GloomyBear – it'd be awesome if you'd read along! everyone who wants to is welcome to read and comment or predict what's happening and such, even if they're not in the lodge. But since you commented technically before it's actually started anyway, is there a theme you'd like me to work in anywhere? Like maybe I could have a wolf somewhere. not necessary though, just if you want

Hawkstar, could you answer about Echo Rose? It'd be fine to keep her age but having her be 9 or 10 would still be nice… also Echo Rose is a really cool name

Celine, thanks for all the comments on Chinese food and such! Is fried rice a thing in China/Taiwan (I feel like you might be Taiwanese if i'm right which i might not be but I think there's a whole history there i know nothing about so)? If so, could I work that in?! are there any specific things that make it Chinese if it is? (i like fried rice too much. but i think that's technically more Hawaiian than Japanese… idk) and it sounds like if i have any questions about that you'd be open to them, but double checking that's right. There's already going to be plenty of Japanese Hawaiian (kind of like the mix more than anything) culture in here so it'd be fun to have Chinese culture too! oh, and also there'll probably be tea stuff so if you know anything about that that's more Chinese that could be helpful. you don't have to answer it'd just be fun to work in. and i love the wooden dragon idea 😀 

thanks for the nice comments even if it was a bit disjointed and rambly XD

Introducing Reshinerr

Reshinerr is hard to properly describe without writing from his perspective but we'll try! *oh nothing just me realizing I never gave him a last name the shame* well i’ll be figuring that out. In the meantime: who is this apparently not really a human? He certainly doesn’t know, and looking at all the basic things i don't know apparently i don't either even though he's like my favorite character and i spend way too much time doing stuff with him.

His pronouns are he/him for now, but I think he might also use co/cos. I don’t know honestly. He’s very much genderqueer though. At some point we might add like moss/mossself, or maybe sprout/sproutself, or some other things. But for now the only certain thing is he/him. I think he'll start using the name Sketch at some point but idk if he hates Reshinerr. idk if it's a very gendered name because i made it up

I still have no idea what his exact mix of races is, but he’s Hawaiian, Japanese, Black, and possibly White 😀 (yes all of my characters are Asian and queer deal with it XD) I’m not sure if he has dark brown eyes like in the picture or if he has green/grey eyes. I keep going back and forth, partially because it seems like every mixed race character has to have “pretty” (light) eyes, but on the other hand there’s some stuff that i want to go into with the green/grey eyes… it really doesn’t effect this ski lodge though.

He’s very much autistic 😀 possibly ADHD too but it’s hard to tell because it could kind of be both. Either way he tends to either have no interest in something whatsoever or spend hours making up lore around it. He likes stuffies (especially his world with his stuffies) and plants and forests, and these things basically make up a “bigger” special interest. But he also really likes drawing and art (mostly of plants, forests, and stuffies XD). and for this ski lodge he mostly has joint and muscle pain i guess. Maybe muscle weakness too. It’s not an actual thing, just “throwing a bunch of symptoms into a top hat and letting my cat eat the ones I use” like I got XD (i didn’t actually do the top hat thing) but his speech varies. 

He’s very anxious and doesn’t like people. He does enjoy making jokes, though! Sometimes they make sense to other people. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they’ll even have a proper punchline! Which isn’t always intentional. He tends to take random stuff and go with it and make big stories. 

He’s 17 but hates it because people always expect him to act differently than he does. But also it just kind of feels wrong. 

And of course we must introduce Speckle! She’s kind of like an idealized version of Reshinerr in some ways – her flaws are silly, not debilitating. They use she/they, and I’ll probably alternate by sentence??? Reshinerr likes to wrap her around his shoulders. They’re very beat up – their nose is threadbare, and though their fur was soft once it’s mostly pilled and matted at this point. Reshinerr likes the texture though. He tends to talk with her in his head. Reshinerr has a very active imagination, because it’s more interesting than the real world.

Anyway this is long but i adore him so much so here he is! Ignore that the picture has a few semi-major flaws and the picture doesn’t capture the colors very well… i can never take good pictures *sobs* also don't ask what's going on in it i have no idea

sooo i posted something but it needed a ton more editing so here's the actual thing!! a bit of it's stolen from the actual book oops (it's my own book i wrote it i'm not plagiarizign). anyway. the new arrival is here. for reference, the part where Reshinerr freaks out a bit is like a half meltdown. which is basically like a panic attack but you also kind of lose control of yourself. i'm probably slightly toning down meltdowns for the CB but that's very much just a mini one since it got cut short (for Reshinerr, other people might have milder ones)  and if i don't specify whose POV it is it's almost certainly Reshinerr's. also the better picture of Reshinerr is actually the same picture with saturation and brightness turned up a bit, but it looks more like the actual picture than the other did. oh and if you don't get anything just ask!

