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Ways To Annoy
Ways To Annoy Lord Voldemort (Hah, Voldemort's in the world around me ... )
Because I saw it somewhere. And it looked like fun. Here is my original list. Feel free to add.
1. Call him Voldy.
2. Call him Tom. Or, if you're feeling really brave, Tommy.
3. Call him Mr. Riddle.
4. Say, "You know, I really do think it's about time you and Bella got together.
5. Say, "It's not nice to hurt people. It's mean. And we don't want to be mean, do we? Of course not."
6. Point your finger at him and say, in a sing-song voice, "Moldy old Voldy! Look at Moldy Voldy!" Fall down laughing.
7. Say, "You know, this whole 'I must kill Harry Potter' thing is getting really old."
8. Give him a birthday present. Like a teddy bear. Or a dollhouse.
9. Give him a Valentine ...
10. ... and misspell his name on it.
11. Mispronounce his name. ("Voll -- Voll-dee --" "Voldemort." "Mind if I just call you Bob?")
12. Say, "You're a big fat meanie!"
13. Tell him you think he's cute.
14. Pet Nagini. (Or at least try to.)
15. Tell Nagini, "Oh, oo's a good wittle snakey wakey, yes oo is!"
16. If you're with another witch or wizard, casually turn to them while Voldemort's talking and say, "So, as I was saying earlier ...." Have a completely unrelated conversation.
submitted by ZNZ, age Ageless, That's for me t
(April 14, 2010 - 7:50 pm)
(April 14, 2010 - 7:50 pm)
I don't remember ever reading that you have to love someone to see Thestrals. You just have to have seen someone of your own species die and understood it.
I didn't come up with this, but it's brilliant: Go into the Forbidden Forest with 2 pairs of earmuffs. Give one to Hagrid. Tell him to put them on. Release and ungag fully-grown Mandrake hidden in your pocket.
(July 16, 2011 - 9:46 pm)
@Ima: I assume you are taking Lord Voldy along on this little adventure?
(July 17, 2011 - 7:56 am)
@Ima: Oh, whoops. I was confused. I thought to see Thestrals, you have to see someone you loved die, but actually, you had to just see anyone die... I think.
Anyways, I thought up another one: Break Voldy's wand (I know someone said that already), destroy his Horcruxes (or get the Golden Trio to do that for you), then shoot him down with a gun while saying, "Muggles pwn!"
(July 17, 2011 - 8:34 am)
Or better yet, a Mandrake. Sorry, my previous post was unclear. That was what I meant. A mandrake would be a much more efficient, realistic, and interesting way to kill Voldemort than Expelliarmus.
(July 17, 2011 - 11:26 am)
Poke him endlessly
Pretend to be an anoying baby sitter and when he does mean stuff or threatens to kill you say, "That's not nice. What wold Harry think? You're geting a time out!"
Put him in a Tickle Torture Chamber. He would hate that. Make sure his in suspended cousiosnes.
Baby him and say in an annoying voice, "Yow de cutest wittle poopsy in de wode. Yesh yoo awe. Yesh yoo awe!
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:p
(July 18, 2011 - 10:16 am)
Oh my gosh! I have to read the older ones... I've just read a few, but these are hilarious! I'm laughing my head off!
@WritingWarrior- The one on Edward Cullen and the Bella barbie is genius!
(July 19, 2011 - 10:51 am)
Hee hee! I just came up with that one after reading all the complaints on the "Twilight" threads in Old Cricket's Library...;)
(July 19, 2011 - 3:53 pm)
This is so hilarious! I could only come up with one.
Convince him to get an e-mail account. When he's not looking, hack into it and send an e-mail to Harry saying, "Hi! Sorry about all that trying-to-kill-you stuff. Lets be friends! We can come over to my house and play with My Little Ponies. Your pal, Voldy." You can change the message to fit your needs, just make sure you're using a computer on the other side of the globe.
P.S. E-mail accounts are also good for spamming. :)
(July 20, 2011 - 8:16 am)
I fell down laughing. It was hilarious!
(July 23, 2011 - 7:30 pm)