I could give you love

stronger than an eagle

that flies above the valley, 

wheeling in the sky.

I could give you love 

that will be older than the cypresses

on the peaceful hill

outlasting the world.

I could give you love more vivid than a fire,

love that gives life and light

to both of us

I could give you love more powerful than a river, freer than the wind,

pushing onward,

bursting banks

irresistible in a flood -

Oh, I could give you the world in my love,

catching the flash of your light

and giving it back to you, 

a thousand times increased.

The pain was so strong

I could have been dying

Yet I’m right where I’m supposed to be

When I feel unworthy of all this love

I’m still exactly where You placed me

And even if Your infinite Goodness allowed

That You should cause pain

How come You’re still here, beautiful as ever

Faithful as ever?

Even if there’s no such thing as Joy

Why should we wallow in our sad illusions

And why are we so afraid?

What makes pain a proper deterrent

If it comes anyway?

If there’s pain to be had, I’d rather leave it in an Artist’s hands

If there’s joy to be had, I’d rather dwell in it’s Source

There’s no end in sight, in this life

In this shadow of a speck of time

But the breath of dust that I am

Matters to the Author of Existence that You are

And nothing this side of eternity can change that kind of Love

I'm safe.

dead butterfly on the windowsill

lying in a graveyard of dirt and cobwebs

gossamar marrionette strings snapped

wings spread out like the residue of a snow angel.

one pane of glass disects the world into

yours and mine

antennae twitch towards the

glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling 

your constellations reconstructed in plastic

I wonder if you'll fly again in heaven.

I'm glad you've decided to join us now

decaying silently among us civilized folk.

dead butterfly

feel free to stay awhile

you're so pretty in death 

wish i could fold myself up enough times to fit inside the photo app / nestled in between the 2017 and 2018 albums / wish i could wake up and be 11 again / before my vision was tinted with tears / back when i could breathe without choking / heal my fractured lungs with hot glue and patterned tape / eyeshadow of crashed sidewalk chalk / running through empty grocery store aisles / held together by friendship bracelet string and dreams that hadn't been abandonded yet / take a bath in dirty river water to be clean again / maybe if i stay still enough / and wish hard enough / i'll turn into stone and be 11 forever

The dust settles,

Water's clear

I still can't read your expression

You pull me apart, like a flower

Petals tearing, 

can't let you in any farther

You say you'll leave me alone,

That I'll die young, forgotten and unknown

Empty promises, 

Hollow shells with which

You mask your intentions

When I pull away to lick my wounds

It's all my fault, I forced you to

If I dare shed a tear,

I'm guilt-trippin', gas-lightin'

Playing up on your fears

There's no escape,

It's all my fault, you never did a thing

I'll never amount to much,

And that's all proof you need

To take your every pain out on me

And it's true, I'm not perfect

I've got lots work, room to improve

But you suffocate me

With your venomed words

And barbed pleas

So let me go,

I just wanna be free

Only got so long 

before you break me

So just lemme go, 

Please.

~~~~~~~~~~

This is actually a song I wrote whilst trying to sort some feelings out. I'm thinking of making a lyric video or animatic and posting in online.