Funny Things my

Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket

Funny Things my

Funny Things my Friends Have Said, which is either number five or six. I know Abi usually does this but I couldn't resist making another one, since they always make me laugh. Also, I've learned to write down funny things my friends & family say.

"You DON'T need to tell me where my FACE is."

"I cordiallly invite you to play Assassin's Creed wait, scratch that, I'll eat toast." 

"You should dye your hair light black!"

"I hit Inara!" "No, you hit the chair, and will you STOP THROWING THE CHICKEN!"

"My goat supply is secure!!"

"We're going to a Hunger Games tournament." "REALLY?" "No, it's just archery class." "Aww..."

"Does technology include Oreos? Just wondering."

"Kylo Ren is a shiny crab that SINGS."

-that time when my friend Sarah was describing her plan to become a hermit and live in a hut in the woods, (out of her exasperation with humanity) and our friend Maggie overheard the conversation, made an indignant expression, and said "Did you steal my plan?" and then said "Well, we'll just have to have a hermit rivalry, then." 


"Guys! We need to go and set up lawn chairs in the mall and get into wizard robes and sit and Avada Kedavra everyone who walks by, and see how long we can go before the police show up and detain us."

"You read E-BOOKS??" "Yeah...?" "I OFFICIALLY HATE YOU." 

"It was REALLY good, although I'm sure you could poke a dozen holes in the plot with a toothpick" 

"I ended up pacing back and forth until like 1:00" 

"Miraculous Ladybug Is The Only Repetitive Show I Like."

"I'm quite chuffed about how these characters have turned out." 


submitted by Leafpool, age Finite, This side of reality
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)

That literally made my day. Hmmm, I can't remember any exact quotes of funny things my friends said, but currently in email with one of my friends, we have an emoji war, and recently a smirk war was born, mostly because I am completely obsessed with KOTLC and Keefe. If you've read the books you can guess EXCACTLY how it started. XD

Also, the same friend has been throwing phrases of different languages at me in email! I am plotting to somehow send her a paragraph of Russian if at all possible. *evil grin*

And a Harry Potter magazine she found for like $15 (can you believe it) was christened "The Precious." In that certain group of friends where I see her, we have a LOT of inside jokes, most of which came into being on a sleepover we had, including "Bombardyou back," which has a specific emphasis on the second syllable of "bombard", and was born during the pillow fight I started. Buuut anyways, I probably should be going to bed now.

submitted by Aspen
(February 16, 2018 - 10:05 pm)

You speak Russian?! Russian is my native language!!

submitted by Peaches, age Immortal, Mt. Olympus with Demeter
(November 12, 2018 - 12:14 pm)

"Stop quoting Ian or I will flip you upside down!"

"Who knows, they're dragons!" (inside joke)

"What do you like to do?" "Die."

"I'm not scared of fire! Not even sparky glowing green fire on a stick!"

"No one knows who Dedalus Diggle is!"

"You should paint the four corners magic."

"Turn into flowers you cute devil!"

submitted by Blue Moon, age 11, Formerly Autumn Moon
(February 17, 2018 - 2:54 pm)

"Turn into flowers you cute devil." Ahhhhh that is THE BEST! 

submitted by Silverwaxwing
(April 6, 2018 - 6:26 pm)

Ooh boy, have I got things to say....

"Hey Blake, remember that one RP where there were all those wolf things and you were the only one that was an actual person?"


"I told Mo to slap Jackson and now he has a red handprint on his face."

"No, I didn't draw this, I employed an artist to do it for me!"

"The only time I tried to join a roleplay I totally failed."

"Your name is Ellyse but you told me to call you my dad."

"I'm a robot, but I'm not a dishwasher."

"I can't believe I fell asleep texting."

"Can I draw something on your flipnote?"


"What language are you from!?"

"Do you want some soap?"

"They're fake orbeez, we're gonna throw them at each other during lunch."

"They're non-toxic, so I think Shane's going to eat some of them."

"Guys stop blasting my phone!"

"Yeah, I can rap Guns and Ships." *proceeds to rap the whole thing at like 2x speed*

"Hamil-ham!  Hammock Stand!  Adbomen!  Anagram!  And the finally get it right on the last one!  HAMILTON!!!"


I might come back later and write more. 

submitted by Lucy B., age 13, Emmilvien
(February 17, 2018 - 6:40 pm)


submitted by Ella Starburst, HOME
(January 26, 2019 - 2:52 pm)

- "No. Sincerely, Bob."

