"This isn't Naboo."

Scotty knew that as soon as he looked out of the door. Saint had showed him how to land the TARDIS, stating that it was much easier to fly it with two people. 

"No, it isn't," Saint agreed sadly. "I'm sorry, Scotty."

She brought a metal bar down over his head, and he crumbled.

"Oh, he didn't die, did he?" she whispered, kneeling. "Humans are so vulnerable .  . . they can't regenerate, can they? No, I don't think so . . . "
She felt his pulse, and for a minute freaked before remembering humans only had one heart. She exhaled, standing up again. He'd be fine.

Flipping a new Sonic Screwdriver from the TARDIS console, Saint left the ship and pointed her tool at the Enterprise. Slowly but surely, the lights turned out, one by one.

"On lockdown," she muttered. "They'll get out of it . . . I hope."
Then she started sprinting towards the nearest town.

___

Enny was heavier than she looked, Tristan found.

After shutting her off, he had thrown her over his shoulder, thinking such a small person would be easy to carry. Wrong. He'd walked maybe five blocks and was already panting for water. He was almost there . . . then he'd be in a plane and off to Europe, far away from anyone who could spy for Ivalji Valjean. 

"You've killed her already, then?"

Tristan frowned, looking up and down the street. The blonde girl standing about a block away from him was definitely not there a minute ago.

"No," he said. "She's got this panel, see, with a switch--"
"Okay, good," said Saint simply. "Because Ivalji Valjean has figured it all out, and Elina isn't expendible anymore."

"So?"

"So you can't kill her. Not allowed. I'm here to pick her up and bring her to Naboo-- you, too, if necessary. Nexus-6 will find out in the morning."

Tristan paused. "Who are you?"

"I'm the Saint. I'm a Time Lord. And you're Tristan Jaxon, if I'm not much mistaken."

He nodded.

"So she's Elina? The Destroyer?"

He nodded again. "I have to kill her. She could set it off by accident. She doesn't even know it's in her. She could destroy the Universe."

"She has an off switch," Saint added. "You said it yourself. And you know how to activate it."

"I don't have to go with you."

"You'd rather be with Nexus-6?"

He was silent.

"Oh come on. Besides, I have a screwdriver and you don't. In the TARDIS, now."

He stepped in, and Saint typed in a few coordinates before turning and walking up some steps.

Tristan wasn't very impressed by the ship. He knew about Time Lords, of course; he'd gone to school in places throughout the galaxy, and the Time War was a big chunk of history. He'd been expecting something bigger, if he was to be honest. 

Trix set the limp Enny down, noticing the knocked-out Scotty. While Saint had her back turned, he walked up the steps, hand outstretched--

There was a blaster at his throat.

"Don't even try it," snarled the Time Lord. "Now, listen up. Are you as loyal to Ivalji Valjean as she makes it seem?"

Something told him to answer honestly. "No."

"Oh good." She sighed, putting the blaster away. "I didn't have any choice. My parents were allied with the Daleks and I didn't realize. It's just--"

She broke off, obviously embarassed.

"I asked a favor of Valjean a number of years ago," Tristan admitted. "Now I'm paying her back."

"We've got a ship of fighters towed behind us," said Saint. "Plus you and me. So I ask: do you know any safe places?"

"Yes." Tristan grinned. "I do know one . . . "

___

I hope I didn't state this too matter-of-factly, and you all choked into cereal bowls or something! I'm excited, there are some very good scenes coming up. <3

Family game night last night. Sorry!

___

"Miss Parper, we have a problem."

Daremi Parper didn't allow anyone to call her Daremi. Not Mimi, not Dora, not anything. Only Miss Parper, and she liked it that way. 

Her informer was a man slightly shorter than her, with mousy brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. He had been on the ship for who-knew-how-long, and was a faithful scientist. In fact, she trusted him so much that when his foot was cut off, she didn't hold the charge that his cybernetic operation cost. She said it was just a tip for good work, but it was really much, much more.

His name was Lucas Jaxon.

"What is it, Luke?"

He led her to the viewing screen. "That's a Federation ship," he said unnecessarily, pointing at the dominating figure. "And I'm not sure what that is. It doesn't have any brands or marks. Close as I can tell, it's some sort of space speeder."

