I live for the weaving of words,

For the twist and mangle of sounds and ideas

For the ocean-deep strokes that cross the pages,

For the squiggles that indent each surface

Drawing me in -- drenching me in some primordial wonder,

Some horrible parasite of curiosity laid upon those with the gift mind --

Begging for their whispers to be heard.

I live for snapping realisations,

For the moment everything clicks,

Drawn together as if by magnets -- perhaps fate --

For the yarn-maps and snapshots and hastily scrawled snippets;

All pointing to a true kind of beauty that lies beyond the senses themselves,

Something that burrows deep within; washes over us in a sweet release,

Capturing mind, addicting the mind-minion that is body.

Indeed, I live for the push and pull

The constant ever-present tides of fortune and rune;

The building and breaking, creation and decay.

It all glows of a certain lively radiance, fading, then reborn

A poem born from the dying day, yet still destined to live once again.

I live for movement

For words interlocking,

For all those plots that unfold --

All trapped in a mind,

Yet meant one day to be told.

the world is my cleats digging into the ground and 

the ball smacking against my legs and 

the sweet smell of grass just tasting the first drops of rain. 

the rain is something I barely notice, though, 

because I'm running, running, running, 

down the field with wind rushing in my ears and 

wisps of hair whipping in my face and 

a pounding, pounding heart. 

the world is shouts pounding in my ears and 

the ball at my feet and 

raindrops slipping down my face and 

a perfect, perfect shot at the goal.  

Sometimes we forget

Villains are people.

We look our mind's eye away,

At the things that "matter,"

Money, jobs, family, connections;

And then that lurking monster snaps its venomous jaws.

It was the cool boss standing behind you,

The romantic partner you loved cheating in the shadows,

A friend or acquaintance or sibling or cousin, a relative;

A role-model, a parent, a favourite face on the Internet 

And you gasp at the horror, the filth of their actions.

It hurts.

It blindsided you, sometimes. You never saw it coming.

You knew the risks, sometimes. And you fell prey just like all the others.

You should have heard the timbers creaking, sometimes. No shock it all cracked.

You don't deserve to be surprised. That was real foolish.

And sometimes it really does come out of nowhere at all. 

We relearn of the icky black goop forged by our world,

Exposed to the cold hard and bitter cup called truth;

More bits of optimism and innocence crumbling like dust on the wind, 

Disillusionment and numbness ironing and starching our fragile soul,

Since this is just life, and we must push through it.

We must be fine.

We mustn't shatter or break,

Even whilst wallowing in the knowledge

That the nastiest of monsters humanity does make. 

If I had to use four words to describe you,

They wouldn't be adjectives.

The first word would be audacity 

Because everyone says you are annoying 

And you are definitely bold.

The second would be ingenuity 

Because you are creative.

The third would be tenacity 

Because you are determined. 

I’d use the fourth word to describe 

How I feel around you.

But I cannot decide between jubilant,

Because I love being with you,

Or disappointment,

Because I don’t think you care about me at all. 

We had a pep rally yesterday.

I stand small like a dehydrated grape looking for water

But the eyes, they are on me and I crumble away to nothing, 

A shaking pile of stuffing blocking out what I can

Trumpets, shouts running me ragged, my thoughts

Tossed and tumbled and gasping for air and yet

It does not end like it might have, because through the crowd of faceless cheerers

I catch your eye & you give me a life jacket

A portal to escape into                                                  a book.

& The ocean waves that have tossed me are not so threatening anymore

The pain is dull and I am in control, & all I know how to say is

thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou

My poetry is always too rambling for my liking, but I'll post it anyway because why not.

Your eyes are blue,

A light hue like the sky just before sunrise.

I’d never noticed them before,

But now I can’t chase them from my mind.

You haven’t cut your hair in two years.

It falls over your shoulders in soft brown waves.

I like it that way.

You are confidence and charm and nonchalance,

The perfect high school heartthrob.

You sit alone in the dark playing video games

Like some mythical creature, reclusive and unknown.

I don’t want you to be unknown.

I want to know your favorite color, favorite songs,

And all your silent doubts.

I want to know what you think of me, 

Even though I already know.

But it’s too late to reason with myself, I am lost.

Chasing the threads of your laughter,

Scraping my knees on the pavement,

Not bothering to stop the bleeding,

Trying to find the warmth of that summer again.

Hating the ache in my chest when I think of you

Because I know you will never care, 

And you will never relinquish your grip on me. 

What the world told me

The world to told me to shrink, so I shrank

The world told me to love so I left

The world told me to be so I bent

What

          More

                    Do

                          You

                 Want

       From

Me

I have everything you want,

But it’s not right

You keep on telling me 

I’m wrong

And now you ask where my fight is?

My light went out a long time ago

Thanks

             To

                  You.

And I did everything you asked.

But it wasn’t enough.

How many times will I have to hide?

How much will I have to shrink inside?

I wear the mask that the world lovingly painted

And then forced onto me.

I feel gray today

Don’t remember what’s orange

Just weather we have