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Chatterbox: Pudding's Place
You are invited
You are invited to a Winter Ski Lodge Murder Mystery!
Who: Everyone is invited to join. One of you is a murderer, but which one?
What: This is a murder mystery. Every day, one person will die. Who is it? That's your job to figure out.
When: The game will begin on January 1 and end whenever it ends.
Where: The Ski Lodge. In other words, this page.
RSVP: I don't really care as long as you join sometime in December.
Various sundry rules and explanations:
-Each day I will write the story (probably in the morning or right after I get home if I have school). After that, you're welcome and encouraged to write your own view of the day.
-Big one: This isn't violent or gory.
-The motto: The funnier, the better.
-Basic geography does not apply. The Ski Lodge and Surrounding Territories more or less rewrites itself depending on how I want you guys to die.
-I don't decide who dies, so it's completely impartial. I pull everyone's names out of the Sugarbowl. The murderer comes out first (so I can keep track, really) and then I just draw a new name every day.
-Yes, the Sugarbowl is a Sugarbowl. I couldn't find a good hat the first time I wanted to do this and there is actually a skiing place in California called the Sugarbowl, so I thought, well, why not? It's more or less my Death Note.
-Pleeaaaassseee don't ask me to give you some long ridiculous name to put in the Sugarbowl. "Melody the Awesome Authority on all things Disney who is really Awesome" is so large, of course it's going to be pulled out right away.
-Like any good cartoon, logic and physics are overrated.
I hope you can join us.
-The Omnipotent Narrator
submitted by T.O.N.
(December 1, 2013 - 9:29 pm)
(December 1, 2013 - 9:29 pm)
Wait, you mean you don't keep coffins at your house? But Melody is your sister, after all!
(January 5, 2014 - 12:04 pm)
*annoyed glare*
(January 5, 2014 - 2:00 pm)
I apologize for forgetting the ending line of yesterday's, so it will fit in at the bottom of today's.
Day 5
Tragically, today's bucket-kicker was Gollum. That ought to be one of Everinne's awards. Best Bucket-Kicker, for those who die most dramatically and often, with the best speeches. Today, Gollum and a friend (no one can seem to remember who she/he was) went bungee jumping and Gollum's bungee cord snapped, plunging her facedown into a really, really cold river with some lovely sharp rocks.
Ivy: Okay, who thought it was a good idea to do activities in pairs? From now on, let's all do stuff as one big group.
S.E.: No offense, Ivy, but do you really think twenty of us can go down the pretty skinny skiing runs they have here?
Lizzy: We'll probably all crash and end up in one enormous dogpile singing Disney songs.
Melody: Did somebody say Disney? (Melody, you made me watch two minutes of foxes frolicking and staring into each other's eyes disgustingly. That wasted two minutes of my life, and I want a refund.)
Blue Fairy: No, that was your own crazy mind. Let's have a wake for Gollum and Teresa. You *pushes towards kitchen* can help me with the cooking.
SC: I'll make cupcakes in the shapes of rabbits!
Red: Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Theo?
Theo: Operation: Take out SC?
Red: Come, Theo, let us plan evilly.
Grace: Hey, if SC dies, their room will be all empty. Can I take it?
Ima: Stop plotting to kill people and go help prepare for the wake, all of you.
The wake was an enormous success. For a while, people tried to recall what exactly Teresa and Gollum did and recount those adventures magically, but there were some... complications. (Watermelon: I can't remember anything. Bounty: Who cares? Let's party!) So Melody sent them off with a lovely song filled with a lot of frolicking and dreamy-eyed foxes and then all pretext of honoring the dead was thrown off. And thus games broke out and an impromptu pillow fight formed. Someone put on music and half the lodge tried to make a conga line before they all went over like dominos.
Tovah: I think that was my spleen you landed on!
Maggie: Ah, cookies? Thanks... Hey, wait a minute. Weren't you kind of, you know, dead yesterday?
Jem Louise Margaret: Well, that was yesterday.
