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Story Den~~~
Chatterbox: Inkwell
Story Den~~~
Story Den
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This is a place -a subsection of the Inkwell, if you will- where CBers write, compare, contrast, compliment, and criticize short (there's no word limit, but if the stories were 500 words or less, that would be good) stories. Write of treachery, of fantasy, of mystery, of Fandom, of magic..... The possibilities are endless! Just one rule: Unless permission is given by their author, all stories are copyrighted.
I'll start.
Wings
The rain fell in torrents, drenching his fur..... Someone wailed, screaming, "Juni!!" A dense fog fell, shrouding the plain, hiding everything..... His mother cried for him again, but he couldn't see her, couldn't reach her- he was all alone now.....
Juniper woke up, gasping. The dream seemed so vivid, almost like that horrible scene was happening again. He blinked, his brilliant cyan eyes flashing. The rain was gone, had been gone for countless moons now. He stood up as much as he could in the cramped tree hollow, black pelt caked with dirt from the hollow's earthen floor. He cautiously stepped out, shaking earth from his fur and glancing around. The desert plain was quiet as the first rays of dawn crept up the terrain. The whole world seemed to be holding its breath as the sun rose, beautiful and brilliant, filling the sky with fire. An eagle's cry broke the silence and the plain came to life. The eagles soared high above, their wings spread wide, silhouetted against the dawn.
He sighed, thick tail swishing, and tore his eyes away from the eagles. How he longed to soar with them, effortlessly gliding over everything. He would give nearly anything to be a bird rather than the panther that he was. He closed his eyes, imagining the strong wings of an eagle growing from his back, then flapping them, and being carried into the sky...... He jerked himself out of his daydream. He wasn't going to get anything accomplished by standing around waiting for a miracle.
Juniper padded away from the plain after a successful hunt. He could see the border between the plain and the forest now, and he loped eagerly toward it. He purred in the shade of the trees, welcoming and cool on his black fur. It was dark. Too dark. Almost as if..... Juniper shook the thought away. That wouldn't happen again. Never.
And then came the rain. It started as a drizzle, dripping through the forest canopy, but eventually picked up force. Eyes wide, Juniper searched for an escape. He ran aimlessly, trying to find his way, but stumbled over something on the forest floor and collapsed.
Juniper was in a land full of light. A soft voice beckoned to him, lulling him.... "Juni, come here, sweet cub. I have missed you." He stumbled toward the voice, but found he couldn't see. "Where are you?" he wailed. "Why am I always alone?" The voice purred, "It's alright. I'm here, always here. Come to me now, Juniper. I can give you anything you ever wanted." Juniper imagined wings again, and how glorious it would be.... But something wasn't right. The voice was... wrong, somehow. Juniper flattened his ears, refusing to take another step. He gritted his teeth, and yowled, "NEVER!!"
Juniper was in the dark forest and the rain had stopped. The voice's words echoed in his mind... "I can give you anything you ever wanted." But that chance was gone now. Juni knew he'd never fly, would never have wings.... But he was alive.
~~~
Sorry. That story was awful. I can't really think of anything better right now, however. Oh well! Enjoy the thread.
submitted by Scylla
(April 9, 2016 - 11:43 am)
(April 9, 2016 - 11:43 am)
The cat speaks! That was a cool story with a nice twist. Except for the "attentino" span.
(April 13, 2016 - 4:18 pm)
I really love writing stories!
p.s. Katydid, your story was good!
Nettle slid through the forest, enjoying the warm sunlight on his pelt. Suddenly, the ground opened up below him and Nettle was falling. Cats wailed his name. "Nettle! Help us!" they cried. But Nettle continued to fall towards the gaping darkness. He couldn't help it. Claws flashed around him, snagging on his fur. Nettle flung open his jaws in a silent scream.
Nettle woke with a jolt, hitting his head on the ceiling of the log. "Ouch!" he yowled, annoyed. Outside, warm sunlight filtered down through the canopy. Nettle crept out of his log, senses sharp. Rustle, rustle. A vole popped out of a clump of ferns. It sniffed the carpet of dead leaves, looking for food. Nettle crouched low. He set his paws down as lightly as falling snow. The vole remained unaware of the hunter stalking it.
