Places to Chat
Funny Things my
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Funny Things my
Funny Things my Friends Have Said, which is either number five or six. I know Abi usually does this but I couldn't resist making another one, since they always make me laugh. Also, I've learned to write down funny things my friends & family say.
"You DON'T need to tell me where my FACE is."
"I cordiallly invite you to play Assassin's Creed tonight...no wait, scratch that, I'll eat toast."
"You should dye your hair light black!"
"I hit Inara!" "No, you hit the chair, and will you STOP THROWING THE CHICKEN!"
"My goat supply is secure!!"
"We're going to a Hunger Games tournament." "REALLY?" "No, it's just archery class." "Aww..."
"Does technology include Oreos? Just wondering."
"Kylo Ren is a shiny crab that SINGS."
-that time when my friend Sarah was describing her plan to become a hermit and live in a hut in the woods, (out of her exasperation with humanity) and our friend Maggie overheard the conversation, made an indignant expression, and said "Did you steal my plan?" and then said "Well, we'll just have to have a hermit rivalry, then."
"DEATH PICKLES."
"Guys! We need to go and set up lawn chairs in the mall and get into wizard robes and sit and Avada Kedavra everyone who walks by, and see how long we can go before the police show up and detain us."
"You read E-BOOKS??" "Yeah...?" "I OFFICIALLY HATE YOU."
"It was REALLY good, although I'm sure you could poke a dozen holes in the plot with a toothpick"
"I ended up pacing back and forth until like 1:00"
"Miraculous Ladybug Is The Only Repetitive Show I Like."
"I'm quite chuffed about how these characters have turned out."
submitted by Leafpool, age Finite, This side of reality
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
Okay, so I really like riddles and somebody told me this stupid one:
Person: "Which book do teenagers and millenials like best?"
Me: "A hundred and one ways to make avocado toast."
XP XP XP
P.S. The actual answer was Facebook.
(July 31, 2018 - 11:18 pm)
“The fish was pregnant”
“Succulents don’t judge.”
“I love squares. Squares are pretty.”
”J’ADORE la banque... parce que j’adore les argents!” (I love the bank because I love money)
”I have a really important question.” “What?” “Did Isaac marry Rebecca or Leah? Or both?” “It’s literally two in the morning shut up.”
“HOLY TECHNICOLORED COAT”
(August 1, 2018 - 2:09 am)
"Which one would look better bald?" "WHAT!?"
"How many sunflowers would a sunflower sun if a sun flower could... wait."
"My cake looks terrible." "Well, sure! You didn't do a crumb coat." "A CRUMB COAT? Who do you think I am, Martha Stewart?"
(August 1, 2018 - 6:47 pm)
"Get ready, I'm gonna SWEAT"
"I'm a big girl, I don't eat squirrel"
"C'mon, bread!"
"West Virginia smells like burning trash."
"UMPHLET"
"Josie has opening issues?"
"Who threw a pie out the window?"
(August 2, 2018 - 7:59 am)
"I never knew Carth Onasi tasted so good." "Would you rather eat his face or his hair?" "I'm eating his EAR"
These were all said while eating a disturbing birthday cake with a picture of Carth Onasi from Knights of the Old Republic on it XD
(August 2, 2018 - 6:49 pm)
"Yeah, I might want to see that movie... what is wrong with your shoe??" "Everything's wrong with my shoe!!"
"I have to die before I die, Gavin, come on!"
"Hello, I am Sherman the Long Live and Prosper sign."
"Wow, that picture makes me look like I'm actually cool!"
(August 2, 2018 - 8:27 pm)
Shoes are overrated.
(August 2, 2018 - 11:05 pm)
"CAPTAIN KRISTIF KRUSTY! Then I shut the door and open it again. CAPTAIN KRISTIF CRUSTY! WE MEET AGAIN!"
"I want to play Can't Touch This on my Sax"
"Okay. MM-BUT NOOOOO!"
"HI WHAT ARE Y'ALL TALKING ABOUT?!!"
~
"Form a triangle behind me."
"Okay, but you're going to be the first one to get run over by a car."
~
"Bang the Shut-Up gong!"
(August 3, 2018 - 3:04 pm)
"I win D&D. The End."
(August 5, 2018 - 7:18 am)
How did this just happen: "my sister cries sparkles."
(August 5, 2018 - 7:02 pm)
”Chuck Norris was the one who made the Muppets, right?”
xD that was my sister
(August 7, 2018 - 11:35 am)
"Have you ever wondered about what would happen if somebody invented a Pokemon in real life?" "The world would be so much better..." *Shrugs* "Yeah that was pretty much what I was thinking too."
"SPREAD LOVE UNDERSTANDING POSITIVITYYYY" "What have you gone mad the world doesn't react well to those things anymore!" Note: The first person was singing What Do I Know by Ed Sheeran.
