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Puns!
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Puns!
Puns!
It's about time we got some more posts here on Inkwell. I usually avoid making threads. (dunno why) But in a crises, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do (insert song).
So... puns. They are either genius, or horrible, and you could suffer from an overdose, but they are fun to make. Used for comedic relief, as the foundation for an annoying side character, or just for pun(<---see, funny), puns are an important literary device, like Allegories, Allusions, and the caps lock key. Many people go to punistries and train in the art of the pun, at which I am a failure. If my punnyness was a picture, it would be a stick figure that people walk by thinking, "look at that piece of abstract art. You know if I turn my head and squint, it looks like a chimpanzee riding on a Segway" Cakewrecks has some funny puns.
My pun, which I think I'll write a story about I love it so much: Matches on strike. teehee. It's funny, see.
yeah... your turn.
P.S. The whole time I was writing this post, I tried to fit in a pun here and there but to no avail. Anyone care to rewrite my post and make it punful?
submitted by Adina
(December 28, 2009 - 9:55 pm)
(December 28, 2009 - 9:55 pm)
Oh, I'm not good at puns either, for the most part, but they are quite fun. Um... *thinks* Well, actually, the other day we were setting the table, and my dad had two plates, and he started dancing and was like "Look! I'm doing a plate dance!" And I said, "Just make sure you're not doing a *breakdance*."
Y'see? Like matches on strike. ;) Clever. ;)
(December 29, 2009 - 9:52 am)
Oh, hello there. Um, why did the top cross the road? To get to the other side. budum bum.
(December 29, 2009 - 3:07 pm)
Here's one from my good ol' friend Terry Pratchett.
On page 3 of Hogfather he says "... because in Mrs. Gaiter's book, wich was a rather short book with big handwriting, the upper crust wasn't supposed to work. It was supposed to loaf around." teehee. Made me smile.
So did yours Mary Liz
(December 30, 2009 - 5:21 pm)
Of course, Terry Pratchett... :) I really should read one of his books...
And that's a good one. :)
(December 31, 2009 - 11:29 am)
These always make me laugh. Good thread, Adina.
My English teacher was trying to teach us what these were. Her example was, "Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? He's all right now."
(December 31, 2009 - 12:43 pm)
My video chemistry teacher is left-handed. He refers to left-handed-ers as "those of us in our right minds." Right brain, left hand. . . . Yes, I groan too.
Cheers,
lavendershy
(December 31, 2009 - 7:57 pm)
Yes. Yes you should.
Try... Guards! Guards!, Hogfather, Going Postal, or Making Money; they're some of the best. If you're looking to read them in order, start with Guards! Guards! anyway, as it's the "first" in the sub series of Watch books, and it's where, I think, Pratchett really hit his stride. And it has Vetinari in it.
(December 31, 2009 - 5:23 pm)
All right, thanks. I'll get those from the library as soon as I finish Sarah Palin's autobiography... *waits for rotten fruit to be thrown* ...which I am enjoying. *more rotten fruit*
(January 1, 2010 - 7:03 pm)
Sarah Palin's biography? Awsome!
(January 2, 2010 - 10:00 am)
Good puns everybody! I think I might add one...
A dog walks in a diner and asks the people at the front 4 a soda. They call the manager, and he comes out and tells the dog, "We do not serve dogs," so the dog walks out. The same thing happens the next day. The day after that the manager is waiting for the dog. When the dog asks for a soda, he replies, "If you ask me again I will nail your feet to the floor." The next day the dog walks into the diner and asks if they have any nails. When the manager answers no, he promptly replies, "Do you have any soda?"
(December 31, 2009 - 4:50 pm)
1. The horrifically bad puns in DragonFable are win. Most notably their list of things not to say in the presence of a zombie: "That is just jaw dropping" "Something evil is afoot" "Keep a stiff upper lip" "Use a little elbow grease" "...and that is how you get ahead" "That guy is a spineless coward" "Need a hand", etc.
2. Terry Pratchett is good at these. Examples:
Djelibeybi and Hersheba. Took me the entire book to figure them out, and then I felt stupid. (say them out loud, and think of candy)
In Jingo, when Carrot question a gnoll with plants growing on it. Win. (You know, as in "grassy knoll" For the record, the phrase "grassy gnoll" was never used)
Gilt's parrot from Going Postal screaming "Twelve and a half percent!". For those of you who aren't good with percentages, that's 1/8, or pieces of eight.
"It was gilt by association" from Night Watch.
"...Just before I came out, a huge and very expensive piece of glassware broke into splinters!" "Marry, 'twas a sharp retort."
LET'S GO SLEIGH THEM. (and then he points it out to Albert and makes it funny.)
(December 31, 2009 - 5:20 pm)
Heehee. I still don't get hersheba. I feel so stupid. Wait. Terry is British right? *says hersheba in a British accent* oh.
What's a knoll?
A knoll is a small round hill.
Old Cricket
(January 2, 2010 - 9:58 am)
Thanks Old Cricket! it all makes sense now!
(January 2, 2010 - 2:03 pm)
I love puns. I love bad puns, even. A pun at maturity is fully groan. Ha ha ha. Okay, here's mine: Mahatama Ghandi. He became known as a super-calloused-fragile-mystic-plagued-with-halitosis. I like that one a lot. :-) Also, did you hear about the glass blower who inhaled? He got a pane in his stomach.
Great puns, ZNZ!
Cricket
(January 1, 2010 - 12:06 pm)
Thanks, Cricket! :)
You're welcome. We all love to laugh!
(January 2, 2010 - 9:13 am)