You are invited

Chatterbox: Pudding's Place

You are invited

You are invited to a Winter Ski Lodge Murder Mystery! 

Who: Everyone is invited to join. One of you is a murderer, but which one? 

What: This is a murder mystery. Every day, one person will die. Who is it? That's your job to figure out.

When: The game will begin on January 1 and end whenever it ends.

Where: The Ski Lodge. In other words, this page.

RSVP: I don't really care as long as you join sometime in December.

Various sundry rules and explanations:

-Each day I will write the story (probably in the morning or right after I get home if I have school). After that, you're welcome and encouraged to write your own view of the day.

-Big one: This isn't violent or gory.

-The motto: The funnier, the better.

-Basic geography does not apply. The Ski Lodge and Surrounding Territories more or less rewrites itself depending on how I want you guys to die.

-I don't decide who dies, so it's completely impartial. I pull everyone's names out of the Sugarbowl. The murderer comes out first (so I can keep track, really) and then I just draw a new name every day.

-Yes, the Sugarbowl is a Sugarbowl. I couldn't find a good hat the first time I wanted to do this and there is actually a skiing place in California called the Sugarbowl, so I thought, well, why not? It's more or less my Death Note.

-Pleeaaaassseee don't ask me to give you some long ridiculous name to put in the Sugarbowl. "Melody the Awesome Authority on all things Disney who is really Awesome" is so large, of course it's going to be pulled out right away.

-Like any good cartoon, logic and physics are overrated.

I hope you can join us.

-The Omnipotent Narrator 

submitted by T.O.N.
(December 1, 2013 - 9:29 pm)

I really ought to stop referencing things I've never watched, shouldn't I? I read the first two books but never saw any of the movies. As for my own strawberries, it turns out they weren't poisoned, but I had to eat the entire bowl to tell.

submitted by T.O.N.
(January 23, 2014 - 10:10 am)

Day 23

Instead of beating around the bush, today the story is simply plowing through that poor hedge. SC, while skiing, was bitten by a radioactive spider. Sadly, she did not receive superpowers but instead went to the big ski lodge in the sky.

Grace: She wasn't the murderer? That's a shock.

BHR: You're telling me. I guess you've been murdering people, Grace?

Grace: What? No, I haven't! It was you!

BHR: I've never killed anyone- okay, except for Jem Louise Margaret- in my life. And you've killed her, too, so don't go saying you're oh so innocent. You've been a bad girl, Grace, and I should- Melody, what song works well here?

Melody: Well, now that you mention it, I'd recomend-

Grace: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where did you all come from?

S.E.: We're ghosts, Grace. We can come from anywhere at any time.

Blue Fairy: She means we took an Amtrak bus and came through the front door. (I think there are Amtraks not in California, but if there aren't, well, you guys took an Amtrak to somewhere in California and then came to the lodge.)

Theo: Did we think we'd miss out on you guys figuring which person has been killing all the rest?

Red: Plus, we need to let you into the Murderer Hall of Fame. You receive bragging rights.

Lizzy: Those are some weird bragging rights.

BHR: So, what do you guys want us to do? 

SC: Have a gladiator battle!

Teresa: A trial by combat!

Ima: The winner is innocent and comes away, only to arrive at the...

Bounty and Watermelon: GUILLOTINE! GUILLOTINE! GUILLOTINE!

Maggie: Fun for the whole family!

Grace: No.

Corina: Aw, come on!

Gollum: We haven't even rolled out the betting tables yet!

Grace: Betting? Really?

Blue Fairy: Yup. I've finally learned to always bet on my family.

Grace: Yeah, no. Get out.

Skyler: Out? What's that mean?

BHR: It means you take your transparent butts out the door before I kick you all out.

Gilraen: Aw, come on, please can we stay?

BHR: No. Scat.

Blackberry: Why not? We won't make a mess. I'm sure SC can clean it up if we do.

SC: Hey!

Grace: I want to have a little chat with BHR myself. This murderer is going to be punished, and if I have to get my hands dirty to make sure that no one else dies, then so be it.

BHR: Excuse me, aren't they already quite dirty? I'm going to avenge Corina and make sure you don't leave this lodge alive.

Grace: Bring it on.

Tovah: Fight! Fight! Fight!

Grace: Out! All of you! 

BHR: And be sure to check this page out tomorrow, readers. Day 24 will be posted at 9:30 EST. Be there or be square!

Red: And you know what happend when you get a square in the act, right Melody?

Melody: You can set music back to the caveman days!

Grace: OUT!

