Actually Autistic

Chatterbox: Down to Earth

Actually Autistic

Actually Autistic Thread!!

Hello all! Welcome to the Actually Autistic chat thread. This is a place for everybody-Autistics (whether formally diagnosed, self diagnosed, or questioning) as well non autistics. You can use this to post that info dump that's been buzzing in your head, ask for advice about meltdowns, shutdowns, sensory issues, social problems, etc. as well as to make inquiries about Autism to build a better understanding. Even if you feel like you question seems dumb or weird, ask away! I will do my best to answer any inquiries posed in a timely manner. 

 

And that's not all! You have permission to use this thread for whatever you please, as long as you are kind and respectful. :)  

submitted by An Autistic
(April 19, 2023 - 7:56 am)

back to the Down to Earth

It seems like sensory overload tips are a much desired post. I will begin compiling a list! 

submitted by An Autistic , @Sensory Overload Tips
(April 21, 2023 - 10:28 am)

Oh, man, Periwinkle, I had the same symptoms too!

So, when I was 'bout four years old, I was a literal NIGHTMARE on a two-part plane ride to my birth state, and the gate person said "I don't think *Insert my real name here* should be flyin' today" and my mom was SO. MAD. This was before I was diagnosed with Autism, so my mom didn't know exactly what she was dealin' with.

submitted by Emekittycon Kitten, age 14, Kitten Kingdom
(May 18, 2023 - 12:06 pm)

This is a really nice idea, honestly, i think its rly helpful and stuff.

im not autistic, but i am a HSP, a highly sensitive person. and my anxiety is sometimes linked to that, like if my friends dont text back, i immediately assume they hate me. or if someone makes a kinda mean joke, i cry. It's just..how i am. But a lot of times, people make the ultimate mistake and say, 'why are you so sensitive?' which literally makes me so sad. Or like even my friends will say things in a certain tone of voice, and it makes me sad. It's so weird idk.

And also, completely unrelated to being an HSP, I have this odd thing where whenever someone breaks down a box i start hyperventilating. Like it's veryyyy confusing. But its rly hard when this happens when my friends are over bc as much as they want to help me, like its kinda scary to watch me do this? So they kinda just act weird. Idk. 

Yeah this is really random. Lol. Kinda just saying stuff.  

submitted by ~Amarillis~, age 12 eons, Hills of Smog
(April 20, 2023 - 9:38 am)

Hello ~Amarillis~! First of all, I like your name for a couple reasons. The first: this ~ is such a fun thing. The second: It's very close to the name of a flower I like! 

Second of all, I'm not a HSP, but I can relate to you in a few ways. Some of my similar behaviors come from masking and repeated missing of social cues, leaving me to hyperfixate on every little change in body language and also just a general difficulty with emotional regulation, so I don't know if my advice would actually help since we probably have different causes for similar traits. And yeah, being asked why you're "so sensitive" really sucks. I know from experience. 
Third of all, that thing with a boxes is interesting! (To be clear I mean interesting with absolutely no negative connotation) There are a lot of really random things that really distress me as well, such as books or stuffies or whatever being placed or left in uncomfortable looking positions. I don't know why, but it's a thing. And...yeah, sometimes when I freak out over things it can be scary to people around, and I always feel really bad. Generally I try to have conversations with people as we grow closer about these things and what to expect if I have an episode around them, so it's less confusing and distressing for them (as well as for me, because then they might actually know what to do (and not to do) to help make it better!) Though, I also know it can be a really awkward and sometimes intimidating conversation to have. 
submitted by An Autistic
(April 20, 2023 - 10:57 am)

I feel you on the mean joke thing. That happens every day in Japanese. I am also often very down on myself and call myself stupid and an idiot.

submitted by Golden Lion Tamarin
(April 20, 2023 - 12:46 pm)

Aw yeah! I had a friend who did similar things to that, calling themselves stupid and stuff. But I kinda had to just be there for her, and try to get her through that time. 

submitted by ~Amarillis~, age 12 eons, Hills of Smog
(April 21, 2023 - 7:38 am)

