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Day 0This pe
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Day 0This pe
Day 0
This person might consider themselves to be an ordinary person, but today the life they have always lived might take a turn for the extraordinary. On May 15, a day like any other, this person picks up the mail. There are the usual ads, a letter from a family member, and- what's this? A letter addressed to the person but with no return address? Curious, this person thinks. Tearing open the envelope, the person reads the letter.
Dear Reader,
If you have received this letter, you have been invited to the greatest ski lodge party ever to occur. We would be very pleased if you would attend. We shall begin on July 15, giving you two months to RSVP. We shall be very sad if you cannot attend. Come, come! Join in our celebration. We have but a few rules:
- In the past, a couple of murderers have seemed to sneak into the lodge and murdered everyone. If you're a murderer, stay away, unless your name is Melody, Red, or BHR.
- It's all fun and games here. No matter what happens, everything shall be silly and fun.
- If you have no idea what I'm going on about, you can read the rules to any of the past ski lodge adventures (the top comment on Pudding's Place should be one). If you do, ignore this and keep reading.
- A new day is usually posted in the morning by me. Every day, a new installment in the story occurs.
- You're very welcome to write your point of view of the day (why most people don't is a mystery to me!) but please wait for me to put the day up first.
- Logic sometimes gets tossed out the window. Nobody needs that stuff!
- I do not pick who lives and dies- my immortal companion, the Sugarbowl, carries your names and I randomly draw them out.
- If you ask me to put a really long, narcissistic, name into the Sugarbowl (*cough cough Melody cough cough*)- Excuse me, I seem to have come down with a bit of a cold. As I was saying- if you do ask me to put such a long name in, I will ignore you and probably tease you about it for the rest of your life. Don't think I won't.
- I tend to make fun of people a lot (*cough cough Melody cough cough*). My goodness, that really is a very persistent cold! Please don't take it personally. Also, I am sure I will mess up someone's gender. Don't take that personally either. I botch personalities and tend to make a general mess of things. Moral of the story: Don't take anything here personally. If I mess with you, it means I like you.
- What a hypocrite- "but a few rules", my foot.
- I always feel like this section is hard to write. Eh, if you don't get things, read another rule page, or ask me questions.
We look forward to your participation. Please come join the show.
-The Omnipotent Narrator
The Sugarbowl is waking up... It is time to choose your own adventure. Will you come join?
submitted by T.O.N.
(May 15, 2014 - 5:35 pm)
(May 15, 2014 - 5:35 pm)
I'm very sorry, Admin. But hey, you helped me get uncursed, if that's a word. Still, nothing can beat Blue Moon. And I will search and search until I find out who stole my ice cream..........
OK, good luck. Maybe on the night of the next full moon . . .
Admin
(August 18, 2014 - 8:19 pm)
Yes! When will that be...?
(August 19, 2014 - 4:33 pm)
I'm still alive! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
(August 19, 2014 - 3:19 pm)
*Coughcough* Teresa or BHR will find their dimise *coughcough*
Hm... there must be something stuck in my throut.
(August 19, 2014 - 4:34 pm)
*Demise
(August 19, 2014 - 5:42 pm)
It could be me too, you know.
I don't get access to knowing who the murderer is, but I know when the narrator laughs at times when things aren't funny. Because of this, I think I know who the murderer is... *evil laughter*
(August 19, 2014 - 5:46 pm)
It's not who you think it is.
(August 20, 2014 - 6:55 pm)
...Once in a blue moon...
Oh, excuse me.
(August 19, 2014 - 4:37 pm)
Oh, forgot BHR is the one who taunts me. Sorry Melody!
(August 23, 2014 - 9:18 am)
Day 23
Here is a small fact: You are going to die. It happens to everyone at some point and some people do it more than once. Dying is not your choice. It happens when it happens and trying to bribe does nothing (but it makes me feel very happy and gets you some good philosophical lines, so send cash or checks to: The Omnipotent Narrator, 5555 Ladybug Lane, Cricket Country). Whether you go down without a fight, what songs you sing while you die, and what flavor of ice cream you eat while you die is entirely up to you.
BHR crouched down in the snow, shivering despite her thick woolen socks. She wished her close companions Theo and Corina were here, but, alas, the both were taken out by wildlife. Sure, they claimed that they were alien unicorns and giant bunnies, but she knew better. The real threat here... was zombies.
BHR: Cabbage-pult! Report for duty!
Cabbage-pult: I’ve been stewing all day, General, so if anyone zombie comes, whooo-wee! That’s going to be a smell they’ll remember for the rest of their undead lives! And if we want to know the pH of them, good thing this stuff makes good universal indicator.
Peashooter: The peas are primed and ready for a zombie invasion!
BHR had planted her troops strategically, it was true. She knew those zombies wouldn’t get the best of her, but... what was that person doing up so early?
BHR: Hey, what are you doing here? Listen, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I think you’re working with the zombies or doing something pretty suspicious. Why did you ask me to show you how to call the unicorns and Bunnicula and stuff? I mean, you’re my friend and all, but I can’t help but wonder if you’re not on my side.
???: Of course I’m working with you, BHR. Look here’s my army of plants against the zombies.
BHR: That’s no army, that’s only a Cho- *CHOMP!*
???: Only one Chomper is needed if there’s only one enemy.
