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Hitchhiker's Guide to
Chatterbox: Inkwell
Hitchhiker's Guide to
Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy, Third Edition
Ford is trapped in a dungeon, and he needs your help to research the known galaxy for the third edition of the Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy, otherwise he'll be fired from his job.....he would also be very pleased if you could work on getting him out of jail, too. The reasons why he was put in there in the first place we are unfortunately not allowed to disclose to the human race, but here are the few words that we can tell you: "cold tea", "jail", "Supreme Galactic Counsel", "Earth", "fairy cake", and "bad poetry". In fact, these are the only words we know on the subject ourselves, so there's no use pestering us for more information.
CaptainRead and John F.Q will post the story from Ford's point of view, and this will work as an RP, so please post a character, their appearance, backstory, species, etc., and any of their ideas for helping to get Ford out of jail. Eventually, we should decide on an idea, act on it, and then the Great Jail-Break shall begin!
By the way, you should, in every other post or so, include at the bottom some piece of random, made-up-by-you information for Ford to send to the HHGTTG. If there are not enough (at least 8 for now) tidbits of information by the time this thread reaches 15 posts, Ford gets fired, and the rescue mission fails because there is not enough motivation on Ford's part. Once this thread gets more than 15 posts, a new level of "enough info" will be set by CaptainRead or John F.Q.
We hope this is enough info for you; if anything confuses you, go drink some tea, and then ask us, and we will consult Eddie and possibly tell you the answer...
P.S. We don't know how many people on here have read/listened to these books/radio series, so there is every possibility that this will flop, but don't forget, we have an Infinite Improbability Drive on our side!
submitted by John F.Q.& Cptn.Reed, age undecided, TheHeartOfGold
(March 9, 2014 - 7:46 pm)
(March 9, 2014 - 7:46 pm)
Calm... Calm....
AAAAAGGGGH HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY!!!! AGGGGHHHH!!!!!
Phew. Okay. Now I can write properly. I've read the first three books and listened to a fair amount of the radio play, so I will do this! I will join you guys and your Improbablity Drive and help save Ford!
Here's a character to help Ford out:
Name: Allison
Age: 1,453 years old in human time
Speices: Robot
Apperance: He has blue led lights for eyes, and a rather box-y shaped silver-ish metal body that is quite rusty.
Home Planet: A small planet on the far side of the universe that used to be a thriving, wonderful place, but then underwent a terrible war and a horrid plague, and now no life forms live there at all. It is strange, though, that the planet has not been tryed to be refurnished, seeing how the founder of the Sirius Cypernetics Coorperation orginated there. Instead, it had become a junkyard for robots the Cybernetics Coorperation found unworkable or flawed. Allison is one of the newer robots to the planet, but he's been there long enough--just over 100 years.
Planet of Orgin: The Sirius Cybernetics Lab
Personality: Allison is resorcusful but has a hard time focusing, as the Sirius Cypernetics Coorperation was working on a "highly alert" robot when they built him. He became so aware of things, he had a hard time keeping up with what exactly was going on--too busy noticing how a small bug was sitting on a little green leaf, feasting (in a test room at the Coorperation, of course. There are no plants and bugs on the little planet of exile in which Allison lives on). When he puts his mind to it, and blocks out most of everything else, Allison can do almost anything.
Here's a bit for the guide:
ABANDONED PLANETS: THE TRUE POLLUTERS OF THE GALAXY
If you are every unfortunate enough, you may stumble upon an abandoned planet. Most likely, you won't even know why it was abandoned, but it's most likely because conditions are unsafe and you should leave as soon as you have a chance. Abandoned planets are clogging up the galaxy, as people are moving to more acomplished, located planets. People have been pondering for ages--how do we get rid of these planets? There was, of course, the great planet-building age, where manufacturing planets was a trend, but that is not the time we're in now, and those planets are causing problems--blocking out the sun on some innocent life forms and crashing into other planets, creating great space-explosions that people simply don't have time to admire anymore. Scientists are still working to find a method to destory these planets, as it is a lot harder to destory a planet than to create it, it seems. Right now, they have some advice for you. Stay out of the way of these planets if you come across one, and report them to the universe-wide government so that when a solution is found, that planet can be the first to go.
(March 10, 2014 - 6:33 pm)
Okay, just so you person-who-has-decided-to-check-this-RP-out don't get all "Ummmm... looks like this RP is kinda... dead. Lots of tops. Not a lot of actual story going on here... might as well go." Because this RP is.... alive! So jump in! Get your character started! Don't be shy, people will alert you about what's gonna happen! Don't be put off by all the tops on this page, this RP was just brought back from the dead!!!!!
Let's give Pied Piper and John FQ a hand folks! (Pied Piper is the new name for CaptainRead.) That just sounded so cheesey with the "Give them a hand folks!" thing. But they had to post lots of tops to bring this RP alive! So, you can join now! (Yes, I am joining.) Well, after those several cheesey sentences, you should be pretty well fed! (Sorry about the jokes. I've just wanted to try that one out for so long. But from now on, no cheesey jokse or even traces of cheesey jokes are aloud.)
Okay, if you knew all the stuff I told you in those sentences already, please don't be offended. Sorry if that's the case. :) Well, you can now post!!!!
Peace, Love, and Pies.
