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Ways To Annoy
Ways To Annoy Lord Voldemort (Hah, Voldemort's in the world around me ... )
Because I saw it somewhere. And it looked like fun. Here is my original list. Feel free to add.
1. Call him Voldy.
2. Call him Tom. Or, if you're feeling really brave, Tommy.
3. Call him Mr. Riddle.
4. Say, "You know, I really do think it's about time you and Bella got together.
5. Say, "It's not nice to hurt people. It's mean. And we don't want to be mean, do we? Of course not."
6. Point your finger at him and say, in a sing-song voice, "Moldy old Voldy! Look at Moldy Voldy!" Fall down laughing.
7. Say, "You know, this whole 'I must kill Harry Potter' thing is getting really old."
8. Give him a birthday present. Like a teddy bear. Or a dollhouse.
9. Give him a Valentine ...
10. ... and misspell his name on it.
11. Mispronounce his name. ("Voll -- Voll-dee --" "Voldemort." "Mind if I just call you Bob?")
12. Say, "You're a big fat meanie!"
13. Tell him you think he's cute.
14. Pet Nagini. (Or at least try to.)
15. Tell Nagini, "Oh, oo's a good wittle snakey wakey, yes oo is!"
16. If you're with another witch or wizard, casually turn to them while Voldemort's talking and say, "So, as I was saying earlier ...." Have a completely unrelated conversation.
submitted by ZNZ, age Ageless, That's for me t
(April 14, 2010 - 7:50 pm)
(April 14, 2010 - 7:50 pm)
Of course, playing Monopoly with me would result in death. :-D
(April 17, 2010 - 6:20 am)
Here are all the ones we've come up with.
We should send this to JK Rowling when we hit 100......
1. Call him Voldy.
2. Call him Tom. Or, if you're feeling really brave, Tommy.
3. Call him Mr. Riddle.
4. Say, "You know, I really do think it's about time you and Bella got together.
5. Say, "It's not nice to hurt people. It's mean. And we don't want to be mean, do we? Of course not."
6. Point your finger at him and say, in a sing-song voice, "Moldy old Voldy! Look at Moldy Voldy!" Fall down laughing.
7. Say, "You know, this whole 'I must kill Harry Potter' thing is getting really old."
8. Give him a birthday present. Like a teddy bear. Or a dollhouse.
9. Give him a Valentine ...
10. ... and misspell his name on it.
11. Mispronounce his name. ("Voll -- Voll-dee --" "Voldemort." "Mind if I just call you Bob?")
12. Say, "You're a big fat meanie!"
13. Tell him you think he's cute.
14. Pet Nagini. (Or at least try to.)
15. Tell Nagini, "Oh, oo's a good wittle snakey wakey, yes oo is!"
16. If you're with another witch or wizard, casually turn to them while
Voldemort's talking and say, "So, as I was saying earlier ...." Have a
completely unrelated conversation.
17. Say "You're half muggle. HA!!!!"
18. Say "You're a pathetic, stupid, dumb old man!" *Throw peanuts or anything at him*
19. Take his wand away and break it in two, throw it on the ground, walk awa, and say, "Now you're useless."
20. Make him pickle rat brains, and if he doesn't, then throw them at him.
21. Say, "What kind of name is Voldemort?! It's not very scary..."
22. Give him a card or letter that says, You stink. Harry is much stronger than you and you should take some lessons from him.
23. Sing "Love Story" in front of him and make him sing along
24.Tie him up and force him to watch little kids shows about friendly animated dinosaurs.
25. Say, "Will you be my best friend? Pleaseprettyplease?"
26.
Listen to your Ipod while he's making a big long speech, then take the
earphones out and ask him if he could say it again. Put the earphones
back in and repeat.
27. Give him the Nice (or Mean) Person of The Year Award.
28. Force him to dress up as a My Little Pony for Halloween.
29. While you Trick Or Treat with him (still on Halloween concept) ,
tell the people who give out candy that he can't have any because he'll
"poison it."
30. Whenever you see someone with black hair and glasses, say "Look! It's Harry Potter!" Then throw a water balloon at him.
31. When you're talking with him, call him You Know Who.
32. Say: "You should use this nice shampoo....." Give him a tube of
Beautiful Barbie Shampoo: Very Berry Strawberry. (This brand doesn't
exist, so don't look for it.)
33. Hold a Wizard Contest. Make sure he gets disqualified because it's for "Masters Only." Then let Harry win.
34. Tell him that black isn't his color, that he's more of a summer.
35. After a brief period of desperation, say "Oh! I love what you did with your hair!"
(April 16, 2010 - 6:03 pm)
YES! another opportunity for my lame comments! Well, here goes nothing....................
1. Ask him why he kept a diary.
2. Say "Your nose looks funny."
3. "The whole snake thing isn't very convincing."
Yes, I know they were lame.
