Prince of Pea

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Prince of Pea

Prince of Peace~

Hello. You can call me Jazzy. First, I want to explain what this is! Then I'll tell everybody a little bit about myself :D.

I like to write. I don't have time to write and do Nanowrimo. I also don't have the motivation to write. But way back when I was a young lass, I wrote a 90k+ fanfiction and I only got that far because I publically had people reading it and encouraging me on!  So, hear me out, I've got a theory. I can do the same thing, but with an original story idea, and having some people reading it and giving me feedback will (hopefully) produce the same results! Essentially, I just need some writing accountability buddies and you guys might just do the trick. I might attempt to post my story in regular intervals (like every two weeks), or I might not. We'll just have to see. Either way, if I keep this up, I would ABSOLUTELY LOVE AND APPRECIATE everyone who wants to comment on my story and give advice! Obviously this is a rough draft, so if you see spelling or grammatical errors just ignore them. Those are easy to fix. I'd love advice specifically about the story and characters and plot. All im trying to do right now is write a story! So come at me and rip it to shreds (nicely plz) with advice! My first book is called Prince of Peace. I wrote 15k on it last summer during camp Nanowrimo (whichwasmygoaldon'thateonmefornotfinishingNano. Isucceededokay). I am rewriting it because it needs some work, so everything you will be reading is fresh out of the brain-oven. Anyways, onto ME!

I am, surprise surprise, an old CBer. I was about 11-12 when I joined, and was a part of the Chatterbox for a few years. I'm 18 now. I'm a freshman in college, and I am a music performance major. Because of Covid, my first semester of college has been online, which saves me a ton of money, but really really sucks in every other way. But it's okay! We get through it. But yeah, I take about 17-18 credits every semester to do music performance, so that's why I'm busy and Nanowrimo isn't ideal. (For those that don't know, 18 credits is the max amount in college.) But hopefully a biweekly posting schedule that is very very lax will give me the creative space I need to keep pursuing writing as a hobby! Yay! :D Yeah, Jazzy isn't my original Cber name, btw. I have no intention of revealing my old identity, so you can try and guess, but I'd prefer if you focused your comments on writing tips or other neat stuff like saying hellooo and introducing yourself. I just don't want this thread to turn into a 'guess who I be' kinda thinga ma bob. 

So, onto how this hopefully will work! 

First of all, feel TOTALLY free to introduce yourself to me, and also ask questions about me if you'd like! I know I'm like, an 18 year old, and I hope that isnt creepy, but I loved this community as a kid. I don't feel comfortable posting my story anywhere else, honestly, and this format and website is familiar to me. It was a childhood home. Plus CBers are angels and really sweet. Anyways, for writing stuff, when I post a chapter (I use the term 'chapter' extremely loosely), if you want to give advice, click 'reply' specifically to the box that the chapter is in. Otherwise it'll get confusing and yeaahhhh I don't need more chaos in my life. Because, you know how you can click reply to the main box (which this text is in) and then you can reply to the specific reply to the main box that makes a smaller box underneath the specific box instead of at the END of all of the original replies and everyone gets confused and - yeh. That. Heh. Peace out, I guess. Ask away! 

And, to start us off, what do you think of my first paragraph that I wrote 10 minutes ago? Would you read this book JUST knowing the title and first paragraph?

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"Mothers, as the sayings goes, always know best. They have
eyes on the back of their heads, their hugs and kisses heal the deepest of
wounds, and they know. There are some bad mothers in the world, certainly, but
a good mother can see through the most delicately woven lies and know that something
is wrong. They see. However, it is the wisdom and advice of mothers that should
be appreciated the most. Even on political topics, like assassination, their
advice should be followed. Especially when the topic of assassination hits
quite close to home. Literally. Mothers do, really, know best"

(I won't be able to post more writing until after FINALS UGH, so Mid-December, but I'll answer questions and chat for a bit when I can!!)