Oh yeah, about the box thing, I often get really sad when something (inanimate) about to be destroyed is personified. Like once when we were getting the couch moved out, my mom was like "say bye to the couch" and I immediately started crying and ran up to my room. Also, when I was little I had SUPER big temper tantrums, like I started pounding on the door and actually broke it, then had to pay for it with my allowance :/

 

submitted by Golden Lion Tamarin
(April 20, 2023 - 5:37 pm)

@Golden Lion Tamarin: Wow, I have almost exactly the same experience. (With the door, but also the empathy toward inanimate objects. I've completely sobbed over similar things.)  

submitted by An Autistic
(April 21, 2023 - 9:28 am)

I was diagnosed with Autism when I was 'bout six years old, but I'm still not sure how it effects my life. My BFF's mom said that what Autism does is that the person's brain develops slower, but I don't think that counts for all people. Could someone give me even a hint of what other ways Autism effects a person??

Also, my BFF's brother AND his friend pick on me, and both A and I think that it's 'cause of my Autism. What do I do?!

And, lastly, I not only have Autism, but I have both Autism AND ADHD.

submitted by Emekittycon Kitten, age 14, Kitten Kingdom
(April 20, 2023 - 12:27 pm)

Hello Emekittycon Kitten! 

Firstly, Autism doesn't actually make the brain develop more slowly! It's a common misconception though because that's what people thought for a while and so it was taught and spread pretty widely. More recent research has shown that Autism is just a divergent neurotype, so our brains process information and think a little differently then our nuerotypical peers. Secondly, since it's a nuerotype Autism can show up in a lot of different ways from person to person (the same way there's a lot of variety among neurotypical people) but some of the more universal (but NOT necessary to be Autistic) experiences include sensory processing issues often leading to either hypo sensitivity or hypersensitivity to certain sensory input (example: hating or becoming distressed over tags in clothes (hypersensitivity), eating really REALLY spicy food (hyposensitivy), needing to wear sunglasses in grocery stores or other buildings or just in general when other people aren't bothered by the light at all (hypersensitivity) and on and on.). Note: you can be hyperysensitive to some kinds of sensory input (like light and noise) and hypo sensitive to others, and sometimes your sensory profile will shift over time! Another common experience of Autistic people is a difficulty communicating with nuerotypical peers due to middling social cues, not being very good at reading between the lines, and having a different way of showing empathy. Some Autistic people also experience a strong desire for predictability, so like going to places you've gone before, eating the same foods over and over again, and if you're going somewhere or doing something new being able to have a plan or outline of what it's going to be like. A lot of Autistic people also experience what we call "Special Interests", which are more intense and sometimes really specific interests that provide us a lot of joy when we get to engage with them and tell people a lot a lot about them. 
Those are all the possible experiences  I'll list for now, but if you would like more just tell me! You can also share experiences you've had and I can tell you if I relate or if it's a commonly noted autistic trait. 
Thirdly, I'm sorry you're being picked on. I wish I had some better advice on what to do, but these situations are really tricky because there isn't much that you can do to change others behavior. You could try talking to them about how it's upsetting to you, but that only really works if it's friendly teasing and they aren't actually trying to be mean, which it may not be. I don't have enough information to judge that. You could also ask an adult for help, but that usually doesn't solve the problem. Unfortunately not a lot really does, except the perpetrators maturing out of the behavior. Just remember that you're awesome. I'll try to come up with better advice later. 
Lastly: AuDHD buddies! 
submitted by An Autistic
(April 21, 2023 - 9:56 am)

Quick question: would, at a very young age, having super large temper tantrums leading to bedroom door breaking count as autitstic behavior? Also, with the not relating to neurotypical people, I relate to that a lot. My mom has said that the reason I don't have too many friends is because I am homeschooled and don't have too many opportunities. However, I think that in general, it is hard for me to connect with others; sometimes I get really into playing with someone for a short play session, then later decide I don't really want to be this person's friend. Also, I think my best friend (he recently moved to South Dakota but visited SoCal recently) might be neurodivergent. Can I use ND and NT for abbreviations of neurodivergent and neurotypical respectively? They take a while to spell out, even though I am a good typist. Well, I think my friend is ND, and definitely not NT, because his behavior in general doesn't seem like "normal" behavior in an NT person, one whom I don't think would really see me for who I truly am. Also, I am definitely hypersensitive to certain types of noises, which I have mentioned before. Also, as some of you may have noticed with my "Dear all CBers..." post, in which I attempted to halt the reconstruction of Kyngdom, I am very sensitive to even the slightest bit of dystopia.

