MWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ooh, sounds fun! How is it?

Ooh fun!! I don't usually watch ballets (I think I saw the Nutcracker once..?), do you have any recommendations for some good ones? I've been meaning to watch some recorded musicals recently but haven't really had the time. 

I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED -! ...by Rothbart or Drosselmeyer idk hopefully Drosselmeyer. he just seems less evil, you know? or maybe I'm actually a doll made by the guy in Coppelia whose name I don't know. Whatever lore you want *shrugs*

For the record, musicals are different from ballets and much more comparable to opera. Ballets never have words (though operas are usually written in other languages, so you probably won’t understand them either). You often need to read a synopsis to really understand what’s happening, though some have better storytelling than others depending on the choreography (I’ve found that The Royal Opera House usually is very clear about what’s going on, for instance).

Reccomending ballets is difficult because you have to reccomend a good recording as well, and those are hard to find. You often need to buy a subscription for something in order to find the good recordings, sadly.

However, if you want to start watching ballets, there are a lot of great ones you can start with. Romeo and Juliet by Prokofiev or Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky would probably be good if you want something with more emotion (both have similar content warnings though hehe so probably look up the plots; a lot of Swan Lakes use different endings, though, including the one that’s my favorite). If you want something more fun I’d recommend starting with The Nutcracker by Tchaikovsky - it’s a favorite for a reason. If you want something that is not technically Christmas-y (I watch Nutcracker all year long though XD) maybe try Coppelia by Delibes or Sleeping Beauty by Tchaikovsky. I’d definitely suggest Sleeping Beauty overall, especially since I… erm, haven’t finished watching either hehe (I really need to finish it, but I just love the opening act so much I just want to watch it over and over again XD). But from what I’ve watched of Coppelia, Tchaikovsky was right about its “infectious melodies”, so maybe you’d like that too. I mean, I’ve liked all of it from the first listen, and I usually dislike new stuff XD Still, I feel like Sleeping Beauty and The Nutcracker feel more substantial somehow. But that could just be what I prefer.

Coppelia is more in the specialist style, so it’s kind of lighter. When Swan Lake came out, many critics thought the music was too noisy, too Wagnerian, and too symphonic for ballet. (It’s funny because people were always like “too Wagnerian >:( oh wait it’s genius hehe *shame*) That being said the rest of the performance was an absolute mess XD  Also although the ending of Swan lake was changed, it’s sad that there’s no way the story isn’t basically him pouring out his emotions because he was gay and it was the 1800s… I mean, he was excited about it too - he wrote more music than is in a normal production of it today in a year or less. He must have been impersonating Handel XD 

Since I didn’t talk about Romeo and Juliet: the music is absolutely amazing. I played a small amount of the music (The Montagues and the Capulets, which is the name of the specific like arrangement-ish thing) in orchestra and my conductor, who does a LOT of ballet, said that it’s probably his favorite music for stage. I think that’s pretty fair. It’s really good. I don’t have as much of a good recording for this, though, sadly.

If you’re going to listen to Swan Lake, I’d highly suggest the version by the Paris Opera Orchestra/Ballet, choreographed by Rudolf Nureyev, conducted by Vello Pahn, and danced by Agnes Letestu and Jose Martinez as Odette/Odile and Seigfried and Karl Paquette as Rothbart. I think you can find it on Prime Video or some similar service if you want to rent it once. Do be warned that it has flashing lights. This one also has the ending where they’re just separated. For Nutcracker, it 100% has to be the Royal Opera House 2018 version, with Barry Wordsworth as the conductor, Anna Rose O’Sullivan as Clara, Marcelino Sambe as The Nutcracker (he’s the best part :D There are people who are really graceful and people who have a lot of energy and are really good jumpers and such; he’s both), and Marianela Nuñez as The Sugar Plum Fairy. The people who play all of them (but especially The Nutcracker and Clara) are the best. Unfortunately I’m not sure if you can get this one outside of Marquee TV, and that’s a very expensive subscription. With Sleeping Beauty, the 2020 Royal Opera House version with Fumi Kaneko and Frederico Bonelli as Princess Aurora and Prince Florimund and Simon Hewett as the conductor is great (there are a few flashing lights). But I also don’t know if you can find that one outside of Marquee. The ballet and music aspects are both done really well here. Also the bird fairy is so fun :D 

Also I want to see Cinderella by Prokofiev so bad but I can’t find it *sobs* Everything by Prokofiev is amazing. 