It wasn't a space speeder, if such a thing existed. It was, however, a tiny ship, similar to an Earth speedboat. It had two tiny rockets on the back and barely enough space in the cockpit for one pilot. The glass that would have shown said cockpit was tinted, however, so she couldn't see inside. Even stranger-- it appeared to be towing the Federation ship, which was impossible; it was much too small.

"Lucas, before you start jibbering about conspiracy theories, we're steering well away from there. We've got cargo, and we don't want any Federation officers poking around on our ship."

She went back to the control panel and flipped a few switches, changing course for around the speeder. From a tiny adjoining room, a Gungan poked her head out and said, "Miss Parper, we have a signal coming in from the ship. It's heading toward us."
A rule that every expert smuggler learns is that they have to keep tabs on all communications near them. If they don't, a ship could sit completely unaware while a Federation vessel from a few miles off makes contact with the nearest Starbase, resulting in almost certain arrest. Daremi had swove away from a good few of those in her career, and wasn't inclined to repeat it. Thus she had hired the Gungan-- by the name of Be'Btala Jinx-- to be a (irony intended) "Communications Officer" for the smuggling ship.

"Which one?" Daremi asked; there were two possible ships the transmission could be coming from.

"I think the smaller," Be'Btala replied, flipping a few switches. "They surrender and ask to come aboard. There are two people on the line-- hold on. Luke-o, you don't know a boy named Tristan, do you?"
The man went pale and ran up to Jinx. "Tristan? Tristan who?"
"Tristan Jaxon. He's asking to speak to you."

"Put him on audio! Tristan!"

On Saint's TARDIS, the fifteen-year-old's nervous wreck of a face turned into an expression of joy. "Dad!"

On the smuggling ship, although no one noticed, Daremi Parper's face hardened. She switched course back to the two ships.

"Tristan! Molly told me you were dead!"

"I'm alive," he admitted.

"Actually," said another voice-- female this time, "I'm a necromancer. I brought him back from the dead. I'd like a good sum of money for returning your son to you, please."

"Saint!" said Tristan. "Shut up! She's kidding, dad. Look, we're in trouble and we need a favor."

"Name it. Anything."

"Well, really, it's two things. One: me and Saint want to come aboard. And two: we need to know about a certain thing you delivered."
"We're granting you neither," said Parper before Lucas could speak. "This ship is top secret; I don't know how you found it in the first place, except that we're going to make sure you're not finding it again. And we have 100% confidenciality for all customers. No information is giving regarding anything transported by this ship."

"Please?"

"Tristan, you're soft." Saint was speaking now. "Listen, I'm supposing you're the captain. Guess what? We're towing a Federation ship behind us, and my ship records every transmission that goes through it. I wonder what would happen if we informed them that you were a smuggling vessel, hmm?"

"Saint!"

"Look, these people live and breathe blackmail."

"We don't, actually," replied Daremi Parper. "I don't know what books you've been reading, but smugglers are not scum."

"Well, then, find it in your hearts to bring us aboard."

"No."
There was silence. The people aboard the smuggling ship held their breath and hoped that the two teens wouldn't transmit their conversation.

"Say," said Tristan after a pause, "What if we were your customers?"

Daremi Parper blinked. "What?"

"We're knowingly allied with Ivalji Valjean. And she was your customer, correct? So under the authority of her, I demand to know your last transaction which took place."
"Fine," said Parper, none too calmly. "Fine. All I know is that we transported a large red gem that we were informed was incredibly dangerous and not to be touched with ungloved hands."
"When I ran a report on it," Lucas continued, "I found out it was completely fake. Some sort of thick glass. It couldn't zap a junebug."
"Where did you transport it to?" Saint probed.

"Naboo," replied Parper simply. "And you said you wanted to come aboard?"

That was, of course, sarcasm; no one but Daremi Parper's crew was allowed to come on Daremi Parper's ship.

There was another silence. 

"No," said Saint, very softly. "I don't think we do."

The line was cut and all was silent.

"That was my son," Lucas Jaxon whispered. "My son. My son is still alive."

___

"So what now?"

Tristan Jaxon leaned against the control panel.

"Now?" Saint looked up. "Well, there are numerous possibilities. We could turn ourselves in as spies and definitely get arrested; we could continue acting on Ivalji Valjean's orders; or we could simply pretend to be allied with both. What do you think?"

Trix was silent for a long while. "I have a debt to repay."

Saint suddenly looked very, very sad. "Yes, I thought you'd say that."

