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Day 0This pe
Chatterbox: Pudding's Place
Day 0This pe
Day 0
This person might consider themselves to be an ordinary person, but today the life they have always lived might take a turn for the extraordinary. On May 15, a day like any other, this person picks up the mail. There are the usual ads, a letter from a family member, and- what's this? A letter addressed to the person but with no return address? Curious, this person thinks. Tearing open the envelope, the person reads the letter.
Dear Reader,
If you have received this letter, you have been invited to the greatest ski lodge party ever to occur. We would be very pleased if you would attend. We shall begin on July 15, giving you two months to RSVP. We shall be very sad if you cannot attend. Come, come! Join in our celebration. We have but a few rules:
- In the past, a couple of murderers have seemed to sneak into the lodge and murdered everyone. If you're a murderer, stay away, unless your name is Melody, Red, or BHR.
- It's all fun and games here. No matter what happens, everything shall be silly and fun.
- If you have no idea what I'm going on about, you can read the rules to any of the past ski lodge adventures (the top comment on Pudding's Place should be one). If you do, ignore this and keep reading.
- A new day is usually posted in the morning by me. Every day, a new installment in the story occurs.
- You're very welcome to write your point of view of the day (why most people don't is a mystery to me!) but please wait for me to put the day up first.
- Logic sometimes gets tossed out the window. Nobody needs that stuff!
- I do not pick who lives and dies- my immortal companion, the Sugarbowl, carries your names and I randomly draw them out.
- If you ask me to put a really long, narcissistic, name into the Sugarbowl (*cough cough Melody cough cough*)- Excuse me, I seem to have come down with a bit of a cold. As I was saying- if you do ask me to put such a long name in, I will ignore you and probably tease you about it for the rest of your life. Don't think I won't.
- I tend to make fun of people a lot (*cough cough Melody cough cough*). My goodness, that really is a very persistent cold! Please don't take it personally. Also, I am sure I will mess up someone's gender. Don't take that personally either. I botch personalities and tend to make a general mess of things. Moral of the story: Don't take anything here personally. If I mess with you, it means I like you.
- What a hypocrite- "but a few rules", my foot.
- I always feel like this section is hard to write. Eh, if you don't get things, read another rule page, or ask me questions.
We look forward to your participation. Please come join the show.
-The Omnipotent Narrator
The Sugarbowl is waking up... It is time to choose your own adventure. Will you come join?
submitted by T.O.N.
(May 15, 2014 - 5:35 pm)
(May 15, 2014 - 5:35 pm)
Day 31
The door starts shaking. *pound pound pound!* “Let me out!” Madeline yells. “Let me out!” Why did she think it was a good idea to walk into the Kyra Kave’s freezer? Why did she think it was a good idea to play hide-and-seek in the Kyra Kave with one girl while the other two went off skiing? If only it isn’t so cold! If only the door isn’t locked! While Madeline turns into a Maddie-sicle, let’s back up a few hours...
Nina: You forgot me at the costume ball!
Teresa: I saw you. You were the little match girl.
Moss: Oh, the one who lights houses on fire?
Madeline: No. Not at all.
Teresa: Shh, don’t crush her dreams.
Nina: That’s not the point! You left me to help JLM as she lay dying! Only I was privy to her last words. They were... so beautiful... *sniff*
Moss: What did she say?
Nina: “I hope Senpai notices me.”
Madeline: Come! We must grant JLM’s last request! Say, who is this Senpai fellow, anyway?
Teresa: Senpai is a Japanese honorific for an upperclassmen. Do we have any upperclassmen here?
Nina: I think you’re the oldest, Teresa.
Moss: That’s perfect! Now all you have to do is notice her!
Teresa: I notice her all the time.
Madeline: Perhaps you need to stab her for maximum effect!
Nina: Hey, Moss, Madeline, you coach Teresa while I get JLM ready for the event!
JLM: Huh? Nina, what are you doing here?
Nina: I’m here to get Senpai to notice you!
JLM: Oh, Germany--Senpai? Kyaa, I’m so excited!
Nina: ... Hold on a second.
Moss: And you stab her like this, see -- hi, Nina, what’s up?
Nina: She wants Germany.
Madeline:... The country?
