Please read this!

Chatterbox: Down to Earth

Please read this!

Please read this!

Okay. I don't like when other people enter these kinds of comments, but I think something needs to be said.

The Chatterbox is beginning to creak at the seams. It's still a ways away from falling apart, but that event is coming. New joiners scarcely ever come back, and the subject-pages are clogged and seem to be decaying a little. Why?

Not because of the Politics Thread. Not because of the petty 'wars' that take place every now and again. Not because of differences in views.

It is, in my mind, a result of the new in-flow of personal threads that has been going on for a bit now. This is a very touchy and sensitive subject, and I don't know if I'm really authorized to speak on it, and the Admins shouldn't publish it if it hurts the community. All right.

By personal threads, I mean those threads people start in which they talk about the problems they are having in their lives.

Now let me get one thing straight-- I wholey understand why these threads are made. I get why people want to share their sad experiences with folk they like, but don't really know in real life and will probably never meet. It's not difficult or embarassing to empty your troubles out into the cyber-ears of people you will never see, but who like you and will be happy to condole, empathize, and sympathize with, and encourage, you. With 'real' people, you have to calculate with your real relationships with those people, and also face losing their respect or regard or friendship, or just the embarassment and general discomfort of discussing things like this with them.  I get all of this.

But I think that is not what the Chatterbox is for. It is for writing and reading and for sharing the love of these things, and for the fellowship of people like oneself in a safe, comfortable and free environment. It is the best site for this purpose that I have ever seen. Kids of all ages can feel welcome here, and can interact with others without being condescended to or looked down upon. Or that was how it used to be.  When I first joined, things were brighter and busier. Now they seem to be on the way to stagnation.

People, especially those who are quite young, come here to be happy. They do not come to be battered with everyone's emotional and often 'mature' problems. These problems clog up the site and make especially younger prospective joiners feel unwelcome. It takes from the reading-and-writing aspect of the site, and even occasionally challenges the safety aspect, too.

I know that this is asking a lot, but-- could people perhaps find another place to share their problems? I am aware that this is a readily available place where you stand little danger of being ridiculed or disregarded, where comfort and encouragement is always available, and where you can at last relieve yourself a little of some of the burdens of your life. But that just isn't what the Chatterbox is for.

I'd also remind everyone that, although the CBers here will offer advice, sympathy, and words of cheer there is little we can actually DO for you. I would advise you to take courage and look to the 'real' people in your life, who can really help you. It does no one any good for someone to neglect their relationships wth the people they meet every day, and to pour themselves out into people they will never meet.

Please understand that I am not angry with anyone, that I am in no way attempting to offend or hurt anyone, and that I'm not trying to be a goody-goody. I'm truly sorry if I have caused any damage. Please don't anyone take this wrong!  And Admins, if this thread is publication-appropriate, please give it a chance! 'Bye! :) 

 

Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Esthelle. There are still plenty of writing and book threads on Chatterbox, but let's see if others agree that there are too many personal problem threads.

Admin

submitted by Esthelle (Es-thel-ay, age Anonymous, Rivendell (I wish) ;)
(June 11, 2016 - 3:20 pm)

(LOL) Touche! -- You make a valid point, and it deserves a reply. And you know what? I will even tell you my username or rather something about it, but I think you will find the information rather...anti-climactic?
Are you ready...? My username is...I don't have one. (LOL) The truth is that I've only been on Chatterbox less than six months. And when I came here, I wasn't quite sure if I had the time to get involved, and I still don't know. So I didn't create a username because, to me, that meant I was committing myself to some degree of involvement. For the most part, I've been popping my head in here every now and then when I get the chance and just quickly browsing the threads. I never really started posting until recently, and I have only done it on two threads: this one and the Politics Thread. In both cases, I really didn't want to post because I knew that one post might lead to other posts, and I wasn't quite sure if I could respond within a reasonable time. In both cases, I felt it was important to post, and so I did. I posted anonymously on the Politics Thread as well, just not in the same way as here. In there, I put my age as Forever and kept changing the location field.
So there you have it. I was sort of going by my "username"; you just didn't know it. :)

submitted by ?, age ?, ?
(June 23, 2016 - 7:55 am)