He looked at her, eyes widening in fear and surprise. "You're turning yourself in."
She nodded.

"And you're going to turn me in too."
She nodded again.

"I'm sorry, Saint, I can't let that happen."

He had a few poison darts left in his cybernetic hand. He was pretty sure it would take more than a strangling to kill the Time Lord.

"I thought you'd say that too," said Saint. "And I can't let you do that either."

"You're going to kill me."
"I'm not. I could never kill a person."
"Then what are you going to do?"

"Leave you with Scotty."

With a sudden quickness, before Tristan could react-- it had been a very long time since his last fight-- she brought a metal pipe down on his head.

And everything went black . . . 

___

Ivalji Valjean stood up suddenly.

"No," she snarled. "No, no, no. Saint is crucial to my plans. She cannot. She will not . . . but who should I send . . . ?"
Uhura sat in a corner, feverishly trying to maintain connection with the tracking device implanted on Saint's TARDIS. There was no visual, but audio was still available. She wondered how long it would be before the captain realized that his communications officer was taking a rather long bathroom break . . .

Erm, everything's still a bit patchy, guys, I'm sorry. I'm much too lazy to write sections in advance, so it's mostly me trying to relate to a plot without a lot of back-and-forth (which is definitely going to be happening. If I ever put this together into one post, it's going to need a LOT of editing). I do have scenes planned out, but I have no idea when they're happening, and it's getting hard for me to maintain my very shaky little three-event timeline. I may have to trash that . . . 

(thinking aloud, sorry)

____

"So. Saint."

The Captains Kirk and Hickok sat on chairs facing the bed where the Time Lord was sitting, face in her palm. Too much had gone wrong that day. Just too much . . . 

"Saint, we need you to tell us everything."

___

A few hours earlier, Saint had easily explained the halt at Earth as a pit stop for the TARDIS. They had landed on Naboo, expecting maximum security.

What they found was Ivalji Valjean and Lieutenant Uhura.

"You can have her back now," said the Sith lord, shoving the Comm Officer towards them. "I know what I need to know."

She turned her eerie yellow eyes on Saint. "Traitor."

The Time Lord breathed a little quicker. "Who says? I brought them here, Valjean."

The Sith Lord walked over towards the TARDIS, still disguised as a speeder. She suddenly ripped off a large beeping black thing which had obviously been cloaked a second earlier. Nobody made a move-- they were all transfixed. "This does."

"You installed a tracking device on my ship," Saint muttered. "So you-- you--"

"At least Jaxon was willing to stay on my side," Valjean snarled. "I notice you took the liberty of knocking him out, or else he'd be here now."

Saint thought quickly, but nothing came to her. So this was it-- she was going to die. She wouldn't even be allowed to regenerate once in her entire lifespan. Time Lords could live for thousands of years. She was going to live for twenty.

"No!"

"No," Saint muttered.

"It was me," said Iris Halloraan boldly. "Saint didn't do anything wrong, Ivalji Valjean. I did."

Saint wasn't sure why the Sith believed it. Maybe the transmission was grainy. Maybe she thought Halloraan wouldn't lie. Whatever the case, she instantly moved towards the Padawan, who unleashed a purple lightsaber.

"I could have trained you," Valjean whispered. "We could have been the most powerful women in the galaxy. And you disregarded me."

The lunge was so fast it was a wonder Halloraan was even able to move her lightsaber. It was much too quick, and suddenly Iris was lying dead on the floor.

"Now, Saint," said Valjean, turning towards the Time Lord, "I'd like the Destroyer, please."

"Here she is."

It wasn't Saint speaking. It was Tristan Jaxon, a large bump on his head, carrying a thrashing Elina. "Turns out her off switch has a time limit. She's yours to control."

"Of course," said Valjean calmly, looking at the girl piercingly. "You will walk towards me and not fight."

"I will walk towards you and not fight," echoed Elina, walking towards Ivalji Valjean not fighting.

"You will stand still for me as I open your panel."

"I will stand still for you as you open my panel."

Valjean rummaged around inside Elina's brain for a moment, then stepped back.

"Jaxon," she snapped. "You know how to activate her."

"Well, yes, but--"

In the excitement, no one was looking at Saint anymore. She had been waiting for the perfect opportunity-- a drama ideal, perhaps?-- and now she took it.