also i'll probably getting around to drawing all the characters at some point. I want to draw Onyx in this outfit… 

and thanks everyone who commented!! Silver, glad you find my writing whimsical, that's definitely one of my intentions.  

more chaos next post, whenever that happens! i sincerely hope it's not just me who finds this fun/funny O_o

~Part 2~ (Reshinerr)

I pause outside the door to the bookish part of the library. It’s like the biggest, grandest home. Bookshelves rise from the midnight blue carpet, all the way up to the ceiling so high it’s draped with clouds and stars like fluttering moss. Platforms of solid nebulae ease up and down the shelves across the room. They’re for you to step on. without them, most of the books would be unreachable, unless you’re a giant or a mayfly. 

And once you get inside, an open doorway reveals more and more rooms that have just as many books or even more. I still don’t know how whoever made this place got enough books to fill it.  But then, I’m not sure anyone did make this place. I’m not even sure I’m not stuck in a year-long dream. But hey. it’s a refuge from the nightmare i used to be stuck in, so i’ll take it. Just don’t let me wake up any time soon. 

(was it a nightmare? I don’t remember, not really, and it can’t be that bad and i shouldn’t complain and…)

Not that I know what happened, of course. I’ve thought of looking into it: falling down a wishing well, wasting a nickel to see if my past’s inside. But at the bottom, where algae snakes up the walls and every heartbeat echoes in the dark, there’s only frigid water and pennies that click with every step and air full more with panic than oxygen. A dungeon of everything I wish could be, of everything that actually did happen.

I just push the thoughts away, when I can.

So I open the door to the library. And the first thing I hear is arguing.

I almost choke. One of the voices is completely unfamiliar.  “But like – why did you throw your bag into the fire? Like seriously, that’s just -”

“I say again: I promise I can throw yours in too.” That’s Hideto. My heart sinks.

“How?”

“Oh, so you really want to know, do you  -”

Something thuds, someone says “ouch”, and there are more thuds and the whoosh of something catching on fire. 

“WHAT I HATE YOU -”

I step in slowly until I can see. Hideto is standing by the fire, arms crossed, eyebrows raised, a smirk on his face. The person I’ve never seen before gestures wildly as they sputter like a deflating balloon. A large leather suitcase smolders in the fire.

Hideto darts over to the bookshelves, then back to the fire, then back and forth again. “Yours isn’t coming back! Yes! I love this place!”

“What the heck? Yours came back. Why isn’t mine? I’m gonna – I’m gonna -” More sputtering, more gestures with sharper corners.

I’ve never seen the fire go out. It’s always burning, releasing clouds of smoke shaped like planets or stars instead of sparks. The logs the Library uses are swirls of nebulae and stars caught in deep black charcoal, but I’m starting to think it’s less magic and more the neverending bag supply. Hideto has thrown his own bag into the fire at least four times, and that’s just the times I’ve seen. 

The suitcase flickers in the flames. Suddenly it vanishes, appearing in the newcomer’s arms the way it must have been before it caught aflame. But they’re still gesturing. The suitcase falls on their toes.

The newcomer yelps, hopping around and holding their foot and whimpering. Hideto sighs, shaking his head. “Alas. It’s back.’”

The newcomer pauses hopping to cross their arms over their chest and scowl. “What do you mean?! All my clothes are in here!” Then they glance down at their foot. “Oh. Oh yeah.” They resume their hopping and whimpering.

Hideto snorts. “Well, too bad – Reshinerr! Good timing!” 

I’m frozen. Hideto saw me. And now the other person did. I collapse to the floor, rock back and forth against the wall. Who is this person? Why are they here? They’re not supposed to be here! Hideto isn’t supposed to be here! Whimpers escape me, loud enough Hideto must be able to hear them, and I can’t stop them and my arms throw my stuffed cat Speckle across the room and now I don’t have her and I don’t want to have another meltdown and –

Hideto clears his throat, holding Speckle out for me to grab. “Your cat. What’s their name?”

I look up, mind frozen. I’m frozen for a long time, just staring. Hideto just waits.

I fumble several times before finally managing to grab her. “S-Speckle?”

“Speckle?” Hideto repeats, tilting his head. “That’s a nice name.”

I freeze. I hadn’t realized he’d been asking me a question. I nod regardless. Should I have nodded? does it even matter?

I stand up and step to the side, trying to stare at the new arrival while still keeping Hideto in view. The newcomer’s hair is impeccably styled – half of it black, half white, styled into an intricate quiff dotted with glittery stars. They’re wearing a midnight blue cardigan with yellow star pockets that I wish I had and black pants with galaxy fabric sewn in a ruffle on the bottom. Their sneakers are covered in dirt. 

