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Day 0This pe
Chatterbox: Pudding's Place
Day 0This pe
Day 0
This person might consider themselves to be an ordinary person, but today the life they have always lived might take a turn for the extraordinary. On May 15, a day like any other, this person picks up the mail. There are the usual ads, a letter from a family member, and- what's this? A letter addressed to the person but with no return address? Curious, this person thinks. Tearing open the envelope, the person reads the letter.
Dear Reader,
If you have received this letter, you have been invited to the greatest ski lodge party ever to occur. We would be very pleased if you would attend. We shall begin on July 15, giving you two months to RSVP. We shall be very sad if you cannot attend. Come, come! Join in our celebration. We have but a few rules:
- In the past, a couple of murderers have seemed to sneak into the lodge and murdered everyone. If you're a murderer, stay away, unless your name is Melody, Red, or BHR.
- It's all fun and games here. No matter what happens, everything shall be silly and fun.
- If you have no idea what I'm going on about, you can read the rules to any of the past ski lodge adventures (the top comment on Pudding's Place should be one). If you do, ignore this and keep reading.
- A new day is usually posted in the morning by me. Every day, a new installment in the story occurs.
- You're very welcome to write your point of view of the day (why most people don't is a mystery to me!) but please wait for me to put the day up first.
- Logic sometimes gets tossed out the window. Nobody needs that stuff!
- I do not pick who lives and dies- my immortal companion, the Sugarbowl, carries your names and I randomly draw them out.
- If you ask me to put a really long, narcissistic, name into the Sugarbowl (*cough cough Melody cough cough*)- Excuse me, I seem to have come down with a bit of a cold. As I was saying- if you do ask me to put such a long name in, I will ignore you and probably tease you about it for the rest of your life. Don't think I won't.
- I tend to make fun of people a lot (*cough cough Melody cough cough*). My goodness, that really is a very persistent cold! Please don't take it personally. Also, I am sure I will mess up someone's gender. Don't take that personally either. I botch personalities and tend to make a general mess of things. Moral of the story: Don't take anything here personally. If I mess with you, it means I like you.
- What a hypocrite- "but a few rules", my foot.
- I always feel like this section is hard to write. Eh, if you don't get things, read another rule page, or ask me questions.
We look forward to your participation. Please come join the show.
-The Omnipotent Narrator
The Sugarbowl is waking up... It is time to choose your own adventure. Will you come join?
submitted by T.O.N.
(May 15, 2014 - 5:35 pm)
(May 15, 2014 - 5:35 pm)
ONE DAY MORE!! (brownie points for reference)
I'm so excited!
(July 14, 2014 - 7:22 pm)
I get the reference! I actually made a music video to that song by myself. I filmed on my iPad, chose costumes, set it up, and lip synced! It was hard and fun, and it came out great! My friend and I were shopping today and we were in Target and she said it was too red and I started singing Red and Black. She ran away from me.
This is a huge ski lodge! I'm really excited! I've done it all times before, except I quit after I died the first time. I'M READY. *grabs stuffed bear and stands at the doorway, pulling glasses on my face real serious*....they won't know what hit them....
(July 14, 2014 - 9:43 pm)
Haha, that's awesome! That's the exact sort of thing my friends and I would do. And yesterday was Bastille Day, so it was really appropriate!
(July 15, 2014 - 10:27 am)
Yesssss Les Miserables! (probably nobody will see this but whatever :P )
(May 22, 2023 - 1:42 pm)
I'm PUMPED.
This must be the biggest ski lodge we've ever had on the CB.
(July 14, 2014 - 8:37 pm)
Day 1
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.
Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think high-speed Internet is a pretty neat idea.
The plane has a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of those were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper were unhappy.
And so the problem remained; lots of people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with high-speed Internet.
Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.
And then, one Thursday, thirty-one people received letters in the mail asking them to come skiing on their summer vacations, which the thirty-one occupants found incredibly odd, considering it was the middle of summer in the Northern Hemisphere. The person who sent out those thirty-one letters soon found himself with thirty-one letters addressed to him asking him if he was mad. The person sent back out thirty-one more letters assuring them he was, and the matter went on from there.