Thinking it over, though, I think Sleeping Beauty might be the best to start with, especially if you like cool costumes. But yeah, you really do need to find a good recording, which is very annoying. I can look on any streaming services I have and see if I can find any I'd reccomend, if you want; I'd probably enjoy it XD 

Also, both of you like writing, right? What sort of things are you writing? I don’t know if I’ve read much by Silver Crystal (though the few things I have read are superb). I always love reading Jaybells’ writing though! Last night I started a new story and I already have over 1,000 words and I'm bad at typing (sometimes XD). I should have some things that continue the conversation we were having soon but ballet is talking over my life :DDD 

Okay, to start, I saw what you (Jaybells) posted on the Care Packages thread and I’m so sorry about all of that. That’s really awful. I haven’t really put together a coherent response yet, but you shouldn't have to go through any of that and I hope at the very least you find something good in your life besides the Chatterbox soon.  Also, since people seem to like to know that they’re going through similar things as other people (I don’t know why tbh, it just makes me hate myself for ever feeling bad because everyone else has it worse, but in case it helps), I’m going through a lot of similar things. Basically everything you posted except for the trans friend, actually. Which I'm so sorry about btw. I might be able to put together a bit of advice, but I can only suggest things that might help unfortunately; there might be reasons that you can’t use any of them, and I’m aware of that. So the only real thing I can do is tell you that I’m sorry and feeling bad about that is totally reasonable and I really hope things get better in any small way possible soon. And though I can technically only speak for myself, I'm pretty certain literally everyone here is glad to have you.

Possible ways I can actually help: if not many people use your pronouns in real life, I could write a short story or paragraph about you in third person using those (I could even do a short story thing). That might be nice for a little bit of gender euphoria? If you want a picturing I could absolutely do that, but that seems like it’d probably be harder because of the race stuff we were talking about. I could draw a picture of a thing or character you like, if that would be easier. I could critique a poem, story, and/or piece of art (or I could just focus on the positives, because seriously, you’re great at all of those things). I could post a recipe (that I made) for hot chocolate or soup or even fried rice or something (though the soup would require herbs, preferably fresh, and the fried rice would require ingredients that non-Japanese people probably don’t have lying around) if you could make those and would like to. I could probably do a lot of other things but I can’t think of them at the moment. If any of that would help please let me know! Most of them would take a bit, especially recipes, since I just kind of estimate everything and the sizing varies wildly XD Also I have ADHD so everything takes way longer than it should if I can make myself do it at all. Just a warning.

I do have a question for Jaybells, though: if you are out in real life and use xe, how do people react? I’m kind of struggling with what I would even say if I came out (even besides the fact that my dad at the very least spends a lot of time listening to conservative media and my mom is… my mom and all that) because he/they is only remotely okay if it’s alternating, he/she (alternating) or he/her/him/himself is not great because people see me as one of those and I’m not okay with that and also they’d just use that one, and the others… Well, they’re either nounself (stuff like thy/thymes or co/clouds or ti/trills or ae/stars) or they’re nonthemed neos (and usually weirder ones, like fe/fir, co/cos, and ae/aer or ae/aes). The entirety of gender kind of seems like it’s a big game of pick your poison though… anyway sorry rant, and if you don’t have answer that’s okay just curious. 

Just to be clear, the play and ballet of Romeo and Juliet are not the same. I haven’t seen the play (or all of the ballet but shh I just don’t have a good recording). Also i’m glad you’re interested in checking the ballet out! You might be able to find the DVD version of the Swan Lake I recommended at the library. Also I’ve been growing more fond of Coppelia as I rewatch the opening, but I still haven’t watched much of it and I still prefer Sleeping Beauty (which I have now watched all of multiple times). So. 

I feel the productivity thing but also watching ballet while doing things is the only way I can be productive XD 

Silver, I’m impressed you’re doing a writing contest and even more impressed you’ve gotten an award 0_o I wish you luck on getting another! But even if you don’t, even being brave enough to enter is really impressive.

Back to what we were talking about: I’m probably not the best resource for this since I’m more Japanese-Hawaiian than Japanese-Japanese, but yeah, Japan absolutely has so much internalized bigotry. And frankly, a lot of it is just because they want to be white. For instance, from what I can find, it was pretty normal to be gay/bi in old Japan, and there are literally genderless/genderfluid kamisama. But now, being queer is not really accepted. Also I kind of hate being Japanese (specifically Japanese) because of that. And anime and Japanese pop culture, largely because of how white people have ruined it tbh. And all the atrocities Japan has committed (like WWII, or how incredibly bad Japan has been to Korea and all that. Also sorry about that. I obviously don't support what happened). I just kind of hate Japan tbh. But it’s also a fundamental part of who I am.