The new arrival stares back intently. I duck under a table, shoving a chair out of the way.

“So,” the person says, hands on their hips, scowling. “You’ve met him, as I take it. Me, though? I’m Onyx. Trust me, I’m the one you want on your side.” 

just so people see it 😀

AHHHH LIZARDS (and amphibians of course. it's not all about the komodo dragons and garter snakes, what about the valiant salamanders?) i just drew Izar and i think it's the best thing i've ever drawn -? okay probably not but HE'S ADORABLEEEE!! i'll post zir tomorrow 😀 if Hex doesn't like his character design i'll steal it for one of my own characters XD i honestly think it's the drawing more than the design though… frankly it's not that good i don't know why i'm this excited

also i really should not be getting this far into the actual writing before it's all planned out… why do i feel like this ski lodge is going to be a huge mess ToT 

whoa i think my CAPTCHA says rpppp. on… a ski lodge… okay???? i am going to try to do some mildly interactive parts though maybe 

i am going to look back at this thread in a few years and cringe so hard aren't i

anyway. i will introduce everyone's characters eventually, but I want to give each character enough time so i can't introduce them all at once 😀 

anyway Celine – thank you so much!! To be honest i think the whole drawing is pretty cute heh. I don’t usually do the shaded nose bridge thing but i like it for him.

Also now that i’ve actually looked at the Izar picture again i actually like it… idk i still don’t know if i can post it after my late-night comment heh. I forgot his glasses anyway though so i need to add them. 

But anyway have a picture of Hideto in the meantime! Ignore the pencil lines. Also add him to the list of queer Asians heh (he’s trans and gay and greyromantic, and probably fully Japanese). Idk if it’s going to post well we’ll see   

this one isn't the best on its own but *shrugs* and wow that Hideto picture is like 3 times bigger than it is in real life XD anyway onto the actual writing – autistic people not getting insults until they wake up in the middle of the night panicking like 3 years later squad >:D also i didn’t actually introduce pronouns but we’ll just skip over that. 

~

I stare, getting out from under the table. Onyx is the one I want on my side? “But he just knocked you over. And he burned your bag. And -”

“Never mind that. Look at him. ‘What’s your cat’s name?’ are you a babysitter, Hideto?” Onyx grins. He's staring at me, though. Not Hideto. 

Hideto freezes for a second before feeling in his bag and stepping towards Onyx. “I would suggest you shut up.”

Onyx steps back. “Why?”

Hideto straightens. “Because if you don’t I will get a ton of chartreuse dye and i will cover all your clothes in it and i will put it in all your food and it’ll just be chartreuse forever. Oh, how about I also make you some chicken noodle soup or an orange cake, only when you bite into it it’s actually mint flavored. Mint and pepper and orange. And chartruese flavored of course, because that’s a thing that definitely exists.”

I burst into laughter.

Onyx stares at me, rolls his eyes, and looks back at Hideto. “Like i care. Are you actually going to do that anyway?”

Hideto shrugs. “How about I take scissors to your hair then?”

Onyx’s hands fly to his head. “What scissors? You don’t even have any.”

Hideto’s hand flies out of his bag holding a bright orange pair of kid-sized scissors, and his other makes a thumbs up. “Ta-da!”

Onyx yelps, jumping backwards. “What is wrong with you? Get away from me!”

“What if I didn’t?”

“Come on -”

“But you see.” Hideto steps forward. “What if I didn’t?”

“You’re impossible -”

“You don’t know I’m going to cut your hair. Maybe this star place did the real magic and gave me impulse control!”

“Oh great. That makes me feel so sure my hair isn’t going to get cut by some babysitter with no fashion sense -”

“Shut up!”

Something thuds, and a vase shatters.

Onyx flinches, gesturing again. “What the heck! Don’t throw scissors! What did you break? Are we in trouble? Should we get out of here?”

Hideto groans. “Why did I throw them when I could have cut your hair?”

Onyx holds his head like it hurts. “What is wrong with you?”

Should I grab the scissors so no one else can? I can’t let anyone to get hurt. But – but maybe I don’t care and i shouldn’t intervene so they don’t hate me. But if i don’t then they’ll have scissors and i won’t have anything to protect myself with… 

I can’t breathe. I need to get out of here. If I do it’ll just draw more attention to me.

Hideto stares boredly at the shattered vase. “Oh look. It’s back.” 

The shattered pieces flicker out of existence, and Hideto races towards the reformed vase and slams it onto the ground. The sound of flying bits of ceramic reverberates in my head, and I can't breathe. Hideto just flinches, holding up his hand. A drop of blood rolls off.