Skyler: I think I'm going to faint. *passes out*
BHR: STAB ATTACK!!
BHR flew with a knife and promptly made JLM dead again today.
Corina: See? I knew you were the kind of person to do that!
BHR: Oh, come on, I only stabbed her because you kept on accusing me of doing it. Actually, that was kinda fun...
Blackberry: She could have been a medical miracle! Surviving two stab wounds to live and tell the tale and now you killed her again! Uggh! If the medical industry fails, it's all your fault!
Theo: Don't worry, she'll be back. And hereeeee's Skyler!
Skyler: Dead person! *passes out*
Afterwards, Charlie and Gilraen were forced to do the (large pile of) dishes and so they decided that singing a song would make it all much, much better.
Charlie and Gilraen: Chip the glasses and crack the plates! Blunt the knives and bend the forks! That's what Red's mother hates- smash the bottles and burn the corks!
Red: That's not even funny!
Rest in peace, Gollum and Teresa. Rest in peace.
(January 5, 2014 - 11:55 am)
Very amusing, but I'm finding the whole "emotion" thing difficult because reasons so....I'm sorry for not showing the proper enthusiasm.
(January 5, 2014 - 4:22 pm)
Bungee jumping is a side effect of dying. Or rather the other way around.
(January 5, 2014 - 8:37 pm)
T.O.N, please let S.C. die so I can take his room.
(January 5, 2014 - 1:46 pm)
I'll pass on your wishes to the Sugarbowl, but it listens to me just about as much as my cats do. Gender-wise, everyone is a girl, except for Red, Sklyer, and Theo. Red and Skyler are boys and Theo prefers to remain genderless.
(January 5, 2014 - 8:44 pm)
Ahem. I prefer to be genderless. Just to clarify
(January 17, 2014 - 1:39 am)
Fine, I'm not going to be genderless anymore. Leion, Legion, slash skyler are the same person. (I've mentioned this.)
And I'm a girl, so PLEASE stop referring to Skyler as a boy or making him pass out :P
Cappie says beet. I do not like beets cappie. They are horrible (in my opinion) in salads.
(February 3, 2014 - 9:58 pm)
SC is a female.
I'm sorry about the song thing. It was the first song that caught my eye. I will have you know it won an Oscar! Although the scene it's in is kinda goopy.
Let's do Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride from Lilo and Stitch. I swear it's not as bad as the last song.
(January 5, 2014 - 2:04 pm)
I keep getting mixed up with genders because of initials!
(January 5, 2014 - 3:10 pm)
It is becoming disturbingly like me to do things like that, isn't it?
(January 5, 2014 - 3:17 pm)
May I please join this murder mystery? I know it's a little late, but it looks awesome!
Sincerly, Evan S.
(January 5, 2014 - 11:27 pm)
Sorry, Evan! I really hate refusing people, but at this point, no one else can enter the ski lodge. If you stay around the CB for a while, I tend to do these every six months or so, so you could join if I do another one. I know people tend to enjoy just reading these, so I hope you read along and learn what a weird and wonderful place the CB is!
(January 5, 2014 - 11:40 pm)
Day 6
Scientific proof has just come in that NaNoWriMo can be hazardous to your health. Corina, while working on her novel, had accepted a cup of tea from some helpful individual, and then began drinking it while wacking away at her story. She never finished that deadly cup of tea.
BHR: Oh, you want to see my decapitated Barbie collection? It's in my room, Skyler. Come with me, I'll find it.
Cracking open the door to BHR and Corina's room, the Barbie headsman and the one wishing to bear witness to Barbie beheadings have a very lovely view of a very poisoned and very dead girl.
BHR: Ahhhhhh! CORINAAAA! NOOOOOOO! MY TWINNNN!
Skyler: I think I'm going to faint. *passes out*
The rest of the skiers enter the room, carefully stepping around Skyler in the doorway.
SC: Yup. She's dead all right.
Lizzy: Really, Captain Obvious? I would never have guessed.
