I run --

Always running --

From people and talk

and their clouds of cunning,

From the tell-tale smoke 

That rises from the unending land of tears

Whilst bearing my yet unbearable yoke

Against a swarm of most stifling fears.

I run, I run,

Even when the air becomes molasses

I must speed on

Lest I be consumed by such horrid masses,

I will find a way to escape,

Ignoring all the burns and screams and scrapes. 

~~~~~

Inspired by my dear fellow runners thread! :) 

About an interaction I can't stop thinking about. 

~~~

May 16th, 2022

There was energy in the air that day

As if nitrogen was synonymous with anticipation

The room washed with a strange glow

Like the onset of a summer night, but still daytime

It was hot, and sticky as the bright bottled paint

We'd been pasting the windows with all day

The whole felt the electrified buzz not least because

The imminent lightening prickled and dampened our skin

Humidity was heavy on our ears trained on the final bell

And our final lesson it was, but not the last

Heavy, I said, but where did that come from and why

Is what you wondered, but I heard something more

Than what you said, I cannot say

Would I have noticed I hadn't been hoping for it

I had three, then four and five, but more I realized after

Which is why I stayed after, as they were telling us to go

For you to complete the thought perhaps you wished

You could before, before I went out the door

And left my chance behind me, but it didn't slip away

And the words you left hanging in that heavy air

Seemed louder than life, to give me life as they say

That echoed endlessly, and I understood that euphoria

Why you caused me to resonate so completely without fail

And I knew as you told me without words we were

Tuned to the same frequency

I still remember

Your face, locked in now-faded photos;

Smiles that smelled of rain instead sun,

Laughter that burbled in way that could stun

And all the far-off tales through the nights we'd spun. 

I still remember

Your glittering eyes, so full of shadows;

And yet you always chose the positive outlook,

Pretended as if everyone could read you like an open book,

Whispering the silent promise that your life would never be took.

I still remember

Your cheeks when you talked to her, how pink they rose; 

The way we all bantered together with such ease,

In moments that felt like an eternal summer breeze,

And of course, how could such joy and harmony ever cease? 

I ...

still remember

G ett ing _ the

news.

Wide

eyes  t wisted metal. 

horror clenched 

insi  de

a  chest    that

f el t   so

Sudden  ly

e m p t y

. like

THe 

holl ow that

comes

fro m   waTchiNG

some thing _ - beau  tiful

end  , shatter ed    t0

piE ces

broken, brok_en 

b   eyond re-pAir

guilt, Grief 

Hopelessness, despair

. 

I still

remember the day

I realised you were gone

forever, we would never see you

again, the sadness under her

Skin as she cried

And I remember feeling...

nothing. 

And

yet I still

remember and wonder if you're

okay, somewhere beyond this

life, if you're doing better than

me and

her. 

I'm sorry, 

But I still 

Remember. 

the words taste like cotton candy on my tongue,

--sweet, but gone after only a moment--

because their meaning melts away to the beat of your footsteps, 

as fast as the expression fades on my face.  

it's easy to sketch on a false smile, 

add some bright streaks of chalk across my cheeks, 

drip yellow paint down my neck,

and sprinkle pink freckles across my nose, 

but every false feeling I create, 

each fake grin and giggle, 

leave a sickly stain across my skin.

Nights full of tears and sniffles

Pressure on my head, butterflies dead in my stomach;

That was when I ached for you.

Then was when you pushed me away, and it hurt

But maybe that was what I wanted.

Perhaps I needed that lurch to send me sprawling

Back to reality.

It worked.

Imagine my surprise when you hoisted me out

Of that darkness I had inhabited

Did you expect me to ecstatic,

Now that you'd caved to your pity? 

Big shocker, I wasn't. I don't love you.

Maybe I never did. But now I certainly could not

Wish more for your gaze to be anywhere but on me.

For it singes my still fragile edges, but cannot pierce

The thick outter coating I formed while out in the dark.

You can move on now, since I already have,

And I have no intention

Of looking back. 

Nor should you. 

I live for the languid riffs of Night:

For the peeling away of stale air

As she emerges from her protective cocoon

And spreads her luxious star-encrusted wings,

Sipping up dew and moondust so elegantly.

I embrace her cold fingers as they creep

Through the moondance and darkened rays,

When they kiss bare skin with such affection which cannot be forgotten;

I long for her velvety tones, which tell tales of tragedy.

But it does not sadden me, it only breathes life

Into this hollow vessel that I occupy. 

Emotions

Are kind of like an abandoned house

I wander the floors

Wondering when I’ll 

Crash and fall

Hoping I don’t find myself in the basement

Too often

Floorboards creak beneath me

Footsteps rhythmically tapping

Clack creak cluck reek

Never knowing which is safe

Which board has rotted away

One step closer to the stairs

Or one nearer my demise

~

3/13/22

we're all spilling out of the car, 

our bare feet digging into the sand, 

our faces tilted up to feel that salty breeze. 

the coast is always a brief escape from the hot, sticky summer that waits for us at home. 

fog hangs over the bay,

its cool touch dancing over our skin.

the sound of waves crashing on the shoreline, 

is like music to our ears.   

she breaks away from the group, 

kicking sand up as she runs, 

heading straight towards the sea. 

waves drown her feet as she stands on the damp beach, 

grinning at the endless expanse of water, 

fading into the fog, 

and for a moment, 

you can see that look on her face. 

that look that says, 

I'm here and I'm alive and I'm living on this glorious earth.  

Beads of ebony seep from the depths --

Cold and smooth and viscous;

What eldritch horror called them here?

Who will turn them back? 

Last night I dreamed

And you were there

You seem to appear

In my mind everywhere

Every day and I don’t understand

Why you are so significant to me

That around every corner it’s always

You I expect to see

Why do I care so much about

What you might think

And when you’re around I

Forget how to blink

Sometimes I wonder

If it’s some sort of sign

That some kind of star

Somewhere fell in line

A signal when in my world

You came to be 

That you’d have a role

In this present story

Are you a wake-up call

To direct my attention

Or a confusion to

Obscure my direction

But told to me on

Triple two, quadruple four, five

And I’ve never been happier

To be here, alive

Though I’m inclined to think

I’m so crippled of my own design

Hope still demands a meaning

That I have yet to find

I turn the words over on my tongue,

unsure wether they're worth letting slip.

they taste like bittersweet chocolate chips

and trail mix. can't make up their mind

wheter to be sweet or salty

or maybe even sour.

yes, they taste sour.

they taste like jack frost's bitter breeze 

nipping at your bare ears

they taste like the ashes of a fire,

the wax of a candle.

my words feel as though

they are as indecisive as my brain.

my tongue is twisted

and my words are unsettled.

but they just might slip anyways. 

I don't know what I just wrote but I think it turned out okay :D

hello! checking back in on cricket after a few years and i can't believe this thread is still alive :") don't know if anyone here remembers me but i was active in like 2017 and 2018.

anyways, i graduated high school and throughout my senior year i wrote some poetry here and there to remember it better.

It's good to hear from you again, Bluebird. Thanks for checking in.

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