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Funny things your
Chatterbox: Down to Earth
Funny things your
Funny things your family/friends have said!
I have a notebook in which I write weird things I heard people say, like:
"dip your feet in soup!"
"I was about to be be-headed, but then I was be-headed."
"don't you like chips mixed with toilet and ash?"
"Ohhh, what does this steamroller even want with me?!"
"it's just a man running into you."
anyone else collect funny quotes? post them here!
submitted by Tealeaf, age 13, Steeping
(March 27, 2021 - 7:59 am)
(March 27, 2021 - 7:59 am)
1) "BUT I REMEMBERED THE DODO!" (Forget the context, just a random screenshot I found of a chat with Nerd.)
2) "I am not a maggot clone." (More Nerd, we were roleplaying with Abcde and Dallas, so it actually makes sense.)
3) "I have no idea what's going on, so instead I'll just copy and paste the nutrition facts of a potato." (From a class discussion on a bulletin board website thing early in quarantine.)
4) My cousin: *casually pulls out one million dollars* "Here you go Mama. Yeeeeeeeeeereeeeeeeeeereeeeeeee!"
Me: *casually stows one million dollars in my pocket* "IT'S ALMOST EASTER!" (I was selling my cousin a sticker of a baby succulent. It was adorable, and totally worth a million dollars.)
5) "Okay, whenever you have time, tell me who you want to kill." (It was in a discussion about playing Mafia. But out of context, it's worth almost as much as a baby succulent sticker.)
6) Me: *checks P's hyper levels*
I: *calls 911 due to high hyper levels* *accidentally cuts feet off with phone cord* (From a version of the asterisk game, if any of you remember that. It got very chaotic and I (not me, the person I) ended up passionately kissing a dirty sock.)
7) P: *sings a song about misspelling words* *cried because I am a mental mess*
Me: *hands P a box of tissues*
P: *denies tissues because of dramatic effect*
Me: *kills dramatic effect* (More asterisk game)
8) Nerd: Miss Stevens, can I go to the bathroom?
Also Nerd because she was having a conversation with herself: NO YOU WILL STAY RIGHT HERE UNTIL I FINISH THIS LECTURE ON WHITE MEN
Nerd #1: But Mommy...
9) Nerd: Do you have any more brains for me to eat?
Nerd the third because I think she was going crazy: No, son, wait for the zombie apocaplyse.
10) Nerd again: I want to be a llama.
Me: The plastic surgeons might be able to help you with that.
11) R: I can look at your eyeballs.
C: Is that a threat?
12) Mr. S: Possesion of the virtual Lamborgini goes to...
13) R: Who said we couldn't have pizza radiation?
Author's Note:
Okay, that got a bit chaotic and I gave up on explanations halfway through... but I actually made this post after meaning to for a month, so yay me, I guess.
(April 21, 2021 - 10:58 pm)
"That's what dance is - you're just making a lie!" - N
"When you're hungry you lie on the floor a lot." - N
"U give meh a headache" - L
"Victor! His name is Victor now!" - M
"Okay, so yesterday I sneezed-" I
"Wow, what an interesting story!" - me
"Let me finish! Then I sneezed again-" I
"WOW THEN YOU SNEEZED AGAIN I CANT BELIEVE IT" - me
"I looked up Spider Grievous thinking nothing would come up, but alas, I was wrong." - K
"As so often happens when looking up random Star Wars stuff." - me
(April 23, 2021 - 8:19 am)
"Thanks, adoptive mother!"
"Sorry...NOT SORRY 'CAUSE WE'RE TALKIN' 'BOUT ANARCHY AND ANARCHY POGGERS!"
"..Since when were you the arsonist?"
"I am two parallel universes ahead of you."
"Chill adoptive grandmother, you have nothing to worry about."
"WAITASECONDTHECTPSDONTCOUNTASYOURGRADE?!!"
"Wow, that's a beautiful...uh, something."
"..dude push him off the railing. Give him a slap for me, at the very least."
"GIVE. ME. CHOCOLATE."
"I'm sleep-deprived and proud!"
"...ANYONE GOT COFFEE?!!"
"...Since when were you a gamer?"
"HOLD IT, THEY'RE WOLVES? I THOUGHT THEY WERE DOGS!"
"Go feed a parrot a cookie."
"SECOND AND THIRD ADOPTIVE MOTHER MY PARROT IDIOT DIED WHILE I WAS DIGGING KOOKOO'S GRAVE"
"Good morning adoptive child!"
"hElP- oh wait nevermind."
"y'all it's settles. Nadia and Inari got the answer at roughly the same time. Therefore either Nadia's smart enough to not count as an idiot, in my terms, or Inari is simply an idiot and is as smart as your average 4th grader. Don't question my thought process- oh wait, Inari was always an idiot." (Please do not kill me for this quote. Inari is the same Inari you know. Well, let's say we had an ~argumetn~ and you get a look into the real-life me! Welcome to Elle Does Things!)
"That should be a tagline for a movie...Light takes thousands of years to reach Earth..." ~My Science Teacher.
"NIGHTSKY YOU SMART" ~4th Grader
"I suppose we are all humans, then?"
"Well you see, I was always a "dirty crime boy" myself..." ~Riv
"*gasp* DID YOU COMMIT ARSON? 'CAUSE ARSON POG!" ~Riv
"Only killed 2 guards and broken into the vault? Come on, at least kill the king and burn down his palace! ARSON POG!" ~Riv
(All the ones with Riv are from a book.)