Moss: Oh! We can drape you in the flag, Teresa!
Teresa: I’m not sure if I want to--
Madeline: It’s perfect! You can wear it like a dress!
Nina: Brilliant! I knew I could count on you guys!
JLM: Wow, so Germany is actually here? Oh my goodness! Wow! I want to see him right away!
Teresa: Moss, I am not about to stab someone while wearing this ridiculous toga flag-
Madeline: No time, here she comes!
JLM: Germany! You look, uh, different.
Teresa: Uhhhh.... JLM, I am here to stab you. *stab*
Madeline: Please. What were all your lessons on charisma I gave you for, huh?
Nina: Oh, there’s the doorbell.
Agent Alpaca-chan: WAAAAH!
Nina: Oh gosh, crying teenager!
Agent Alpaca-chan: I’ve been so bad and it’s been so awful! I don’t want to be a bad guy anymore. I- I just want to be a good girl again and stab JLM.
Moss: Someone already beat you to it...
Agent Alpaca-chan: A girl wearing the German flag as a toga is taking over my job?
Teresa: Uh.
Agent Alpaca-chan: WAAAAH!
Rest in peace, Madeline. Rest in peace.
(August 28, 2014 - 9:09 pm)
ARGGG! WHO WOULD DARE TO KILL MADELINE!!!
I am sorry that it had to end like this, but I knew deep down inside that I could NEVER be the... YOU KNOW WHO.
As a final dying request, T.O.N., will you have my ghost go up to the murderer and slap her face while saying, NO ONE KILLS MADELINE!" And yes, I can slap, because I'm a special ghost.
Oh, guys, BY THE WAY THE...YOU KNOW WHO IS--mmphh, mphfuh MPHH!
Corina! I'm trying to reveal the... you know who!
Corina: It's okay, dear. It's more fun to watch it like this.
No! I can't just watch! MUST-- GET-- REVENGE!!
(August 29, 2014 - 9:33 am)
Lovely. Just lovely.
(I actually found it very amusing. I'm just finding emotions and words difficult right now.)
(August 29, 2014 - 4:20 pm)
Thank you, Maggie.
(August 29, 2014 - 6:46 pm)
Oh, come on! No one wants to mourn for me? *cries*
I thought you were my friends!
(August 29, 2014 - 2:18 pm)
Welcome to the other world, Madeline. It's great fun here.
But oh no, we can't be spoiling the murderer's fun, now can we?
(August 29, 2014 - 4:00 pm)
I am convinced that Teresa is the murderer. And welcome to the other side, Madeline. Bwahahaha!
(August 29, 2014 - 5:06 pm)
Day 32
In this picture there are fourty-seven people. None of them can be seen. In this day we hope to show you how not to be seen. This is Ms. Moss of Cricket Magazine Chatterbox, 8675309 Muffin Street. She cannot be seen. Now, I am going to ask her to stand up. Ms. Moss, will you stand up please? *kaboom!* This demonstrates the value of not being seen.
And now for something completely different.
Nina: Oh, are we the only ones left now? Trial by combat! Yeah!
Teresa: What would we fight with?
Nina: ... Carrots?
Teresa: A swashbuckling sword fight with carrots, that sounds fantastic.
FEP: HOLD IT!
Joe: Herald, read the accusation!
Bookbug: The Queen of Narnia, she made some cupackes,
All on a summer day:
The murderer, she killed some kids
And took their lives quite away.
Maggie and Jack: Come, let’s begin this farce of a trial!
Joe: Consider your verdict.
Bookbug: Not yet, not yet! There’s a great deal to come before that!
FQ: I, FantasyQuill, will serve as prosecutor!
FEP: I, Fire Eyes Phoenix, represent the defense.
FQ: Members of the court. I will now bring forth the defendants, Nina and Teresa, who are charged with the murder of everyone in this room.
JLM: What about me?
BHR: Executioner!
WW: Right away, ma’am.
FQ: What shall be their fates? To burn at the stake, perhaps? To feel the Tickler, or hang upside down? Or... shall we employ the guillotine?
Bounty and Watermelon: GUILLOTINE! GUILLOTINE! GUILLOTINE!
FQ: The choice is yours, good jurors. Now, let us begin.
