Ok, I just really need to get this all off my chest. 

I sorta kinda hate my life. I'm really quiet all the time in school because honestly I don't know what to say. Everybody knows what to say all the time except me. So all I do is sit there and smile instead of talking.

And I guess it kinda works. I'm not cool or anything but people are nice to me and like me. But I keep thinking about how I'm more than just the super quiet kid. But I'm afraid that if I change and express the real me more people won't like me. And also I can never get the courage to say anything. Does anyone have any advice for shy people? 

And then there's my life. Everyone at my school wants to grow up as fast as they can. And everyone's already dating and everything. But I don't want to grow up, I don't want things to change. I've been starting wondering what life is all about anyway and honestly I'm scared. I'm scared of my future. I don't want things to be different, I don't want to even live this life sometimes.

So yeah I'm depressed. But no one at school would ever understand that, not even my best friends. I've got good grades, friends, and people like me. But still I'm depressed and I don't even know why.

And there's this girl at school, my former friend, who's basically blaming me for every problem in her life. And it's because when we were friends there was a lot of drama. Well if you can call it drama. Really she and her friend were leaving me out and making me feel miserable and I tried to stop it and boom I've caused drama and ruined her life apparently. And she's making other people believe it too. And she won't even talk to me about it. I know she's talking about me and mocking me behind my back too. Even though I didn't do anything.

Ok, that's all. Wow that was really long. Kudos to you if you read all that. I'm gonna go mope in bed.  

This isn't a rant more than a help me please I need advice.

so there's this guys in my grade whom I don't "like" but I would like to get to know more. He isn't in any of my classes and he always hangs out with a massive group of guys, and it would be weird to walk up to them and start talking. Sometimes he plays football at lunch break but he's kind of stopped doing that and I sort of used to play too. What should I do? We hardly even know each other I don't even know why I want to know them so much. 

This isn't like... a big or important thing, I guess, but we have this class at school called Life Skills where we basically have "counsel" and talk about our feelings and debate about social issues and play improv games and stuff. It can either be really fun or really suck depending on your teacher and class, and this year I luckily really like both.

Anyway, today during class we were talking about mental health and supporting others and it had gotten pretty real. And this girl J had a turn and she said,

"You know when you don't want to tell your parents things, sometimes? And not because they're bad parents, but because they're good parents." 

And oh, gosh, I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I just... I don't... Ah. That hit me hard. I guess I didn't think about it like that until she said it. It's like, you don't want them to think that any of it is their fault. And... wow. Man. I'm still kind of shaken from that.

Leo, Claaws, and Twirlgirl, I just wanted to say that I read all three of your rants and I totally feel for you. All of you.

Someone, I'm sorry, but I don't have any advice for you...

And the person whose name I can't remember who posted about not wanting to tell your parents things... yes that happens to me all the time! I thought I was the only one... 

I have something about the CB, which isn't really a rant, just an opinion I have. Feel free to disagree, and post about why.

I don't really like the threads that are just "@ one person" where it's two people "chatting" their AEs, or about an idea they had. I get that people might not have access to other ways of one-on-one online chatting, but I think it goes against the nature of the Chatterbox as a community chat thing, because it's just two people talking semi-privately. I imagine that they're pretty fun for the people who are part of them, but for everyone else, it's just a thread we can't go on. I think the CB is maybe less about those individual relationships and more a place where everyone can chat at once. 

You make a very good point, AppleJ. I do think, however, that some of the use of @ may just to get the attention of a specific person with either a question for the person or a comment on something the person said. I don't think they're all meant to excule others. As you say, that would be against the policy of Chatterbox.

Admin

Ok... erm... hello. I’ve never actually used this thread, and this isn’t really that important, but today was not that good so here goes.

My first class of the day was chemistry and three bad things happened: My teacher told the class that we had all done badly on our labs and that she would be grading them very harshly. We haven’t gotten the grades for them back yet but I’ve seen just how harshly she can grade things, and it isn’t going to be good. The second thing is that we got out tests back. I good a good score but while I was pointing something out to her trying to get a point back she decided to take off a point instead, which I guess just really surprised me because no other teacher would take off points after they had given their test back, especially when it was their grading mistake. That totally backfired. And the third thing was that I had read the homework assignment wrong and it turned out there was a whole other section that I had to do, so now my homework grade will be going down as well. Fun times.

All of the language classes at my school offer the chance to go to a poetry recitation contest each year where you memorize and recite a poem in the language that you are learning in class. In order to go you have to get chosen by your teacher and recite it the best out of your class, and then do it the best of the other representatives of the classes of the same level. Last year I went to the contest for Spanish 2 and placed 4th, and it was really fun. Most people in my class are not that good at Spanish so I was fully expecting to go again this year and try to place higher than I did last year. We did the poems in class and got our grades back, but it turned out that my friend had gotten a few points higher than I did and that she is the one who will be going. I’m happy for her and I’m glad that she’ll be going, but that doesn’t stop be from being angry about it and disappointed. And I also hate that I’m thinking about that because it seems so petty and unfair to her. I haven’t told her this because it’s not her problem and I just want her to go and have fun and do a good job, but I hate that I can’t stand to have anyone do better than me. I know full well that that’s a stupid complex to have, but it’s the truth.

Anyways, that turned out to be longer than I thought and there are still several other things on my mind - like taking full IB classes next year as a junior, which is like AP but even worse and I’m already stressed -  but I have too much homework to do and have kind of lost focus. Adios.