In other catchy cell phone games reeenacted, Ivy and Teresa attempted to recreate “Flappy Bird” without realizing that artistic license can only do so much and while self-aware weather and aliens weak to poppy love songs are all well and good, the line is drawn just short of flying humans and actually leaving the place for good on the ski mobile.
FQ: Do we need to call a doctor?
Ivy: I think Teresa landed on my spleen!
Madeline: Can we get insurance? Ooh, ooh! I want to spend the insurance money on ice cream! I think these two are totaled for sure!
Alice: How many fingers am I holding up?
Teresa: Yellow.
Alice: Close enough!
Moss: Why don’t I call the hospital and see if they can get a helicopter in?
Bookbug: Or we could panic! REAL INJURY! OH MY GOSH, SOMEONE IS NOT DEAD FOR ONCE! WHAT DO WE DO? WE CAN’T JUST STUFF THEM IN THE CLOSET AND WAIT FOR THEM TO GO AWAY!
Red: Bookbug, I’m so glad you’re useful in a crisis. Remind me to have an accident right next to you.
Bounty: Calm down, Bookbug. Look, here’s JLM, nice and dead as usual. Nothing strange to worry about there, right?
Maggie: JLM’s like the ultimate punching bag. You can vent your feelings repeatedly without worrying about any permanent damage and just look at her dead! Zen. So peaceful. When I look at her corpse, I hear the sounds of a babbling brook and am hit with an overwhelming desire to do yoga.
Nina: So, how ‘bout that doctor?
Moss: Hello, we’re at the ski lodge and we have two injured people, can we get a helicopter here to pick them up?
Secretary: Heeelllllooooo, maaaaay I aaaaask who’s caaaaaaaliinnnnggg?
Moss: Nope. I’m hanging up. Sorry guys, but I’m not dealing with her for you.
Disclaimer: Teresa and Ivy were fine afterwards. (No skiers were harmed (much) in the making of this day.)
Rest in peace, Blonde Heroines Rule. Rest in peace.
(August 19, 2014 - 10:06 pm)
I'm still not dead!!! 23 days. I think that's a new record for me.
(August 20, 2014 - 9:25 am)
The Book Theif!
(August 21, 2014 - 7:35 pm)
Aah! BHR is chasing me with a knife! How'd she find one up here?! Ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
(August 23, 2014 - 9:20 am)
Day 24
A half-moon glowed on smooth granite boulders, turning them silver. Very soon, a girl would come skiing down these slopes, not realizing that her partner had led her here for a reason. Very soon, a girl would not notice these treacherous boulders and sail off the cliff they hid. Very soon, she would see why the place was nicknamed...
Red: Roger.
Ivy: Pardon me?
Red: We named that cliff that Bounty skied off Roger.
Teresa: There are worse things to do than that when you’re bored and tired of blowing up kitchens, partying, and putting Red’s underwear in the freezer, you know.
Red: Wha- that was you??!!
Teresa: Nope, I caught Moss and Maggie in the act.
Moss: Teresa, you betrayer!
Maggie: I think Teresa’s laundry basket needs a visit from the Freezer Force, Moss.
Alice: What should we do in the meantime? We’ve already read all the books and destroyed all the zombie cows. The snow plow hasn’t come yet so we can’t go home.
FQ: How ‘bout we go fly a dragon?
Bookbug: Let’s go fly a dragon, up to the highest flagon! Let’s go fly a dragon and send it burning! Burning all the horrid books, knocking them down with meat hooks, oh, let’s go fly a dragon!
Madeline: Someone say meat hooks? I knew I packed those for a good reason!
While the other skiers attempted to help Madeline pull her meat hooks out of the ceiling where she had flung them zealously, Nina went to answer the door.
Mysterious Girl: Ohohoho~
Mysterious Boy: Surprised to see us here?
Nina: Assassins R Us, I presume?
Agent Alpaca-chan: That’s where you’re wrong! No, we’re tired of being the bumbling, incompetent good guys!
Agent E.W.: We’ll no longer partake of the “milk of human kindess”! Beware, for we are back and evil! We are... Assassins R Us 2.0! *sheen*
Nina: Wow, you spent that much money on a billboard ad and sound effects? I’m feeling the evilness already.
Agent Alpaca-chan 2.0: That’s right! Cower before us, mortals!
Agent E.W. 2.0: “Bigger, better, and badder than ever!”
Nina: Now you’re like Team Rocket! Useless and working for the forces of evil! Wow, can I take a selfie with you guys? Haha, thanks. Well, see you later!
Agent Alpaca-chan 2.0: Hey, she can’t close the door on us! That was part of our upgrade to becoming more fabulous!
Agent E.W. 2.0: S-surely there must be an error in my new plan to become the very best!
Agent Alpaca-chan 2.0: I knew we should have stuck to catching 'em all.
Meanwhile, let us look into the daily life of JLM. Here she is, eating breakfast. Here she is, getting her uniform ready for school. Here she is-
JLM: Why are you following me with a camera?
It’s a special feature. I thought I could show everyone the interesting things you do every day.
JLM: My voodoo is a trade secret! I musn’t let you have that knowledge! If necessary... the information will die with me! Goodbye, cruel world! The voodoo community will mourn the loss of my knowledge! *stab*
Here she is, dead, at least until tomorrow.
Rest in peace, Bounty. Rest in peace.
(August 20, 2014 - 7:44 pm)
"Cower before us, mortals"? Is that a reference or am I just self-centered?
(August 20, 2014 - 9:42 pm)