Nettle leapt. His claws sunk into the vole's flesh, and the vole sheiked in terror. Nettle quickly ended the vole's scream with a bite to the neck. "Ha," he muttered triumphantly. Nettle sunk his teeth into his catch. The vole was juicy and delicious. Just right for autumn. Nettle thought. As he finished up his meal, Nettle pricked his ears. Was that rustling he heard?
Suddenly, someone barreled into him. Nettle screeched in surprise, unable to see his attacker. He was flipped onto his back, exposing his soft belly, but now Nettle could see his foe. She was a mottled gray she-cat with nasty scars running through her fur. Nettle kicked her off with his powerful hind legs. The she-cat landed with a thump. Nettle circled his enemy, hissing and spitting. The she-cat scrabbled to her paws, amber eyes blazing.
"Who are you?" Nettle demanded. "None of your business!" his attacker spat. She jumped. Nettle dodged her, and the she-cat landed with a tumble. While his enemy regained her footing, Nettle took the chance and leapt. He slammed into the she-cat, and she cried out in pain. Nettle flipped her onto her back, pinning her down. "Who are you and why are you attacking me?" he inquired hostilely. The she-cat writhed and squirmed. "I'm Shadow," she finally answered. "Now get off of me!" Nettle raised his paws off of Shadow, then sat on his hanches. He lapped at the scatches Shadow had delivered. "Why did you attack me?" Nettle asked between licks. Shadow got to her paws and sat down. "You just barged into my territory like you owned it!" she cried, clearly not hiding her anger. Oh, thought Nettle. That's what those weird scents were. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't know this was your territory. It's quite large." Shadow narrowed her eyes. "Apology not accepted." she growled. Nettle sighed. How was he going to get this cat to trust him?
to be continued...
(April 13, 2016 - 7:47 pm)
Shadow studied the strange cat. He seemed friendly, but then again, he hadn't told her his name. Shadow knew she could trust him, but she didn't want to admit it. That wasn't the kind of thing she would do. She continued to study him as he licked his wounds. He looked up at her, his green eyes sparkling with kindness. Ugh, Shadow thought. I hate those kinds of cats.
Suddenly, the intruder dashed into a bush, and returned a few moments later with a mouse in his jaws. "Want it?" he inquired. Shadow's stomach growled. She hesitated for a second, then spat, "Fine." The cat laid it at her paws. As she chewed at the mouse, Shadow asked, "What's your name?" The brown tabby answered right away. "Nettle." he said. Shadow eyed him suspiciously, then stopped herself. Wait, why am I eyeing him for no good reason when I know I can trust him? she wondered. Nonsense, growled another voice. You can't trust anyone. Not even this sappy cat. But still, a shadow of doubt haunted her.
Later, when darkness had fell, Shadow watched as Nettle crept into the old log. That's a good sleeping place. she observed. Why didn't I think of that? She crawled into the clump of ferns she usally slept in. As Shadow tried to get confratable, confusing thoughts raced around her head. I know I can trust him, but can I? He seems so nice. I should trust him. Should I?
"Wake up," whispered a voice. Shadow woke up. Nettle was poking his head inside Shadow's fern cluster. "Go away!" she snapped. "I can wake myself up!" Nettle's face fell. "Okay," he mumbled, leaving Shadow's den. Did I hurt his feelings? she wondered. Stop thinking those thoughts! demanded the other voice. Shadow still felt guilty. She shook off the negative feelings as she crept out of her den. Letting the dappled sunlight warm her pelt, Shadow stretched.
to be continued...
(April 18, 2016 - 6:40 pm)
Nettle watched as Shadow crept into the bushes to hunt. He had grown fond of the she-cat, but he wasn't sure she felt the same way about him. Well, at least she has the right idea. Nettle thought as he slid into the bushes.
Opening his jaws, Nettle looked around for any sings of prey. Suddenly, he spotted a squirrel nibbling on an acorn at the base of an oak. Nettle dropped into a hunter's crouch, setting his paws down lightly, he stalked the squirrel. When he was close enough, Nettle jumped. The squirrel tried to scramble up the tree, but it was to late. Nettle killed the creature with a bite to the neck. Picking up his catch, he headed back to the clearing where he met Shadow. Shadow. Nettle thought. She seems so aggressive. I wonder why.
