There was a time when

We still wished for "normal." 

Now that dream is dead. 

Sometimes I think

Back on those days

Put her

My old self

On a pedestal

She was amazing

She could do anything 

All the while exerting 

Minimal effort

Quiet and perhaps cold

Never ruffled 

On the outside

And as I know 

It was the same

Inside too

I miss her 

I wish I could be like her

I wish I could return to my past

But she'd seen too much

Been too broken

And now she's gone

No matter how hard I try

I can never return

To the way I used to be

No pain no sadness

No happiness excitement 

Nor fear

I suppose that's the only thing

I still maintain

No fear and no care

Some people give me funny looks

Why would you want to return 

To be an unfeeling monster like that

Because I already am

I make masks of emotion

For those around me

I know I should feel but don't 

Except for now I can be swaying

A bit easier

Sometimes I laugh when I'm alone

Or cry at the gaping emptiness deep within myself 

Or feel something flutter once in a while

But then I remember and wish I could 

Shut it all down go back to when I knew

Just what was happening

Some must think it's sad

That means no joy ever again

But for me

I would be willing to give it all up

To spare myself the pain and then go back

To how it was before 

i have two freestyle poems that i wrote on the spot <3 unedited and the first one's really bad at angsty but i like the rythm

shadows~

i used to be a beacon

shining, but the darkness

covered me in

sadness and i am

just like them 

ive fallen to the shadows 

you are a beacon

shining, but the darkness

will cover you in 

sadness and you will be

just like them

you'll fall to the shadows

everyone is a beacon

shining, but the darkness

will cover us in

sadness and we will be

just like them 

we all fall to the shadows 

--

this one's my favorite <3 

seventeen~

i remember when we danced

under the sky in the big field and

we thought no one could hurt us

so naiive and foolish

back when we were

seventeen 

i remember when you screamed

pushed me against the wall and

hurt me cause i said something wrong

so angry and hateful

back when we were

seventeen

i remember when we made up

you gave me flowers and 

took me out to lunch at the diner

so caring and desperate 

back when we were 

seventeen

i remember when it was midsummer

we said goodbye and went our seperate ways

now i think about you in my college dorm

so ordinary and normal

back when we were 

seventeen 

Our voices ring

In the silent

Still

Night.

Our voices cry out

For justice

For peace

Yet they do not listen

They push our voices aside

As if

They are not even

A single

Shadow

On the wall

We want peace

We want fairness

You pushed our voices aside

You ignored us

But you

Will

Pay. 

From, 

The Mysterious Top! 

there's an old saying about my town

that says we're higher than the fog

and lower than the snow 

but that's not true 

because today 

the fog has set in

and the mountains that once marched around my home

have disappeared 

shrouded by the blanket of fog 

there's something magical about being in a cloud

I slip outside

and begin to dance in the fog

as if I am part of some ancient ceremony 

worshiping mother nature 

the fog is my dress 

the world, my stage 

and 

for a moment 

I feel free 

~~~

Um, not sure where this came from, but I'm open to hearing any critiques you guys have!

I love it! I can just see you dancing in the fog in one of the little mountain towns I've passed through on some of my travels!

Admin

Broken Wings, Fading Heart

Once

Upon a time

I could fly

Above the clouds

Once

Upon a time

My heart was full

Nothing gone.

But now

My wings

Are broken

But now

My heart

Is fading

Away.

But 

My wings

Are healing

But

My heart

Is appearing

And maybe

Someday

I’ll soar

Again.

Feel the thrill run through your veins 

Like golden light,

Running running

Sugar-fused mana

Pumping pumping

Pumping through your veins

Perhaps never

Ever ever

stopping

Forever thump

Thump-thumping

Perhaps

I once had hope

that mocking

thing

once used to cope

with

the harshness of

the pain that whittled

me  

away 

forever belittled

by

internal forces;

No one else'll

ever

understand.