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All right, where were we? Ah yes, the battle. And the only one of my charries present for it is out hunting for a sniper.

Nygrune~

I move carefully through the thin forest. The total lack of sound coming from me is somewhat disconcerting, but I manage not to trip.

A soft whistle, and a far-off thwack. I trace the flight of the arrow towards the edge of the trees. The sniper was standing almost in the open, so if I approach from the trees I'll be more likely to get them from behind. I can't spot them anymore, though. They must have taken cover.

Another whistle, a distant scream mingling with the sounds of battle. I scan the forest's edge, comb every tree and stone. I am aided by the occasional arrows my quarry sends to introduce one more ally to death, then one more, one more. The price makes me wish even harder that I could do without the help.

Suddenly, there they are. A soft rustle, a muted glint. The sniper, my target. I watch them nock an arrow and draw their bow. They're taking an awfully long time to aim this one. All the better for me.

They're about thirty feet away, and I take a second to map my path before following it, pushing off the base of a tree for the final charge. My shield connects perfectly and I stand, having landed on my now-unconscious prey. Their bow and arrows are intact, so I take them. 

I look over at the unconscious sniper. I could take him captive, but there's not much reason. I could kill him, but that turns out to be easier said than done. I settle on tying him to a tree and poking him with an arrow when he wakes up to see if they're poisoned.

The moment I finish tying the gag, my sniper lets out a muffled groan.

"So, you're awake," I whisper, as the fact becomes clear. "Mind telling me if your arrows are poisoned?"

The sniper doesn't respond.

"Ah, well, I'll find out soon enough," I shrug, and prick his finger. I check him every few minutes, and it's not too long before he's in obvious discomfort. The part of me that feels bad is quieted when I remind it that he shot the girl who was covering for me and quite a few others.

I notice that the Resistance forces are starting to move back, although Catastrophe's is taking a beating. I check my quiver. Four arrows left. I make them count.

The sniper isn't going anywhere, but I knock him out again and conceal him as best I can before heading back to the medical tent.

A teenage human is sitting outside, a messenger bird on her finger. I notice that she's having trouble getting the scroll off the bird's leg, her other hand being heavily bandaged.

"Mind if I try?" I ask her.

"Sure, knock yourself out," the girl replies, offering me her unbandaged hand. The bird hops onto mine without fuss, and I easily relieve it of the message. The girl rolls her eyes and mutters something. I pretend not to hear.

"Harbor dead, funeral at Mer sundown tomorrow," I read. "And it's dated for today."

"Oh," says the girl. "That must be why we're pulling out."

"I see." I never met her personally, but I remember hearing about Queen Harbor of Mer and her alliance with the Resistance not too long ago. I'm glad we're attending the funeral. I ask the bird to take the message to Lycaella, and it flies away while I give the girl most of my healing spells and head off to spread the news.

Oh. I did not see that comment. OK, now the battle is over, and I think that I might be coming back from my SailHaven expedition.

Our transport touches down on a clear spot on the runway. I clamber down the ladder, still a little weak. At the bottom I sway a little, and Kristjan grabs my arm to steady me.

We quickly move to a waiting ground transport and get in. Marie stays behind. She is in no condition to travel with her leg, and she needs medical help. She is still angry that we decided to leave, but I hope that she doesn't hold it against us. 

Our transport drive out of the small airport and onto a road through the forest. We had already recieved word that the battle was won, but we had to see for ourselves and assess the situation. Not to mention help with cleanup.

The transport pulls to a stop at the ruins of the event hall. Some of the remains are still smoldering, and ashes fall through the air like snow.

We move as quickly as we can towards the battle field, passing others along the way. Some are carrying bodies to waiting transports. Others just sit and stare, watching their dead friends passing by. 

Reaching the sight, we quickly find Mina. She is staring out at all of the destruction with a pained but strong look. She seems resigned, and only speaks a few words to us when we reach her. Silently, we begin looking for those who are still alive. 

I'm walking through the rows of dead bodies when one catches my eye. It's Millie, one of the guards I worked with. She sometimes came in to help me in the machine shop, and would always tell the corniest jokes that made me laugh. She is spread out with her eyes closed, obviously dead. In that positon it almost looks like she is sleeping, but I know better.

Suddenly it all hits me. The death around me, the close calls, my almost-dying, losing another friend. I feel the tears well up in my eyes and spill over to wet my cheeks. I try to stop, but that just makes me cry harder, silent sobs shaking my body. It feels good to cry, but at the same time I hate it. 

Kristjan walks up beside me and puts his arm around my shoulder, supporting me slightly. He bows his head and squeezes my shoulder. 

Together we stand looking at the death and ruin around us. How much more can the Resistance take?

My mind is divided

Half of it feels sorry. All these souls, lost. Ally and enemy, they could have lived full lives and children…

The other I feel sick about.

The smell of death, the sound of slicing. The look of fear….

fEeLs GoOd.

ThE rUsH iS aLl I lIvE fOr.

I feel sick/

I FeEl GrEaT

I want to go home/

I wAnT mOrE

Shut up demon.

I'm in control.

I won't let the addiction control me.

Because no matter what.

War. It never changes. No matter what side ypu are on, is pain, suffering,

AnD JoY/

And hate. Rarely justice is solved 

Maybe there is something wrong with me.

Iustitiae -Justice- is the only thing that keeps demons at bay

I had permission from the author to do this. 

~~

There’s one body that I’m scared to look for. A few cat figures pop up on the soiled ground. But none of them match my Baron.

As I shuffle across the dirt, my foot kicks a coat. I look down and pick it up, and dread fills my heart. It’s his cloak.

I swear, Catastrophe has taken everything from me. My best friend, my sisters, one of the only individuals I could ever bring myself to love. My parents, the place I grew up in, my normality.

I swear I will never love again. If this is love, then why does it hurt so much?

And I also swear that I will do anything to kill Catastrophe. Make him suffer like I did. Make him slowly die. 

I’m slowly dying. Anger is boiling within me. It’s spilling over and seeping out of the cracks. I could scream and kill an entire army single handed. I take out my sword calmly before I start hacking at the trees, screaming and yelling. It’s not good to have this outburst in a public place, but I don’t care much about my image right now. I need to take this out before I actually kill someone.

After a couple minutes I collapse and clutch Baron’s cloak, gasping air quickly. I will not cry.  

I will not cry. 

I look up, scanning the battlefield again. I'm afraid to look, but I know I have to.

Then my eye falls on a cat-like figure on the outskirts of the battlefield. They are hunched over, clutching something. It's Mina.

I slowly move away from Kristjan, and his arm falls to his side. He waits before following me, keeping his distance.

As I get closer to Mina, I see that she is clutching a piece of fabric that looks like a cloak. She looks up when I get near and her face is twisted into a mask of grief and pain.

No, not Mina. Don't let her suffer like this. Oh Celesti no.

I reach her and crouch down next to her. I know that she doesn't want to cry, doesn't want to show weakness. So I will for the both of us. 

I put my arm around her and begin singing one of the parting songs I know. I've known it since I was a baby, but I don't know how. I've had to sing it several times, each one a new heartache. But this time I am singing it for someone else's grief.

My voice is awful, and I'm half-crying while I sing, but I keep going. If I stop, then I know that I will break. 

I wish it didn't have to be this way.