Rest in peace, SC. Rest in peace. 

submitted by T.O.N.
(January 23, 2014 - 6:22 pm)

Ooh, this is tricky. I don't know who it might be. Is the time correct?

submitted by Maggie, age 12, nowhere pleasant
(January 23, 2014 - 8:20 pm)

I think so. I intend to put it up in the morning; it'll be 6:30 where I live. It should be online by the time most of you guys get home from school.

submitted by T.O.N.
(January 23, 2014 - 8:32 pm)

Well... This was an unexpected turnout, to say the least.

submitted by Blonde Heroines Rule, age classified, Not tellin. Ha!
(January 23, 2014 - 8:31 pm)

BHR's the murderer.

submitted by Bounty, age 11 forever, ?
(January 23, 2014 - 9:04 pm)

I was thinking Cell Block Tango when BHR asked me which song would go best but that's not Disney.  It's from Chicago.  There's a Disney-ized version of it by Todrick Hall called Spell Block Tango, though.  If you know all the movies it references and the original song, it's actually really cool.

 

I think for whatever happens tomorrow, The Final Countdown should be blaring in the background.  I'm not saying you should put this into your writing, just that I think it would be funny if one was to listen to it while reading. 

submitted by Melody, age 15, Disney
(January 23, 2014 - 9:24 pm)

GOSH darn it.

I was so close to being the murderer. So close.  So close.

submitted by SC
(January 23, 2014 - 10:42 pm)

I really think that BHR is the murderer. I won't be here at 9:30 because I'm at school. SUSPENSE!!!AAHHHHH!!!

submitted by Grace
(January 23, 2014 - 8:58 pm)

Day 24

Jem Louise Margaret, having been stabbed by one of the ghosts yesterday, went off on revenge to find said ghost. She found them again, all right. Red offered to take the body back to the lodge and deliver a helpful comment.

Red: It's the final countdown! Na na na na! Na na na na-

Grace: OUT! 

A charter bus would arrive at 10:00 a.m. on Eastern Time. One girl would board it later that day, but which one? Grace knew she would be the one to go home. She was the good girl, the innocent one, not the murderer. If killing someone would help save the rest of the world, so be it. Grace had proved herself capable of killing for the greater good, but this time her death would have more consequences. Or was it always for the greater good? Did perhaps Grace arrange for the confrontation to save her skin? Ghosts couldn't testify in court, but if BHR got away alive... Well, Grace didn't want to think about it.

However, BHR would bet that she was the one going home on that bus. BHR had a family to go home to, a family who would love her no matter what. Would they still love her if she was a murderer? If Grace remained alive, her whole future could be jeopardized. But perhaps BHR was innocent. Perhaps today was the day she would truly become a heroine. Today, she would strike down the murderer of so many friends and be regaled as a blonde heroine at last. She would prove that blondes had the power to do anything when they fought with justice at their side.

Fencing foils had been waiting for the girls at their favorite spots at the dining room table. Who had laid them there? JLM was off on her ghost hunt or dead. The staff members were all out, getting up to whatever shenanigans the ski lodge staff got up to. If the lodge knew the mysterious gift-giver, it wasn't telling. 

The girls drifted around the lodge, avoiding each other and dreading (and also hoping) for the final time when they could face their destinies. The clocks ticked out each second, agonizingly fast, agonizingly slow, like a clockwork heartbeat. Minutes and hours ticked past, all pointing to the final time when the girls would do battle.

Finally, like ghosts they drifted into the large polished ballroom. What had seemed to be a pleasant, light-filled room earlier now seemed to be an execution chamber in the gloomy light of the cloudy day. The fencing foils suddenly seemed to lose their blunt ends and became deadly. As the girls lingered in the ballroom, they grew sharper, thicker, heavier. They began to dance, as befitted a ballroom, but it was a deadly dance. One mistake could mean death. Each dancer suddenly seemed to have more strength, more speed, more skill than they had before. Yesterday, they were ordinary girls, but today they seemed possessed by specters of professional swordfighters. In the heat of battle, no one could tell how much time had passed, but eventually Grace's strength began to flag. Not only was BHR an older girl, but her archery also gave her larger muscles and more stamina. Grace tried to resist her fatigue, but BHR sensed her weakness and increased her attack's feroicity. The foil was swept out of Grace's hand in one move and she dropped to her knees, staring white-eyed at the girl she once knew. The foil in her hand was now much longer and heavier and did not resemble a foil at all. The girl had changed nearly as much: her face bore a wicked smile and oddly vacant eyes.

BHR: I'm so happy you could join me here today, Grace. I'm afraid you won't be going home to your parents after all. I'm told the ghosts are very nice and I'm sure they'll welcome you. I know you'll want revenge, but what can you do? You're all just ghosts, after all, spectral bits of memories, and I have so much power in my hands. I've always been considered a little odd, I suppose, but that's only because people are afraid of me. This place has real power. I can feel it. The ski lodge is alive, Grace. Can't you feel it? The ski lodge has so much power but it can't cause change by itself, so it summons us here to work for it. It tempts us with pretty snow and fun games but in the end, Grace, it's all just a big trap. We've all fallen into it, only I will rise out again at the end, because I listen, Grace. I alone listen to the siren song of power. I am going to tell you a story now, Grace, a story of a group of skiers.