As Trix bent over to look inside Elina's head, a bolt of energy hit him squarely in the chest and he fell over.

"I should never have trusted you!" Ivalji Valjean cried, slicing with one of her lightsabers. Perhaps her anger blinded her, or maybe Saint was just incredibly quick, but only the right arm fell to the ground and not a lifeless body.

"I will kill them," she said suddenly, looking at her opponent's allies. "I will kill them all."

Saint's aim was poor. She was always incredibly sensitive to pain, and was getting light-headed from the sight of her own blood. Therefore it was not a surprise that she missed her target and instead shot a security guard, having as much effect as a phaser on the third setting.

The blast brought Valjean back to reality, and also the Enterprise crew. She hit a button on Elina Jaxon's head just as Saint collapsed from pain and blood loss.

As Doctor McCoy ran over to his new patient, Ivalji Valjean cackled. "Earth has been destroyed, with a good amount of witnesses to inform the galaxy that I was the one who did it. Don't forget to spread the word."
With a sarcastic smile that contrasted completely with her other features, Valjean hit a button on a wristwatch and beamed aboard an unknown ship.

Elina Jaxon collapsed.

Captain Kirk opened his communicator. "Mr. Spock. Ten to beam aboard."

___

"Elina Jaxon was the Destroyer," Saint began as Ariel K'Tosh and Spock entered the brig. "She had the power to demolish planets, but her body was too weak to house it, even with the cybernetic implants. She couldn't handle the stress destroying Earth allowed."

"Why did Ivaji Valjean want to destory Earth?" asked Kirk.

Saint sighed. "She's really a good person. Well, no, she's not really. She's a bad person who listened to horrible people.

"Ivalji Valjean is frightened of chaos."

There was silence for a moment.

"Chaos?" asked Ariel K'Tosh.

"She's frightened of things that are not controlled. Anarchies. Cockroaches. The Universe. Anything that is not united scares her. Her goal is to unite the Universe, not for power exactly, but just so that she can no longer be afraid."

"That is illogical," said Mr. Spock. "She could simply have turned to the Federation."

"Untrue. Even the Federation isn't completely united. You're still warring with the Klingons and Romulans, are you not?"

"Yeah, and we're also joining the Federation," said Ariel, somewhat annoyed.

"Oh, please. You hear this every day. Don't try to make me sound like I'm offending you just because I made a mistake."

"Speaking of which," said Auiq Hickok, "Explain that."

"Hickok . . . you don't remember being with Ivalji Valjean, but I do. It's not good, not even if you're cooperating. I can't even remember why I agreed to join her, but I did and that's what matters."

"Why?"

"It was my parents. Their names were the Librarian and the Philosopher, you know, and they were incredibly smart even by Time Lord standards. They were the turning tide of the war, I think. They put their lot in with the Daleks, and the Daleks were allied with Ivalji Valjean. That's all I know."

"Why did you murder one of my men?" asked Kirk.

"I didn't mean to. I was aiming for Valjean."
"Why did you kill Tristan Jaxon?" They had gotten the name from her earlier.

"I thought Valjean didn't know how to activate Elina, and she needed Tristan to do it. I figured if I stopped him, I could save everyone on Earth. I was wrong."

"Why did you knock out Scotty?" He had come to a few hours earlier.

"I couldn't have him knowing what was going to be going on in my TARDIS. I'm sorry."

They stood. "Thank you for your time."
"No problem."

They left, passing the two security guards posted at the door. Kirk had believed Saint's very abbreviated version of the story earlier and put her in a very lightly guarded room. As they walked down the corridor, they heard McCoy (who had been waiting for an audience) ask, "How's that arm feeling?"

There was a lot to process, and even more questions.

But the most important was this: How to stop Ivalji Valjean?

___

Yes, I trashed this one, didn't I? Ruined the timeline, anyway. I hope you still choked into cereal. 

@Owlgirl: Show, not tell. Hehe.

@Shadow: YES! Someone choked into cereal! xD

I'm sorry for not updating sooner, everyone. Due to school, guests, and a brother who won't share, posts may be less frequent. I want this finished as much as you do, though. I really need to organize this . . .

(I swear when I'm done I'll edit the whole thing and post it in the Inkwell so you can see the true glory of CBERS IN SPACE!)