- "Well, bye then. I'm off to have an existential crisis. See ya."

- "Wait, we're putting on Hamlet? I though we were putting on Suessical Jr.?"

- "Dead people always have fabulous hair, I should know." l

- "Josie, if you take one step closer with that thing you call 'Peanut Butter', you will not live another. day."

- "I will turn you into a... Toad. You hate toads, right? Right?

- "Who are you voting for?" "Beyoncé. Obviously."

submitted by Quirker, age 14
(February 17, 2018 - 8:17 pm)

The fourth one XD. Also, is the first one a Dear Evan Hansesn reference? 

submitted by Crookshanks
(February 18, 2018 - 10:55 am)

Wait a minute, I said that dead people have awesome hair... OH MY HOLY CRUD QUIRKER THERE IS LIKE ZERO CHANCE SOME OTHER WIERDO SAID THAT

Levana says mdeu. Levana say something real for once. 

submitted by Soren P., age 0.53, world-in-my-head, Fantasy
(May 20, 2018 - 10:18 am)

-Beatrix: "I LOVE Rick Riordan" Me: "in what way?" Bea: "SHUT UP!!!!!"

-"JERRY, I WANT A CUPPACINO!!!"(Jerry has been in SO many other skits since then...including being in  NASCAR, even though he needs glasses!)


-*to self* "Hooligan."

-*in horrible british accent* "'Ello, mate" *in better british accent* "Scots these days!"

-*in British accent* "THE KING IS DEAD, THE QUEEN IS IN SHACKLES! tea and crumpets?" 

-"I'm half cat!"(me) "i'm half chicken!" (Beatrix) "That could mean you chicken out of everything, you know that right?"(me again) "Shut. it."(Beatrix)

-Bea:"Nerd" Me:"Thank you!" 

submitted by Catsclaw, age 11, The Library
(February 17, 2018 - 9:19 pm)

"There you have it, your deformed dinosaur PB&J!"

"I have to deal with Lydia playing an extremely shrill recorder version of Hot Cross Buns every day. Just shoot me now" 

"What's brown and sticky? Steven's hair." 

"Hey, I'm not judging you, my sister is obsessed with warrior cat memes and eating butter, so..."

"i'm not running across that raging stampede of testosterone!"

"If you put another picture of Shrek on our powerpoint I swear I'll slap you" 

submitted by Bluebird
(February 18, 2018 - 10:40 am)

"Why is the trash talking!?" 

"Who put a bunny on thay slide?" 

"Ok, one, EWWWWWW, two, your disgusting."  

submitted by Secret
(July 27, 2018 - 6:01 am)

"Sorry, Harry, love conquers everything except middle-school dodgeball games."

"What does your butt have to do with how tall you are?"

"I didn't forget my jeans! I'm just really progressive for the Great Depression!"

"I'm late." "Hi, late, I'm Alex."

"Wait, so the dragon falls in love with Edward? Or is it with the universe?"

"Why am I supposed to know when you have dance lessons?" "You're supposed to know everything!"

"We're trying to rehearse this scene! Stop popping bubble wrap!"

"No, we're friends because she's my husband."

"Yeah, I took this hat off one of the suits of armor and I've been wearing it all afternoon."

"Why isn't there a left-handed writing emoji? It's leftie discrimination!"

"Then you'd have to break both arms to get out of doing homework."


If anyone wants context for these, just ask. 

submitted by Zeus, Idaho
(February 18, 2018 - 12:39 pm)

Yay, this thread is back!! I love reading these, they never fail to make me laugh. :) Here's a few from my friends.


"Can you wax your brows with a peel-off face mask?"

"I like my soda extra spicy."

"Gina, you forgetful little son of a businessman!"

"He always looks so good but so scary at the same time."

"I love you, Kaz. You represent me on an emotional level. Physical too. Every level. I'm literally speaking nonsense." 

"Sometimes I feel like Pinterest silently judges me. Like I'll look up something for a project that sounds really weird and then they will keep suggesting pictures in that category as if reminding me of my shame." 

"Stop laughing, your abs are going to explode!"

submitted by Abigail, age Old enough, Inside my head
(February 18, 2018 - 11:26 pm)
submitted by Aspen
(February 19, 2018 - 11:51 am)