So, I've got

Chatterbox: Inkwell

So, I've got

So, I've got these sentences in my notebook that I really didn't know what to do with, so I thought I'd post them on here and see what you people make of them. Here they are:

If Emily Augusta Osborne had not moved into the house across the street, Laura would never had discovered what she did, and nothing would ever have changed.

 

It was a Monday, June 21st, and I was doing the supper dishes when the door blew open without warning and into my life walked the last girl I'd have expected.

 

The only reason I'm writing this is because the world needs to know of the dangers of fourteen-year-old eccentric girls named Emi.

 

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away and yet so close you could reach out and touch it, in a time long, long ago and yet so recently it was only yesterday, there lived a girl who was as kind as she was beautiful--that is to say, not very kind at all.

 

i never really thought about the meaning of word alone until I saw the face of the girl at the bus stop that rainy morning.

 

Well, there they are. If you guys want to come up with a storyline for them/use them/discard them entirely, feel free. oh, and if you'd give constructive criticism, that'd be great.

 

They're great first sentences, Jess! Write on!

Admin

submitted by Jess, age perfection, the perfect pla
(May 2, 2011 - 1:22 pm)

They're really awesome sentences! I say you use one of them as the first line of a story and just let the plot come to you.

submitted by Sidney W., age 11, Va, USA
(May 2, 2011 - 5:27 pm)

TOP

submitted by TOP, age TOP, TOP
(May 3, 2011 - 7:48 am)

C'mon, you guys. Please? *Puppy dog eyes*

submitted by Jess
(May 4, 2011 - 11:18 am)

This is depressing...

submitted by Jess, Totally under c
(May 7, 2011 - 3:26 pm)

No prob!  Let's see:

 

If Emily Augusta Osborne had not moved into the house across the
street, Laura would never had discovered what she did, and nothing would
ever have changed.
  The house was old, a hunded years at least, and large, stretching far from side to side, with an extensive backyard filled with pine trees and morning glory vines.  On one branch was strung a swing, the kind made of a board and rope, only the board wa slong rotted and none had sat on it for years.  The last inhabitants of the house had moved out when Laura was just five, which was eight years ago, and It had sat empty since, its windows boarded up, paint flaking, garden paths overgrown and grass unmown.  It was a desolate house.

Until Emily came.  She and Laura were the same age and bonded quickly, from the moment they passed each other on the sidewalk.  They seemed quite opposites, Emily having wavy medium blonde hair and brown eyes, and being short but fairly slender, and Laura having vary dark brown hair -- indeed almlost black -- and was tall and quite skinny, with glasses covering eyes of a color that no one could describe.  They were blue, and gray, and green, and a strange mixture of the three.  However, despite their very different appearances, they were alike in opinions and tastes.

Emily's father, who insisted that Laura call him Mark, was a fairly short man with glasses and salt-and-pepper hair, was kind and energetic, and within the space of a month had unboarded the windows, reroofed the house, and painted interior and exterior.  When he was done, he replaced the rotting board on the swing and tested the ropes himself.  He was fun, and played games with the girls.  He said he was a stockbroker with a kind heart, and seemed to think this was very funny.  Laura didn't get it.

Emily's mother, though, was tall and pinched, with a hook nose and a skinny figure.  she dressed formally for all occasions and made Laura feel uncomfortable somehow.  She couldn't describe it, it was just a feeling.  The mother liked Laura to call her Mrs. Osborne, for an unknown reason.  Her hair was blonde and thinning.  She stalked the house in high heels and told Emily repeatedly to go away and leave her alone.  As far as Laura could tell, she just stayed at home and played bridge every weekend, and occadionally went to parties with her husband, requiring a sitter for Emily.  Sometimes the sitter came, and sometimes she sent a replacement, who just sent Emily to bed immediately.  It was a horrific setup.

 

 

 

I'll write some more later!  Have fun writing the novel!

submitted by Oregano, age 13, the sofa - actu
(May 12, 2011 - 8:55 am)

YAY SOMEBODY POSTED! That story was great, I would not have thought of that myself. I tend to write dark, usually fantasy, stories.

submitted by Jess, I could really
(May 12, 2011 - 10:33 am)

Actually that would make a really great dark fantasy story, like Coraline, by Neil Gaimain.  Have you read that one?  If not, you should, it's a dark fantsy story.  :)

 

 

Spammy says "repu."  Repu what, Spammy?  Reputation?  Repute?  Repudiate?

submitted by Oregano, age 13, the garden
(May 13, 2011 - 9:57 am)

Here I go again.  Don't say I didn't warn you!  Tell me to stop whenever!!!

 

It was a Monday, June 21st, and I was doing the supper dishes when the door blew open without warning and into my life walked the last girl I'd have expected.

"Tricia!" I gasped.  She was my school archenemy, the one who ran against me for every post on the school student board, the one who shot down every suggestion I made in class, the one who competed with me in every sport.  She went out of her way to wear nicer clothes than I did, and had a tendency to have all my boyfriends each less than a week after I had broken up with them.  And she made no secret of it.