When he arrived back at the clearing, Nettle saw Shadow munching on a mouse. He settled down next to her, and to his surprise, Shadow didn't move a muscle. "How was hunting?" she asked Nettle causally. "Great." he mumbled over a mouthful of squirrel. "How was hunting for you?" Shadow shrugged. "Good, I guess." she answered, finishing off the last of her mouse. She stood up and stretched, then sat down to groom. Nettle swiftly ate the remains of his meal and studied Shadow. The ugly scars that ran like spiderwebs across her fur didn't mask her elegance and beauty. Nettle sighed. I think I'm in love. he thought.
As it grew darker, Nettle watched as Shadow slunk into her den. He wished he could muster up the courage to ask her if she wanted to share a den. That fern den must be drafty. he observed. Nettle slid into the hollowed out log he called his den and made himself comfortable amongst the rotting wood and decaying leaves. He fell into a deep sleep.
to be continued...
(April 20, 2016 - 5:21 pm)
i will post one later
(April 13, 2016 - 11:15 am)
I'm going to do one of those "How has my writing progressed since coming on CB" things. (Thanks, Scylla!)
From the Chatterbox City RP, back in October:
-----
What am I doing? A thought flashes in my mind as brightly as lighning and I freeze.
What's right. A voice in my head murmurs softly, with a faint breath of menace.
My friends! I struggle, but the voice overtakes my brain again, this time harsher and quickly.
We are your friends! Chatterbox must be destroyed. You will stand beside us.
I- I pause, fighting, but...
YOU WILL STAND BESIDE US.
Yes... I creep past the battle. Vaugely I see the CBers fighting things, but my mind does not register. One thought hammers into my brain, even as I flinch away, with every beat I begin to believe. Destroy the Admins. Destroy the Admins. Destroy...
-----
From my CB story, in January:
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Arriving at the Arts center, they all assembled around the tables. The teacher began to take roll.
"Joan!"
"Here," Joan said, doodling on a small scrap of paper.
"Sydney!"
"Present!" Sydney waved her hand in the air.
"...Feather?" The teacher said, a little bit questioningly.
"Yes, I am present, ma'am," Feather said loftily.
"Shifting Sands..." The teacher paused a moment before reading.
"HERE!" Shifting said boredly.
The teacher looked surprised, peering in closer at the paper to make sure she wasn't hallucinating.
"Somebody."
"Here," Somebody said.
"St. Owl."
"Present."
"Jarvis?"
"Right here!"
"Shadow."
"Here in physicality, perhaps not in mentality."
"Puck!"
There was a silence. Everyone waited, expecting that Puck was hiding or something to play a joke on the teacher. The silence lengthened. The girls looked around the room.
"Absent?" The teacher asked, unsure.
"She was here a minute ago!" Shadow Dragon insisted. "Or... at least... five minutes ago..."
"Actually, the last time I saw her was during the hike," Feather said. "EVERYONE SEARCH THE AREA!" The campers scrambled around, peeking under tables.
"Missing camper alert!" the teacher called into a walkie-talkie. "Code Purple!"
Meanwhile, Puck was not missing. She knew exactly where she was. It really did help, she mused, that she had taken the hike first. She knew the trail by this point. Glancing among the campers, she slipped in at the back. No one noticed. They were watching the instructor's mustache wiggle.
Correction: No one that could cause Puck trouble noticed. Danie, sitting in puzzlement on her new bed, watched Puck as they began to walk. What was she doing?
"What plant is this?" Hotairballoon asked, plucking an interesting looking stalk and turning it over in his palm.
"Poison oak," the instructor said lightly.
"AAAAAAAAAAA!" Hotairballoon screamed, dropping it. "I TOUCHED POISON OAK!"
"Don't worry," Spyro said sweetly. "It might not hurt TOO much, and it might not swell so much that it looks like a beach ball."
"WAAAAGH!" was all that Hotairballoon replied.
Spyro grinned. Maybe camp WAS a bit fun after all.
Puck watched Dev. He was as cool as a cumcumber, smug as a cat as he walked, hands in his pockets, so full of himself. She needed to correct that, badly. She watched as the rest of the campers turned around the corner, Hotairballoon still moaning. Reaching into her backpack, she pulled out a pair of gloves. Gingerly, she picked up the stalk. Tiptoe. Tiptoe. She crept up behind Dev, who was in the back of the group. Thankfully, his shirt was tucked in. Puck pulled back is collar, and in one fluid motion, dropped in the poison oak.
