Short Story Contest

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Short Story Contest

Short Story Contest

The prize is making the MC in my next big writing project.

Rules:

Must be less than 200 words.

Must have some character developement

Must be sci-fi

What I will be judging:

Character development

Twist(s)

Is it Sci-Fi?

Length. I would like a very, very short story to win. 

 

submitted by Gared
(December 26, 2016 - 8:08 pm)

Cool!

submitted by Gared
(December 29, 2016 - 12:04 pm)
The gentle scene- soft atmospheric music, the blue green pond- was too calm. Lith's nerves tingled as she walked silently along the path. Her fingers twitched, itching to hack into the programming of the pleasure garden. The gentle music was useless to Lith- she'd installed modifications to her shoes that silenced any pesky clicking- and they left her unable to hear anyone coming. But abruptly removing the music would let them know where she was- and Lith COULDN'T be captured. They would try to remove her from the stimulation, and in doing so realize the truth. She was a program posing as a user- and if they figured that out, they would surely deconstruct her. 
Lith's finely tuned scents caught the gentlest click of shoe, and she was gone, racing silently through the pleasure garden towards a short cut she'd installed. All that was left was the blue green pond, a breeze gently stirring some of the waterlilies. 
submitted by Indigo, 158 words
(December 29, 2016 - 11:55 am)

Intersting idea.

submitted by Gared
(December 29, 2016 - 12:11 pm)

Remember!

submitted by Three Hours Left!
(December 29, 2016 - 12:09 pm)

117 words of nonsense. I feel like cringing.

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I was told to jump. Jump. I don’t want to. Face whatever is
down there. No. The thing still told me to… jump. I refuse. Except… I am
falling already. I don’t want to. No. I am. No. NO. NO!! The water feels like a
slab of cement. My muscles ache. My ribs feel broken. But I have to swim.
Continue. Continuing feels like swimming in Jell-O. I hate Jell-O.  Whatever I did is done. Gone. A voice pulls me
up. Icy water begins to evaporate. Evaporate. I am freezing. Ice coats my
joints. Air feels like a knife. I have to close my eyes.

The lady standing outside the cell smiles. Another person
for her collection.  

 

submitted by Pepper Star
(December 29, 2016 - 12:24 pm)

Don't feel embarassed. It is kind of brilliant in a way.

submitted by Gared
(December 29, 2016 - 12:28 pm)

Letting myself explore a world I've been thinking about for a while. It's 177 words. I know you said you were partial to shorter stories. However, I have tried to make it so that the words are necessary to either plot, characterization, or suspense/build, which is something people tend to disregard with shorter stories, but which I think is still important.

Anywho, it's not perfect, but I definitely had fun with it. And do you think you could offer some critique/comments? Thanks. 

**********

“No matter where you hide, we are always there.”

The Emperor’s unsettling words echoed through her mind as she sprinted towards the exit, her partner running alongside her. An empty threat? No time to wonder. She fired wildly at the bots, which exploded into sparks and metal. 

Her fellow escapee prepared to throw.

“No! It’s out last one!” she shrieked. The solar grenade flew, the ground warping as it drew power from its source…

And obliterated every last assailant. 

She took a moment to study him. The familiar violet eyes and reckless smile she knew better than her own were a comfort in this unfamiliar nightmare. 

“Thank Zyon I have you on my side.” She cracked a reckless smile of her own.

His expression changed. “That’s what you think,” he whispered, pointing his flame-ray at her.

She tried to scream, but now she was burning, fire slowly consuming her from inside. She collapsed, a wisp of blue smoke escaping her lips. 

The last thing she saw was the Jemstone, gleaming cruelly at her from his traitorous hand. 

submitted by Owlgirl, age 13
(December 29, 2016 - 1:24 pm)

The way you introduce the fellow escapee is confusing, and it would be much better if our main character is overrun, and then he runs out of nowere and frees her, and then betrays her, rather than him being there all along. I think that would add more action, and make the character a little less passive.

submitted by Gared
(December 29, 2016 - 2:51 pm)

Hmm. That does seem like it would add to it. Thanks.

submitted by Owlgirl
(December 29, 2016 - 4:37 pm)

Not sure mine posted...

********* 

“No matter where you hide, we are always there.”

 

The Emperor’s unsettling words echoed through her mind as
she sprinted towards the exit, her partner running alongside her. An
empty threat? 
No time to wonder. She fired wildly at the bots, which
exploded into sparks and metal. 

Her fellow escapee prepared to throw.

“No! It’s our last one!” she shrieked. The solar grenade
flew, the ground warping as it drew power from its source…

And obliterated every last assailant. 

She took a moment to study him. The familiar violet eyes and
reckless smile she knew better than her own were a comfort in this unfamiliar
nightmare. 

“Thank Zyon I have you on my side.” She cracked a reckless
smile of her own.

His expression changed. “That’s what you think,” he
whispered, pointing his flame-ray at her.

She tried to scream, but now she was burning, fire slowly
consuming her from inside. She collapsed, a wisp of blue smoke escaping her
lips. 

 

The last thing she saw was the Jemstone, gleaming cruelly at
her from his traitorous hand.  

submitted by Owlgirl
(December 29, 2016 - 1:25 pm)

Amazing.

submitted by Gared
(December 29, 2016 - 1:39 pm)
submitted by Any more Entries?
(December 29, 2016 - 2:14 pm)

If you miss this round, I will run a second round, and the prize will be either

(a) Drawing the concept illistrations for the story

(b) Helping me write the setting of the story

I will need all entries for the second round in by 1:00 Pacific Time on Saturday.