Two months from our eventful Thursday in May, the thirty-one receivers of the letters fondly lied to their parents, telling them that they would be all right, wouldn't stay up too late or eat too many desserts, and would be back in time for the school year. These are the kinds of lies all children tell their parents before going off on highly irresponsible adventures.
The Admins fondly waved goodbye to the children before retreating to their underground Batman-style cave (a.k.a. Cricket Media office) to go about the serious business of making a magazine, which seemed to consist of a lot of drinking large amounts of Coca Cola, playing Ping-Pong, and Keeping up with the Kardashians.
The children seemed unsure of how to get to the mysterious ski lodge at first, seeing as the irresponsible narrator had cheerfully neglected to mention where the blazes this ski lodge was, decided it was Somebody Else's Problem (namely the irresponsible narrator), and found themselves suddenly at the ski lodge in a small Italian bistro. Once they exited the bistro, it seemed to not exist any longer at all. It was at this point that the children decided that the narrator was without a doubt completely mad and simply gave up caring.
Teresa: I can’t wait to go skiing!
Bounty: I can’t wait to have a pillow fight!
Ellie: I can’t wait to drink hot chocolate!
FantasyQuill: I can’t wait to see if any dragons come back!
Violet: Wait, what?
S.E.: We have a Phoenix at least...
I would like to take this moment to point out that the word “Phoenix” is utterly ridiculous because everyone I know says it like “Pheonix” and nobody says “Phoenix”. This is entirely pertinent, carry on.
Corina: Your name is too long, Fire Eyes Phoenix. You’ll have to shorten it.
BHR: Great to have you along, Fep!
Phoenix: “Fep”...?
BHR: That’s your new nickname!
Phoenix: Ahaha, no.
WritingWarrior: Hi, Fep!
Katie: Nice to meet you, Fep!
Nina: Let’s go inside, Fep!
Phoenix: No, really, please call me--
It was at this point the children entered the lodge to--
Phoenix: But--
It was at this point the--
Phoenix: But--
It was at--
Phoenix: But--
The next person to interrupt me will have their head removed from their body in a not very peaceful fashion. Anyone who insists on having three words as their name will be abbreviated. Blonde Heroines Rule becomes BHR, SomeonePlusFour becomes SPF, and Fire Eyes Phoenix of the Unspellable Name becomes Fep. Got it? Good.
SPF: Well, I like it.
It was at this point the children entered the lodge to find their rooms and roommates. The roommate listings are not changing, you get what you get, and if you throw a fit, you get thrown into the ocean. (Going from front of hall to back)
BHR-Corina across from SPF-Jack
Ivy-Alice across from S.E.-Nina
Melody-Moss across from Teresa-WritingWarrior
Fep-Ellie across from Theo-Max
Madeline-Katie across from Maggie-Blu
Joe-Red across from Violet-Bounty
Watermelon-CaptainRead across from Bookbug-FantasyQuill
Zach-John (who shall promptly be dubbed Johnny for my entertainment) across from Mag Fan (That’s not fair, you cry! Life isn’t fair, either, I cry, and she’ll probably be dead soon anyway, so why does it matter?
Mag Fan: Wait, what? Did I just miss something?)
I must resist the urge to re-enact The Shining with Johnny and Jack. I must resist the urge to re-enact The Shining with Johnny and Jack. I must resist-- is this thing on? Aw, *bleep*! Right! Narration! Here, you guys manage yourselves for ten minutes or so while I go get some coffee or something. Don’t blow anything up.
Theo: Someone’s breaking the fourth wall pretty early.
Maggie: Blu, please have an explanation for this wolverine in our room in the next five seconds or else I shall emit such a scream you will be deafened.
Blu: EEEEEEEEEEH!
Zach: Don’t look now, Maggie, but I think Blu just deafened me.
