I am shocked that I wrote this. I mean, WHAT IS THIS?!?!

You desire me,

I don’t feel the same

You give me things of pink,

But, dear, You know I only see the blue

You are my sunshine, you know,

But I live for rain

And I hate to break your heart,

But, I-I...

I don’t like you.

I’m sorry

I’ve made up my mind. You aren’t for me.

Maybe in another life,

Where you take my breath away,

But right now, we are not meant to be.

Not yet.

Not just yet.

Later, we might

But now we are too young to tell...

Too young to say those words…

Those words that can

Plague or heal

That can break or form…

“I love you”.

Not yet.

Later, dear.

Because… well… you aren’t mine.

You aren’t… like me… 

When those words mean something

More than just… 

Words… 

We may do it again.

But not now.

Not yet.

Later, dear, later.

Later.

It's so cold...

Take a deep breath

with those shard-shredded lungs 

Full of jagged crystals

Even as you shiver in the blinding night gales

Don't let your cracked heart stop pumping

Through the broken glass known as 'snow'

Don't let those shattered star-filled eyes close forever

For there's still hope.

Yes, somewhere there's still hope.

Someday the sun'll rise again

And thaw your frozen limbs

And set you free at last. 

But for the time being,

all you can do

is hope. 

As the blue pheonix sings

Her tear-tainted song,

I can't help but also

be whisked right along;

To a world of painted skies

And bustling cities full of light,

Gazing over the towering rooftops

And drinking in the beauty of the night;

To all those moments we all spent

Laughing and loving and travelling-- all together,

Of celebrations and mysteries and adventures

and quests, when times were still much better

Back to the days

when are worries were still small,

When we'd all meet up and have some fun

At so much as a simple call.

Indeed, nostalgia tugs at my senses,

Trying to coax me back to the past,

Before the world got so much bigger

And sped up far too fast;

To a time when our entire group

Still breathed the same air-- or breathed at all,

Before the rest turned their separate ways, 

No longer bothering to even call.

warning: poetry dump ahead. Also, apology: it's annoying that I'm anonymous, I'm sure. sorry. But. like my pseudonym suggests... I am an insecure poet. I'm scared of sharing my work on this thread (weirdly, I don't have an issue with posting poetry on the poetry contest. So I usually enter). Anyways, I keep chickening out of posting on here, so I figured posting anonymously would make me feel a little less worried about what people will think, since if my poetry is really bad and cringey no one will know it's me? I know that's faulty logic. Sorry. But anyways, I am currently not feeling brave enough to post poetry under my actual CB name. Maybe next time I'll reveal myself.

Moving on, I wrote both of these poems while trying to write one that actually fit the theme, crackling. Apparently my creativity isn't feeling very crackly, though, because while I like both of these poems, neither fit the theme. It's okay, though, I like writing poetry anyways. But here they are, I'd appreciate feedback and/or critique, just phrase it politely if you please :)

~~

A candle flame has three parts

the black wick, which feeds the fire

the purple center, burning hottest and

the yellow-white outside, delicately glowing.

A candle flame is dangerous,

enough to start a fire. But 

it also is the light in the dark

it's hope and destruction

dancing around each other like the candle's flame

dances in the dark.

A candle burns silent and long

lighting up the dark for someone else until there is nothing left in it to burn

a candle gives its all and it needs someone else to tell it to stop

it needs someone to snuff it out before 

it destroys itself with lighting the way for everyone else.

You are my candle and your wick is burning low

but you are still glowing steadily

delicately

and your purple center is still vibrant and hot

If I snuff you out now

we are both plunged into darkness.

Maybe I will have to be your candle and I

am I strong enough to do that? 

But if I let you burn out

what kind of friend am I? 

You are my candle and your wick is burning low

and no friend I'd be if I let you burn out.

Sometimes you have to take a risk for the people you love and

I think I'm willing to do that

just this once

for you. 

~~

Your eyes have flames in them

an eternal fire

eternally burning.

Mine are like the sea

an eternal storm

eternally raging.

Like the ocean and the fire,

one of us could never win until the other disappeared

completely.

Like the ocean and the fire,

we coexist. Usually peacefully but like all the elements we

are volatile and we

sometimes fight but

we always work it out.

Like the ocean,

my anger is smothering, bitingly cold and like the flames

yours is sharp, painfully hot.

Touch a flame and burn

Get caught by the storm and drown.

My eyes are like the sea

an eternal storm

eternally raging

Yours are full of flames

an eternal fire

eternally burning.

Take a deep breath in

Wait for the world to stop

But Love, it doesn't stop,

No, Love, it doesn't stop;

Feel the dizzying crash

of sickening nausea wash over  

In waves of hot and cold

Though there's nothing wrong at all;

What's going on, what's going on...

Deep breath in, not too fast,

Let it out, feel it rush, like wind, past

But Darling, don't you wonder why

Your world hasn't stopped spinning yet?

Heartbeats jack up, way too fast, gotta slow down

But why, oh, why don't those breathing exercises work anymore?

Why are hot tears running down in streaks?

Why do you feel yourself shaking?

Why is all of this happening?

Danger

Danger

Dangerous;

Blink your eyes,

Something snaps, shatters;

It's still dark out and there's a while left 'till morning. 

Happiness

Like the brightest yellow

Or purest blue

It fills you up

And warms you better

Than any fire

Could ever do 

It is hard to catch

But when you do

It will stay with you

Something's breaking

I can feel it cracking,

as though every time it's thought of

it fractures just a little

bit

more.

I'd like to start this post by saying thank you, Snazzycakes. I needed that. Honestly, I think that I somehow sucked myself into a vortex of "EVEYRONE'S POETRY IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN MINE AHHHH". But I think you're also right- I knew the things you said were true, I just needed a little reminding.

Also, I think the fact that I've now posted on this thread-- Me! on the regular poetry thread! *insert starry eyed emoji here*-- even if it was anonymously, is making me brave enough to do it with my real identity :) So thanks, Snazzy. I really needed that.

Anyways, another poem:

~~

Check yes or no

if you like me or don't

But how can I choose, love?

You're my friend

even if you don't know it

because I'm too chicken to tell you

and you mean so much

so much to me.

And how can I choose, love,

if I am insisting to myself that I don't

when my heart is telling me the exact opposite?

How can I choose, love,

when I don't want to break your heart

because I can't

without breaking mine

but I simply don't know?

Love, I don't think you understand

you ask me to choose but you left no option for

I wish I didn't

or I wish I did

or even oh love, I don't know 

My head and my heart are conflicted

and you don't know how hard this is for me, love

you know it wouldn't change anything

except you'd be awkward and so would I

if I checked yes.

But you said "I want to know if I should just

give up,"

and the silent words that follow are

"on you" 

and love,

I already broke two hearts this year

one was mine and the other was given

and I can't do that again.

But I can't live my life pretending.

Love, if we were made for each other this 

doesn't matter.

I checked no.