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submitted by Jazzy, age oldn'sad
(November 22, 2020 - 11:06 pm)

Sounds good! I'll see you in June :)

submitted by Silver Crystal, age Infinity, Milky Way
(May 5, 2021 - 8:33 am)

Sounds good! Thanks for doing this wonderful story, Jazzy!!

submitted by MoonKitten
(May 5, 2021 - 10:00 am)

Just going to. . . Casually start topping every now and then.

 

submitted by Top
(May 28, 2021 - 4:39 pm)

Just. . . Casually topping

 

submitted by Jaztop
(May 30, 2021 - 3:36 pm)

Hey all! I'm back! And by that, I mean I don't actually have anything written to post but I'm going to START writing things again lol. Taking a month of writing was really nice; it gave me time to mediate on the purpose of my story, what I wanted to say, and reevaluate my intentions in writing. I also just got a break in general

submitted by Jazzy
(June 1, 2021 - 4:13 pm)

Hi Jazz! We missed you around here! Can't wait to see what you have in store for us <33 (Also off topic but happy pride month!)

submitted by Silver Crystal, age PRIDE TIME, Causing PANdemonium!
(June 1, 2021 - 10:03 pm)

June! Yay! I can't wait to read more! (I see '3 days ago by Silver Crystal', by I don't see that comment... Am I just missing something?)

submitted by MoonKitten
(June 4, 2021 - 9:28 pm)

oh nvm 

Glad to see you, Jazzy! 

Twiga says <ztthi> Not sure about the first part, but, yes, hi! 

submitted by MoonKitten
(June 9, 2021 - 11:34 am)
submitted by TOP, of the deep dark sea
(June 8, 2021 - 8:31 am)

Hi guys! Just wanted to pop in and give you an update (no writing today, sorry T-T). BASICALLY, I finished the two weeks from heck (had two jobs, a summer camp, and a wedding going on. It was exhausting.) But now I'm getting into a regularish schedule so I can plan for writing. I've already started writing, hopefully I'll have a scene up by this weekend! 

Also I'm planning on doing camp nanowrimo in July so that will be fun! *cracks knuckles* gotta start practicing my writing speed now!

I'll ttyl!  

submitted by Jazzy
(June 14, 2021 - 4:48 pm)

Here is me wrapping up the last scene i posted! I added the last lines of the previous writing because I changed it up a bit; thanks y'all! It's short and (bitter)sweet!

---

“You are a good king and a good man, Lucius. That is all I ever hoped for for you and it still is all I hope for in my prayers. That Kalo Nima, Goodness and Truth and Beauty herself, would be revealed through you and in you for all of your days.”

Lucius scratched the back of his neck and chuckled. “Thanks, mother. I do hope I live up to those words.” 

“You do, son, Truly.”

Despite the encouraging nature of Deanna’s comment, her words triggered the thoughts he initially sought refuge from. Pressure grew quickly in his chest. His mother placed her hand on his arm and met his gaze, smiling reassuringly, but something about her gaze caused Lucius to flinch away. It felt like her dark brown eyes knew. She said nothing, allowing room for Lucius to voice his troubles. 

He swallowed thickly. “King Eno is being extremely accommodating.” Deanna only nodded, prompting him to continue. “I feel as if he is overcompensating to prove his good intentions. Which, to me, proves he has something to hide. I hope. . . I hope I am not simply postponing an inevitable war. King Gideon freed an oppressed people from suffering under a tyrant, and created a kingdom for them to flourish in. Both his son and grandson built upon that. The Maelfesta name, my name . . . it stands for peace. The power I possess comes from a people loyal to that name; what happens if I lead them into war?” He glanced over at his mother. Her eyebrows were furrowed with emotion as she leaned to catch his gaze. Lucius held her eyes for a moment.

    He laughed and stood abruptly. “I’m not really sure what came over me. I must truly be exhausted. I must go to bed; there is a lot to be done in the morrow.”

“Lucius-” Deanna reached to grab him as she stood, but Lucius danced out of her grasp. 

“Really, mother, I don’t know what came over me. I am a bit worried, but sleep will cure the majority of my fears.”