(also, I know I've said this before, but I now have a second CBERS IN SPACE planned. Seriously, I have scenes all ready to go and everything. So if I can actually finish this, which would be quite an achievement, keep your eyes open . . . )

___

"So tell me friends, when I'm down would you pick me up?"

Saint's singing was soft but carried through the halls of the brig as Spock approached.

"If everyone had rights, would anything go wrong? Would there ever be the need for these politicians' songs?"

The guards let him in.

"So tell me friends, when I'm down would you pick me--"
Saint was lying on her bed, staring at her mechanical hand, which she was flexing habitually while singing. "Hey, Spock."

"Hello, Saint. What was that you were singing?"

"'My Friends,' Head and the Heart. A twenty-first century band." Saint had put her hand down now, but had not yet got up.

"I have a few questions, if you do not mind."

"Not at all. Gives me something to do."
"Am I correct in saying that a Time Lord has two hearts, twelve regenerations, and a backup pair of lungs?"

"Yes. We can also focus excess radiation in our bodies into a connecting object. Am I correct in saying that Vulcans have green blood, a heart where a human's liver is, and varying mental advances?"

"Correct."
"But that's not what you're here for, is it, Spock?" Saint swung her legs over the side so she was sitting and facing the science officer. "What do you need?"
"I was thinking about the possibilities of using your TARDIS to go back in time and destroy Ivalji Valjean. I am aware that Time Lords are able to look at the past, present, and future, and identify fixed and fluxuating points in time. Is Ivalji Valjean's birth a fixed point?"
"No," said Saint instantly. "I thought of that too, Spock. But the problem is, we don't know what would happen if we did do that. The Universe would definitely be drastically altered."
"Are you able to tell?"

"Yes," said Saint after a pause. "Yes, I think so."
When her pupils began to expand, Spock was not worried. Of course there would be side effects; it was nothing to be concerned about.

"If Ivalji Valjean never existed," said Saint, "the Universe as of this time would be in chaos. The Daleks would have won the Time War. Villains such as the Flynn Model Nexus-Six, the Dathomirian Army, the Romulans, the Klingons, the Daleks, and the Chamelenites would battle for control, destroying what they hope to obtain while doing so. At first, the Federation would intervene, but sheer force of numbers eventually destroys it. As they are all equally matched, the war goes on for generations, as none of the armies are willing to stop."
Spock waited patiently for the Saint to stop her monolague. Obviously she had gone far enough, but she didn't stop, listing every major event, from the eventual win by the Chamelenites to the rise of the Federation, the famed starship Marauder, the captain Tril'Qutt, and so on, centuries into the possible future. As she spoke, Saint's eyes became more and more black, until she literally started shaking, and Spock realized that she was not able to stop.

"Spock to sick bay," he said into the nearest communicator.

"McCoy here."

"Please come down to the brig. We have a bit of an emergency concerning the Saint."

"Dang it, Spock, what have you done this time?" McCoy turned off the communication and hurried down to where Spock was waiting.

"Unknown to the comfortable Federation, the Klingons had been massing up their armies and launched an attack," Saint was saying. 

"What did you do, Spock?" McCoy demanded, running a quick medical exam. "I can't make heads or tails of these readings, with all the stupid Time Lord biology! She's worse than you. I haven't the faintest idea how to help her."

"I believe it is a psychological problem, Doctor," said Spock.

"Then use that Vulcan mind thingy! I can't do a thing!"

Spock sighed and walked over to the muttering Saint. Silence fell.

After a moment or two, she blinked. "I'm so sorry. I made a huge mistake. I forgot-- we're not supposed to look at might-have-beens. They can go on into infinity . . . "
"Perfectly all right, Saint," said Spock calmly. "You have at leat confirmed that we do not want to go back in time."

___

If everyone had rights, would anything go wrong?

"She lied," Flynn Model Nexus-6 muttered, looking at Earth from his shuttlecraft, watching it implode. "Earth was my planet. She promised."

"Who promised?" Zaphod Beeblebrox was looking murderous. "You haven't told us a thing, man!"
"Ivalji Valjean," said Nexus-6 simply. "You are going to be President of the Galaxy again, Beeblebrox. And you, you idiot machine, are going to the dump."

"Of course," said a depressed Marvin. "At least it won't have cheery doors."

___

Would there ever be the need for these politicians' songs?
"Is it done?" asked Ivalji Valjean.

