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Poems ! 
Poems !
Here is one I'd like critiquing on.
Power
Courses through my veins
Fire, ice, electric,
unstoppable.
I can't halt it.
It is fire, and
I am BURNING
Clarity like ice
Cold calculation
invincible
Bud of flame, ever.
egg of ice, always
child of lightning
everlasting, only one.
submitted by Indigo
(December 2, 2014 - 11:24 pm)
(December 2, 2014 - 11:24 pm)
Cool! Here's a poem I wrote;
Waves crash on the sand
like they're reaching out to grab my hand
pull me underwater
the newest mermaid daughter
cross my fingers, hold on tight
dissapear within the night
lights are flashing but I can't see
make a wish or 2 or 3
I wish and I wish to go back home
but when I wake up I'm all alone
(December 3, 2014 - 7:01 pm)
Great poem!
(December 10, 2014 - 9:57 am)
Wow, I really like that one, Sav!
(January 12, 2015 - 9:31 pm)
(December 9, 2014 - 10:52 pm)
To all poets who want to get their work out there:
research Rattle's Young Poet's Anthology
then research Stone Soup Magazine.
If you look at the online 2014 RYPA, look for a poem by Abigail c...
Good luck submitting!
(December 10, 2014 - 9:33 am)
Drip, drop,
Hear the droplets plop,
Slowly, slowly,
You drop lowly,
Water, water, all around,
Not to drink, but for the sound,
Tick, tock,
Sound of the clock,
The rhythm of the clock,
The rhythm of the drops,
Water, Time, so alike,
Yet not, it's like a strike.
Drowning Treasure:
I gasp for a breath,
I can not breathe,
Water, water surrounding me,
I breath it in,
I can not stop,
I feel it going into my, lungs, limbs,
My heart feels ready to pop,
I see the fins
Of the shark,
I'm drowning, drowning,
Everything goes dark,
My heart is frowning upon the deep blue nothingness,
I see the Treasure sitting there,
I sink in awe and airlessness,
I dearly want air,
I see my life before my eyes,
Rushing, rushing, rushing by,
I hear the cries,
I can't believe I hear my cry,
Sinking, sinking to the depth,
Growing darker darker, all the time,
I cant wait for the aftermath,
I hear the chime,
Lying in my bed,
I open my eyes,
I saw my life ahead,
Then I realize,
It was a dream!
May I have some critique, please?
(December 10, 2014 - 10:11 am)
You may want to open up the line breaks a little more in the second one. You can experiment with line breaks if you feel the need to "open up." This just means you work with the line breaks a bit. You could have it choppy or smooth, or just keep it the way it is!
A suggestion: if you do this and have trouble with the rhymes, it's fine if you don't rework the rhymes. It can rhyme, or not! You are the artist!
I hope that helped!
(January 9, 2015 - 8:15 am)
Concrete Callous
You lie there
sitting on the opposite side.
Your mouth is as
dry as a
desert in the
afternoon.
Burning up with anger
ready to strike.
Hard as a rock.
Are you stuck in your misery?
Shoulders shaking
but it's not even time.
Concrete callous
caved in away
from the light
frozen.
I will
break
you
open.
I had always been called a poem master. Is it good? I know it's dramatic, but I like that style.
(December 10, 2014 - 4:30 pm)
Is this an imagination poem?
It is really good! I just had trouble trying to see what it was about.
I write imagination type poems all the time!! They are just so hard to title...
I think it was really awesome, but how do 'frozen' and 'Break you open' with the misery and anger?
Just curious.
Keep your title, poem master! This is a work of art!
(January 12, 2015 - 11:39 am)
Great poem, Indigo!
(cough*iceispartofthewaterelementandelectricityandfirearepartofthefireelement*cough)
(December 10, 2014 - 4:52 pm)
I have two poems and they are just for fun.
The Sunflower
Bending, twisting its face towards the sun
The sun flower
Yellow and bright, full of delight
The sunflower
Green and yellow a pleasant fellow
the sunflower
Reaching out with yellow hands
Touching the rain as it lands
The sunflower
and
The Fish
I wish for a fish that I could cach
and then for a candle and a lighted match
So I could eat and eat and eat
Oh Boy what a delectable treat
(December 10, 2014 - 6:23 pm)
Here's one I tried, recently. . .
Do you
Remember?
Do you remember
laughing and running and shouting
With your cousins
and siblings
In the fresh spring
air
And the warm April
sun?
Do you remember
hiding in delight
Watching, listening,
smiling
Trying not to laugh
And give yourself
away
As a kid went
calling
In a game of hide
and seek.
Do you remember
sitting at a kitchen table
Watching the
snowflakes fall
Chattering about the
snowman and forts you'll build
While sipping great
mugs of hot chocolate
And nibbling away at
Mother's cookies,
Still warm from the
oven.
Do you remember the
time
That you watched the
still lake with your father,
Waiting for the
poles in your hands
To jerk and sway
With a fish on the
other end,
As your father made
silly faces
At the fish that you
couldn't see
For being so slow?
Do you remember the
wonderful times
That you smiled
And got a smile
back?
That you laughed
And someone laughed
along?
Do you remember?
I do.
And I smile at my
memory.
At my innocent
childhood,
And at the time
When I was truly
free.
(December 10, 2014 - 6:49 pm)
Don't drown,
my round,
little ball,
that ralls,
-I mean rolls,
After moles.
(But that doesn't really matter)
You mean,
little seen,
ball of mine,
who wants to resign,
into the blue,
of moo-moos.
Actually, cows don't own,
Or even mown, (Past tense, my mistake)
the sea...
But you know me.
Oh pretty please,
my almost cheese,
ball of mine,
would you,
come back on the sand,
back on the land,
to play with me?
(December 10, 2014 - 8:12 pm)
Here's one I wrote today:
My magic was focused
on a small girl’s weak mind
her resistance was feeble
far too willing and kind
Eyelashes beaded with bittersweet tears
she ran through the forest
towards the one that she feared
I called her my servant
and she bowed to me low
sobbing for mercy
that I wouldn’t show
She did all my bidding
with many a tear
I trusted her greatly
over the years
Then one day she strayed
from under my sight
I never felt anger
like I did on that night
My one faithful servant
had run from my rule
like the wind in the valley
stinging and cool
I searched for her then
I searched high and low
I searched for my servant
Through mountains and snow
I found her again
strong as the trees
in the luscious green forest
where she’d hidden from me.
She talked to me then
she told me her thoughts
and feelings so strong
that this was the place where she really belonged.
I never took another by force
I took only willing
and faithful
from that moment forth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's about an evil sorcerer person... so yah. Do you like it???
(December 10, 2014 - 8:28 pm)
Admin, could you write a poem? (You don't have to, I just haven't seen your writing before. I'm sure it's AMAZING, so that's why I asked.)
A lot of you are better writers than I am. And I should spend my time here posting comments and writings from all of you.
Admin
(December 10, 2014 - 8:29 pm)