Again, this round will be, mainly, if you forgot or are not quite finished. 

-Gared 

submitted by 1.5 Hours Left, Turn 'em In!
(December 29, 2016 - 2:40 pm)

The top stories are: 

Oliver Patrick's edged towards his starship as shouts of anguish echoed around him. He new there was one thing he had to do. His father's last words before he tried to make contact with the planet Earth and disappeared, were echoing in his head, now mingled with the frantic cries for help. “Oliver, my son,” he had said, "remember me.'

As Oliver's starship rocketed towards the planet, he muttered the words under his breath. He new what he had to do, find the Amulet no matter what. It he'd been stolen by humans years ago. Even Oliver didn't know the full extent of the Amulet's powers, all he new was that it protected his home planet and that was enough for him. Oliver landed his ship and took a deep breath before opening the hatch. Outside was the armies of humans shouting in a strange language readying their weapons. Oliver walked down the ramp slowly. "I come in peace." He said but he knew they couldn't understand him. Suddenly, out of the crowd of curious humans, stepped a tall burly figure. This was no human. This was his father.

submitted by BookBug, age 9, Australia

 

 

The woman blasted a Vere-Jobu intent on sucking her blood into a wall, then turned to smile sweetly at the man fighting next to her.

“That’s a baker’s dozen. You?” The man fired a laser at a Vere-Jobu about to overwhelm his partner.

“Fourteen. Watch your back.” They pushed their way forward, shooting anything that moved.

“They said I was crazy to come with you.” She laughed.

“You are crazy.” He punched an access code into a keypad, and ran into the next room. She hurried to the central control panel, while he watched the entry.

“You know what’s about to happen?” She was trying furiously to pull down the shield.

“I wish you hadn’t come.” He shot another Vere-Jobu, as she punched the final code.

“Shield disabled. Solar breach imminent. Lockdown initiated.”A voice boomed out over the speakers, and the door swooshed shut.

“We saved humanity. I thought it would feel more epic.” The woman walked away from the panel, and collapsed next to the man, who sported several bite marks.

“I’m so sorry it had to be this way.” She reached out for his hand, then the station blew up.  

submitted by Mirax T. , age 12, The Errant Venture

The gentle scene- soft atmospheric music, the blue green pond- was too calm. Lith's nerves tingled as she walked silently along the path. Her fingers twitched, itching to hack into the programming of the pleasure garden. The gentle music was useless to Lith- she'd installed modifications to her shoes that silenced any pesky clicking- and they left her unable to hear anyone coming. But abruptly removing the music would let them know where she was- and Lith COULDN'T be captured. They would try to remove her from the stimulation, and in doing so realize the truth. She was a program posing as a user- and if they figured that out, they would surely deconstruct her.

Lith's finely tuned scents caught the gentlest click of shoe, and she was gone, racing silently through the pleasure garden towards a shortcut she'd installed. All that was left was the blue green pond, a breeze gently stirring some of the waterlilies.

submitted by Indigo, 158 words

“No matter where you hide, we are always there.”

The Emperor’s unsettling words echoed through her mind as she sprinted towards the exit, her partner running alongside her. An empty threat? No time to wonder. She fired wildly at the bots, which exploded into sparks and metal.

Her fellow escapee prepared to throw.

“No! It’s our last one!” she shrieked. The solar grenade flew, the ground warping as it drew power from its source…

And obliterated every last assailant.

She took a moment to study him. The familiar violet eyes and reckless smile she knew better than her own were a comfort in this unfamiliar nightmare.

“Thank Zyon I have you on my side.” She cracked a reckless smile of her own.

His expression changed. “That’s what you think,” he whispered, pointing his flame-ray at her.

She tried to scream, but now she was burning, fire slowly consuming her from inside. She collapsed, a wisp of blue smoke escaping her lips.

The last thing she saw was the Jemstone, gleaming cruelly at her from his traitorous hand.

submitted by Owlgirl, age 13

The Winner will be announced tommorow morning.
Also, these stories have been slightly corrected: the spelling has been fixed, and the formatting has been edited. Please see these people's original works for the uncorrected version. 

submitted by Gared
(December 29, 2016 - 4:50 pm)

Thanks for having a second round Gared. I interpreted the Friday deadline as anything before Friday would get in and then I was out all day today, so yeah... Anyways, here's my story:

***

Smoke hissed from hidden seams as it struggled against the mag-lock and Bri regretted replacing the creature's dead battery. She ignored her mask's scrolling diagnostics and paced around the creature. Bear-shaped, short synthetic fur, metal “muscles” in all the right places. It looked like the zoo's high-end animatronics, but it had been found in the archives, of all places. No-one had claimed it, so whatever the creature was it would soon be nothing more than valuable parts. Parts for money, money for food, food to feed little Quin. Her curiosity would just have to ignore this mystery. She pulled a cutter from her belt. It went limp, red eyes glaring at her.

And then it spoke. “You don't want to do that.”

Bri hesitated, then frowned. “You shouldn't be able to talk.”

It seemed to smile. “Even you know that's a stupid statement.”

“Alright... Why shouldn't I dismantle you? The parts'll earn me maybe 80 niks, and you're just an anim, probably repurposed and programmed by some smart aleck.”

“Because I'm not just any old 'nim.” It opened its mouth and released a spurt of smoke into Bri's face, making her cough. It was definitely smiling. “I'm a sentient.”

***

199 words, a bit more like a short scene or a story-starter than a story, but I don't think it's too bad. Constructive criticism welcome.

submitted by Pied Piper, nowhere near here
(December 29, 2016 - 10:13 pm)