She was dirty, ragged, and had a wild look in her eyes. Her clothing, once the most stylish in the school, was torn and stained.  She shut the door behind her and said, in a pleading tone, "Hide me."

 

Ouch.  I think I just backed you into a corner.  Now she must have either broken the law or her parents have turned against her (whether or not they are justified).  Your choice.

submitted by Oregano, age 13, the loveseat
(May 12, 2011 - 10:53 am)

The only reason I'm writing this is that I can't stop!!!!!!  Those sentences are too compelling, they're bending me to their will!!!!!!!!!

 

 

The only reason I'm writing this is that the world needs to know of the dangers of fourteen-year-old eccentric girls named Emi.  There was one on my street when I was thirteen.  We were in the same classes at school [here I leave it to you to decide whether the narrator skipped a grade or Emi was held back] that fall.  I didn't see her much the summer before -- we had just moved in, and she mostly kept to her backyard.

 

But that year at school, there was trouble.  Emi was mute and seemed to have ADHD, very badly.  She would, as if she didn't know what she was doing, run around and around the classroom in the middle of the class.  The teacher would sometimes speak sharply to her, but she didn't seem to hear.  Sometimes she would run into the class itself and loop around a desk, then go back to running around the classroom, only in the other direction.  Sometimes she would stop and backtrack, or hide.  And eventually she started fighting off the other kids who came within three feet of her.  It was a rare day that someone wasn't sent to the nurse because of Emi.

 

It wasn't until a month into the year that Emi sat still at her desk for the whole of each period.  She looked like she was scared.  She had a hunted look in her eyes, and her muscles would someitmes suddenly tense up and she would shake as from fear.  She was fighting to sit still, fighting to maintain control of herself.  

 

Later in the fall, in November right before Thanksgiving break, Emi was diagnosed with schizophrenia. She was put on a medication that drugged her so much she would just about fall asleep in class. Every once in a while, she would still get that hunted look, but mostly, she just looked half-asleep. She would even put me to sleep just looking at her.

 

It was December second that the trouble began. Her medication wasn't working so well anymore.  And all this time her schizophrenia had apparently been getting worse, and no one had known, because she was so heavily sedated.  She looked  amazingly awake one day in class, and then suddenly she stood up, looked at me -- or was it through me? -- and opened her mouth as though she was trying to scream.  Her eyes were wide and wild.  And she jumped me.

 

 

 

Ηhhmph.  That one went all weird.  Feel free to ditch the suggestion.

submitted by Oregano, age 13 and cou, on top of the l
(May 12, 2011 - 11:16 am)

Oh, my goodness, that was crazy! Where did you get that?

And (this might be a really dumb question) what is schizophrenia?

And I really meant that to be like "fourteen-year-old Emis are dangerous because they can get you in all sorts of trouble." 

submitted by Jess, Lalalala..What?
(May 12, 2011 - 3:12 pm)

Ah.  Well, first, look it up, I don't have a good definition, but we watched a movie about mental disorders a while back and that was one.  And second - I don't know, you could have the narrator do something bad to her, only it's not really her fault because Emi jumped her first, and it's not Emi's fault either, because that's what her brain is wired to do?  But that doesn't matter to the teachers and principals, because they're all aliens from outer space, and they have super powers and it's because of them that Emi has scizophrenia in the first place, they're just trying to make al Earth go crazy so they can conquer it.  Hm, maybe I can explain that to myself.  ;)

 

Spammy says "meec."  Are you scared, Spammy?

submitted by Oregano, age 13, the sofa - actu
(May 12, 2011 - 3:48 pm)

That's fascinating. My grandmother has schizophrenia (a different, less dangerous form), but I don't know much about it.

submitted by Ima
(May 12, 2011 - 6:57 pm)

Oh, sorry, my last post was really negetive. I'm sorry, it really didn't come out the way I meant it to! Hope I didn't offend you!

submitted by Jess, Lunchtime!
(May 13, 2011 - 12:27 pm)

No, of course not!!  Actually I didn't realize it was negative at all!!

 

The last two sentences are a bit harder... especially the fourth one... I'll give the fifth a try though.  :)

 

 

I never really thought about the meaning of the word alone until I saw the face of the girl at the bus stop that morning [or whatever it is, I don't remember exactly].  She had her arms wrapped around the stop sign as if it were her only friend.  She wore all black and had her hair braided.  There was something in her eyes that was sad and heartbroken and lonely and hungry, all at once.  I went up to her and asked her what her name was.

 

"[Insert name here]."  Her voice came out hoarse and dry and sad.

 

To be continued

submitted by Oregano, age 13, snack time!
(May 13, 2011 - 2:23 pm)

 RE: It was a Monday, June 21st, and I was doing the supper dishes when the door blew open without warning and into my life walked the last girl I'd have expected. 

Well, depending on how old Tricia is, she could have had some sort of fight with her boyfriend, or she could have gotten beat up by somebody or something. 

submitted by Jess, I AM IN DESPERA
(May 13, 2011 - 8:06 pm)