See, I've got completely different feelings about the straight flag - which is whether it should even be a thing at all. I've always felt like pride flags were LGBTQIA+ people embracing who they were and having courage to show it to the world. And straight people… never had to hide who they were in the first place. But that's not my place to decide what's right and what's wrong, what's offensive and what's not offensive. I currently consider my sexuality unlabeled and am questioning, so I wouldn't call myself straight, or bi, or pan, or lesbian or anything else. So it's not really up to me what's offensive to the queer community.
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submitted by Periwinkle, age Pi, Somewhere in the stars (June 11, 2023 - 6:01 pm)
Ahh, no, I totally get this. I was just ranting about how it doesn't have color, ahaha. Now that I've read your viewpoint (which is quite valid, by the way! I didn't think of it that way since--well--I don't know anyone personally that's queer or anything, so...), I have to agree with you.
Actually, I met a queer couple at Starbucks. So I have met one couple, but that's all. They were beautifully married and had been together for--if I'm remembering correctly--47 years. 47 years. It was so interesting to meet them. They were the nicest people! I think they were lesbian, but I may be mistaken.
I meant no offense to the queer community! I was--again--just ranting about how the straight flag has no colour. :)
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submitted by Endless_Parodies, age Eternities, Gazing at the stars (June 11, 2023 - 8:47 pm)
Well, the straight flag is kinda tricky. It's absolutely ok to be proud to be straight! It can actually take a lot of courage to discover that you're really straight. I'm, ya know, clearly not speaking from experience here, being omni and genderfluid, but I really admire my friends who are straight, because many of the people in my friend group aren't, and it's human nature to want to fit in, but they don't and it doesn't bother them.
But the concept of straight pride and the flag that goes with it is often (although not always) used in a homophobic way, to say "I'm proud to be straight and I'm proud that I'm not queer."
But there's another flag, the ally flag. It's actually based partially on the straight flag, but also partially on the six-color pride flag. It does have color on it, and it says "I'm proud to be straight because that's who I am, and I'm also proud to be a friend to people who aren't."
You probably didn't know about the ally flag or the sometimes-negative connotations the straight flag can carry, so it's fine!
Also, the queer community isn't just the queer people--it's all of the wonderful allies too! And yes, there are some queer events that are just for queer people. But there are also some that are just for aliies, although they are rarer. It is my personal belief that there should be more events for allies to hang out, because they're a special wonderful group of people, and it's good for everybody to get to hang out with and hear the experiences of people like them. I feel like the concept of an ally community should be more firmly established than it is, because even though y'all are a wonderful part of the queer community and the queer community is part of the not-very-established-but-still-there ally community, it's good to acknowledge our ally friends, and also acknowledge that not everything is about us and that you all need a space to be about you. You know, you, Parody, are part of the group of magnificent people who can see both sides of the story. Often, the queer people see the queer side of the story and the non-ally straight people see the straight side of the story. I believe that it will be the allies who will take the stage and lead the way in helping the rest of us learn to see both sides too.
Please note: Since I don’t know a better word, in this comment, “cishet” includes not a-spec (ace, aro, etc), not intersex, and generally conforming to gender roles; basically not queer. (I think cishet technically just means cis and straight.) Also, content warning. There’s a lot of talk about discrimination in this comment. Also, thanks to Parody for taking criticism! This relates to the straight flag and also and (respectfully) disagreeing with Scuttles to some extent.
Obviously there’s nothing wrong with being cishet! It’s not like being queer is somehow “better” than being cishet. But that also translates into the fact that being cishet isn’t better than being queer. And the problem is, people act like being queer is far, far worse.
To this day, queer people are treated as lesser-than, or even hated, by society. You don’t need to dig far to figure out how, especially these days. Hate crimes are still an issue. People are still often queerphobic, even in little ways that still hurt a lot. The literal government is taking away our rights (especially trans rights) as we speak.
I agree that being cishet can probably feel like “not fitting in” or “not having a community”. And I agree that being cishet is just as beautiful as being queer, and I agree that allies are important. And if someone was making someone feel unwelcome because they were straight, that’s absolutely NOT okay.
HOWEVER. There is a big difference between simply not fitting into a friend group of queer people (without being pushed out of it for no reason while being perfectly decent) and not fitting into the world at large. You say it’s human nature to want to fit in. That’s true. And in the general world, to be queer is to not fit in. Only cishets can be “normal”. (It’s obviously more complicated than that, but still.) If you’re cishet, you can probably talk about your girl/boyfriend without fear of things from awkward stares to physical violence. (I'm purposefully leaving out people who don’t use those words because that complicates things quite a lot.) If you’re cishet (and use the “standard” pronouns for your gender and have a white name), your name and pronouns will probably be respected inherently. You won’t have to act like you’re someone else, and you won’t be put in danger for who you are. If you’re cishet, you don’t have to come out in the first place, and your safety doesn’t depend on how okay your parents are with queer stuff. And you have your gender and orientation affirmed and treated as "normal" since birth.
