I can't let go. I forget that things end. Time is nothing, will be nothing, if only systems that work in perpetuity can be perfected and maintained, and then I can exist out of time. Or some part of me can. I can't get the hang of genesis in destruction, of letting go, of moving on without looking back, of not looking forward. I don't always look forward. Perhaps because I'm so busy looking back, holding on. If this does not matter, then what does? Why do I want to be important? I suppose because I'm scared of dying, scared of that change, of what will come next, and that I do not know. I want to be remembered. I want to impact the world I know now; it is a way of holding on. I want to be important to what is important to me. Why?

If I find a way, will I be able to explain the path I took, to point it out so that others may see it, and perhaps even follow? Why do my thoughts turn immediately to doing that rather than to taking the path? What happens if the path is no longer there to point out? Will I have found an end, or only a good place to stand on the mountain's side? Why do we climb? 

Does beauty make people better? Surely not. Yet, if one believes that they are a good person because they are beautiful, do they more often act as they think is good (because they believe they are good, by virtue of being beautiful)? If so, are they not better because they are beautiful? And in that event, isn't it advantageous to say that beautiful people are better? But do they really act better because they think they are better? 

If the box is opened and one person observes whether Schrödinger's cat is dead or alive, but does not pass on that information to one who cannot observe it, isn't the cat still both dead and alive for the one who cannot observe? And yet its state is definite for the one who can. I'm glad this is somebody else's problem. 

I'm so ace. 

When I finally figured out that I want the same thing as everybody else, I didn't want to believe it. But I do want it. And I'm glad that I know that. 

When people say they've found the secret key to happiness, it's only the newest key to another thing that makes us happy which no one had yet exploited. Are there infinite things? 

I'm so busy being in the moment that I forget that moments don't last forever. With the way that i must live, that is not good. 

That time recently when I looked forward. Those times, recently, when I did not fail. Those times recently where doing something I did not enjoy staved off things I would have enjoyed even less.

Is it worth it?

Every action has an equal opposite reaction, everything has a cost. Or does it? The times when we prefer the benefit to the cost are the times when we think it is worth it. Are there times when things have a cost that we simply do not see as a cost?

Look at me, unraveling basic, simple truths that surely everyone already knows. But aliens wouldn't know. Neither would babies. Babies might as well be aliens.

We really love making stuff the same as us. Or making ourselves the same as stuff.

This is very long. It's fun, too, but I'm still going to stop now.  

My life feels so meaningful. I feel fulfilled. I feel... I don't know. Praying for purpose really works! 

I watched like over 7 straight hours of Marvel movies today and I regret nothing.

THIS. IS. CREEPY.

The Diary of a Wimpy Kid series is the only good book series out there. Change my mind.

Holy cow I'm going to be 15 tomorrow.