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Funny Things my
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Funny Things my
Funny Things my Friends Have Said, which is either number five or six. I know Abi usually does this but I couldn't resist making another one, since they always make me laugh. Also, I've learned to write down funny things my friends & family say.
"You DON'T need to tell me where my FACE is."
"I cordiallly invite you to play Assassin's Creed tonight...no wait, scratch that, I'll eat toast."
"You should dye your hair light black!"
"I hit Inara!" "No, you hit the chair, and will you STOP THROWING THE CHICKEN!"
"My goat supply is secure!!"
"We're going to a Hunger Games tournament." "REALLY?" "No, it's just archery class." "Aww..."
"Does technology include Oreos? Just wondering."
"Kylo Ren is a shiny crab that SINGS."
-that time when my friend Sarah was describing her plan to become a hermit and live in a hut in the woods, (out of her exasperation with humanity) and our friend Maggie overheard the conversation, made an indignant expression, and said "Did you steal my plan?" and then said "Well, we'll just have to have a hermit rivalry, then."
"DEATH PICKLES."
"Guys! We need to go and set up lawn chairs in the mall and get into wizard robes and sit and Avada Kedavra everyone who walks by, and see how long we can go before the police show up and detain us."
"You read E-BOOKS??" "Yeah...?" "I OFFICIALLY HATE YOU."
"It was REALLY good, although I'm sure you could poke a dozen holes in the plot with a toothpick"
"I ended up pacing back and forth until like 1:00"
"Miraculous Ladybug Is The Only Repetitive Show I Like."
"I'm quite chuffed about how these characters have turned out."
submitted by Leafpool, age Finite, This side of reality
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
"Your eyebrows are soft"
"Hey, I'm a rapper!" *Does bad Hamilton* "I never said I was a good rapper."
"We need ice cream. Desperately."
"DEAD CHILDHOOD"
(September 3, 2018 - 8:10 am)
@Abigail the second person in your second funny quote is me. I would totally say that, and everybody I know would be the other person XD
(September 3, 2018 - 6:40 pm)
"No, that macaroni's already flying through the universe!"
"I'm researching Darth Malak's disproportionately long legs!"
*throws pile of clay at table* "Hey look! It's Stonehenge!"
I will provide explanations if anyone wants me to XD
(September 4, 2018 - 12:36 pm)
"Do my shoulders offend you?"
"HOW DO DID I IMPAIL MYSELF ON A BOOK?!?!" "Books are sharp."
"I'M GONNA ATTACK A DRAWER WITH MY HEAD!" *two seconds later* "I HAVE ATTACKED A DRAWER WITH MY HEAD!" *clunking noises*
"IT'S A SNIFFLER!" *crawls around with elbows pointed up and nose really close to the floor*
"Note: DOn't play jumprope with chaging cords, it hurts."
"THE BASKET FELL ON MY BUTT!"
*sung quietly* "I'm gonna play jumprope with a snake"
"Rylee wants to catch up... and musturd... and everything else you put on a hotdog"
"IT'S IN SEPTEMBEEEEEEE"
Most of these were said by Tyberious when we were really tired and silly and stupid.
(September 4, 2018 - 6:57 pm)
SO. MANY. Here we go again:
"RIP, tiny pencil."
"You look like a baby dinosaur cat" "Nah, more like a ferret." "You mean a yeeting ferretgoat!"
"I need my glasses! I wanna seeeeeeeeee!"
"I'm a looser" "I'm a bigger looser"
"Rock paper scissors PLANT! PLANT, I tell you!"
"I will break your face" "It's already broken" "True"
*Hands Twinkie* "My savior"
*Points at school food* "Is that a UFO?"
"Oliver is a dead skin cell."
(September 4, 2018 - 8:20 pm)
"Revan isn't marked, I think it's because it has a donut after it?"
(September 5, 2018 - 1:54 pm)
"CHOKIT NANNY!" (a reference to a brownie my dad and I saw at a coffee shop)
"Do you think the megalithic toilet is going to eventually show up in people's beds?"
(September 5, 2018 - 2:32 pm)
"You already ate Kermit the frog"
"My three-year-old buddy is antisocial."
"STICKY FACE!"
"If you hit Alexandra one more time, I will claw you."
"What's for dinner?" "Warm cereal."
"The milk will be curdled... gives it more texture."
(September 5, 2018 - 5:46 pm)
"I had to do that. I had to moan- scream."
"I wanna die in a hole"
"How do you belch fabulously?" "Easy. It just has to be loud, long, and disgusting."
"That's Death's pen, I tell you!'
"I'm a garbage hoarder."
"An old lady is hitting me with her purse."
"You will be abandoned from the Drop Club"
"Our president's an Oompa Loompa."
"You da claw!"
"What's a butt?"
"Mrs. Rettig is death."
"Your face, which is also a butt, is a dead skin cell."
(September 6, 2018 - 5:07 pm)
*My Language Arts Teacher to all of her first period (I have her then)* "Listen close small children... nothing is safe."
"5 3/4 PUSH UPS! READY? DOWN UP 1! DOWN UP 2! DOWN UP 3! DOWN UP 4! DOWN UP 5! DOWN AND A BIT!"
(September 6, 2018 - 5:24 pm)
"You're a drip-drop and you know it. You're just denying it."
"Marina the Tortuga... AAAAAAA... AAAAAAA... AAAAAAA."
"Your breath smells like rotten poptarts."
"You... are a fool... and there's nothing wrong with that."
"You're meaner then your binder, and that's saying something."
"You have a lunchbox in your lunchbox?"
"The school pizza is made out of cardboard, some ketchup, and modified salt."
"I'm gonna go die in a hole" "But that's my saying!"
"We should die in holes on opposite sides of the universe."
Boo says bnge. I think he's binge watching something.
(September 8, 2018 - 7:47 am)
Me: “I’m a better thief than the actual thief in our party!”
Corinne: “How so?”
Me: *pulls out Corinne’s wallet from my pocket* “Isn’t this yours my friend?” *evil Cheshire Cat grin*
Corinne: “HoW dId YoU gEt ThAt?!?!” “It was on the table in front of you so I grabbed it and put it in my pocket, why?” *confused Corinne noises* *Gabe Sarah and Ty are laughing their butts off in the background*
Note: When I mention thieves I’m not in league with an actual thief, its just me talking to my friends about our D&D charries
(September 8, 2018 - 6:40 pm)
"If I die without seeing a ghost, demon, UFO or sum', I'm gonna kill myself"
"Imma sew my pink tie and my money tie together and it will be a reversible tie. That's what I'm wearing to homecoming"
"I would run through Walmart in my underwear for free"
"Instagram polls decide all my love life decisions"
"Don't even talk to me- I could rock an orange tux"
"Just call me Ankle Hairs"
(September 9, 2018 - 12:23 am)
"Sunburns: the silent killer."
(September 9, 2018 - 7:46 am)
"And James can evolve Pokemon by kicking them."
(September 9, 2018 - 9:38 pm)