Onyx sighs. “You’re not just a babysitter, you’re like – evil or something.”

“Sure, fine. Why would I care?”

“Who wants to be evil?”

“Who cares?”

Onyx scoffs. “How are you both too evil and too sensitive?”

At that Hideto flinches. “Says the person who was in so much pain because a suitcase -”

“It was heavy! And let me go. I’m tired of you.”

“What if I didn’t?”

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

Hideto shrugs, letting Onyx pass and boredly picking at his hand. “You realize that wouldn’t have been hard to get out of.”

“Oh be quiet. I’m going to my room.”

Hideto yelps and darts in front of faer. “Wait!”

Onyx blinks. “Why?”

Hideto freezes, then hops from foot to foot. “Because I’m boreddddd.”

Onyx is silent. Then they start laughing so hard fae doubles over. “You’re bored? That’s what this is about? Why don’t you terrorize him instead?” He points to me. My stomach flips.

Hideto shrugs. “I guess I just hate you more.” 

And after that, Onyx is gone, and we’re alone. 

so people see

okay. so Hex, uhhh this exists. to be honest i kind of like it especially now that i've colored it (though the colors are slightly different in real life – I can NEVER get colors to look good in my pictures. unless it's my computer screen i guess). It's rare that a drawing goes from a sketch to an inked drawing to a inked and colored drawing well; often I end up liking the sketch and then hating the inked version, or liking the inked version and hating it with color XD I like his face though. the shading on the shirt is less obvious in real life (in a good way). anyway. i'm stalling. whyyy did i post that late night comment XDDD i wish i had taken a picture of just the ink outline though… it looks different with the colored pencil and i had to redo part of it in colored pencil so it looks worse.

Next installment will be coming soon! In the meantime an unimportant update that i felt like writing anyway and a few questions:

@Arlo – can you please give Rell a personality? I guess I forgot to ask, sorry about that. Also it’s great that two of our characters are circus people, that’s fun 😛 

@Hawkstar, any thoughts on Echo Rose's age? (see other comments) 

Unimportant/rambly update begins here: obvious disclaimer that Reshinerr is only one character and therefore only one representation of autism. And technically one that’s maybe more “stereotypical”? But in that case it just means like visible so it’s not really a good argument. Like people are like “oh it’s stereotypical for an autistic character’s voice to be monotone” and maybe but then they make it sound like a bad thing instead of just a thing that happens. Obviously there are a lot of other presentations. For instance most people online have much milder meltdowns, and some people mask, and some people can’t talk at all, and that sort of thing. However any character i relate to as far as symptoms is never written well.  

Which brings us to the update on writing style: in previous installments i have been somewhat generous with my descriptions of other characters’ emotions and, in general, Reshinerr’s understanding of them and anxiety from them. While the general idea won’t change, in general i’m going to start doing less of this. In an attempt to bring across Reshinerr’s anxiety i’ve been having him think about specific things he might have done wrong. But i find that slightly unrealistic for him and his personality because like uhhh i can’t actually even like basic idea of what i’m trying to say even as a concept but like… i think that actually says a good amount actually. Which also explains that i kind of find it difficult to write in a realistic way. Anyway i’m going to be writing him more like my actual thoughts now is what i’m saying. There will still be plenty of anxiety, it’ll just be different. Obviously he’s not me, but quite a bit of him is based off of me.

This is mostly because of an issue i have with the general trends of how autistic characters in books are portrayed. Basically it’s because in general, the only time autistic characters are portrayed in a remotely respectful way is when they’re very independent (generally with a heavy focus on masking and often a mild disdain or just heavy ignorance for anyone who isn’t like that why), and the only time any disabled character who isn’t independent is ever portrayed is when they’re actually a huge genius. Both of those are fine on their own but they’re really the only options, and like that it’s not great. I feel like the books i have read don’t work in a lot about internal thoughts in a way that feels less neurotypical. Which is probably intentional. But it does kind of ruin the relatability and make reading harder and i’m already bad at reading. 

Anyway the only characters that kind of act more like i tend to (though that varies wildly and there’s a bunch of weird stuff like i can bake (but not put stuff in the oven i’d probably burn myself or fall XD) but not get tater tots out of the toaster oven heh, or i can write all this but not like basic stuff or like in real life) are usually like the nuisance characters who maybe the main character gets an arc about learning to be somewhat nice to if we’re lucky. I remember this character who was really good as far as symptoms went, but her purpose was entirely a nuisance for the main character to hate. Although even those characters are still usually more normal than me in other ways… ah well. and then you see people saying that like "that's not what real autistic people act like" or that sort of thing. anyway.

anyway idk how to end this so *ends*