“Lucius, weren’t you the one just telling me that we should be there to help each other?” The tone of her voice caused him to hesitate, just long enough for her to grab his arm. 

He smiled and looked into her eyes. “You have been a help. I feel fully prepared to sleep.” And then, before she could reply, he pulled her into a hug. His lips brushed the top of her greying hair. “I love you.”

    He was gone in an instant, the rusted key in his hand, the door locked behind him, and his mother grinning on the other side. If the guards noticed how he practically fled back to his chambers, they didn’t mention it.

--

 

submitted by Jazzy
(June 16, 2021 - 6:38 pm)

Oh gosh, Lucius really has a lot of inner turmoil, doesn't he? Deanna is such a wonderful character (also King Eno is sus). It's great to have you back, Jazzy! Keep it up!

submitted by Silver Crystal, age Infinity, Milky Way
(June 16, 2021 - 9:32 pm)

Oh my, sorry for a late reply. King Eno is very sus, it's a good thing Lucius knows not to trust him. I can't wait to see how this turns out! Keep it up Jazzy, and thank you so much for this!

submitted by MoonKitten
(June 17, 2021 - 9:44 am)

More writing! Yay!

This scene just... kind of happened! And I actually really like it :3

--

“You look like death.”

Lucius glanced up from his half-eaten plate of food with a wry smile. “You really know how to give a compliment, Jaque.” 

The soldier chuckled. “You learn a little something when you’ve been married 34 years.”

Jaque did have a point, all jokes aside. Lucius had been functioning on 3 hours of sleep during a whirlwind of a day. The King’s Court had been horribly early, and several other meetings left no time for rest. He was technically in Jaque’s office for another meeting, but here he was eating dinner instead. The warm food and the quiet atmosphere did not help Lucius’ predicament. The weight of exhaustion grew quickly, and he apparently looked as tired as he felt. “It has been a busy day. But this is the end of it.” 

“I won’t take too long, either.” Jaque took another bite of his food and began rifling through some of the papers on his desk. There were stacks of books, papers, pencils, and goblets that littered the scratched, wooden surface. Jaque had shoved half of the mess onto the floor to make room for their dinner. 

Oliver was in the room, too. He had been on duty all day, but took the opportunity of Jaque’s presence to eat his dinner. There was a messy cot against the wall that he sat upon, a plate of food resting on his lap. He chuckled as Jaque began to sift through the papers on the floor. “Apparently 34 years of marriage doesn’t teach a man to clean up after himself.” 

Jaque sat up in his chair and scowled at Oliver, though his eyes were bright. “I’ve seen your cot before, boy, and it’s been much worse than mine!”

“Really, Jaque, when was the last time you’ve been home?” Lucius leaned forward in his chair to try and read the older man’s expression. Jaque’s job was to protect the king, and that had never been harder than during the last month. 

The man laughed. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled reassuringly at his king. “Don’t you worry yourself, your Majesty. Ever since the late Majesty Ignes, Kalo bless his soul, had my missus moved to the castle, she’s been much happier with me. She’s not so far, now.” He ran a hand over his grey beard. There were still streaks of brown that littered his hair, but Lucius was abruptly reminded of his age every time his helmet came off. 

He found himself wondering if Jaque would ever retire, but the thought almost made him laugh. Jaque would die before he quit. A man who almost lost his wife for the job was loyal to a fault. “Well, if your wife is content, then so am I. I can wash my hands of guilt for working you too hard.” 

“I will admit you’re a handful, but nothing I’m not prepared for. Only thing I couldn’t protect his Majesty Ignes from was nature itself.” 

Oliver, aware of Deanna’s suspicions of poison, quickly jumped to change the topic.“Have we enough men for security, Jaque?”

Lucius gave Oliver a nod of thanks. 

“The new recruits we added after the catastrophe that was your coronation,” Jaque shot Lucius an annoyed but playful look, “are just about ready according to Dunstan. Even with the extra help, everyone will be working extra shifts regardless.”

“Is there a reason we’re so short on staff?”