"I'm gonna go to the store does anybody need anything?" "Your face." "No seriously, do you need anything?" "A hug." "How about a dog cuddle?" "That would be the best." *Scoops dog up into arms* *Hugs said dog* *Dog is just sitting there like "You are my person forever."*
"FERRET FERRET FERRET STOAT FERRET WEASEL FERRET FERRET FERRET okay I'm done now." "Hallelujah."
(August 8, 2018 - 12:33 am)
"I'm totally fine, aside from the fact that I'm dead."
*Having an intense Marvel discussion, debating Wolverine vs. Captain America* "oh yeah? Does Captain America have instant healing powers?" "... I wholeheartedly despise you."
"Okay, does anybody need anything?" "DOUGHNUTS!" "You aren't getting doughnuts..." *Other person comes back a few minutes later* "did you get us doughnuts?" "Oh. I didn't hear that." "But you wouldn't have gotten doughnuts anyways, right??" "..."
"We can't leave! We're playing The Voice!"
"I kinda want a deer to jump on this car too."
"Wait, so Bucky's still bad? What'shappeningwhyishedoingthat?" "Yes he's still bad, now STIP ASKING QUESTIONS!"
(August 8, 2018 - 10:45 am)
Friend: "SPAGETTIIIIIIIIIIII"
Me: "wait how do you have spagetti? We're campin-"
Friend: *pulls raw spagetti out of sleeve and eats it*
Me: ...
Me: ......
Me: Can I have some?
Friend: SURE!!!!! *hands spagetti noodles and we munch on them together*
~~~
OH GOD WHERE DID KELLIAS GO
WHO DRESSED THE HIGH LORD IN WHITE DURING A BLIZZARD?
KELLIAS COME OUT PLEEEEEEEEASE
*muffled* neverrrrrrr
~~~
Me: "And then I stood on spiderman's face"
Ty: "what the hell did you eat last night?!?"
Me: Sugar
Ty: Plain sugar?
Me: yes
Me: In ice cream
~~~
Me: Merciful scout is cute but Not alone is my soul
~~~
Hallie: Are they all friendly?
Ty: yes they are all friendly
~~~
Lily: Do you know who manspider is?
~~~
Ty: I got it on my legs
Ty: and my face
Ty: and neck
Ty: and arms
Ty: and hands
~~~
Chiara: *picture of the sun* This is outside my window and it burns
~~~
Ty: So much yessing
Me: YASSSSSS
~~~
Chiara: I have thing
~~~
Me: *to ashita* MOMMMMMM
Ashita: Did you just call me mom?
Me: .... Yes?
Ashita: Sooooo am I duck mom now?
Me: YEEEEES
~~~
Ashita: YOU GOT CONTACTS
Ashita: WHY
Ashita: YOU'VE BETRAYED THE GLASSES CULT
Ashita: TRAITOR
~~~
Me: I'll bet you ten bucks I can fit in one of those lockers
~~~
Lily: her nose is sunburnt
~~~
Stephanie: And its bootyful duck
~~~
Ashita: I BROKE PHYSICS
~~~
Ashita: Baggage drop in 20 minutes
~~~
Me: *drops backpack on desk* *my backpack makes the sound of a bomb exploding*
Random classmate #1: GET DOWN
Random classmate #2: What is even in there?
Me: *opens bag and like 20 books with at least 400 pages each spill out* Oh, the usual.
~~~
Ty: SHUT UP BEFORE I STAB YOU
~~~
Chiara: It raining
Me: It sunny
~~~
Ashita: They're just gonna kill us one day
~~~
Stephanie: KILL IT WITH FIRE
~~~
Stephanie: kill them with flamethrower
~~~
Stephanie: Sujjestion; KILL IT WITH FIRE
~~~
Ashita: SHE BLINKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
~~~
Chiara: kill it I hate those
~~~
Ashita: JAPAN NO
~~~
Me: *to ty* STOP DOING THE MONA LISA FACE
Ty: I CANT
~~~
Corinne: I AM A MOOSE
~~~
Me: *to self* bagelbagelbagel
Ty: what?
Me: BAGELBAGELBAGEL
Ty: uhhh
Me: BASGEL
~~~
Ty: *to me* Stop stabbing me
~~~
Me: *Reads fortune cookie* If you have to choose between two evils do the one you have never done.
Ty: oh no
Me: *demonic grin* To stab my father's hand with a fork or to lick ty's face
Ty: STAB DAD"S HAND
Me: I stabbed dad's hand when I was little remember?
Ty: *running already*
~~~
~BOUNUS, Something that just hapened~~~
Ty: *To me*I just heard your music, whos screaming
Me: I am
~~~
imma go eat my bagel now bye
(August 8, 2018 - 2:04 pm)
Language, Darkking.
"Nobody is judging you except for literally everybody."
(August 8, 2018 - 4:32 pm)