The copper-skinned woman standing in front of her was practically an exact replica. The Chamelenite morphed back into her original form-- merely the outline of a female humanoid. "Yes. I'm afraid I may have outdone it a bit, though."
"What happened? Tell me everything."
"Earth is destroyed; I couldn't take Saint's life, but I took an arm. I think the Federation is properly scared now. Also, Elina and Tristan Jaxon are dead."

"You killed Jaxon?" Ivalji Valjean rose up a bit from her seat before falling back, feeling murderous. "He was essential, you imbecile!"
"I didn't kill him," said the Chamelenite quickly. "It was Saint."

"You are dismissed," said Ivalji Valjean. 

Next time, she told herself, she'd have to take care of these affairs in person.

___

And tell me friends, when I'm down would you pick me up?
"Miss Parper?"

Daremi looked up from her bunk. It was Lucas Jaxon. "I really don't want to speak to you right now."

"Parper, I didn't lie to you. Really. You just never asked."

"I don't care!" The Twi'lek revealed a face that was not at all tearstained. "Please just leave me alone!"
"Daremi . . . "
Lucas paused, as if worried she would grow fangs and kill him. The pilot just ignored the use of her first name.

"You didn't give me a chance. Molly is dead now, Daremi. And I'm sure all she would have wanted was for me to be happy."

"Well, you've just found out your children are alive. So why don't you leave the ship and go dancing with the bunnies under the rainbow?"

"Because I could never leave you."

So, two things:

1. I have no idea what my homework situation is going to be for the rest of the week, but if it's as bad as it was today, I might not have time to watch my shows and write new installations on CBERS IN SPACE. Therefore you might not get another post until this weekend. :(  I'm sorry, guys.

2. ENDING ALERT! I'm not sure yet, but I think I'm going to wrap this up in three more posts or so. But never fear-- it's definite now-- CBERS IN SPACE will be back with time travel, paradoxes, fond memories, and a Time Lord at large!

I hope you didn't give up on me! I promised an installation this weekend, and it is here! (with backround music from Signs of Light!) So, let's see if this actually goes to the front page or not . . . guys, if I finish this, I will be so proud.

___

"We're leaving," Captain Hickok announced.

"To do something stupid and dangerous, I suppose?" Saint sighed.

"Of course."
"And I'm not invited."
"I'm sorry, Saint. Captain Kirk isn't exactly warm and fuzzy with you at the moment, you know, Scott's pretty upset, and McCoy's having fits about your health."
"It's okay. I get it."

"Okay. Good." The Xexto looked relieved, and left the room.

"The problem is," added Saint to the empty air, "I seriously don't agree. And we can't have that, can we?"
___
"We've got visitors."
The Chamelenite was prompt, but Ivalji Valjean already knew. She brushed it off. "You can kill the security. Bring the captains and First Officers to me."
"If you don't mind me asking," said the Chamelenite (who was of an incredibly high status, being allowed to shift into her own mistress), "why do you always want them to be brought to you? You never do anything."
"You'd be surprised," said Ivalji Valjean, "At how much more interesting it is to destroy people who are frightened out of their wits."
"But the Vulcan--"
"Oh, please. Vulcans are hilarious on their own. Just do what I tell you to do."

___

The landing party was quiet and cautious. Unaware of any knowledge of their presence, they meticulously erased any trace of their existence, and covered their every move. No one, as far as they knew, had even laid eyes on them.

Of course, they realized how wrong they were when Ivalji Valjean landed in front of them.

"You!"
Captains Kirk and Hickok drew at the same time, and fired and the same time. A grinning Sith lord flipped over both, unleashing twin lightsabers. "Isn't this exciting?" she asked. "I always enjoy a good slaughter."
Kirk made a slight motion, and his security fired. In a sequence of well-oiled moves, Valjean dodged the lasers, killed four of the security guards, and hovered her saber right by Ariel K'Tosh's neck.

"Drop the weapons or she dies," said the Sith.

___

"Ugh."
Saint examined the board one last time. Why was transport so difficult? Flying the TARDIS was juvenile compared to this. "To heck with it."

Flipping out her screwdriver, which she was pretty sure had been accidentally-on-purpose not confisticated, she went onto the pad and activated the transportation device. Her molecules separated, floating around in empty space, while another, new Saint re-formed on the surface of Tatooine.

"Where are they . . .?"

Unlike the landing party, Saint knew exactly how efficient Ivalji Valjean, and her employees, were, so she didn't bother to hide her movements as she began to jog towards the large building, obviously Valjean's control center.