Dev glanced back, but nobody was there. Puck had run to the bathrooms to shake off the gloves into the trash can—And then washed her hands three times. She then climbed into the window of Dev's cabin, tossed his stuff in the shower and turned it on, applied whoopie cushions to all the chairs, and short-sheeted his bed.
(April 13, 2016 - 7:26 pm)
Nettle's story will be continued soon!
P.s. I ABSOLUTELY-TOOTLY love writing stories, long and short alike!
(April 14, 2016 - 6:59 am)
Top and good! You used "Nettle" a bit too much, perhaps you could've used "the cat" or "he?"
(April 15, 2016 - 9:25 am)
Thanks! I'll keep that in mind for next time.
p.s. My CAPTCHA needs a name. I naming it Spirit-rain.
p.p.s. Spirit-rain says iiwh. Does it think my stories are bad?
(April 15, 2016 - 6:00 pm)
@Amber-- On your first story-- Great story! The magically described traditional
horror of the first part coupled with the hilarious twist ending made me laugh
out loud :D! As it is so brief, there isn't very much room for improvement. The
main thing I would suggest changing would be in the last paragraph making it a
little bit clearer about who is saying/doing what. I had to go a little bit out
of my way to figure that part out ;). Sorry I didn't get a chance to read your second one.
@Scylla-- If you really dislike your story so much, couldn't you get the Admins to edit it out of your post? PS: It's ok; sometimes it's hard to control your moods ;)
(April 15, 2016 - 9:44 am)
Beep beep. Beep beep.
Ella slammed her paw down on the snooze button. She rolled out of her bed, blinking groggily. Landing on the floor with a thump, Ella stumbled over to her dresser. She pulled open the doors to view her outfit options. Today was her first day of sixth grade, and Ella wanted to look her best. Twitching her tail, she grabbed a navy t-shirt and a gray cardigan. Ella closed the dresser doors and yanked open the drawer. She fished out a pair of blue leggings and shut the drawer. Ella slipped off her nightgown and slipped on the t-shirt.
Knock, knock. "Yes?" Ella called, half dressed. Her bedroom door opened a crack. Her mother's beady eyes and pink snout appeared. "Time for breakfast, sweetie," her mother said. Ella quickly finished getting dressed and scampered out of her room. Waiting for her at the dining room table was a platter full of toast and assorted fruit. Sitting beside her plate was a glass of orange juice. Sam, her older brother, was already sitting in his seat.
Ella sat down. As she started nibbling on a strawberry, she heard whining followed by an angry voice. "But I don't wanna get up," complained Ella's little sister Katrina. "You need to go to school," growled her mother sternly. "But why?" The bickering pair appeared through the doorway, Katrina trying to pull away from her mother sleepily. Ella watched as her mother plopped her sister in her chair. Katie, Katrina's twin, poked her snout through the doorway. She grumbled something under her breath as she sat down in her seat. Ella resumed eating as she watched the battle between her mother and sister continued.
When Ella finished eating, she hopped out of her chair and scurried to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She stood on her tiptoes on the stool to look at her reflection as she brushed. When she was done, Ella raced to the door. "Wait!" called her father, hurrying over. He reached Ella in a matter of seconds, as most rodents are speedy. "Goodbye," he said as he kissed her goodbye. "Bye, dad." Ella opened the door and scampered over to Lindsay, who was waiting for her. Ella's father waved goodbye as the school bus screeched to a halt in front of their house.
Ella and Lindsay had been best friends ever since second grade. Being different species, Ella a rat and Lindsay a wolf, caused their parents to worry at first, but soon they allowed their children to be friends. That was the happiest day for the girls, as they couldn't bear being apart.
Ella hopped onto the bus, as did Lindsay. They plopped onto their favorite seats, Lindsay by the window and Ella by the aisle. While Ella chatted with some of her other friends about books, Lindsay doodled quietly in her sketchbook. The ride to school took time, and the roads were bumpy, so Lindsay soon got carsick. "I don't feel good..." she groaned to Ella. "Then look out the window," Ella advised, continuing her argument about which character was better.
