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Funny Things my
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Funny Things my
Funny Things my Friends Have Said, which is either number five or six. I know Abi usually does this but I couldn't resist making another one, since they always make me laugh. Also, I've learned to write down funny things my friends & family say.
"You DON'T need to tell me where my FACE is."
"I cordiallly invite you to play Assassin's Creed tonight...no wait, scratch that, I'll eat toast."
"You should dye your hair light black!"
"I hit Inara!" "No, you hit the chair, and will you STOP THROWING THE CHICKEN!"
"My goat supply is secure!!"
"We're going to a Hunger Games tournament." "REALLY?" "No, it's just archery class." "Aww..."
"Does technology include Oreos? Just wondering."
"Kylo Ren is a shiny crab that SINGS."
-that time when my friend Sarah was describing her plan to become a hermit and live in a hut in the woods, (out of her exasperation with humanity) and our friend Maggie overheard the conversation, made an indignant expression, and said "Did you steal my plan?" and then said "Well, we'll just have to have a hermit rivalry, then."
"DEATH PICKLES."
"Guys! We need to go and set up lawn chairs in the mall and get into wizard robes and sit and Avada Kedavra everyone who walks by, and see how long we can go before the police show up and detain us."
"You read E-BOOKS??" "Yeah...?" "I OFFICIALLY HATE YOU."
"It was REALLY good, although I'm sure you could poke a dozen holes in the plot with a toothpick"
"I ended up pacing back and forth until like 1:00"
"Miraculous Ladybug Is The Only Repetitive Show I Like."
"I'm quite chuffed about how these characters have turned out."
submitted by Leafpool, age Finite, This side of reality
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
Gosh I LOVE this thread XD
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(salome=salami)
Friend: Woww it's a salome!!
Me: OMG a salome!!
Friend: I'm gonna eat it!!
Me: NO ITS MY SALOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Other friend: Yes she's very protective of her salome...
Other other friend: *walks in on the conversation* What the heck is a salome??
Me: *grabs the salome* SALAMI!!!!!! *runs away laughing evilly*
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Me: You're gonna fall in the bucket if you take your hands off...
Friend: *takes hands off* Ahah No I'm not *falls in the bucket*
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Me and my friend like to have conversations in very exaggerated Pidgin XD. (basically surfer slang)
Friend: Ho cuz, you like play soccer cuz?
Me: Ho ya cuz, I like play soccer, cuz.
Friend: Ho Ok cuz, Your goal gon be over there, cuz.
Me: Ho nicee cuz. Ok cuz, let's play, cuz.
~a few minutes later~
Friend: Ho cuz, you no can kick, cuz.
Me: Eh, cuz, you shut your trap, cuz.
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HEY YOU!! SHUT THE FFFFFFUront door...
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*two highschoolers walk past me having a conversation*
Highschooler: Holy %#$! *they look at me* take mushrooms are a fungus......
*both of them nod enthusiastically*
Me: Uuuuh huh. Yesss totally...
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Ummmm your hair is upside down...
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NOO GIVE BACK MY GRANDMA DREADLOCK WIG!!!!
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*brushes against my friend's jacket on accident*
Friend: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DONT TOUCH IT MY JACKET IS MY LIFEEEEEE!!!!
Me: *backs away slowly*
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(June 6, 2018 - 12:02 am)
"I've been eaten alive by bugs and popcorn."
"The flower of Doom, man." " Is that Fred's weapon?"
"Eliza gets extra points for not doing anything!"
"Izzy, can I have my shoes back?"
"Providence,R.I. It stands for Robert's Igloo."
"I bethuded you."
(June 8, 2018 - 11:30 am)
"I mean, it's hard to make less sense than me, considering I'm hitting your desk drawer with a lego" and "He got eaten up by a black hole, obviously. Because that definitely us a logical explanation."
(June 9, 2018 - 3:14 pm)
"I am so bad at drinking water."
(said with much fake enthusiasm) "Fake lemonade and a butter sandwich, that's what I call LUNCH."
(said in a very twangy, bouncy tone of voice) "Where'd you get the coco-nuts?"
(June 10, 2018 - 11:58 am)
"Is that paint?" ... "I love eating paint"
(June 10, 2018 - 3:54 pm)
"NO DON'T TOUCH HONEY!! She's very sensitive, and she has a ticklish spot on her tail, right where you were going to touch her."
"Stop it or I will personally dislocate your spine." "Is that even possible?" "If it wasn't then it is now."
"I know ALL of the pressure points. My favorite one can temporarily paralyze someone, as long as you hang on to it."
"It tastes like cardboard with raspberry sauce on it."
"GET A GRIP OR YOU WILL SLIP!! Oh hey, that rhymes..."
"DURP DURP DURP DURP I'M A FAT TURTLLLLLLLLE!!"
"Why are you always so loud?" "I DON'T KNOW I GUESS IT'S JUST MY SINGULAR PURPOSE IN LIFE!!"
(June 10, 2018 - 11:26 pm)
"I just called your future boyfriend a lout."
(June 11, 2018 - 8:50 am)
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAwow that was bad."
Levana says eerm. Erm...
(June 13, 2018 - 9:03 am)
"Do you want to survive through the night?" "That would be preferable, yeah." "Well then stop pressing Hei Hei's button."
(June 13, 2018 - 11:36 am)
Let me guess, you were playing Minecraft and someone had a Moana skin? (I play Minecraft too :))
(June 13, 2018 - 3:59 pm)
"King Herbert is so lame. He dabs unironically."
(June 14, 2018 - 7:11 am)
@Agent Winter no I do not play Minecraft, but I do play a variety of other games. There's this Hei Hei robot thing that is unfortunately in my house and if you press a button on his wing he screams and it is the MOST UNPLEASANT NOISE IN THE UNIVERSE. I am not kidding I almost broke his neck the first time he was used in the vicinity of my presence. I hate him vehemently. And before anyone asks, no, he does not come with a coconut.
(June 15, 2018 - 1:32 am)
"He doesn't look very smart. Shall we just... cook him?"
Hei hei: Roasted.
(June 29, 2018 - 5:25 pm)
"Can I get a mic pick two?" " I already told you I ate them all cuz I forgot eat yesterday!"
"Girl, you are loosing it!" "I never had it!"
"Dog, are you eating toenail clippings?'
(June 15, 2018 - 8:23 am)
My friend didn't say this, but it's a funny story
So my mom wanted to watch Incredibles 2 at the theater. We went to the theater, but the ticket guy said we were at the wrong mall. So we drove to the mall he said was right. There wasen't a movie theater there, so my mom checked her tickets and found out that she bought tickets for a mall 8 HOURS AWAY.
(June 24, 2018 - 8:05 am)