1:02 AM

I'm up conversing with my demons

(they're quite polite when you don't look them in the eye)

and somehow they smile more than i do.

it's technically tomorrow so maybe if i

stay awake then the night will last forever

(or at least until i die)

folding the seconds into paper cranes

I'll make a thousand before going to sleep

and then maybe in the morning my hands

will be too papercut to type anymore.

tearing at my eyelashes in the dark

because i really need something to wish on

and a couple more wishes might just save me. 

i wrote this a while ago and found it while cleaning out my google docs! it's inspired by the selkies of celtic mythology :D it's not my best work ever, but i like it! i think i want to write some more stuff concerning selkies, and some more narrative-ish poems in general.

sealskin

i. the coast is windy and 

cold today, the 

jagged cliffs looming behind me,

a limestone fortress

of nature’s design.

i used to love the coast;

the brine smelled of freedom and the

dark waters below, churning a frothing, angry white,

crashing violently against the rocks,

made me feel

alive.

but today, the brine only smells of 

regret, the salty spray too

reminiscent of tears, and the wild waves

pounding against the cliffs only

remind me that i, too, was once

untamed.

oh, what i’d give to feel the ocean

running through my veins once more. 

ii. i do not belong here, among

the cars and the trains and the buildings,

a populated graveyard of 

smoke and cement and steel—

no, this industrialized prison is not 

my home, and these people with 

their noise and their 

arrogance, ripping apart

their world

(though it is not solely theirs)

are not my family. 

this society presses upon me, 

suffocates me, 

traps me here, in this concrete

cage. 

iii. i stand on the beach, bare feet

digging into the rough, cold

sand and jagged bits of shell but

i don’t mind; the pain reminds me i’m 

alive.

the briny sea breeze stings my cheeks

and billows and snaps my pale pink shirt.

i clutch the stolen cloak close to my chest—

stolen? no, it’s rightfully mine.

i slip my sealskin like a shawl 

around my shoulders, 

pulling it close around me like a 

sleek and shimmering

blanket,

light gray like twilit snow flecked 

with fallen ash.

it is not like putting on a disguise, like hiding

behind some plastic masquerade mask—

no, this is more like shedding the 

cheap dollar store costume and becoming

me,

in my entirety.

iv. i dive into the sea,

the endless chasm of icy water,

leaving civilization behind because i never

belonged there with their

noise and lights and cars

and it’s fine because i

am an animal

once more.

First time trying this style of poetry! 

Wind

i. The wind blows

Heavily

Like it’s trying to

Blow me over

Like the rest of the world

Trying to shape me

Into what they

Want me to be

ii. She laughs when

I say that

The wind is

Against me

Then she adds,

“Is it not against

Everyone?”

iii. I don’t want to be shaped

By society like clay

I don’t want to be a part

Of the crowd any longer

I want to be my own

Individual (like all

Those posters say,

Yet know they are lying)

I think, no, I know

That I just can’t be

Another person following

The system of the world

iv. She would understand

If only she

Were here right now

Only she would know

How the wind batters me

But I can’t

Show her how

I truly feel about—

For fear that she, too

Like others

Will push me away

v. The wind is

Blowing again

Perhaps this time

Where the wind blows

I shall follow

I know a yeti

Her name is Betty

What she thinks is pretty is confetti

And she loves spaghetti

Plus she eats it with a machete!

Why are we afraid of the dark?

Is it because our eyes cannot penetrate

Cannot see beyond our nose?

Is it because innocent sounds become threatening

Become suspicious in the shadows?

Our hearts beat faster

Is it because our imaginations run wild

Run crazy in our minds?

Switching and flipping and twisting

Our hearts beat faster 

Glancing over our shoulders

Jumping at any noise

OUR HEARTS BEAT FASTER

A swaying branch in the breeze

Makes us gasp

Why are we so afraid of the dark?

Is it because a in the light

In the day things are revealed?

Is it because we can’t trust our senses

Can’t trust our eyes, our instincts?

Ourheartsbeatfaster

Is it because we are taught

Taught to learn that dark means evil?

Ourheartsbeatfaster

There is beauty in the dark

Stars in the sky

A moon smiling above

The sounds of crickets and frogs

A cooler break from the sun

Our breath slows

A different point of view 

Sometimes the moon is so bright

It’s like nature’s flashlight

But the darkness has beauty

If you can make peace

With the wild thoughts 

And slow the hearts

Our

Breath

Slows

The darkness heals our bodies

Our minds

It helps for dreams to come

And though it is secretive

And hides many surprises

The night is our friend

Our

Breath

Slows.

it’s snowing now

same as yesterday, when i 

told you everything would be ok.

i can’t 

look you in the eyes

lest you sense my lies;

read my heart like a plaque

embalmed in

metal and twisted plastic

embossed, but only skin-deep,

meet me 

back behind the library. i

envy your

reliance.

I drive 

Charcoal 

Across the page,

Chasing a darkness

I feel like I've seen before,

But can't quite place. 

Smudging, little

By little it all

Turns grey.

No more whte.

No more black.

Just grey,

All the way down

For ages. 

Maybe when I was 7 if someone had told me my body was fine

Maybe at age 8 if someone had tried to stop me from the hurt

Maybe when I was 9 if someone had given me the space to thrive

Maybe at age 10 if someone had held my hand and protected me

Maybe when I was 11 if someone had helped me get up from my fall

Maybe at age 12 if someone had said it was all right to express myself

Maybe if they did this all now things would be better

I doubt it