After a long and sickening ride, the children finally arrived at school. "That was some ride," Ella said to Lindsay, who was feeling better. "Yeah. Remember when Aidan threw up?" The two friends laughed at the memory. "Uh-huh. The person sitting next to him was covered in barf!" Ella giggled. "Poor Maggie." Lindsay sighed, looking at an unhappy cat complaining about the stains on her dress.
The two friends walked through the school doorway, waving goodbye because they had different homeroom teachers. Ella found her locker, opened it, stuffed her things inside, then closed and went to her classroom. Inside was her teacher and several other students. The teacher, Mr. McKinder, told Ella where to sit. She sat next to Cecilia, an old friend. "Good morning students," Mr. McKinder told his class. "Today we will be learning about biology." As her teacher yammered on, Ella felt drowsy. She lay her head on her desk, and slowly fell asleep.
...
When Ella woke up, she found herself in darkness. When she groped out a hand, she felt nothing, and when she tried to speak, nothing came out. Ella felt as if she were floating. Suddenly, she saw a flash of light. It was small but it was definitely there. Ella swam towards it. It felt like she paddled for years, but she finally reached the light. It was a glowing orb, and when Ella looked closer, she saw herself sleeping at her desk. That's me! she thought. Ella reached out to touch the globe, and when she did, a searing pain ripped through her, and everything went dark.
(April 15, 2016 - 5:55 pm)
Can someone plz type a story? I don't want the thread to die.
p.s. Spirit-rain says inzg. Like Laura Ingalls-Wilder?
(April 15, 2016 - 7:19 pm)
Okay. I don't have a story, but I have an idea for one. (Don't judge, it's kind of weird)
So... There's these 5 kids, and their last names all start with A.
Elizabeth(Liz) Abrams- She's Jewish, and really religious. She swims for a team and used to play soccer.
Cara Adkins- She's Half Navajo, Half English, and loves art. She doesn't play any sports.
Duncan Anderson- He's the nerd of the class. He's African American and doesn't play any sports.
Mateo(Matt) Alvarado- He kind of the class clown, slacker type. He used to live in Mexico but he moved. He runs cross country and track.
Sam Ashworth- He's as normal as you can get. He plays baseball and basketball, which he's good at, but he isn't the star.
So, the kids have to sit together because their teacher did seating arragements by last name(alphabetically). They end up becoming good friends. Then, Cara's mom goes missing, and they have to try to find her.
Setting: A medium sized town(about 8,000-10,000 people) in Arizona.
That's just a basic outline. I might post more later, if I decide to stick with it.
(April 16, 2016 - 7:27 am)
I'm sorry to annoy you by keeping on asking, but…
Writing tips? When?
(April 16, 2016 - 8:19 am)
Yeah, I should probably get around to that.
So basically, do everything Shoshannah said to me on the first page, just adjusted to fit your characters.
And more advanced....
Don't put too much description, but some is good. And make sure that your descriptions aren't one long sentence, like the below:
Hwa gazed at Rakshasa. The lady was tall, with long violet hair, lacerated with black streaks, in a loose braid; skin so pale that it looked unhealthy; commanding, searing purple eyes; thick black lashes; and black armor closely fitting her slim figure; a scythe grasped loosely in one hand.
That's a lot to take in. It's very confusing and disorienting, also amateurish. Here's what it should look like:
Hwa gazed at Rakshasa. The lady was tall and slim, with long violet hair in a loose braid. [The streaks bit is unnecessary for now, maybe write it in later] Her skin was so pale that it looked unhealthy and her cruel violet eyes glared commandingly at Hwa. [The lashes are unnecessary as well, write them in later: "Rakshasa batted her thick black lashes"] She wore close-fitting black armor and loosley grasped a scythe.
There. Much longer, but much better. Next tip: Try to have parallel structure. Here's an example of NOT parallel structuer:
Hwa mumbled, "I like to draw, and writing, and to create."
So dissonant. Parallel structure is the following:
Hwa mumbled, "I like to draw, to write, and to create." [Without italics, of course. They're just there for educational purposes.]
It could also be:
Hwa mumbled, "I like drawing, writing, and creating." [Again about the italics.]
Next tip: Try to have intelligent vocabulary. I think that's enough for now, I'll provide an example for vocabulary soon if you need it.
Admins, sorry I've written so much today. It can't be easy for you.
(April 16, 2016 - 10:04 pm)