(April 23, 2021 - 12:21 pm)
-“How do you even get run over by a helicopter??”
-“That wasn’t very poggers of you
-“I have flushed you from the bathroom of my heart.”
-“DESTROY THE EMUS”
-“Unlike you, I can’t randomly become British whenever I want!”
-“Why did you shoot the potato off of the potato??”
-“Did the toilet just explode?”
-H: “Hey F I learned something new today”
F: “What is it?”
H: “...I forgot”
-“Singing is just screaming with a tune”
(April 24, 2021 - 8:28 am)
that last one is so true lol
(April 24, 2021 - 11:36 am)
Okay, another round, here we go!
"They should really charge their iPod."
"uGhHGhhHGh- YAY CANDY"
"This family tree is confusing- Elle's the grandmother of Iris and mother to KV, KV's mother to Iris, Em's mother to Iris, Sophie is Iris's best friend and her parents are S and Eva? WhashaRS:Df:SLKDFJ;klsjFD shELp" ~my friend
(I also use my own name as Elle, and all the common names, eg Iris, Eva, Sophie, etc, are in full, the uncommon ones are with initials or their nicknames.)
"You weren’t wrong when you said every music video had a twerking comment" ~Sophie
"Okay I saw this, it told me to repost and I'm crying because oh my gods this is so ~heartfelt~" ~WW
~
WW: iTs cAuSe YoUrE a gIrL (jk)
Eva: The person who went twice was also a girl.
WW: the teacher hates you?
Eva: Understandable. I also hate her.
WW: why are you putting periods
Eva: Because I can?
~
"I LOVE PERIODS!" ~Iris
"Minceraft. I hate it." ~Em
"cRYyYYyY I SPENT LIKE 1 YEAR DOIG THIS HARCROE THING AND NOW I DIDE AND IT GOT DELETEDDD!" ~Iris
"I was too desperate." ~Em
"Eh im gonna watch Wilbur. Oh hes not streaming- wait this isc onfusing." ~Iris
"ANARCHY POG~ ARSON POG~ GENOCIDE? HOMICIDE? ALL-THE-CIDES?!" ~Riv
"GENOCIDE AND THEIVERY GO BRR!" ~Riv
"WAIT DID YOU COMMIT ARSON?!!!" ~Riv
"SHUT UP YOU GUYS YOURE GOING TO ALERT THE GUARDS!"
"Sorry..NOT SORRY 'CAUSE WE'RE TALKIN' 'BOUT ANARCHY AND ARSON AND THEY POGGERS!" ~Riv
As you can see, we are hilarious.
(April 24, 2021 - 12:16 pm)
G: "HOW DO IT KNOW???"
(April 24, 2021 - 3:20 pm)
- "You have the reflexes of a turtle"
- "Time to meet Sweet Baby Gosses rath."
- "I'm a big boy now"
(April 28, 2021 - 12:12 pm)
"We're gonna watch popcorn, and watch dinner, and eat a movie." (Said by my sister, my family is gonna have a movie night tonight, and she was being REEEEEEAAAAAALLL WEIRD)
(April 30, 2021 - 6:37 pm)
M: I don't even have a Chromebook.
L: It's called a ChromeSCREEN!
And I have nothing else. For now...
(May 3, 2021 - 7:04 pm)
I can't remeeeember any, but I'll be back
Here's some Hamilton that my brother and I messed up tho
You talk too much, you're abrasive
I'm incredible in court, I'm succinct, persuasive
Your client needs a strong defense, I'm the solution!
(May 3, 2021 - 7:35 pm)
My sisters and I have a large collection of inside jokes/quotes!
Here are a few:
"Coal? You're so predictable."
"You body might decay, and your spirit might live on, but we don't care! We have a sandwich! Sandwiches are superior to spiders!"
"LoBsTeR bIsQue!"
"I'm tryin' to speed things up here, but I'm scared to reach the intercom."
(May 3, 2021 - 8:54 pm)
Later Fidgetees!
Never stab Grandma with a pencil.
GRANDMA'S SOUL IS POSSESING ME!
GRANDMA SHALL DESTROY YOU!
We sort of have a running joke about Grandma
(May 4, 2021 - 7:28 am)
lol I'm back with more :)
"Real toys are overated. let's play with meat!"
"So like, blood is basically outer space?"
Teacher: "what are tears made out of?"
Student:"onion juice"
"Don't eat pixy sticks, they could be toadstools."
"mom, look! this rubber band says 'andy boy' on it. can I fry it?
"is that a children in my mouth?"
"Rest in peace, brocoli piece."
"it's just a friendly intestine!"
"who needs to turn?"
"it doesn't matter if it's a clean pan, it just has to work."
(May 4, 2021 - 7:38 am)
"But what if he calls us the Tweet Triplets?!" - I
Me: I decided I'm going to collect all the cicada skins I can this summer and keep them in a box
I: What but you hate cicadas
Me: Yeah but I love their skins...that sounded weird
I: That makes no sense
Me: Yeah I know lol but I don't HATE cicadas I just don't LIKE them
I: *disbelieving face emoji*
Me: Okay fine I hate them but I can still collect the skins which I don't hate lol
"I have a bunch of uncle Jameses- Jameses? James? What's the plural for Jameses? Oh wait they're all Jim anyway" - Me
"Why is it goose and geese but not moose and meese?" - Me
(May 4, 2021 - 8:50 am)