Gilraen: Hey, how was her novel going? "Rumor has it that she is an acquaintance of the evil ggggghhfrlghbwEBFLQEHFG2B [FFGF' hjkh;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"
Blue Fairy: How in the world did you say that last part out loud?
Blackberry: Elf powers, Blue Fairy. Don't disrespect the elf powers.
Grace: Did she have a seizure across the keys or something?
Ima: Maybe she could win an award for best novel written by a dying person. There has to be some kind of award like that. I would totally nominate "ggggghhfrlghbwEBFLQEHFG2B [FFGF' hjkh;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;" as a winner.
Ivy: Whatever! Let's just clean her up and go ski!
Cue dramatic skiing scene.
Melody: Aloha e aloha e
'Ano 'ai ke aloha e
Aloha ae aloha e
A nu ay ki aloha e
[Translation: I have no idea what I'm saying, but hey, if I say "aloha" a lot and use Japanese syllables, it'll sound Hawaiian anyway!]
There's no place I'd rather be
Than on my snowboard not at sea
Lingering on the mountain blue
And if I had one wish come true
I'd ski till the sun sets
Beyond the horizon
A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi
[Translation: Wik]
Lawe mai i ko papa he'e nalu
[Alsø wik]
Flyin by on the ski mountain roller coaster ride
A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi
[Alsø alsø wik]
La we mai iko papa he na lu
[Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yer?]
Pi'i na nalu la lahalaha
[See the løveli lakes]
O ka moana hanupanupa
[The wonderful telephøne system]
Lalala i kala hanahana
[And mani interesting furry animals]
Me ke kai hoene i ha pu'e one
[Including the majestic møøse]
Helehele mai kakoue e
[A Møøse once bit my sister...]
Ski mountain roller coaster ride
We apologize for the fault in these subtitles. Those responsible (*cough cough* Red *cough cough*) have been sacked. And now back to our regularly scheduled program.
The doorbell rang today, bringing a host of very unexpected visitors.
Tovah: We don't want a subscription to the newspaper! We already have one!
Agent Alpacachan: But wait! We're not here to sell you anything! We're the... music?
What?
Agent Alpacachan: Music? Lights? Hello? Anything going on up there?
I'm busy sacking Red. Come back later.
Red: Nooo! Alpaca-chan! Help me! I need money to support my family! My children will go hungry!
Agent Alpacachan: You have children?
Red: My imaginary children who don't exist and have never been mentioned before this conversation will go hungry!
Okay, okay, I'm setting up. What music did you have anyway?
Agent E.W.: We gave you the CD, remember? (Old fashioned Narrator still uses CDs.)
No, you didn't.
Agent Alpachan: Oh, was that that funny disk that was in the bag? I couldn't fit that in with all my knives, so I left it back at my house.
Agent E.W.: Our musical intro! We've been choreagraphing it for half a year! How could you leave it behind, Agent Alpacachan?
Agent Alpachan: And then the minigoat ate it.
Agent E.W.: Really? Why did I ever trust anything so important to you?
S.E.: Hey, it's getting cold in here! Hurry up and tell us what you want!
Shortened introduction: These two are the *ahem* "highly professional" assassination team, Assassins R Us. They've been in business for almost two years now, have stabbed JLM an enormous amount of times I'm too lazy to go count, and are very familiar with Red and Melody. Oh, yes, and Agent Alpacachan would like to tell you that her minigoat Spice is very lonely and makes distressed "baaa baaa" sounds all day.
Charlie: So are you here for anything, or are you just wasting our time?
Watermelon: And space. Look how long today is!
Bounty: It's mostly Melody's song and translations.
Agent E.W.: We wonder if you know of the entity going by the codename "Yoonicorn"?
Grace: Nope.
Agent Alpacachan: Drat! Venting feelings time!
Jem Lousie Margaret ever so conveniently walks by and get stabbed and then the two assassins mysteriously vanish.
Theo: Did they just use an Escape Rope?
Rest in peace, Corina. Rest in peace.
(January 6, 2014 - 11:42 am)