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Random Things My
Random Things My Friends Have Said 2
Heck yeah I'm bringing this back. I doubt this needs much explanation, right? Feel free to post your own! Some of these have really funny stories behind them. I'll tell some of the more exciting ones if you're interested!
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"I shall slander away till the end of my days."
"How did you manage to get yourself stuck inside a locker?"
"Whatever you do, don't spread your legs."
"Do cockroaches even eat bread?"
"Rest in peace, lobster crate. You will be missed."
"Macaws? Macao? Maracas? ... I'll go home."
"Excuse me I'm very Berthilda."
"It's just a water gun!"
"I need my vice president with me for inter-species relations."
"Yeah, it's not like these are my actual clothes or anything— OH WAIT! THEY ARE!"
"We're the queens of foosball, so bow down, suckers."
"I said fudge this time, are you proud?"
"Can you have funerals for inanimate objects?"
"I wanna be a snake when I grow up."
"But Farmer Ben isn't even a potato farmer, he's a black market potato dealer."
"Sorry we're late, Ms. Gomez, we were summoning a chicken ghost in the bathroom."
"If someone ever starts doing this to you in the movie theater, leave."
"I'm afraid that I'm going to have to arrest you for eggicide."
"Thea, Give me back those fingernails this instant!"
"... So then I smashed our child onto the sidewalk. Sorry."
"I mean, who else would do squats on a bike rack?"
"Guess what? We were almost kidnapped at Starbucks!"
"I'm not [censored] nervous, what the [censored] would make you think I'm [censored] nervous? I'm cool, calm, and collected and I'M NOT [censored] NERVOUS."
"Full offense, but you need new friends."
"Prayer circle for Owen's sanity."
"By the way, I'm your mom now."
"YOU! PUT THAT SWORD DOWN THIS INSTANT!"
"Man, this would be a really bad time for Scott to walk in."
"Squaw squaw I'm a seagull!"
submitted by Abigail S., age 12, Nose in a Book
(May 3, 2017 - 6:43 pm)
(May 3, 2017 - 6:43 pm)
"A person's hair is a mirror of their soul."
"I don't really have a relationship with Grace's hair so."
"I'M CHECKING AT MY DOOR AGAIN CAUSE IT BETTER BE THERE."
"Be extra, Amazon!!"
"No shhh Sherlock."
"But not my king. Her name is Willa and she slays life."
"Dyana your sister is a [censored] legend!"
"I'm at a restaurant and outside there is a crazy man in the street who attacked a woman and pulled a hubcap off a car and the police just came and ma gosh."
"This chat is 50% arguing, 50% randomness and 0% productivity."
"I am my own pillows, thank you very much."
"I like sneks with rolls."
"But it's weird since I'm really tired and it's about xq28."
"Grace have you seen me?? I walk into a pole like three times a day."
"My fate has been sealed. I will never be happy again. I got braces today."
"If the ladies from Hocus-Pocus go to the beach does that make them sandwitches?"
"I FINALLY found the frying pan!"
"I left for an hour, came back, and now I'm really confused." — "Get used to it, honey."
"Then you'd be a tyrant over those you love most."
(May 7, 2017 - 2:31 pm)
"You let go of me right now, or I swear I'll buy a piccolo!"
"NEVER buy painted intsruments! It ruins the sound and absorbs all the vibrations and sounds AWFUL, so-" [Teacher:] "Sara, I told you guys to be quiet." [Sara:] "Sorry, I'm just passionate about my instruments."
"What color is green for you? [slight pause] Wait, that doesn't make any sense, does it? Shoot." [slowly oozes under desk]
"You know what's a cute instrument?" "Not the viola." "Ok, for your information, the viola is not cute. It is cool."
"My phone sounds like a duck in the morning!"
"Ooh, is that dried mango in your lunch?" "What? No, that's a veggie burger with cheese!"
(May 10, 2017 - 9:06 pm)
"I love how Julianna and I are just so disgusted and Lucy is all like 'This is so fun!!'"
"Lucy, get over here with my backpack!!"
"So we're chasing Israel now?! Cool!"
"You're a liar." "No, I'm not." "That was a lie." "No, it wasn't." "Yes, it was." "Yeah, you're right."
"I broke a bracket off the same day I got braces."
"Lucy, I love how your stories have at least one magical thing in them."
"Remember when we went on that water ride and Lucy got the INSIDE of her dad's jacket wet?"
"WHY WON'T THE GEYSER WORK?!?!?"
"Don't worry, your flip phone should be just fine, my bag is waterproof."
"Hey, how you doing? I'm doing just fine. I lied, I'm dying inside."
"At the end of this, we're all going to be so sick of each other."
"Clairissa says she doesn't have time for the Prison of Death Collab Story that we're doing."
"You don't have to call me 'Smol Child' just because I'm older than you! I'm taller than you, that must count for something!"
"She's a monster, She'll kill you if you're standing up!"
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Guess which of these I said myself!
(May 11, 2017 - 11:21 am)
"Wait! Guys! We need to make it unfair for me!" This was just so random and hilarious. XD
(May 11, 2017 - 9:11 pm)
Wanny try to guess which of the quotes above was actually, 100%, said by me?
(May 11, 2017 - 10:40 pm)
All my quotes somehow got deleted, so I hope I remember them all! xD here you go!
"I FELT THE GOOSE THERE WAS A GOOSE"
"hit the girl out of the way with a pixie stick, then throw the remains of the pixie stick all over the bus so everyone is coated in sugar, then sit down next to the girl you like and say 'you're really sweet'" (me giving relationship advice..)
"Everyone's a winner, but we're the winners"
"Kalei, you can play the triangle and I'll play everything else, we'll be a discount twenty one pilots!"
"it's not what's or who you know it's what [the internet] decides to recommend to people, I mean, really though."
"I'm just going to slice some chocolate and call it meat!"
"Twilight Sparkle is a dictator."
"I just realised I'm at a guitar lesson and I'm wearing my ukulele shirt oh gosh this is awkward"
"You misspelled 'dot' yet you correctly wrote 'tsunami'....?"
"I just like the song because it sounds like we're saying 'doughnut' in one part"
"Yeah but she's an extrovert. I'm a potato."
"Noo! It's the scary bell that kills reading!"
Definitely forgetting a lot, but I have to go!
(May 12, 2017 - 7:32 am)
"You have to BE the sandwich"
"You guys may be too amature to know this, but all good acting teachers talk about sandwiches."
"I mean, we're looking at the spotlight, and it's blinding us! HAHAHA!"
"I know of omelets."
"No internal organs this time, Mariana."
"I thought that guy needed to drink some water. [pause] YOU NEED SOME MILK" (That's one of those memes, ugh.)
"So we put a bouncy house in Trump Tower, and bring in a bunch of four-year-olds. That way no one can tase them!"
"I knew someone who used to be a potato. But then he became a marshmallow. And this is why you would like Grace."
"Can I touch your hair in a nonromantic way?"
"So then (this is so steriotypical) they meet in a supermarket, and they just look at each other and LOOK AWAY! Ughhhhh!"
(May 12, 2017 - 4:03 pm)