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Things I Learned
Things I Learned from Books:
In the same vein as Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort. A collaborative list. Here's mine:
1: 100% of rumors and legends are true.
2: If you have discovered a secret that will destroy the world, no one will listen to you.
3: First impressions are always correct.
4: If your dog is too important to you it will die tragically.
5: Your mentor will die too. Sorry.
6: Bathrooms have no reason to exist.
7: If someone remarks about a lack of noise, you should be afraid. Very afraid.
8: Likewise, you should be worried if your parents aren't on an extended holiday by chapter 2.
9: If you are an orphan, there is no chance at all that you will be happily adopted in any reasonable amount of time.
10: If someone coughs more than once, it is a sign of being fatally ill.
11: If you keep your plan secret it will succeed. However if you tell everyone involved what it is, it will fail dramatically.
12: Secret codes are always ridiculously easy to crack. But it will take some obscure recollection brought up by a random comment before you realize that the note is in mirror writing.
Continue!
submitted by Emily L., age 16, WA
(October 30, 2011 - 9:21 pm)
(October 30, 2011 - 9:21 pm)
Sorry- can't number these.
But-
Anyone described in detail upon first appearance and/or mysterious will be important, sooner or later.
The villain is either charming or was at one time.
(November 7, 2011 - 2:17 pm)
• Someone is hiding their true identity and/or heritage. Guaranteed. Every time. You figure it out somewhere in like chapter 8, or something.
(November 7, 2011 - 6:03 pm)
1) The guy/girl you are crushing on is either going to profess an undying love for you or completely ignore you and you'll fall in love with another person.
2) You are bound to have an evil twin somewhere.
3) The person who did it is either
a. the most obvious person because the author knows you are going to think it's the least obvious person and wants to surprise you.
b. or the butler.
4) You're gonna get betrayed sometime and are going to sit there and cry until your knight in shining armor brings you to the ball. Well, nowadays, he brings you to the prom, but it's the concept.
5) Most Disney Villains do not take kindly to half-hologram teenagers. (a virtual prize to whoever knows the book)
6) Your archenemy either
a. dies.
b. or becomes your best friend,
7) Mermaids aren't mammals. (a virtual prize to whoever knows the book)
8) When all else fails, call your fairy god-tutor.
(November 7, 2011 - 9:52 pm)
1. Do not be afraid of dad dying; its going to be mom.
2. If the books are named after you, you can do whatever you want till the last book.
3. Don't be the bad guy no matter how good it looks for ya.
4. Got a bad feeling? GO WITH YOUR GUT.
5. Oh pain I am 100% un usefull in every way. Think again.
(November 8, 2011 - 6:06 pm)
I know someone said these first two before, but...
Adults are, to be frank, useless. They know nothing.
Magical people have all the fun.
Everyone, and I do mean everyone, is out to get you.
You will develop magical powers & or turn into something and/or find out that you're not-quite-human.
(November 12, 2011 - 2:43 pm)
1. Your love life will:
a. Live with you forever, happily ever after.
b. Be your arch-nemesis in disguise.
2. Girls never actually have to die.
3. If you don't have a last name, you will die.
4. In the middle of your painstakingly-planned-plan, somebody will send a pile of ancient Greek armor crashing to the floor.
5. Bad guys are always waiting for you on the other side of that secret door.
6. If you have magical powers, they will be rendered completely useless when you actually need them.
7. If a bad guy starts to monologue, then he isn't going to pay any attention to you (his supposedly incapacitated prisoner) until:
a. You manage to defeat him without the use of your magic powers
b. The double agent shows up
c. He's done with his monologue.
8. If your flashlight goes out unexpectedly, then something bad is about to happen.
9. Never plan a heist or a breaking-out-of-wherever manuever after dark. They always go wrong.
10. Your love life is an elf in disguise.
I'm spent...
Garthwumpian Flopp says pmyc.
Quintus- The pen may be mightier than the sword, but the sword is mightier than the paper shredder.
(November 19, 2011 - 7:54 pm)
When choosing between the hot popular guy and the misunderstood dark (equaly hot) guy you will always choose the misunderstood one.
If you are a foreign princess on your way to a new unknown land to marry a mysterious prince to bring peace to your land you will inevitably get kidnapped by your own people who have turned against you, led by your best friend (who also happens to be your lady in waiting), who wants to replace you and become queen of the new land. While being kidnapped you will fall in love with the prince you where supposed to marry while neither of you knows the other's identity.
If you have a diseasse that is going to kill you you will go on an adventure and your disease will be magically cured.
If there is a legend about an all powerful magical being and you go out to seek said being you will find out in the end that the supreme being is you and you were searching for yourself the whole time although you never feel like an idiot because you had NO IDEA you were that magical hero, none at all.
That's all for now.
(November 29, 2011 - 5:13 pm)