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Things I Learned
Things I Learned from Books:
In the same vein as Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort. A collaborative list. Here's mine:
1: 100% of rumors and legends are true.
2: If you have discovered a secret that will destroy the world, no one will listen to you.
3: First impressions are always correct.
4: If your dog is too important to you it will die tragically.
5: Your mentor will die too. Sorry.
6: Bathrooms have no reason to exist.
7: If someone remarks about a lack of noise, you should be afraid. Very afraid.
8: Likewise, you should be worried if your parents aren't on an extended holiday by chapter 2.
9: If you are an orphan, there is no chance at all that you will be happily adopted in any reasonable amount of time.
10: If someone coughs more than once, it is a sign of being fatally ill.
11: If you keep your plan secret it will succeed. However if you tell everyone involved what it is, it will fail dramatically.
12: Secret codes are always ridiculously easy to crack. But it will take some obscure recollection brought up by a random comment before you realize that the note is in mirror writing.
Continue!
submitted by Emily L., age 16, WA
(October 30, 2011 - 9:21 pm)
(October 30, 2011 - 9:21 pm)
- Teachers with turbans have evil villains on the back of their heads.
- Your history teacher is the most dangerous villain of all.
- If you think the boy who happens to be working with you is extremely annoying, he's your true love.
- People who wear white gloves all the time are insane alchemists trying to take over the world.
- Brooms can fly.
That's all for now. :)
(November 4, 2011 - 10:16 am)
@E.M: I laughed so hard I could barely breathe! XD
(November 4, 2011 - 6:20 pm)
- If you yell loudly that you HATE that certain boy, then you are definitely lying.
- Never trust your guide.
- Let's hope you like long duels.
- One of the first awesome people to show up will die, betray you, get kidnapped, or leave for something that he thinks of as more important than you.
- Ignore all promises of rewards.
(November 4, 2011 - 9:09 pm)
P.S. Only about 70% of the people who die are fully dead.
(November 4, 2011 - 9:11 pm)
If you don't find a body they're not dead. Period. And if you do find a body and it's not 100% recognizable, they're not dead. And if someone's body is perfectly preserved, then they will come back to life. And in some worlds the afterlife allows you so much contact with the living that you might as well not even be dead. So while your chances of dying might seem quite high, they're actually quite low.
(November 5, 2011 - 2:28 pm)
At a school setting: If teachers show blatant favouritism to other students, this is evil and wrong, and they're probably evil. If teachers show blatant favouritism to you, this is the natural order of the universe.
(November 4, 2011 - 3:22 pm)
i love this thread.
• Most animals can either talk or change their shape, likely both.
• MONSTERS ARE REAL. DON"T TRUST ANYONE YOU DON"T KNOW WHO SOMEHOW KNOWS YOUR FULL NAME. They will no doubtedly transform into a hideous monster when no one else is looking.
• The little old lady down the street is actually a goddess in diguise who will reward you/punish you accordingly to if you are nice to her.
• Owls are awesome and will help you, especially talking ones. Snakes (the animal, not me!) are evil and will hurt you, especially huge ones that work for ugly evil overlords. *hinthint*
(November 5, 2011 - 3:17 pm)
I wouldn't be quite so sure she's a goddess. She might just be a fairy instead; you never know. Occasionally, she's an enchantress or an angel (Angels might not punish you for doing the wrong thing, just not reward you, but it's best not to take chances). However, be assured that they will never, ever tell you why they care so much about your morals, although with angels it is kind of obvious. As for the others, it will remain a complete and utter mystery why they're so anxious to interfere in your life--not that you'll notice or be the faintest bit curious.
She's even more likely to be a goddess/fairy/other supernatural being if she's ugly and/or poor, especially both.
(November 5, 2011 - 9:25 pm)
The two most important things that I've ever learned from reading:
1. There is no good and there is no bad there are just shades of grey. No matter what it looks like, there is some good in everyone. No matter how nice that person is, there is some drop of bad in them. Everyone has lines that they won't cross, even if it doesn't seem that way. Everyone has something, some kind of trigger, that will bring out the bad in them. (I have an entire essay in my head on this.)
2. Someone will get hurt. If there's any kind of trouble, someone will get hurt. It is impossible for everyone to walk away from a story unscathed. (I have another mental essay of this.)
Other important things:
1. Be prepared for adventure. People will hurt you and people will be nice to you, but it's always an adventure.
2. Keep your morals about you.
3. There is trouble. Everywhere. You can't trust anybody.
Writing stuff:
1. "When in doubt, add ninjas." -Erin Morgenstern (I learned this from books, but she stated it perfectly.)
(November 6, 2011 - 2:35 pm)
Agreed. I also have trouble understanding normal people sometimes, and books help me figure them out. Books only mention the details that are important, so it's easier to puzzle out what a character means than a person, but then I can apply what I've learned to real life, and it really comes in handy.
(November 6, 2011 - 5:44 pm)
I forgot one of the most important things:
3. Never, ever, base your judgment of someone off a stereotype. You can not, I repeat, can not base your judgment of one person of a group until you've met them. It is wise to run if you see one of them. You are allowed to be disgusted with an entire group; you can not hate each individual. Neither are you allowed to say, "They are a bunch of boot looking owl washing worms" or "They're all evil" The second statement is wrong the #1 mentioned above, and because you haven't met any of the other people and are therefore not allowed to say what their personality is like.
OK, Ok, that wasn't the best example. But you are not allowed to judge somebody by putting them in a group until you've actually met them.
(November 6, 2011 - 8:29 pm)
...What you learn from books is the opposite of this, actually.
(November 7, 2011 - 12:16 am)
It depends on the book.
(November 7, 2011 - 8:09 pm)
Hmm... maybe it's just me. Maybe more from writing this one novel that I've been writing for two and a half years, the writing is horrible but the characters are bloody awesome. That, and the time I spend staring into space thinking. A combination of reading, writing, and thinking has led me to that conclusion.
Or maybe it's just me. Because, you know, I'm crazy.
(November 8, 2011 - 8:30 pm)
- The elderly woman down the street whose house smells like cabbage, and who likes cats is actually working for one of the most powerful wizards of the age.
- Women like the above have a fat chance of tripping over their cat, and breaking their leg.
- If your cousin complains about his ice-cream and gets a new one, you'll always get the old one.
- Curly haired teenagers who always where baseball caps are satyrs.
(November 7, 2011 - 11:17 am)