Jack: What did you just say? I can’t hear anything!
Blu: Look at the little cutie! Isn’t she adorable? I can’t believe they left me a real wolverine!
Madeline: I must be dreaming, because that wolverine is wearing a collar and a name tag.
Violet: If you’re dreaming, then we must be having the exact same dream.
Max: Well? What’s the wolverine’s name? Why do you look upset all of a sudden?
Blu: ... Samus.
Bookbug: What?
Blu: The wolverine’s name is Samus.
BHR: The space bounty hunter?
Bounty: Somebody call me?
Watermelon: I want to call to attention the sheer number of “B”s in those few lines.
Corina: What’s wrong with Samus?
Blu: I was hoping for something like Mrs. Cuddles!
Moss: Um, guys? I hate to break up the party, but my roommate is gone.
Ivy: So is mine.
It was at this point that Alice, who had been sound asleep moments before, suddenly, with the force of one who has just driven into a brick wall, realised that she forgot to set her alarm.
Alice: Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!
At least, this is what she reportedly said. The actual version may be closer to some words the Admins would frown greatly upon if written out which, for modesty’s sake, will be repressed here.
Two minutes later, the Admins, now drinking a strange concoction of coffee and Yoohoo, waved cheerfully as Alice ran to the train station, still spouting those words which for modesty’s sake have been edited out.
While on the train, a very helpful little voice informed the narrator of a pun he could make and the narrator informed the very helpful little voice of a bucket he could go stick his head in.
Alice burst into the ski lodge, but, sadly, her dramatic arrival was overshadowed by a rather large warthog bursting out of the fireplace caterwauling “The Circle of Life” at the top of its lungs. A second opinion clarified that is was actually Melody in a large headdress and an unhealthy amount of makeup.
Joe: Red? Were you startled by that just now?
Red: Yes.
Joe: I can tell. It’s all very well to be startled by something like this, but if you could stop bear-hugging me in fright in the next couple of minutes, I think we’d both be a lot happier.
The rest of the day was dedicated to extracting Teresa from the ceiling where she seemed to have ended up after Melody’s dramatic entrance.
CaptainRead: And here I thought I would never have a use for this giant fly swatter.
(July 15, 2014 - 11:44 am)
I would dain to offer my sincerest apologies to a certain T.O.N ( who is reported to be the infamous Ruby) as I have accidentally managed to slip and send them toppling down a certain ski route. As to my name - - Fire Eyes Phoenix will suffice, unless you feel the need add an esquire or some such thing to the end. I do NOT approve of abbreviations. I have sent for the medics to help our dear friend Monsieur TON with any injuries, but I fear they may be a bit late.
Ah, well... I might as well wait here in the cafe. The hot chocolate really is quite excellent. Would you care for sugar in your tea Ivy? No? Writing Warrior, dear, I'm sure everyone would feel much safer if you stopped pickpocketing Joe and using the money for poker.... However, you are quite good at cards. Oh no! I would flush if I were you... Your hand really is quite dreadful. Alice, dear, stop telling off that rabbit. You're as mad as TON himself. And wash out your mouth with soap, your language is getting quite...unusual.
Hurrah! Here are the medics! My condolences Meisuir la T.O.N. I am glad you were not killed by that fall (Or am I?). I look forward to another adventurous day at your lodge.
(July 15, 2014 - 2:08 pm)
~WritingWarrior's Ski Lodge Diary~
So far, this has been pretty good for a first ski lodge trip. The narrator appears to have gone slightly more mad than in the previous ones, even going as far as to quote the entirety of the beginning of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". But all is well.
The Italian bistro was strange, but I was able to grab a delicious pizza slice before it disappeared. Sharing a bunk with Teresa is also good.
The one thing which slightly terrifies me, besides the dramatic entrances which accompany Melody's Disney-Song-of-the-Day (poor Teresa!), is that JEM hasn't popped up yet! Odd. I will keep an eye out for her tomorrow.