Also, I’m sorry you’re having to hide your queerness! I’m kind of in the same boat. There’s a lot (like a lot) of different parts that make it hard to come out for me, unfortunately. Oddly my dad is pretty conservative *shudders*, but my (Japanese, interestingly) grandma seems to be fine with queer people. I mean, she literally talked about a book that had a character with prominent gay dads with me (in letters), and even though I don’t think she gets trans people, she also isn’t hateful. 

And being trans absolutely complicates all of this as well, in a lot of ways. Also being mixed - there’s no way I could go with a white name (as a main name, at least). But how is that going to affect how people see me? (and like people probably won’t do anything but… still.)

Also, I’m realizing that I don’t know what your pronouns are or how Jaybells’ are conjugated, so if you feel comfortable posting that please let me know! I want to get this out as soon as possible so I'm posting it. I wrote too much about the story so that’ll be a separate post oops 

Yeah/thanks about the bad things, probably has to do with racism somehow since I feel much less like I’m a bad person for the hideous things white people have done. Possibly because people online (and irl) can be very “well Japan has done many bad things so I don’t care about racism towards them” and frankly it doesn’t get disputed that much. Never that overt but… like with white trans people taking Japanese names (white!!!) people are either like “people in Japan don’t mind!” or “Japan was a major power in WWII and that affects it somehow” or something worse. (also I hate the name thing so bad. why do you even want it? And it’s always like Kage (shadow) or something cool and anime. No actual Japanese person is naming their kid Shadow (sadly XD). And like my parents chose a white name for me specifically because they knew it would be bad especially since we were moving to midwest soon (maybe related to my dad retiring from military idk), and it’s just… i hate it. Also i hate that if I ever say my name in an online (or even in person, possibly) trans space (my actual official name is going to be Japanese for certain) i’ll have to specify that I’m Japanese. I just hate it every time I see it.)

Also in case you’re wondering i have a strong tendency to look up stuff I know is going to hurt for that reason. idk if any of that is exact quotes but man people talking about white people taking POC names gets very gross very quickly (and Japan is always brought up because it happens so much)

Yes about neos thank you so muchhhh!!!! Also he/him lesbians, she/her gay people, non-dysphoric trans people, etc. (Waitttt I just realized I’m actually a she/her gay XD he/she and what is gender anyway and also aroace, but still. But that’s kind of “in an ideal world” since irl I’m stuck as one and I honestly don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to use them because of that which is sad) As far as gender goes, for me it’s xenogenders and presentations I like (which is kind of xenogenders in a way). And frankly, the xenogenders are way more important. Also, I think especially with nounself pronouns like cloud/clouds, people think you’re seeking attention or all sorts of weird stuff, considering the attention is bad and nobody actually uses those irl so you just get hated for no reason… Also it’s so cool that you know those people irl!!!! I wish (except my parents kind of have to go everywhere with me)

I’m curious how much Hawai’i affected your grandma and if you have any culture bits from it still? Like, if I make one of my Hawaiian characters say “I’m all pau with the *insert something chaotic here*, can we please open the shipment of poi and kulolo now? *begs*”, how much of that do you understand? 

please rant about white people and East Asian culture, Silver. Please. I beg you. (If you don't want to that's fine i just have too much to say)

Jaybells, can I ask your opinion on something? It sounds like you’re pretty white passing so if you have any thoughts on this that’d be great. So recently I decided to make my one remaining white main character mixed race (XD), but that means that his* brother, a major major antagonist who’s just a really bad guy, is also mixed race. (They’re Japanese and Black and maybe like an eighth white on one side and fully white on the other, if it matters.) Only there are plot things that would make it… very complicated for him to be visibly a person of color, so I was thinking he would be white passing. And like, I would give him complex feelings on that and such, but I do feel slightly odd about having the only/most white passing person in a book be the major antagonist. I don’t think that’s a particularly useful or helpful representation. (*I really need to figure out what pronouns he uses but he’s fine with he/him; he identifies as his birth gender but in a nonbinary way and might also have feminine gender stuff at the same time. Also he’s autistic and he doesn’t get any of that either, so it’s kind of just “eh this seems cool but this one hurts” like it is with me XD)

There is another character, K, who is also kind of in between white passing and Asian passing. At the very least, when they’re with their (fully Japanese; they don’t have the same dad) brother, people are confused. I was thinking they were more in between, but I could make them more white passing if that would help. If you don't know/have thoughts that's fine, just wondering if you did.

Edit I kind of have thing to say. I wanted to make cat a costume for Odile/Odette and parents were like “no” and “he won’t want one” and just realized it’s because he’s boy and whyyyy? Probably should not hurt so much but ughhhh (also cat wears costumes, he likes them and purrs when I put them on) why can't I get social things??? I know it doesn't matter but I should have at least realized that was why... 

This keeps getting too long sorry, will probably post about book later.