he’s super awesome, and doesn’t take time to doubt himself. He’s the part of me who is like ‘you go, June! You can do anything!’. He has a...Colorful? Personality, that is often reflected in his clothing choices: Tye-Dye shirts, rainbow sweaters, etc. 

My newest Æ, Silvern, embodies a very quiet voice in my head. They are the part of me that I absolutely never voice, the secretive, mysterious, dark, part of me I don’t even really under-stand. If we where to say each of my Æ where a part of me, besides a voice in my head, Raven would be the brain, Max would be the heart, and Silvern would be the soul. It’s hard for me to describe Silvern, I suppose, probably because of my lack of understanding them. 

Something I am not proud of, is how, I have been moving away from who my Æs are, all but Max, I’ve been pretending Raven is more social, which she can be social-ish, but not at the level she has been. I’ve pretended Silvern wasn’t who they are, and I’m not proud of it. My Æs will probably be moving closer to who they really are soon. I’ll start actually listening to the voices in my head, instead of making what they say, more of what characters I’ve made up would say. 

If you make it through all of this, then, have some gluten-free, vegan pie! [}