Also, are allies part of the queer community? Or are they their own thing? I certainly don’t think they should be able to call themselves queer or LGBTQIA+. Because, simply put, they’re not. The A stands for a-spec. Allies are important, amazing people - but if they’re not queer, they’re not queer, and it’s that simple. Now that I’ve reread your comment, I’m not thinking you were saying this, but it still kind of feels like you were, so I’m leaving it.
As for an ally community, I think that there should be places for allies and queer people to meet and places with an emphasis on allies (though all of them should absolutely have queer people as well because I do not trust cishet people to speak on our behalf). But I think you’re forgetting the purpose of having places for queer people in the first place. The purpose isn’t making allies feel a little less left-out. The purpose isn’t making cishets a bit more comfortable. The purpose is making sure that queer people survive. Usually, this translates into just being a safe and fun place for queer people to hang out; but nonetheless, the purpose is helping queer people in a hostile world.
I don’t completely disagree with your comment, but I do feel like there’s a lot of things that it’s missing, and I do feel like it overstates how bad cishet allies have it compared to actual queer people. And like, if someone does feel left-out or like they’re “less important” because they're cishet, that’s okay, and they should have a place to talk about it - hence the ally-focused places I mentioned. And nobody’s struggles matter less because they’re the “norm”. It’s just that they don’t struggle in one specific way. White, cishet, abled, and otherwise very privileged people can absolutely suffer more than the most marginalized; but the most marginalized have suffering by default, by being who they are. That’s what we’re trying to change.
Sorry this is so late; I’ve had a lot of trouble putting this into words/actually typing it and then anxiety about posting it. Sorry for the long post, Admins.
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submitted by Blackfooted Bobcat (June 15, 2023 - 5:07 pm)
I absolutely agree! Thank you for so cleanily putting this into print, BB. You never cease to impress me with the way you command your words! Love ya~ <3
*screams* My town painted a couple crosswalks rainbow! I'm happy about that, not so much my dad, buuuuuuuut. I'm getting an omni pin for my bag and I'm pretty much outto everyone I know (except a few friends I don't see alot)! YEAH! HAPPY PRIDE!
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submitted by Reuby Moonnight (June 12, 2023 - 6:20 am)
Older CBer here-- just dropping in to wish everyone a happy pride month! When I used to be active on here, I unfortunately was not particularly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community that I am now a part of. But as I've gotten older, I've come to realize that 1. I am, in fact, not straight and 2. there was no reason for me to be prejudiced against LGBTQ+ people who are just trying to live their lives. In a roundabout way, I think the CB contributed to that realization for me. Anyway, this is just a roundabout way of saying that I'm happy that the CB has continued to be a safe space, and that no one should ever make you feel like you're weird or broken or confused just because you're different than them. Happy pride everyone!
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submitted by that’s a secret! (June 13, 2023 - 10:09 pm)
I'm so happy that the CB is as diverse and accepting and wonderful as it is, because otherwise, I don't think I would have been exposed to the LGBTQ+ community, and I don't think I would have been exposed to labels such as "bi" or "omni" or "pan", which are labels I've been thinking about for myself, maybe. So, thank you, to everyone on the CB, for making it the awesome place it is, and happy pride month!!!!!
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submitted by Forest Nymph, age Immortal, Playing the Harp (June 14, 2023 - 5:32 pm)
Happy pride month everyone! Good news, I'm finally out to my mom about my genderfluidness! She was really supportive, which was nice. Also, my friend, and crush, (demiboy, he/they in case you were wondering) confessed that they like me and I told him that I liked them back! That was very relieving. Most importantly, I'm glad that everyone on the CB is really supportive and kind because I think that has helped me the most on my self discovery journey!
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submitted by Lord of the shadows , He/him :D (June 15, 2023 - 11:24 am)
Hi everyone, happy Pride Month!! I myself am unsure of my orientation...last year I was completely convinced I was bi but honestly I think I might be straight, or at least more attracted to the opposite gender than my own. Still, no matter what, I completely support the lgbtq+ community and am so happy to celebrate with you all!! <3:)
Wow starry sky, I'm going through the same thing. I liked girls and boys for a while and then I've mostly been liking boys recently. Also because we don't really have a lot of gay or bi girls at my school, so I'm planning on just staying as bi.
