I get that. I really get that. Almost all of that. I also had never heard most of this from you before.

You know, I think it’s okay to re-rant. To lay it all out from start to finish again. There might be something different the second time around. Even if not, still having to rant obviously means the previous advice didn’t work, so it’s nice to reconsider all aspects and give it another go. 

For this, I happen to be luckily well-prepared at the moment. I have a couple of friends online and in real life, and lately I’ve been thinking about what friendship is and how it starts and goes. I think it starts with regular interactions. That’s it, the fundamental piece of any relationship: consistent contact, or keeping in touch later on. You just talk to the people, acknowledge their presence when you see them, and keep doing that for a while. Your conversations might not get longer, but your options within them will increase. At some point you get to know the major things that go on in each others’ lives. Family, school, hobbies, friends, whatever is on their mind a lot. You keep talking about those things, maybe get each others’ phone numbers and have more little conversations. You probably start going places together. It’s probably around this time that you start calling them a friend.

A lot of developing a friendship is just going wherever the moment takes you and getting to know one another better. A lot of it is just seeing each other and/or talking often. It’s surprisingly easy, which might be why it’s so elusive—it’s subtle. There’s probably nothing more to it than getting along well with someone, enjoying their company, simply having a better time when you’re with them. And by “it” I mean the thing that makes people friends rather than friendly acquaintances. This is why people call each other up on the weekends to see if they’re doing anything; they want to spend time with the people they’re calling. 

Now, as to texting: You don’t need to be good at conversation. You don’t need to perform. It’s just another way to talk to people. And don’t worry about using xD, either. If the other person makes fun of you for it, you probably don’t want to be friends with them. You are you. Do whatever. Don’t overthink it, and if they don’t like it, you can find a way to work with that or you can not be friends with them. Or look for a third option. It’s scary, which is reasonable—it may force you to face situations you’ve never dealt with or even thought about before. But that’s okay. Reacting to those situations is how you grow as a person. Which is another thing a lot of friends seem to do—they help each other grow.

For GSA: I don’t have as much to offer for this one. Try not to be afraid. Try to laugh. Try to make the people you want to like you laugh. Talk to them a little to figure out what makes them laugh. Show them videos of goats screaming like people if you’re not sure, that usually works. Or cats being entertaining. Don’t worry too much about inconveniencing people; at worst, they’ll be inconvenienced and oh no, you’ll just have to make it up to them, which means oh no, you’ll have to interact with them again (one of the fundamental components of building a relationship, remember), can you imagine the horror. Don’t answer that. It’s probably a setup for an anime. Wait, it is a setup for an anime. Has anyone heard of Ouran High School Host Club? I’m sure some of you have. It’s that. It’s exactly that.

Example thing to say in the scenario in which you mess up: “Oh no, I’m sorry! My bad. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

I need to find someone to test all this on. Maybe I should go out for walks in my town instead of in the woods more. 

I also understand with C. I’ve been in a similar situation, although my friend and I have drifted apart. 

For some of the rest of this... maybe talk to your brother. Tell him it’s something that’s been bothering you and it might be stupid but you wanted to talk with him about it. I think parts of it concern him, no? Maybe add that. And be prepared to listen to him. He might have something to say, too, some serious rant you didn’t expect. Also be ready for if he doesn’t, of course. Let him ask questions, do whatever. And tell me how it goes. I don’t know your brother very well, but it seems like he’s a decent person to go to if your parents aren’t prepared and your Internet friends aren’t effective. Especially if he really does have good social skills, yeah?

Hope this helps! And thank you, I think I was ready to lay those ideas out and just needed somewhere to put it.  

<3

You can always rant about it, if it's something that still impacts you then please, keep ranting? I know after you get advice, it's kinda hard to keep talking, but upsetness mostly doesn't really go away with advice. I think it's more continued interaction and validation that helps? 

Although I don't really know how to actively make friends, I think it works better if you don't. It comes more naturally, even being shy and awkward. Friendships can happen slowly, building over time through repeated tiny interactions until you suddenly realize that you are friends. If you surround yourself with more extraverted people, then they will tend to start the conversation and can help keep it going (I should know this is basically my entire strategy and why I have any friends). Most people also don't notice how self conscious and nervous other people are either. Also, it might be awkward to talk to your brother about social stuff, but going to your parents could help with support. Maybe they can't give advice or do anything, but they can offer hugs and emotional support for when online friends don't cut it.

I hope you don't feel self consious with texting lingo on AWM! I also used to use XD more, but stopped for 'haha' instead because nobody else was using XD. Maybe I'll start using it again.

Since the therapist wants to keep seeing your brother, it could be possible he thinks your brother does have some deeper problems you aren't aware of? I knew some perfectly confident and socially adept people that later revealed they were incredibly self conscious and felt constantly awkward. 

Ohhhhh my gosh. I know St. Owl, in fact no one other than the admin, is ever going to see this- but I feel like saying it anyway. This is me. Except for a couple things, this is basically my life story, it's crazy. I was actually just thinking about this, about how in the world in 3 years of middle school I didn't make a single close friend?! I was just used to the friends being already there, so when they weren't I didn't realize I was supposed to put any effort into friendships, plus I was terrified that if I  did I would be bothering people, or "clingy". And also the whole converstation thing is exactly how I feel!!! Idk, it made me happy that someone had such similar experiences.

I really, really want a friend.

Oh, wonderful! The dance is a sport rant!

Let's break down the definition of sport. 

"an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment."

An activity: The definition of activity is "a thing that a person or group does or has done." Dance is a thing that a person (me) or a group (my dance school) does or has done.

Involving physical exertion: Do you know how tiring Irish dance is? If I am drilling something for five minutes, that takes more energy than 45 minutes of PE class. We have to put SO much energy into our dancing and make it look like it's effortless.

And skill: Alright, short story. I got to teach PE for one class, and I taught dance to my class. I was teaching them a very basic step. By the end of class, not one of them was able to actually do the step.

In which an individual or team competes against another or others: We, unlike some other types of dance, have competitions regularly where we compete against other dancers. There are also team competitions, where teams compete against other teams.

For entertainment: I started dancing because I enjoy it. The people in the audience also enjoy it. The purpose of dancing, even if it might seem like it's to win, is to have fun. How else would we be able to keep going through a 7-hour-long workshop where the teacher refuses to give us breaks?

I'm not a dancer, but those who talk down about dance still have to go through me!

Not being able to dance makes it all the more impressive for me. I'm not coordinated; it's hard enough for me to play baseball or soccer. I try dancing and suddenly I'm flailing around like a llama on roller skates. It takes real awareness and control of your body to be able to dance properly, which is impressive all on its own, and requires real self-control and focus.

And then the physical requirements! I'm most familiar with ballet because a friend of mine was a hard-core ballerina. She was on a strict diet to keep herself slim, but she was also muscular and incredibly flexible, and she practiced literally any chance she got. She was also super strong - the number of pull-ups she could do!

I once saw a photo of a professional ballet dancer in which a ballerino was holding out his arm - a singular arm - while a ballerina danced on top of it. He was supporting all of her weight with one arm, and she was balancing on one arm! That's outstanding.

Dance is painful, exhausting, hard-core, and requires just as much practice, focus, and strength as any other sport. And dancers have my utmost respect. 

*Hugs* Well, you can always count on me. I'll be here for you, Claaws!