Places to Chat
Funny Things my
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Funny Things my
Funny Things my Friends Have Said, which is either number five or six. I know Abi usually does this but I couldn't resist making another one, since they always make me laugh. Also, I've learned to write down funny things my friends & family say.
"You DON'T need to tell me where my FACE is."
"I cordiallly invite you to play Assassin's Creed tonight...no wait, scratch that, I'll eat toast."
"You should dye your hair light black!"
"I hit Inara!" "No, you hit the chair, and will you STOP THROWING THE CHICKEN!"
"My goat supply is secure!!"
"We're going to a Hunger Games tournament." "REALLY?" "No, it's just archery class." "Aww..."
"Does technology include Oreos? Just wondering."
"Kylo Ren is a shiny crab that SINGS."
-that time when my friend Sarah was describing her plan to become a hermit and live in a hut in the woods, (out of her exasperation with humanity) and our friend Maggie overheard the conversation, made an indignant expression, and said "Did you steal my plan?" and then said "Well, we'll just have to have a hermit rivalry, then."
"DEATH PICKLES."
"Guys! We need to go and set up lawn chairs in the mall and get into wizard robes and sit and Avada Kedavra everyone who walks by, and see how long we can go before the police show up and detain us."
"You read E-BOOKS??" "Yeah...?" "I OFFICIALLY HATE YOU."
"It was REALLY good, although I'm sure you could poke a dozen holes in the plot with a toothpick"
"I ended up pacing back and forth until like 1:00"
"Miraculous Ladybug Is The Only Repetitive Show I Like."
"I'm quite chuffed about how these characters have turned out."
submitted by Leafpool, age Finite, This side of reality
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
"I have a quail! She has a FREAKING TAMBOURINE!"
(September 17, 2018 - 7:58 pm)
This was said by me last night when I discovered an interactive play mat with a bunch of apps on it in an ice cream store. The apps changed every three minutes, and there was one where there were a bunch of balls on the screen, and when you stepped on them they would roll, but other than that nothing happened. So my friend and I were trying to figure out what was going on in the game, and I said this: "I think this app is supposed to be for relaxation." *proceeds to attack the balls while screaming "DIE"*
(September 18, 2018 - 11:50 am)
"Hokiepokiehatitoki IM HUNGRY"
"It's warm and fleshy, it's a human!"
*Tyberious states a heartfelt, beautiful poem* (my response)"Is this sneezing?"
"I tried to be sassy but the fan didn't like that."
(September 18, 2018 - 5:11 pm)
"I woke up at 6:00 just to take a nap"
"You've bruised my soul"
"I have a hostage in my locker"
"Tim status, bro"
"Your face is a theif because it stole my happiness."
"BLUEBERRY!" *Shoves in pool*
"Wait, why is your soul wet?"
"Holy top hat, it's P. T. Barnum!"
"I'm the middle of a human sandwich!"
"I will deep-fry your ferretgoat"
"Naptime cookies"
(September 18, 2018 - 6:04 pm)
"Spencer, there's a trapezoid on your shoulder."
"The murderer was murdered by a dead guy!"
"I will make your butt burn"
"Yesterday I took my balloon dog to the cactus museum... didn't work out too well"
"What should I throw at Liam?"
"I'm a foreign waning buttix" "But it's opposite day!" "... So waxing buttix!"
(September 20, 2018 - 5:05 pm)
I said these while thinking of you. If that's not creepy...
"The ancestor of the yeeting ferretgoat was the yagaing polecatsheep."
"There were also, as a predator of the yagaing polecatsheep, the legendary leopardwolves. They looked like wolves with rosettes and longer tails like leopards."
(September 21, 2018 - 1:02 am)
YEETING FERRETGOAT ORGINS HOLY STAPLED PAPER MY YEETING QUEEN
@Rouge that is just... wow. Just bootiful.
"GUYS! GAVIN'S DAD IS IRON MAN!"
"Albino grass"
"You're thinking of how badly you need to pee."
"NO OLIVER DON'T THROW UP ON ME"
"Ewww, I don't want your carbon dioxide!"
"I wanna draw a yeeting ferretgoat barfing rainbows"
(September 21, 2018 - 4:56 pm)
Me, last night:
"I need a BLIND SPOT DETECTOR on this recycling bin."
(September 21, 2018 - 11:52 am)
"Rishi is a spritual boi."
"If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it already." "Why did you say that so loud?" Another person: "To be more dramatic"
Well, this is more of a funny thing, but the fact that this kid in my class can't use a stapler
"And if you're a bad plant, you might turn into a rock in your next life." "How can you be a bad plant?"
"Turkistan"- what my teacher accidentally said instead of Turkmenistan
the dandruff of anarchy
(September 21, 2018 - 5:55 pm)
"That's the best drawing of a tooth holding a tooth I've ever seen!"
"She still has PSTD" (this isn't a typo)
"Como se dice YEET en espanol?"
(September 22, 2018 - 12:02 am)
"You just like shouting 'Eliza'? It's a nice name to shout. Kinda like Tim."
"Hashtag procrastinating"
"A chair is chasing Spencer."
"Cats in bananana peels"
"The WHISPERING hurts my EARS!"
"Aww, I wanna chainsaw!"
"I'm citrus intolerant."
"I have a chainsaw in my locker with my hostage."
"Never thought I would draw on the rear end of an orange."
"I will suck the blood out of a lemon"
(September 24, 2018 - 4:36 pm)
"ECHAAANNNNIIIIII" (long story, though I'd be happy to explain)
"DIRT! MUST HAVE DIRT!"
"RIP the basil! RIIIIIPPP IIIIITTTTTT"
There's probably more, but I've gotta leave right now.
*sound of skateboard zooming off*
(September 26, 2018 - 4:51 pm)
"DUNKIN" (you've gotta say it in a low voice and do the hand motion, which I can explain if anyone wants me to)
"Hurts... when I ___" (fill in the blank with whatever action you're doing. It's a quote from an old video game I'm obsessed with)
(September 26, 2018 - 5:38 pm)
~ "Dark Forest Green!" (said in an extremely overdramatic voice)
~ Backstage at a show I was in, there was a sticker that said 'Failure' right above one of the stage entrances, and we were constantly making jokes about it.
~ "*insert any sport*... it's a DANGEROUS game."
~ "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!" (The only rule for this one is that it cannot be used within a month of the person's actual birthdy)
~ "Sabrina is a TALKING TREE."
Have to go now, bye!
(September 27, 2018 - 5:49 am)
"Soooo, and example of irony would be, like, a person graffiting the words 'DON'T GRAFFITI' on a wall?"
So, our teacher was giving us a short speech on conductors and insulators, and someone in my class randomly said styrofoam, and it affected the teacher's next sentence: "Yes, between walls they put styrofoam." *pauses* "I mean't fiber glass!"
(September 27, 2018 - 8:48 pm)