Jaque shook his head. “We’ve enough for normal situations, your majesty, but when you add the extreme precautions and doubled security to the extra events that will occur when King Eno arrives, we’re wading through a thick swamp.”

“That reminds me,” Lucius began to search for a blank piece of parchment to use, “of official business. The Queen and Master of Ceremonies are working together on the traditional festivities of a treaty signing. They insisted on an event for every night the company of Temellon is here.” He found a usable parchment and snatched a quill from the corner of the desk. He began to write a list.  “They’ll be tired when they first arrive, but they should have several hours to rest before the evening feast. A ‘peace feast’ in the Grand Dining hall. After that, just assume there is an event every night. Although I’ll document the specific details.”

He continued to scribble his notes while Jaque nodded thoughtfully. “I’m certainly not worried about your safety, your Majesty. I mean, it is my job to worry, but I’m not worried about a threat from King Eno. It would be far too suspicious if an attempt on your life was made during his stay at the castle.”

“But it’s best to be prepared,” Oliver added. 

“And we will certainly be.”

The planning session with his mother and the Master of Ceremonies had only been a few hours ago, so Lucius remembered most of what was decided upon. He wrote down the details of the events as well as the locations, and then handed the paper to Jaque. 

He worked to finish his dinner while Jaque looked over the list. The potatoes were just barely warm. 

“A hunting trip? Really?” Jaque peered over the paper at Lucius with his eyebrows raised. 

“If all goes well, it could be an opportunity to ensure good rapport between myself and King Eno.”

“You haven’t left the castle in a month.”

“It might not happen, but you should be aware of the possibility.”

Jaque nodded and made a note on the page. After a few more moments, he finished reading. “I’ll start working on it.” He set the paper down and reached for his plate of food with a sigh. “It’s getting late. Is this your last stop before retiring, your majesty?”

“I plan on picking up some literature from the library. I have some further research to do on the old treaty between us and Temellon. My court was a mess today, unfortunately.” Part of it could have been because Lucius had been a mess today, but he quickly pushed the unbidden thought from his mind. Although it took all morning to find direction, the Court did find direction. They had a plan for tomorrow. 

Lucius made a mental note to pick up some reading on the politics of Temellon, as well. The confusing alliance of the Thirteen Kings was certain to come up at some point, and he wanted to be fully aware of the mess that was Temellon before the end of the week. 

“Did you send out the invitations to the Dukes yet, your majesty?” Oliver asked. 

“No, we didn’t get to that today. They’ll be sent first thing in the morning.” 

“You could ask the Dukes to bring extra security, Jaque.”

Jaque ran a hand over his face. “Most already bring a small guard, but I plan to secure the whole castle with my own men. Less confusing that way.”

“They could come in handy for extra shifts.”

The man paused to think, this time. He shook his head after a few moments. “I’ll plan to use my men and my men only. But if we need extra soldiers, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“The request for extra security also gives the impression that we aren’t secure,” Lucius added.

Oliver nodded and leaned back against the wall, his arms crossed. 

“Is there anything else you needed, Jaque?” Lucius asked. 

“This is all for now, your majesty.” The men stood from their seats. Jaque bowed. “Thank you for your time, your majesty.”

Lucius nodded. “Thank you.” Oliver had already put his helmet back on his head and was standing by the door. He opened it, and then fell into step behind Lucius with the guard that had been hovering outside Jaque’s office. 

--

Lemme know your thoughts, as always! Thank you for keeping with me! :D

submitted by Jazzy
(June 24, 2021 - 9:28 pm)

Lucius, Jaque, and Oliver have the best dynamic- honestly, where would anyone be without Jaque?? I also kind of get the feeling that Oliver is someone who is often overlooked, but if he were to leave, then things would start to fall apart without him lol. Anywayyy, I loved this chapter! Lucius' tired collage student vibes are only multiplying at this rate, but he's trying his best <333 Keep it up, Jazzy! 

submitted by Silver Crystal, age Infinity, Milky Way
(June 25, 2021 - 10:05 pm)