____

"Don't, Captain!" said Ariel fiercely. "Shoot her!"

"She'll kill you!" Auiq Hickok protested.

"I don't care! Shoot her!"

"No!"

"Shoot her!"
"No!"
As the captain and first officer went back and forth, Spock examined the results of his tricorder for the third time. "Captain?"
"This is not the time, Spock!"

"Captain, I believe you will find this information crucial."

"What, Spock?"
"This creature is not Ivalji Valjean."
Everyone fell silent.

"What?" said Hickok, just as the false Valjean said "How did you know?"
"She is part of a race of creatures called Chamelenites. The Federation does not have much data on them."
"Of course you don't," said the Chamelenite stubbornly. "We destroyed it all. You think we don't have agents in your precious organization?"
"It is logical," Spock agreed.

"Spock!" Kirk groaned. "I don't care what she is! She's still trying to kill First Officer K'Tosh!"
"Oh. Right." The Chamelenite easily slipped back into character. "Drop the weapons!"

____

"Oh." The real Ivalji Valjean smiled from her space on the throne, in an empty room. "Oh, this is lovely."
Another life form had entered the mix-- one with two hearts. "It's nice to see you, Saint. How convenient."

___

There was a sharp buzzing from behind the group, and the Chamelenite's lightsabers switched off.

"Oh, cool," said a familiar voice. "I wasn't sure it could do that."
"Saint!" hissed Hickok. "Get back on the ship!"
"Little late for that," she said, shrugging. "I want to help."
"Saint, you are under official arrest," said Spock. "You are not allowed to be here."
"Unfortunately, I am."
"How, exactly?" asked Kirk.

"Oh, I used the screwdriver, hit a few people over the head, same old. Look, do you want to kill Ivalji Valjean or not? That Chamelenite's her best line of defense, and I"ve just rendered her useless."
"Wrong!" cried the shape-shifter, and suddenly the Saint was gone.

____

Back at Starbase, a message came through to Starship Dispatchment and Assignments. Brookiera Koith listened carefully-- it was from the Enterprise, explaining about the threat of Ivalji Valjean.

"A little late for that," she said, halfway through the transmission. Her second-in-command laughed-- Starbase was still recovering from Valjean's attack. 

The rest of the message stated that they were going after the Sith, who was stationed at Tatooine. They requested backup. Brookiera did not hesitate to comply.

___

"Hello, Saint."

The Time Lord didn't answer Ivalji Valjean's greeting. The Sith wasn't expecting her to. "I'm very happy you're here. You see, when you turned yourself in, I thought I had lost the opportunity that you offered me. I should have realized that a girl who'd been in prison all her life wouldn't tolerate an hour more."

"Shut up."

Valjean smiled. "Of course. Isidora, would you mind escorting our guest to the chamber?"
The Chamelenite-- who had not bothered to shift-- led Saint to a small anteroom. Valjean followed, through another door, and placed a wired headdress on her black hair. The Time Lord fought as tubes were entered into her arms, head, legs, and stomach.

"Now, Saint," said Valjean, "Because you've never regenerated before, I figured it would be easier for you if the transfer of regeneration energy was forced. You might not be able to do it on your own."
"Wait--" Saint gasped, but Ivalji waited for no comeback. The end of the Time Lord's sentence was a scream.

I am very sorry, everyone. I was up to my neck in homework today, and I'm exhausted. I can guarantee nothing up tomorrow or Tuesday . . . we'll see about the rest of the week. In the meantime, maybe this can be sort of topped?

Attract attention!

top

Lindsey Sterling backround music!

___

The closed lightsaber sizzled at Ariel K'Tosh's feet, and she hesitantly picked it up. This shouldn't be too hard, she thought, switching it on. The sudden burst of light set her back a few footsteps. "Okay."

"Fascinating," said Spock. "The saber seems to be made of a similar material to our own phaser beams."
It's not so different from a Bat'leth, Ariel told herself, not really believing it. Hesitantly, she twisted it. The lightsaber was long and responsive, and it hurt her eyes a bit, but she could get used to it, she thought.

"Let's keep moving," said Captain Hickok. "We need to find the Saint."

They most surely did.

Saint was still screaming.