~WritingWarrior~
(July 15, 2014 - 2:10 pm)
My sincerest regrets to T.O.N, who seems to be under the misapprehension that my name is FEP. Why, I assure you it is not. Fire Eyes Phoenix will suffice, unless you care to add the title "Lady" to the beginning or "esquire" to the end. That, indeed will be your choice. I am not a diva, and do not insist upon titles. However, I am so sorry for earlier tonight, when I bumped you off the observation deck. Pushed you, you say? I assure you I did no such thing! However, the medic will be here soon. I hope the snow down there is as lovely and soft as it looks. Stop moaning about your tailbone. Why, you'd cry about a splinter! There's really not much I can do to help, so I think I'll go inside. The coco looks quite excellent, and even with this mink coat, it's chilly out here.
Ivy do you take sugar in your tea? No? WritingWarrior, dear, I'm sure everyone would feel much safer is you would stop pickpocketing Joe and using the money for poker. Although, you do seem to be quite good at it, and I'm sure that Joe doesn't mind losing a couple thousand dollars. Do you Joe? Oh, thank you for being such a dear, Joe ( Joe scowls). *Looking at WritingWarrior's hand, I wince* ah! Now you're going to have to fold. Your hand really is dreadful, don't you know? Max's isn't much better... Oh, Alice darling! Stop telling off that poor rabbit and go wash out your mouth with soap! For goodness sake, your language really is quite dreadful. And Melody, that warthog costume is absurd. You'll catch your death of cold soon.
Oh! Look out the window! The medics are here at last! T.O.N dear fellow, are you all right? Excuse my clumsiness. Why, to think, you could have been killed! But I must return to my poker game. They really can't play without me. I hope your injuries heal quickly... After all, you wouldn't want to spoil your trip!
(July 15, 2014 - 2:57 pm)
And just for that, young lady, you're going to be called Fep for the rest of the trip.
(July 15, 2014 - 3:15 pm)
The least you could do would be to capitalize all three letters. Fep is not half as nice as FEP.
(July 15, 2014 - 3:25 pm)
Me? A pickpocket? Well, I could certainly say the same for you, Miss Lady Fire Eyes Phoenix Esquire. Yes, that's right, I saw you snitching money from TON! I was right behind you two on that observation deck, looking down on the dense, desolate forest (empty save for Joe wandering around with a video camera for reasons unknown) when right before your little "accident", TON's wallet just so happened to fall into your hands...
*adjusts fedora and adds those cute little mini marshmallows to hot chocolate*
Ah, drat, but you are right about my poker hand. Some most unfortunate cards. *fold* Wait--wait--Corina? It's you who has won this round? When did you develop such skill with cards?
(July 15, 2014 - 6:47 pm)
Fun fact- I don't keep money in my wallet in the summer. It's a very nice duct tape wallet, though, so I would like it back soon.
(July 15, 2014 - 7:12 pm)
Me, a pickpocket? You're entirely right. I used TON's money to tip the medic, who unfortunately charges more than my carriage driver. But he may have the rest, as it is near the table in the pocket of my mink coat.
However you are right... This poker game is entirely in Corina's favor. Do we have a card shark on our hands?
(July 15, 2014 - 7:18 pm)
The least I could do is a great deal short of this, but I'll call you FEP if you want. I used the term "Fep" because it sounded more like a name to me and I thought you would appreciate being called a nickname rather than an abbreviation. If you'd rather FEP, then FEP it is. I'm sorry I'm shortening your name, but in a long story such as this, it takes more time to write out everybody's name and I have neither the time nor the patience to embark on such a venture.
Let's not fight about such a small thing, all right? I hope you enjoy the rest of the ski lodge.
I think FEP is a good solution. T.O.N. is devoting a great amount of time to the writing of this story, which entertains us all. I support whatever will make it easier for our esteemed Narrator. And I look forward to reading each new chapter as soon as it comes in. Thank you, T.O.N. Are there any cross-country trails around the ski lodge? I love cross-country skiing. . . .
Admin
(July 15, 2014 - 6:50 pm)