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submitted by Palm, age 12 moons, Rainwing Village, Pyrrhia (June 17, 2023 - 8:24 am)
(June 11, 2023 - 6:01 pm)
Ahh, no, I totally get this. I was just ranting about how it doesn't have color, ahaha. Now that I've read your viewpoint (which is quite valid, by the way! I didn't think of it that way since--well--I don't know anyone personally that's queer or anything, so...), I have to agree with you.
Actually, I met a queer couple at Starbucks. So I have met one couple, but that's all. They were beautifully married and had been together for--if I'm remembering correctly--47 years. 47 years. It was so interesting to meet them. They were the nicest people! I think they were lesbian, but I may be mistaken.
I meant no offense to the queer community! I was--again--just ranting about how the straight flag has no colour. :)
(June 11, 2023 - 8:47 pm)
Well, the straight flag is kinda tricky. It's absolutely ok to be proud to be straight! It can actually take a lot of courage to discover that you're really straight. I'm, ya know, clearly not speaking from experience here, being omni and genderfluid, but I really admire my friends who are straight, because many of the people in my friend group aren't, and it's human nature to want to fit in, but they don't and it doesn't bother them.
But the concept of straight pride and the flag that goes with it is often (although not always) used in a homophobic way, to say "I'm proud to be straight and I'm proud that I'm not queer."
But there's another flag, the ally flag. It's actually based partially on the straight flag, but also partially on the six-color pride flag. It does have color on it, and it says "I'm proud to be straight because that's who I am, and I'm also proud to be a friend to people who aren't."
You probably didn't know about the ally flag or the sometimes-negative connotations the straight flag can carry, so it's fine!
Also, the queer community isn't just the queer people--it's all of the wonderful allies too! And yes, there are some queer events that are just for queer people. But there are also some that are just for aliies, although they are rarer. It is my personal belief that there should be more events for allies to hang out, because they're a special wonderful group of people, and it's good for everybody to get to hang out with and hear the experiences of people like them. I feel like the concept of an ally community should be more firmly established than it is, because even though y'all are a wonderful part of the queer community and the queer community is part of the not-very-established-but-still-there ally community, it's good to acknowledge our ally friends, and also acknowledge that not everything is about us and that you all need a space to be about you. You know, you, Parody, are part of the group of magnificent people who can see both sides of the story. Often, the queer people see the queer side of the story and the non-ally straight people see the straight side of the story. I believe that it will be the allies who will take the stage and lead the way in helping the rest of us learn to see both sides too.
:D
(June 13, 2023 - 8:54 am)
Ahh, no, I had no clue! I didn’t know that about the straight flag, so thanks for letting me know. :)
(June 14, 2023 - 7:27 pm)
Please note: Since I don’t know a better word, in this comment, “cishet” includes not a-spec (ace, aro, etc), not intersex, and generally conforming to gender roles; basically not queer. (I think cishet technically just means cis and straight.) Also, content warning. There’s a lot of talk about discrimination in this comment. Also, thanks to Parody for taking criticism! This relates to the straight flag and also and (respectfully) disagreeing with Scuttles to some extent.
Obviously there’s nothing wrong with being cishet! It’s not like being queer is somehow “better” than being cishet. But that also translates into the fact that being cishet isn’t better than being queer. And the problem is, people act like being queer is far, far worse.
To this day, queer people are treated as lesser-than, or even hated, by society. You don’t need to dig far to figure out how, especially these days. Hate crimes are still an issue. People are still often queerphobic, even in little ways that still hurt a lot. The literal government is taking away our rights (especially trans rights) as we speak.
I agree that being cishet can probably feel like “not fitting in” or “not having a community”. And I agree that being cishet is just as beautiful as being queer, and I agree that allies are important. And if someone was making someone feel unwelcome because they were straight, that’s absolutely NOT okay.
HOWEVER. There is a big difference between simply not fitting into a friend group of queer people (without being pushed out of it for no reason while being perfectly decent) and not fitting into the world at large. You say it’s human nature to want to fit in. That’s true. And in the general world, to be queer is to not fit in. Only cishets can be “normal”. (It’s obviously more complicated than that, but still.) If you’re cishet, you can probably talk about your girl/boyfriend without fear of things from awkward stares to physical violence. (I'm purposefully leaving out people who don’t use those words because that complicates things quite a lot.) If you’re cishet (and use the “standard” pronouns for your gender and have a white name), your name and pronouns will probably be respected inherently. You won’t have to act like you’re someone else, and you won’t be put in danger for who you are. If you’re cishet, you don’t have to come out in the first place, and your safety doesn’t depend on how okay your parents are with queer stuff. And you have your gender and orientation affirmed and treated as "normal" since birth.