Joe: Call the first witness.
Bookbug: *doot doot da doot!* First witness!
Red: I beg pardon, your Stickfiddlerness, for bringing my coffee in; but I hadn’t quite finished my water break when I was sent for.
Joe: You ought to have finished. When did you begin?
Red: Fourteenth of March, I think it was.
Corina: Fifteenth.
Sixteenth.
Joe: Write that down.
At this moment, the juror ghosts wrote down the dates on their iPads (modern technology in the court for the win) added them up, divided by twelve, and calculated tax.
Joe: Take off your hat.
Red: It isn’t mine.
Joe: Stolen!
Red: No, it’s just Ruby’s, nobody cares if I take that.
I care very much, thank you.
Joe: Give me your evidence and don’t be nervous, or I’ll have you murdered on the spot.
Red: I’m dead.
Joe: Then I’ll have you ghostbusted!
Red: I’m a poor man, your Stickfiddlerness, and I hadn’t begun my coffee- not above a week or so- and what with the cupcakes getting so thin- and the sparkling of the sea-
Joe: The sparkling of what?
Red: It began with the sea.
Joe: Of course sparkling begins with a C! Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!
Reed: Joe, you’re going to need to go back to second grade.
Red: I’m a poor man, and most things sparkeled after that book about vampires- only Corina said-
Corina: I didn’t!
Red: You did!
Corina: I deny it!
Joe: She denies it, leave out that part.
Red: Well, at any rate, the narrator said-
I did!
Red: You didn’t!
I don’t deny it!
Red: After that, I baked more cupcakes-
Joe: But what the narrator say?
Red: That I can’t remember.
Joe: You must remember or I’ll have you executed.
Red: I’m a poor man, your Stickfiddlerness.
Joe: You’re a very poor speaker. If that’s all you know about it, you may stand down.
Red: I can’t go any lower, I’m on the floor as it is.
Joe: Then you may sit down.
Red: I’d rather finish my coffee.
Joe: You may go.
BHR: -and just take his head off outside.
Joe: Call the next witness! Give your evidence.
Max: Shan’t.
Bookbug: Your Stickfiddlerness must cross-examine this witness.
Joe: Well, if I must, I must. What are cupcakes made of?
Max: Rabbit, mostly.
Treacle.
BHR: Collar that narrator! Turn that narrator out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his head!
Joe: Never mind! Really, BHR, you must cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my forehead ache!
Bookbug: Alice!
Alice: Here!
Reed: Was overturning our jury box really necessary?
Violet: I think S.E. landed on my spleen.
S.E.: Pah! You trampeled all over me like a goat.
John : How long will this farce continue? Because I need to make a restroom break.
Mag Fan: It’ll be a long time, we’re trying to find our murderer.
Nina: Really, is that what you’re doing?
Maggie and Jack: Search, search, seek them out, right or left or perhaps even below! Seek out the murderer!
Joe: Now, what do you know about this business?
Alice: Nothing.
Joe: Nothing whatever? I thought you were murdered!
Alice: Oh, is this a murder trial? That quite escaped my notice.
Joe: Consider your verdict.
Bookbug: There’s more evidence to come yet. This paper has just been picked up.
BHR: What’s in it?
Bookbug: I haven’t opened it yet but it seems to be a letter, written by the murderer to- to somebody.
Katie: Really? It looks like a shopping list to me.
Alice: I don’t believe there’s an atom of meaning in it.
Blu: How about a proton of meaning?
Joe: Did the murderer drop a pro-ton of something heavy on someone to kill them?
...
Joe: It’s a pun!
BHR: No, please, that is called “painful”.
Joe: Let the jury consider their verdict.
BHR: No, no! Sentence first- verdict afterwards.
Alice: Stuff and nonsense! Ice cream first, verdict afterwards!
Madeline: Yeah!
Zach: Hey, Melody, the question begs, what are you even doing here? Shouldn’t you have been kicked out for killing people? I know Red and BHR bribed their way in, but I didn’t know you were rich.
Ellie: So that’s why he’s a “poor man, your Stickfiddlerness”!
Melody: The selfish girl over there snuck me in.
Madeline: I just wanted someone for chores!
Joe: Right, that’s enough of the witnessed. Let’s have the defense’s case.