I've always loved wolves, and they're are tame ones around here. I fed them sausages until they trusted me and then I told them to play as they wanted. They took down Teresa quite handily, I must say. Next, I wanted to initaite my own murder. I took Gollum bungee jumping with me and cut the line while she was jumping. She has yet to learn not to turn her back on her enemies. Next, I wanted to remove suspicion. Everyone knows that Corina is my dear, dear friend. I seem so nice and happy, don't I? I would never kill a friend, would I? I made her tea and poisoned it and she never suspected a thing, dear sweet trusting girl that she is. Afterwards, I summoned my old friends, the alien unicorns. I begged them to capture one of you for study. You see, I could have taken you all out at once, but I didn't. I made you afraid of who would die next. I made you suspicious. You've noticed that I'm strong right, Grace? I used my strength to knock over a boulder at the top of a ski run and it smashed someone. I hardly targeted any particular one. If my attacks were random, they could not be predicted, and I couldn't be tracked. They were all so easy. I signed S.E. up for a death sweepstakes contest, summoned the giant rabbit to crush Theo (Melody taught me how, so many thanks to her!), and released a toxin in Watermelon's dinner. Once you became suspicious of Ivy, I used that suspicion against her and rounded up a mob. I called Bounty's mother once Watermelon mentioned that her mother would skin her and spread false stories of Bounty and Watermelon being naughty. I crushed Blu with a piano, konked Lizzy with an old bowl, drowned Blackberry in a tub of glitter, and summoned the Weeping Angles. We go way back, you see. I ordered an assassin through Melody's google account, whacked Gilraen with a candlestick, and ran over Skyler with a bicycle. I used the fear of the narrator as an excuse to guillotine Red. I called my old enemy kudzu over to dispose of Tovah and removed it as well. I let a radioactive spider out of the box I found it in and made it bite SC. There were so many names, SC, and so many faces. So many people died and they're all blurring together in my mind. You'll stand out alone in my mind, Grace, as my best death. I'll take some advice from Watermelon and Bounty, Grace. It's been lovely knowing you. Now, off with your head.

submitted by T.O.N.
(January 24, 2014 - 9:23 am)

It's amazing. I think I saw a reference to The Evillious Chronicles but I don't know...

submitted by Maggie , age 12, nowhere pleasant
(January 24, 2014 - 12:33 pm)

Wow. Geez, that really does sound like me! And I am ridiculously giddy over the fact I am the murderer. I've actually wondered for a long time. You left very good subtle hints.

The first was the message from the alien unicorns, and the mention of World Domination.

My suspicions were aroused again during Ivy's death, because it reminded me of the Salem Witch Trials, and I have a deep love of history.

Also, when the piano fell on Blue Fairy because I've mentioned I play piano.

Then the murderer dressed up old fashioned (I've always loved old fashioned clothing) to kill Lizzy. In the Willowing Whispers RP, my character Agnes is dressed "old fashioned" in traditional Swedish clothing.

The guillotine thing reminded me of what I like to do with Barbie dolls.

And the flamethower reminded me of my affinity for blowtorches.

All in all, I don't know if you meant for these to be clues, but they were. Mwahahaha! I'm the murderer! I need something that says "I am a lisenced murderer" to wear around.

submitted by Blonde Heroines Rule, age classified, Murdering, evidently
(January 24, 2014 - 2:54 pm)

I was trying to make BHR seem so obvious you would all pass over her and dismiss her as a red herring. It seems to have worked, as you only guessed her very close to the end. I consider this an enormous accomplishment as opposed to the times when the murderer was guessed very close to the beginning.

The alien unicorns were just being alien unicorns. They will take over the world shortly and request that you all remain calm. They will bring jobs, as they find that, strangely, a large amount of human unhappiness stems from not having jobs. Thus, the unicorns will enslave all the humans and because they are working all the time, they will have no cause to be unhappy. They will be so happy with their endless work, they will not even notice when the alien unicorns reonvate the planet into a large unicorn horn polishing shop. 

You dressed up in old fashioned clothing for Lizzy's death because the characters who took Jane away in the chapter "Bad Wednesday" wore really old fashioned clothes. I just like referencing things. I had wanted to kill Lizzy with "Bad Wednesday" from before I even started and the Sugarbowl was kind enough to let me pull Lizzy out on a Wednesday.

Red wants that as well. I should make a T-shirt design. 

submitted by T.O.N.
(January 24, 2014 - 7:33 pm)

Wow. Convenient similarities. You should make a t-shirt design, and post it on here. I'm serious. I would be really hyped to see something like that! I might even print it out, put it in a name tag, and wear it around! I'm not kidding.

submitted by Blonde Heroines Rule, age classified, Murdering
(January 24, 2014 - 10:43 pm)

I want an "I was the ski lodge murderer!" pin.  

 

@BHR

Hey, welcome to the "I murdered almost every CBer in a ski lodge club".  It's a bit lonely now because it's just me, you, and Red, but we have food and lemmings, so it's pretty fun!

submitted by Melody, age 15, Disney
(January 25, 2014 - 2:09 pm)