Perhaps if I frame this discussion in a different way...A lot of you here are writers. Some are also artists. You submit stories, poems, artwork. Other CBers give feedback. They compliment you on your work. And you do the same for other CBers. Ask yourself, how did it make you feel when you read the compliments. Did the good feeling that you felt seem any less real coming from CBers than the good feeling that comes from getting compliments from physical people in your life. When you complimented other CBers, were you any less genuine in your response?
The way I see it there are two camps on this issue. And I really don't care whose camp is the largest or the loudest. Even if there was only one person in the "for personal threads camp" (which is not even the case here), I would still try to accommodate both simply because it's really not that hard to do. I personally think these threads benefit readers and writers alike. But if it's not your cup of tea, just move on. Frankly, if the subjects of these personal posts make you squeamish, I suggest really choosing your books very carefully since literature is littered with just these kind of topics. Actually, the ones here are pretty tame but still the stuff of everyday life.
One other thing, I don't think we need to ask people to justify why they want to post their problems. Do we ask people to justify their posting of certain RPs or stories? And I certainly think we need to move away from assuming that we know what's best for people in this case. If people would rather not share some things with the physical people in their lives, that's up to them. They certainly didn't ask our advice on that matter. Plus, these thread make up such a small amount compared to other threads on here
Can we just please, PLEASE, let people share what they are willing to share of themselves. Sharing is good. I'm all for sharing. :)

submitted by ?, age ?, ?
(June 20, 2016 - 8:32 pm)

@Question mark

Persistent? Hahaha! Obsessed is what you mean, right?! LOL!

And yes, I'm a bit less outspoken in the real world, but again, you have no way of knowing that.

submitted by Mei-xue (May-shreh) , Fairyland
(June 22, 2016 - 3:07 pm)

I'm glad you weren't offended, Mei-xue. :)

submitted by ?, age ?, ?
(June 23, 2016 - 7:57 am)

Hello, all! :)
I've been away, and have done some thinking meanwhile.

I believe that I may have overreacted a little when I brought this topic up for discussion-- but I am not sorry that I brought it up. 

First-- I would like to say that when I began the thread, many writing threads were more slow than I had previously seen them, and there were more personal threads than I was used to. The Romance thread had been started, and then banned by the Admins. It seemed to me that personal issues were becoming, one might say, the central spotlight of the Chatterbox, and I dd not particularly relish the idea. So I began this thread. Then the personal issues trend died down a smidge, and things seemed to be going back to normal.

So perhaps I made an Orodruin out of a Hobbit-hole, but I would like to have it known that I did not act without any perception or deduction.

I would agree with the Admins, in that personal threads should be clearly labeled for what they are. I also believe, however, that some wisdom should be used in the creating of such threads-- the Romance thread, for example, was, I believe, unnecessary. Again, it was banned by the Admins, which leads to the logical deduction that it was more harmful than benefiting. So I come to the conclusion that personal threads should not be banned or discouraged, but that we should execute thoughtfulness and maturity when creating them, and remember the real purpose of our Chatterbox. I believe that all of us here are quite capabe of both virtues. Again, I am glad that I brought this topic up-- I think that it does the Chatterbox good to discuss issues, so that a firm middle-ground may be found, that benefits the Chatterbox. I would say that such a middle-ground has been found here. Thank you all for your thought, input, and time! :)

submitted by Esthelle (Es-thel-ay, age Anonymous, Rivendell (I wish) ;)
(June 25, 2016 - 10:32 pm)

Oh, good! :)

"Orodruin out of a Hobbit-hole "...That's so funny! True LOTR fan at heart, huh?

I should really read those books... 

submitted by Mei-xue (May-shreh), Fairyland
(June 26, 2016 - 5:35 pm)

M'kay, awesome!

submitted by Abigail S., age 11, Nose in a Book
(June 27, 2016 - 9:11 am)

I am glad that you agree! And-- I'm glad you recognized that phrase, Mei! :D And yes-- you really should read those books. Everyone should. ;)

submitted by Esthelle (Es-thel-ay, age Anonymous, Rivendell (I wish) ;)
(July 2, 2016 - 9:35 am)