___

"Of course I'm going!"
Brookiera Koith did her best to stay calm. This was one of those rare times when she got frustrated, and she didn't enjoy the emotion. "Ivalji Valjean killed over twenty of my men. I need to help."

"No, you don't!" her second-in-command replied. "I'll go if you're so insistant! But you can't go, Brooke. You're too important."

She sighed. "You never used to care about important."
"That was a long time ago."

"We grew up together. Can't you give me this one chance? It's been so long since I was a captain."

He paused.

"Fine."

___

There was no one in the halls or the anteroom, which the landing party was surprised by. Was Valjean really so confident in her measley security?

In the large chamber, there was no Sith. There was, however, a Saint, standing by a small door, smiling at their arrival.

"Oh, there you are," she said brightly. "I'd been getting a little worried."

"What happened, you idiot?" asked Hickok.

"Valjean tried to overpower me," said Saint brightly, "but she couldn't!"

"So what happened?" demanded Kirk.

"She's dead."

"What?"

"I transferred my memories to her. Time Lords can do that, you know. They were too overpowering, and she died from it."

"How?"
"Oh, we just slammed heads. That's how it works."

Hickok was convinced, and he wrapped all four of his arms around her in a hug. She took it.

"Wait."

It was Ariel K'Tosh who had spoken. "Captain, that's not the Saint."

"Of course it is, Ariel!" said Hickok, unwrapping himself. "Everything she said could happen."

"That is true," Spock confirmed.

"That's not her, though," said Ariel. "There's something off about her . . . I'm not sure . . . "
"What are you talking about, Ariel?" asked Saint. "I'm me."

"Aha!" K'Tosh smiled. "Saint never calls me Ariel. She's pretty old-fashioned. She calls the captain 'Captain' or 'Hickok,' and she calls me 'K'Tosh.' You're not the Saint."

Spock raised his eyebrows, appreciating the logic.

The Chamelenite morphed back into her true form. "Give me my lightsaber."

"It's mine now."
To prove it, Ariel cut straight through the door.

The real Saint was drenched in sweat. She had stopped screaming, but her teeth were clenched, nails digging into her palms. When she saw K'Tosh's familiar face, she was able to let out one word.

"Help."

The partial-Klingon spun the lightsaber in her hands, suddenly enjoying the reach as it ripped through machinery. Saint exhaled. K'Tosh pulled the tubes out of her, and the Time Lord collapsed on the floor.

"Oh my Gallifrey," she was whispering, staring at her hands, where golden light was stil shimmering. "Oh my Gallifrey."

"Come on," said K'Tosh, tugging the Saint. "Let's get out of here. Come on."
"She took two of my regenerations away," said Saint. "Oh my Gallifrey."
"Right. Gallifrey. Come on."
Shakily, Saint stood.

Ivalji Valjean came out of the other room. She would have rather done the transferring for longer, but this was enough. She could feel the energy coursing through her.

Spock drew his phaser.

"Go ahead," said Valjean, raising her arms. "Shoot."

He did so.

Immediately, golden energy began leaking out of her hands, feet, and head.

"Shoot her again," croaked the Saint, supported by Ariel. "She'll regenerate if you don't. Shoot her--"

Spock did so, without hesitating.

Ivalji Valjean crumpled.

Brookiera Koith burst into the room with a team of twenty behind her. The Saint went over to Valjean and placed her hands on the Sith's forehead. Spock put his phaser away.

"I see we're a little late," said the Betazoid.

___

Saint held out her hands and was quickly cuffed.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" asked Hickok. "You don't have to."
"I attacked multiple Federation officers and murdered two people," Saint replied. "I have to."

"You take care of yourself," said K'Tosh firmly. "No more plugging yourself into regeneration-stealing machines, you understand?"
"Yes, mom," said Saint brightly.

"I know a good lawyer. Do you want his information?" asked Kirk.

"I'm pleading guilty. I don't think it really matters.

"'Bye, Spock," Saint added. Spock inclined his head, and held up his hand. His middle and index fingers were pressed together, as were his pinkie and fourth. "Live long and prosper."

Saint repeated the gesture. "Peace and long life."

Then she turned and walked into the ship, asking, "Do I have to wear a orange and black jumper? If I have to wear an orange and black jumper I'm changing my mind." 

____

The end.

Again, I'm going to put this all in a word document and edit it to perfection. Then I'll share it with you. And keep your eyes open for CBERS IN SPACE 2!