FEP: Teresa and Nina are charged with the murder of over thirty kids who some adult let them run off without responsible supervision. Ahem. The question is, how could they be guilty of a crime that never occured?
Moss: Wait, what?
FEP: The government would have you believe that you’re dead. But actually, you’re still alive... in the Matrix!
FQ: FEP, that looks like something off the narrator’s essays. Of course they really happened. Several other acts have also been brought to my attention that call the defendants’ characters into question.
Fire Eyes Phoenix: OBJECTION! This cannot possibly have any relevance to the case!
Joe: Care to respond, FQ?
FQ: These girls' character is at the very core of this case, Your Honor. This evidence will show that their testimonies cannot be trusted.
Teresa: Hey, we never testimonied!
Old Man: That girl right there ate my lunch! My wife made that lunch for me and the thought of it kept me going. But no! That ruffian had to eat it!
Teresa: Grandpa, Grandma made the lunch for me and a different lunch for you. Did you forget to take your medication again?
Old Man: Hyeheh! Don’t give me any of that sass, whippernsapper! You think I’m old and crazy, but Elvis Presley says I’m not and he’s the King! Your Grandpa eats lunch with the King, Bigfoot, and Yoda everyday! Hyeheh! Now, where’s that exit door...
Another Old Man: Nina, you tried selling a pendant that wasn’t yours.
Nina: No, I didn’t.
Old Man #2: Don’t think I don’t know you kids! I remember that day 50 years ago when a girl who looked just like you walked in and sold a pendant that belonged to her mother! You haven’t changed a bit in 50 years, either.
Nina: I can assure you, that wasn’t me.
Even More Senile Old Man: Eh? You sure? Well, my eyes aren’t as good as they were all those years ago, Ah, to be eighty again!
FQ: See? Look at those hooligans!
Ivy: The crazy old men or the possible murderers?
SPF: Let’s just make the vote already!
Joe: My, it seems to be a unanimous decision by the jury... and the results are-
Corina: Joe! We can’t give away the suspense!
Nina: Yeah, well, this whole thing is a little pointless.
Teresa: We all know who she is anyway.
Theo: *kicks down the fourth wall* And now you can too! Check in tomorrow at 1:00 p.m. EST to see *dun dun dunn!* the murderer’s confession! Are you ready for the dramatic conclusion and big revelation? Prepare to be amazed!
Now I feel like I have to write something worthy of that blurb.
Rest in peace, Moss. Rest in peace.
(August 29, 2014 - 7:11 pm)
If I were really there, I really would be saying, "GUILLOTINE! GUILLOTINE! GUILLOTINE!"
Cappie says mugp. Oh no! Cappie wants to mug me!
(August 30, 2014 - 9:52 am)
Jack and I were the Servants.
"Come, let's begin this farce of a trial!"
So many Alice's Adventures in Wonderland references. Glorious. Just glorious!!
(August 30, 2014 - 10:10 am)
I was going to have Captain Reed and John F.Q. be the Servants (in an earlier draft, you were the Waiter), but as the days went on (this day was actually the very first one written, even before Day 1) I ended up changing you two to be the Servants, because Melody and Madeline fit the Gardener and the Waiter better. And I threw in Gear as well for good measure.
(August 30, 2014 - 12:23 pm)
*takes out hedge trimmer*
(August 30, 2014 - 8:50 pm)
Okay, that was just fantastic!
"and just take his head off outside." I laughed so hard!
I'm rich? Since when? How did you know? RED, HAVE YOU BEEN LOOKING IN MY SOCK DRAWER?! I always knew a million dollars would turn up there...
Ah, well, I STILL BELIEVE IT IS TERESA.
(August 29, 2014 - 8:37 pm)
I think it's Teresa too!
(August 30, 2014 - 10:47 am)
I can't claim to have created that line or many of the other ones. Day 32 is what might happen if two trains, carrying the trial from Alice, the trial from the game Chrono Trigger, the song Capriccio Farce, and the Phoenix Wright series collided into a massive wreck then had "Narrator's touch" sprinkled all over them.
I have to admit the entire point of that scene was to have FEP yell, "Objection!"
(August 30, 2014 - 12:31 pm)