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First Sentence Contest
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First Sentence Contest...
First Sentence Contest
This is an idea I came up with in an attempt to help revive BaB!
I will provide a summary of an invented book (it doesn't have to be actually written, just a book idea -- and it cannot be an already published book). Then you will post a sentence that you think would make a good first sentence for the book.
Remember, first sentences are very important. It's what pulls you in and keeps you reading. Books with good first sentences are usually very good.
Deadline is October 16. I will judge on the 17. Whoever wins first place will be the next judge. If you win first place and would rather not judge please tell me and the role of judge will go to the second place winner.
Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions! I look forward to reading your first sentences.
Story Summary:
Humans have finally landed on Mars. The human habitat is encased in domes of transparent material. Drones big enough to transport people fly around, hovering above the surface of Mars. Contact with Earth is strong and extremely important. Everything is going well, until contact with Earth ceases. No one knows why and things are tense. When one of the transparent domes start leaking the precious air into the Mars atmosphere the tenseness escalates at an alarming pace. There isn't enough oxygen and supplies to share with others for long. Groups of humans turn against other groups. Everyone is blaming another and nothing towards fixing the problems is being done. Sevianna -- a young girl born on Mars who has never seen or set foot on Earth -- realizes that something must be done. The adults aren't doing anything, so she gathers the other Martian children. Together they must save the human habitat and reconnect with Earth. It is a daunting task and many children give up. Soon only Sevianna and three other children are left trying to fix the problems. Can so few do it? Or are they doomed with the rest of the humans on Mars?
submitted by Peregrine, age Many moons, The Eyrie
(October 6, 2020 - 10:25 am)
(October 6, 2020 - 10:25 am)
Fine by me! Here's my sentence:
A dragon came to life on my page with hard, angry lines. Drawing was the only way to let it out, to express myself. My parents don't know. No one knows. Or so I thought.
(February 9, 2021 - 10:18 am)
The worlds I am creating with my pencil are simultaneously fierce and
timid. If anyone found these drawings, I would be horrified. At the same
time, a part of me cringes at the though of my work, my thoughts, a
piece of my mind, being locked away forever. I'd never be brave
enough to show them anyways, so it's not as if it's something I have to
worry about.
(February 10, 2021 - 8:31 pm)
Genevieve clutched the key in a sweaty hand, knowing her hand would have a metallic stench attached to it later, but she didn't care about that right now- she was this close to opening the door, but the thing refused to budge. She jammed the key back into the hole, twisting it the other direction and gasped as the door swung open, hitting the wall with a loud thunk.
(February 22, 2021 - 8:17 pm)
(oof i keep on geeting to do the next prompt then forgetting! I'm so sorry! i think i won't enter on this thread anymore lol)
(February 11, 2021 - 12:53 pm)
(This is Kitten.)
(February 15, 2021 - 11:53 pm)
The brass key seems to shine with a golden luminescence through the layers of rust and dirt. My fingertips hover above it, and before I can pull away, it's sitting in my hand, it's delicate ornate features humming victoriously, but I can't remember ever picking it up.
(February 16, 2021 - 3:13 pm)
(February 20, 2021 - 2:34 pm)
The cloud-white page was filled with rough sketches of an ornate metal key, each detail picked out in dark gray led. I studied my drawing with a frown, not knowing that soon I would see my creation come to life... and change everything.
(February 23, 2021 - 3:29 pm)
Oops, I seem to have missed the deadline. Sorry! I had a hard time with this judging beacuse each submission was so fabulous in different ways, but at long last, I've settled upon these results. Here we go:
In third place... Zev! Your submission is technically longer than two sentences, but that's okay, because the first sentence alone is fabulous. "simultaneously fierce and timid" is such a wonderful description that I have to know more.
In second place... Luminescence! The long, frantic sentences immediately pull me into the action and make me need to find out what's happening next. Why is she so desperate to open the door? What's behind it?
And in first place... Silver Crystal! I absolutely love the description in your sentences. They have a wonderfully unsettling feeling that draws me in and makes me want to read more.
I believe both Silver Crystal and Lumi have already judged, so either Zev can do this next round or we can decide that it's okay if some people go twice, as we do over at the poetry contest. Up to you guys!
(February 27, 2021 - 2:09 pm)
Omg, thank you sooo much Kitten! Everyone did such and amazing job! Since I already judged (and I believe Lumi did too, correct me if I'm wrong), Zev should judge next, if it's ok with Lumi.
(February 27, 2021 - 10:59 pm)
I agree with Silver.
However, I think that because BaB tends to be rather inactive, we should set a time limit for how long someone has to see it.
Otherwise, the thread gets gunked up with "@____! You won!" comments. And also people forget about the thread because nothing's happening.
So perhaps one has 3 or 4 days to see the comments and post a new prompt? and then it either goes to first place (in this case) or second place (if the first place person is who was supposed to judge).
What do y'all think?
(March 1, 2021 - 9:19 pm)
Well, now it's been 6 days so I think we ought to just let Silver judge.
(March 8, 2021 - 11:02 am)
Ok, so since Zev hasn't responded yet and I really don't want this thread to die, I'll give the next prompt:
The royal House of Gorsedd has ruled over the Kingdom of Cariad, supported by the Council. However, as time went on, the Council gained more power and the House of Gorsedd became more and more of a figurehead. Many in the kingdom believe that the Kings and Queens of the Gorsedd family could have taken power back, but they prefer a life of leisure where they can leave the governing to the Council. Eventually, King Brenin Gorsedd and his wife died early of sickness, leaving behind a small girl as the only heir, which no one outside the palace has ever seen. Now the Council has complete control of Cariad, claiming that the Princess declines any ruling position. Some think that they have the girl locked away somewhere, others speculate that she never existed in the first place, since no one has ever seen her. Now, with the Council oppressing the people more and more, people find themselved praying that their Princess will finally find her courage and stand up to the Council, if she was ever real in the first place.
Ariella has grown up as a servant girl in the palace, knowing perfectly well, as well as everyone else in the palace, that this 'Hidden Princess' does not exist (they're not allowed to tell anyone that, though; in fact, everyone who knows the secret is not permitted to leave the palace). She was adopted by a Councilman when she was young, after her parents, two regular servants, died.
Ariella, of course, is the Hidden Princess, though she doesn't know that, and the Council will do anything to make sure her identity stays a secret. But one night she comes across a prisoner while lost in the dungeons, the brother to King Brenin, who claims to be her uncle.
It all goes downhill from there.
~~
Sorry, that was a little long, sorry if it's confusing, I kinda got carried away XD Feel tree to take whatever creative lisence you want with it.
(March 8, 2021 - 3:41 pm)
She did not know when she had learned the legend of the Hidden Princess- it was just something she knew- and she did not know how many times she had wished it wasn't just a legend- it was just her little fantasy. But now her world had been turned upside down- by just those eight words, But don't you know I'm your uncle, child?- and she was her own legend all along, because she, Ariella, was the Hidden Princess she'd spent her childhood daydreaming about.
(March 9, 2021 - 4:24 pm)
"I'm sorry, but you must be delusional, sir, I don't have any relatives, so we can't be related." Ariella says, backing away from the man's cell, ready to flee.
(March 9, 2021 - 7:55 pm)