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Chatterbox: Down to Earth

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Confess your deepest secrets here, anonymously, if you'd prefer

I won't judge

submitted by Anonymous, age x, x
(October 15, 2020 - 1:43 pm)

back to the Down to Earth

I... sometimes do things just for the attention. But please don't judge me for it! Everyone always says (in media and books and stuff, never to me) "Oh, that's just for attention" so scornfully, like it's a bad thing. But is it? Is it really so bad to want to be noticed? Is it so bad to want people to actually see me for once? I fish for compliments sometimes, I'll admit, like saying "I'm bad at that" just to see if anyone spares the effort to reassure me. But is that so bad? No one ever really looks at me, and I feel really alone sometimes. I only have one friend, and she's with her other friends a lot of the time. I drift on the edges of a couple different friend groups, but I don't belong in either one. I hate myself a little for it, too, for shoving myself in places I don't belong and pretending to be things I'm not. 

The worst part of it, though (for me), is that when I do something for attention, like say "I'd be terrible at that", no one ever does say something. They usually just nod offhandedly while paying more attention to their friends than me. Do they realize I'm doing it for attention and are trying to get me to stop? Are they completely oblivious to that, and they just don't like me? Are they trying to discreetly tell me they don't actually care about me? Or am I just paranoid? 

If you respond to this, however you do so, just... please be nice. I haven't been this honest with anyone in a long time. 

submitted by id like to stay anon
(May 18, 2022 - 8:58 pm)

Hey, I understand. Both from myself, and my friend.

first off- *hugs*

I've been in this situation, and I fixed it... but I want to know, do you want comfort and support or advice? I can give either, if you'd like, and of course you don't have to listen to the advice at all, but it worked for me and I no longer crave attention.

-Ryder 

submitted by Ryder, age They/them, That’s my anon name
(May 18, 2022 - 11:46 pm)

Oof. I totally understand.

I think there's nothing inherently wrong with seeking attention and companionship, as long as it is causing no harm to anyone else. I also would be happy to talk with you more to help you through it, if you'd like, my Lonely Friend. :)

And as a response to your questions from before, I think that most people tend to scorn "doing things for attention" when they're done solely for attention because the person feels entitled to that praise, and often acts self-centeredly and without regard to others. It's definitely easy to dislike that kind of quality in a person. From what you've said, I think you're definitely not that kind of person, just a very lonely one who craves interactions, but it can be difficult for some to distinguish between the two at times. I think we've all felt this way at one time or another.

Also, maybe as a way to gain attention in a 'good' way, you could focus on something you enjoy doing. If you get very good at it, people will likely notice, and from there on you can strike up conversation! Also, you could try complimenting others more often. When you praise others, most people look for things to compliment you on in return.

submitted by Jaybells@an anon, Lost, somewhere
(May 19, 2022 - 12:37 am)

thanks guys

submitted by id like to stay anon
(May 19, 2022 - 6:36 pm)

@id like to stay anon, i completely understand. my life is hard too, and i regularly experience feelings very similar to yours. i am constantly worrying that i am a bad person, and i have to tell myself no. 

one of my flaws is that i'm bad at reassuring others, but just know that you aren't alone. you are an amazing, wonderful person, and nothing can change that. NOTHING. 

submitted by Darkvine
(May 19, 2022 - 7:31 pm)

My deepest secret is that i cry nearly every day. i'm not a crybaby or anything, i just get really worked up about things. does anybody else have that secret?

 

-Don't Even Try To Guess

submitted by Don't Try To Guess, not telling
(May 19, 2022 - 9:34 pm)

I feel similarly, I don't cry every day but there are moments I feel like I will most days and I sometimes have days where the entire time I feel like I am about to cry and have to instantly run off to the bathroom so nobody sees. You're not alone.

submitted by Just Nobody I Guess
(May 21, 2022 - 3:58 pm)

I feel similarly, I don't cry every day but there are moments I feel like I will most days and I sometimes have days where the entire time I feel like I am about to cry and have to instantly run off to the bathroom so nobody sees. You're not alone.

submitted by Just Nobody I Guess
(May 21, 2022 - 3:59 pm)
submitted by me too
(May 21, 2022 - 7:41 pm)

I don't feel happy with my self, I wish I could be like everybody else, seem cool, trusworthy and a good friend. My family keeps telling me to look happier, but how can I be happy on the outside if I'm not happy on the inside. I get dpressed easily, I try and have a intimadating demenor, even though my wall is made of sand. I only feel truly happy when I'm with my thoughts and art, but even then, I'm not happy with my art, Every time I think to my self wow, I really like this. I always see a pice of art, that shoots me down again. I wish I could feel happy all the time, with me, and the things I do. Worst of all I have things I want to be, and my parents don't want me to be them, I allways caught up in a tug of war with my self, should I be who I want to be be, or who everyone else wants me to be.

Does any one else feel to be admired by a friend, you have to like and do what they do?

submitted by Upset, age .........., Depressed
(May 22, 2022 - 5:05 pm)

@Upset, you have pretty much described what my mind is like. whenever i feel this way, i just remind myself that the Chatterbox exists, and there are so many amazing people here.

submitted by Darkvine
(May 23, 2022 - 9:02 am)

I think you need to talk to someone. A lot of people have experiences like this, so they know how to help. And be yourself! I know that sounds cheesy and stupid and easier said than done, but seriously. Friends like you for you. In fact, my best friend and I disagree on just about everything, but we still respect each other. Just remember that you're not there to be satisfactory or sufficient to anyone else, you're there to be satisfactory to yourself. Be who you want to be. Because it's the people who have the courage to do that that are truly amazing. Truly heroes.

submitted by Periwinkle, age Pi, Somewhere in the stars
(May 23, 2022 - 5:53 pm)

Thanks Perwinkle, that really helped.

submitted by Upset@Periwinkle, Depressed
(May 24, 2022 - 5:27 pm)
submitted by yes same
(May 22, 2022 - 7:59 pm)

I feel cold, both literally and metaphorically

submitted by someone
(May 22, 2022 - 7:59 pm)
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