submitted by Golden Lion Tamarin
(April 21, 2023 - 5:36 pm)

Less Quick Answer: It could be, but it depends on some things. "Tantrums" are pretty common in all small children, however there is something common amongst ND (particularly Autistic) people that can resemble a tantrum. They're called "Meltdowns" or "Autistic Meltdowns" and the difference is in the motivation. (And also the ages that it will commonly occur at) Tantrums are when the person is denied something that they want, and so they throw a bit of a fit about it. Usually if their demands are given into, the behavior/reaction will cease. These usually occur in young children, and as the child grows older they will grow less and less frequent. Meltdowns are often similar behaviors (kicking, crying, screaming, hitting things (or themselves. A lot of people hit their heads against things). And yes, sometimes breaking bedroom doors.) but the cause is extreme distress or overwhelm, and it is very difficult (if not impossible)  for the person melting down to cease even if a situation is remedied. These often continue happening much longer then children have tantrums, and if they do lessen as they grow older it's probably because the person learned how to either remove themselves from the situation so other people don't see it happen, the person is now living in a distress and overwhelm free emvirement and mental space (usually unlikely, as social and performance pressure only grow as you age) or (most commonly) the autistic person learns to push themselves into shutdowns instead of meltdowns. A shutdown is generally characterized by the same extreme distress, but instead of physically "freaking out" all of that goes inward and you, well, shut down. Oftentimes that means a temporary partial or complete loss of the ability to speak (like you're still having thoughts but you just cant push them out of your mouth, like all you can say is "no" or nothing at all. It's kind of hard to explain because it's such and odd feeling. Like there's this force field that you can't push out of or something. I'll see if I can find better description online. (@Admins: am I allowed to quote online sources?) 

 

I'll try to respond to the rest of your post later if I have anything to say, but I'm a bit out of juice at the moment. (And, as my use probably suggested, ND and NT are definitely fine and are standard abbreviations for the terms!)

 

captcha says "ntear" NT ear? I thinks it's catching on to the topic!  

submitted by An Autistic
(April 21, 2023 - 8:00 pm)

I think your captcha is saying N tear.

submitted by Golden Lion Tamarin
(April 24, 2023 - 4:18 pm)

I might be a highly sensitive person as well, and maybe autistic, I don't know...For some reason I'm physically uncomfortable with eye contact, which I've just started noticing, and I also have the weird trait of focusing better when more people are talking, because that way the noises kind of fizzle out into a buzz, but if one person is talking I might as well be sitting next to them. I'm really fidgety, and lately (maybe because the school spelling bee, a swim meet, testing season, and the culmination of the two fifth-grade writing projects are all on top of each other) I've noticed that my legs start feeling tight whenever I'm stressed out, and the smell of those pine tree things for cars is so annoying...

This is a really great thread! 

submitted by Seadragon
(April 20, 2023 - 6:03 pm)

Hey everyone, I just looked up ASD online AND took an online diagnostic (non formal) and I have a strong likelihood of autism, and I've just self diagnosed myself. However I'm not sure how to tell this to my parents bc I once mustered up the courage to tell my mom that I think I might have autism, and she just dismissed it. I don't know whether to just keep it in or to try to tell somebody, can someone please help?

As someone on CB has recently said, what you may find online is not always scientific fact. You CBers are so good at helping each other, so I hope someone will have a good suggestion for you. I believe you've said you're homeschooled, so you may not have a teacher who knows you to ask. But how about mentioning your concern to your doctor next time you go for a checkup? I trust my personal doctor with my concerns more than I trust internet sources.

Admin

submitted by Golden Lion Tamarin
(April 20, 2023 - 7:48 pm)
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