I go to a school where weare in a very advanced, competitive program. Today, in science, while discussing our Community Service Project:

Teacher: (going on a bout this reflection we need to write for the project) And you can't just write a one word answer and expect to get any credit! You got to reflect! You got to analyze! You got to be an honor student! Are we honor students?????!!!!

Whole Class Collectively: Yes.

My Lab Partner: Wait, we're honor students?

Me: (too surprised to be sarcastic or snarky) Of course! How did you miss out on that? 

Lab Partner: Well, I only came in last year....

Me: Really, though. You can't tell the difference between Passport (that's the name of the regualr program here) and IB (honor program)????

Lab Partner: Well, just checking... 

Yesterday, my AP Bio teacher was talking about J and S curves and he used cooties as an example.  He has paintings all over his room and went off on a tangent about The Lion King because of one of them. 

My friend and my other friend (who happens to be a boy) were sitting at a table alone together because me and my third friend were getting lunches. The vice principal walked by, patted the boy's shoulder, and said, "Good man."

 The same guy that was above, I'll call him Jim from now on: Okay, I'll go get something. I trust you with this lunch tray. NOBODY EAT MY FRENCH FRIES.

The same girl that was sitting with him,I'll call her Chuji from now on: As soon as he leaves, grabs a french fry. 

Some sixth grader I was carpooling with to swim practice: Ooh, it's a Wendy's!

Me: Ew.

Him: It's a Wendy's, though!

Me: Ew.

Him: It's Wendy's!

Me: Exactly. Ew.

Him: But it's delicious!

Me: No way.

Me: You know, I really don't see what all the fuss is about asking boys to the dance. I mean, if you want to dance with a boy, not that I see how anyone would, you could ask him there.

Chuji: Congrats, Katia! You've figured out that you DON'T NEED TO ASK A BOY TO THE DANCE! (sarcastically)

Another friend, calling her Spark: Now tell that to the girls in our grade. 

yesterday,my friends and I were talking about what time one of our classes is tomorrow,

friend 1:Yeah, I wrote it on my calender, but I  don't look at it.

friend 2: (Don't remember exactly what she said, but it was something along the same lines.)

me:Well I don't write on my calendar, I just like the pictures.

At school, dissing Twilight: (I'm going to make up names)

Gollum: I will never watch Twilight unless someone ties me up and ties me to a chair and gags me.

Angela: What if someone offers you a million dollars to watch Twilight?

Gollum: Maybe. With a million dollars I could do a lot of things.

Me: Exactly. You could give it to me, and when I finish with world domination I'll give you a country or two. That's called investing. 

The captcha: mumn 

I share the opinion on Twilight with Gollum the second.

I was doing this Social Studies assignment, where we have to color in a map (really stupid, right?)  Anyway, I took up an orange colored pencil. meaning to color Uzbekhistan, and say to myself, "you know, if you name a country Greenland, you're begging for it to be colored orange."

I had a weird-looking tomato at lunch today. It was yellow, and looked a little like a squash. A mini one.

Me: *holding yellow tomato* What is this supposed to be? A squash or a tomato?

Vivian (not really paying attention): Ah, tomato-chan, I knew him well. To nom, or not to nom, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to face the... flaming arrows of veggies...

Ash: I think it's a squash.

Me: *pokes* Are you absolutely sure?

Ash: Yeah. Because I can do this. *squeezes tomato*

Me: Well, a squash would have a hard shell.

Olivia: Yeah! It's just a baby squash with a soft shell!

Ash: Are you suuuuure???

Me: *straightens up to full sitting height* THE INFANT SQUASHOID HAS A NON-HARD SHELL.

And somehow, I managed to prove it.

~Blue Fairy~ and I were doing improv and filming it.  It turned out really funny.

My favorite quote from it: "No, you are not a bah-nah-nah! Vy vould you zink you are a bah-nah-nah?"

Quote of the day: 

"I can't go on without my pants!"- Jem Finch   We were watching To Kill a Mockingbird, the movie, today. That's probably the best line in the whole movie. The best line in the book: "The world's ending, Atticus! Do something!" 

My cousin, I'm going to call her M, was telling me that the other day her little brother caught a cricket and had it in a jar:

M: You have to poke holes in that jar so it can get air, or else it will die.

Little brother: No, I already got air in it from outside!

My friend "Julie" and I were talking about teachers during dance class.

"Julie": So, how do you like Mr. X?

Me: He's nice, but remember how Mr. Y used to go off on tangents all the time, then get back on track?

"Julie": Mhmm.

Me: He's like that... But with more tangents.

"Julie": And less track. 

Student Council President Nominee:

"My one and only weakness is that I do not accept failure from myself."

Senate Democratic Nominee:

"The fact of the matter is is ..."

No, these aren't related.  But they're funny.

To bring this back to life (we're talking about a group camp the sixth grade goes to)

Sixth grader: So...if there's a lake...will we do any swimming stuff?

Me: It's in FEBRUARY.

Him: I know. Are we going to do any swimming stuff?

Me:(sarcastically) Yeah, [your science teacher] wakes you up at 4:00 in the morning, you put on your swim trunks and take off anything else, and then he picks you up and chucks you into the freezing cold lake.

Him: *stares* FOR REAL!?

Me: Yeah. Don't worry, it sounds scary, but it's actually pretty fun if you can avoid the man-eating fish.