(April 16, 2010 - 4:50 pm)
1. Akwardly squeeze his hand.
2. Then grab a dagger and say in an annoying voice "I'm Voldee and I like Harry Potter..ooh!" Then do everything he does and keep mimicking him...
3.......even in the bathroom.
(April 28, 2010 - 6:47 pm)
These are hilarious!! Awesome thread, ZNZ!
Along with Katie's addition:
Say, "Hey Voldy, my bff! How's it going? You know, I really think you should spruce up your cloak a little bit... maybe change the color to hot pink with a flower print. That should do it." End with an innocent smile and walk away.
If he does something mean (such as kill a friend or somethin' like that), look at him and again with that innocent smile say, "Thanks Voldy! You totally just made my day!" He loves the death and destruction, so....
I love the iPod one! Hilarious! That gets on everyone's nerve; just think about Voldy! *laughs hysterically*
~Leaf
(April 16, 2010 - 5:57 pm)
#4 is win, by the way. And not just because I ship them.
-Hand him the Evil Overlord list. Full stop.
-While he's asleep, paint a lightning bolt on his forehead.
-Attack him with a paintball gun loaded with blindingly pink paintballs.
-Send him fanmail. Written in curly floopy handwriting on pink paper. With little hearts on it. ((No, floopy isn't a word. I just made it up. Silence!))
-Leave plastic surgery pamphlets lying around whatever Derelict Manor he's using for headquarters.
-Follow him around suggesting that maybe he wouldn't be so depressed/angry all the time if he would get out in the sun more.
-Slip him a love potion. Be on the other side of the world when it wears off.
-If you ascribe to the He Probably Has Hair school of thought, dye it pink while he's asleep.
-Follow him around and laugh hysterically at everything he says.
-Mock his plans incessantly.
-Point out that the Evil Overlord list is a list of things not to do, not a bloody to do list.
-If you ascribe to the He Probably Doesn't Have Hair school of thought, send him a new wig every week. Bonus points if they're brightly/garishly coloured.
-Take every opportunity to point out that he got owned by a one-year-old.
(April 16, 2010 - 5:58 pm)
ROFL!!
(TO THE POWER OF 10!)
(April 16, 2010 - 8:28 pm)
OH MY GOSH! OUR THREAD IS AT THE TOP!
(April 17, 2010 - 6:40 am)
Even more!
*Cast a spell on him that gives him warts, then call him Voldewart.
* Dress up as Harry Potter and walk through the city with him. Tell people you're giving him lessons.
* Make him watch Chamber of Secrets. Fast foward through all his big scenes.
* Put that big snake from Chamber of Secrets in his bed. Adult help required.
* Tell him: "Here's your new cloak!" Give him a huge rainbow cloak with flowers and unicorns on it.
* Put a sign on his back that says: I'm Dangerous.
(April 17, 2010 - 6:55 am)
-Tell him that he would make a good swimsuit model
- Ask him to go to prom with you (not that Ive been to one)
- While he is sleeping try to paint his nails the most annoying color possible
- Don't give him nail polish remover unless it's as a bribe to make him walk around town wearing a pink polkadot cape
Funny thread!!
Smile :P
(April 17, 2010 - 6:59 am)
These are great! I would suggest, though, that you think through a little more carefully the ones that involve forcing him to do something. I mean, he IS still a powerful Dark wizard, after all...
(April 17, 2010 - 10:50 am)
Here are ssome more:
Say "Wazzup bro? Long time, no see!" Then do one of those greetings when you bump shoulders or whatever.
Read him the Harry Potter books as a bedtime story.
Make him watch the Harry Potter movies, every-single-one-non-stop.
Make him do an academic research paper, then when he's almost done, "accidently" delete it and say "Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to. Guess you'll have to re-do it. And remember, it's gotta be done by tommorrow. But no pressure or anything."
brush his hair and put bows in it, or shine his bald head and still find a way to put bows in it. Then after his torture is done say in a high voice "Aren't you a handsome little boy? Yes you are! Yes you are!"
Pretend that you're in love with him, then after he says 'but I'm a dark wizard' grab the front of his robes and say "But I don't care! I don't care!"
Make him read this list. (If we ever do get to 100, I thought that this should be #100. But it doesn't have to be if nobuggy wants it to but me.)
-☺☻
(April 17, 2010 - 8:05 am)
I agree that your last one should be #100.
I have one that goes right after "Read him the Harry Potter books as a bedtime story." While doing this, use the most irritating, high-pitched voice you possibly can for everything said by him, and insist that he really does sound exactly like that. Replace every adjective (such as cold) used about his voice that doesn't support this statement with 'annoying' or 'irritating.'
That can't really go anywhere else.
(April 17, 2010 - 3:44 pm)
Tell him that it's wonderful that he doesn't think that only girls keep diaries, then buy him a new one with My Little Ponies on the cover.
(April 17, 2010 - 6:27 pm)
No, we don't want him reading this list! Then he would know what we're planning!
(April 17, 2010 - 7:59 pm)