Also, are allies part of the queer community? Or are they their own thing? I certainly don’t think they should be able to call themselves queer or LGBTQIA+. Because, simply put, they’re not. The A stands for a-spec. Allies are important, amazing people - but if they’re not queer, they’re not queer, and it’s that simple. Now that I’ve reread your comment, I’m not thinking you were saying this, but it still kind of feels like you were, so I’m leaving it.
As for an ally community, I think that there should be places for allies and queer people to meet and places with an emphasis on allies (though all of them should absolutely have queer people as well because I do not trust cishet people to speak on our behalf). But I think you’re forgetting the purpose of having places for queer people in the first place. The purpose isn’t making allies feel a little less left-out. The purpose isn’t making cishets a bit more comfortable. The purpose is making sure that queer people survive. Usually, this translates into just being a safe and fun place for queer people to hang out; but nonetheless, the purpose is helping queer people in a hostile world.
I don’t completely disagree with your comment, but I do feel like there’s a lot of things that it’s missing, and I do feel like it overstates how bad cishet allies have it compared to actual queer people. And like, if someone does feel left-out or like they’re “less important” because they're cishet, that’s okay, and they should have a place to talk about it - hence the ally-focused places I mentioned. And nobody’s struggles matter less because they’re the “norm”. It’s just that they don’t struggle in one specific way. White, cishet, abled, and otherwise very privileged people can absolutely suffer more than the most marginalized; but the most marginalized have suffering by default, by being who they are. That’s what we’re trying to change.
Sorry this is so late; I’ve had a lot of trouble putting this into words/actually typing it and then anxiety about posting it. Sorry for the long post, Admins.
(June 15, 2023 - 5:07 pm)
I absolutely agree! Thank you for so cleanily putting this into print, BB. You never cease to impress me with the way you command your words! Love ya~ <3
(June 16, 2023 - 1:43 pm)
HAPPY FROGGING PRIDE MONTH!
*screams* My town painted a couple crosswalks rainbow! I'm happy about that, not so much my dad, buuuuuuuut. I'm getting an omni pin for my bag and I'm pretty much outto everyone I know (except a few friends I don't see alot)! YEAH! HAPPY PRIDE!
(June 12, 2023 - 6:20 am)
Older CBer here-- just dropping in to wish everyone a happy pride month! When I used to be active on here, I unfortunately was not particularly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community that I am now a part of. But as I've gotten older, I've come to realize that 1. I am, in fact, not straight and 2. there was no reason for me to be prejudiced against LGBTQ+ people who are just trying to live their lives. In a roundabout way, I think the CB contributed to that realization for me. Anyway, this is just a roundabout way of saying that I'm happy that the CB has continued to be a safe space, and that no one should ever make you feel like you're weird or broken or confused just because you're different than them. Happy pride everyone!
(June 13, 2023 - 10:09 pm)
@thats a secret! I'm glad you have realized the mistake you made and that you have fixed it. It takes a lot of courage.
(July 2, 2023 - 9:14 am)
Happy pride you beautiful people!! Thanks so much for being a community where I can explore my identity and feel accepted just as I am <3
(June 14, 2023 - 10:38 am)
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, EVERYONE!!
I'm so happy that the CB is as diverse and accepting and wonderful as it is, because otherwise, I don't think I would have been exposed to the LGBTQ+ community, and I don't think I would have been exposed to labels such as "bi" or "omni" or "pan", which are labels I've been thinking about for myself, maybe. So, thank you, to everyone on the CB, for making it the awesome place it is, and happy pride month!!!!!
(June 14, 2023 - 5:32 pm)
Happy pride month everyone! Good news, I'm finally out to my mom about my genderfluidness! She was really supportive, which was nice. Also, my friend, and crush, (demiboy, he/they in case you were wondering) confessed that they like me and I told him that I liked them back! That was very relieving. Most importantly, I'm glad that everyone on the CB is really supportive and kind because I think that has helped me the most on my self discovery journey!
(June 15, 2023 - 11:24 am)
Congratulations, LotS!!!
(June 16, 2023 - 11:36 pm)
Hi everyone, happy Pride Month!! I myself am unsure of my orientation...last year I was completely convinced I was bi but honestly I think I might be straight, or at least more attracted to the opposite gender than my own. Still, no matter what, I completely support the lgbtq+ community and am so happy to celebrate with you all!! <3:)
(June 15, 2023 - 4:17 pm)
Wow starry sky, I'm going through the same thing. I liked girls and boys for a while and then I've mostly been liking boys recently. Also because we don't really have a lot of gay or bi girls at my school, so I'm planning on just staying as bi.
(June 17, 2023 - 8:24 am)