(November 9, 2015 - 8:53 pm)
Hooray! I knew we were not alone in this! TOPTOPTOP
I'm not sure if we will count topping as part of the first 15 posts, but if we do, here:
Super-intelligent colours:
You may have heard of the most common of these, a shade of blue, but researchers have discovered that there are actually several more kinds. There is, for instance, a shade of maroon that can speak matress, although whether it is saying anything intelligent with its voice is yet to be evaluated as the matresses refuse to acknowledge that it is the colour, and not the matress which bears the colour, that is talking. There is also a newly created planet that the natives call something like "Eee-Aoarth" where a pan-dimensional rainbow has occured, unfortunately, it soon stopped occuring, and the day after, a species called "doolfines" came back from apparent extinction, and a species called "meese" disappeared....
(March 11, 2014 - 7:53 am)
Admins, do you have any idea why this is titled weirdly (meaning: ... )? The last time it happened to me I think it was because the title was bold, but this isn't.....?????
Admin: Should be fixed! Remember: don't copy/paste from Word.
(March 11, 2014 - 7:55 am)
Oh, okay. Thanks!!! You Admins are awesome!!
(March 11, 2014 - 3:29 pm)
GARGBLAGFOOLGEFASDSHERLOCKSHERLOCKSADFABDAVIDTENNANTBLARGHDERDSFIO!!!!!!
This string of nonsense it the only way I can comunicate my excitement. I LOVE HITCHIKER'S GUIDE MARGHH VOGONS!!!!
Name: Retsam the Purple
Planet: a small, insignificant planet somewhere near the Sirius Cybernetics Corperation's complaints department known as Voog
Spesies: Voogite
Appearence: tall purple bald huminoid with a small mauve farmer mustace under his nose. Wears a green suit all the time with a matching pancake-shaped knitted hat.
Personality: Likes to randomly spout facts of questinable accuracy. Slightly arrogant. Enjoys knitting, opera, and sueing the Sirius Cybernetics Corperation.
And now for an entry to the Guide!
The Planet of the Hats
The Planet of the Hats is a mysterious place. It is inhabited by a race of strange mystics who belive that the universe is really a giant hat box and that all the planets are hats. These mystics woship the Great Hat Maker and sacrifice materials for hat making to him every day. Also on this planet are the great Hat Trees. These strange sentient plants's fruits are ornate hats of various forms. The planet is open to tourists on every day, except holy days.
(March 11, 2014 - 6:39 pm)
We'll start writing now, because we don't know who else will want to do this, and if anyone wants to jump in, they can. Your characters will start out on a maroon matress called Larry (John F.Q. will probably write a bit from his view) that has picked them up and told them about Ford, and who, unbenownst to itself and others, has been imbedded with an Infinite Improbability Drive. You are equipped with a tangerine-coloured bag that holds a towel, a tea cosy, a top hat, an excess of other things starting with the letter T, and a copy of the Guide to look things up with and communicate with Ford. Here is his most recent message:
SAVE ME! You should get this message on your electronic copy of the Guide because I have asked Mellifluous (the super-intelligent shade of maroon covering Larry the matress, who should have picked you up by now) to wire it into the GWI (Galactic Wide Internet) so we can communicate. Fortunately, the jail I've been put in is the newfangled kind that believes that "kindess to the prisoners will make them good", so I can keep my copy of the Guide. The only problem with this is that the Vogons in the cell across from mine are allowed to read poetry. PLEASE HELP ME! By the way, thank you for the entries for the Guide, the Editor doesn't know yet that I'm in jail...he would've fired me by now if he did. OH HELP!!!! HELP!!!
mahed fogusudfy bevimn qweiuruk vigafovec vonim nemzan xabcody fedifn
*This is an automated message from the Guide, these "words" at the end of this letter appear to be Vogon poetry written down from what the writer was hearing. Please do not recite aloud, your eardrums will thank you.*
(March 13, 2014 - 2:43 pm)
Toppity????
(March 18, 2014 - 8:58 am)
TOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOP v TOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOP v v v vvvvTOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOPvTOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOPTOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOPTOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOPTOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOPTOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOPTOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOPvvvvvTOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOPTOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOPvvvvTOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOPvTOP TOP TOP TOP TOP TOPvvv
(March 25, 2014 - 12:06 pm)
TOPTOPTOP! Can we get this to live again?
(November 4, 2014 - 11:48 am)
LIVE, little thread!
(November 4, 2014 - 11:50 am)
TOPTOPTOP!!! PLEASE TOP!!!
(November 4, 2014 - 4:02 pm)
A Star Wars Misconception
There is actually such a thing as a TIE, or Twin Ion Engine, ship. The misconception is that, while TIE fighters are portrayed in Star Wars as small, agile combat ships with a very short range, they are, in reality, trading ships almost exclusively. A twin ion engine works by firing two constant streams of charged atoms, usually argon, from the rear of the ship. More conventional engines, such as spatial claudicators or plasma pseudocombustors, are used to escape from a planet's gravity, and later to break orbit. The incredibly thin ion stream and the rules of physics in microgravity mean that the ship moves about as fast as a Plutonian iceworm at first, then can accelerate over a period of days to almost incalculable speeds. A real TIE ship's range is very long indeed, but it is one of the most clumsy types of propulsion systems, being all but useless for short distances. TIE ships are mostly used for interstellar transport, of goods or (less often) of people.
Koda says revr. Do you want a plasma pseudocombustor engine, Koda?
(November 5, 2014 - 8:47 pm)
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(September 21, 2015 - 7:16 am)
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(September 21, 2015 - 7:18 am)