hey periwinkle, i hope you don't mind me calling you peri. 

this username is kind of just where i can be, you know, me, without having to uphold every social norm. but still let's talk about this. 

periwinkle. for the entirety of the time i've known you i have seen you as an amazingly talented writer. yes, it is a kind of ocmmon ground to be a good writer on here. no, you are not selfish for wanting to stand out. 

and trust me, you are an AMAZING writer. 

as for the friends problem: this is cliche, but you really need to speak to them about it. if they really are your friends they'll understand. 

i can't really say anything else but: one last thing 

i hope your situation gets better. 

lots of love, 

l.m. 

Oh Peri, you absolutely deserve better...

You are a brilliant writer and no one has the right to belittle you for your passion. Just because they have an inferiority complex, or are jealous, or whatever going on doesn't mean that you're not skilled and can't share your work. It's quite sad to see your "friends" treat you in this way. Personally, I believe that if they continue to be rude and not show respect for you, you shouldn't hang out with them as much. You don't have to cut them off entirely all of a sudden, but if they're seriously toxic, let them deal with their own problems. If you're good at something and they're not, they're the ones at fault for making you feel bad; feeling hurt by their immaturity isn't wrong, and you should feel comfortable standing up for yourself. 

I know you're really sweet and kind, Peri -- it's something I really admire about you -- but there's a difference between being thoughtful and letting people walk all over or take advantage of you. It's easy to feel guilty for shining, and making others feel bad about feeling inferior, but it's really not your fault that people are bothered by being told/shown you being good at what you do. That's just how life is; some people are better at certain things or will get more recognition for it, and that's okay. What's not okay is taking out those frustrations on people who are more skilled than oneself for no fault of their own. These kids will have to get over themselves and get used to that feeling if they ever want to be a functional part of society, so don't take it to heart. Stay confident in yourself and your abilities and interests, girlie.

Also, kind of a side-note, but if your "friends" don't like the stuff you do, respect you or your interests, and are insulting your character constantly (like seriously, "basic and sensitive"?)... Why are you friends, anyway? It sounds like you're not enjoying hanging out much (they've been making you cry and feel terrible about yourself), and they are ganging up on you to push you down. It might feel like me saying that is a bit extreme (believe me, I've described my own relationships and friends, then listened to what i actually just said and realized how terrible or strange we sound for each other, when that's not really the case at all), but I want to to really think about it. It can be tough separating yourself from people you care about, even if they're mean or unfair. Especially true if you've known each other for a long time, and (feel like) you have nowhere else to turn to if you leave them. But I promise, that is literally the main reason people stay in bad situations that they easily could have left -- that is practically the definition of a toxic or abusive relationship. They're not actually supporting you, and it's okay to be upset or conflicted about that. That's honestly a normal reaction from most people. It's a hard choice to make, but distancing yourself almost always leaves you open to feeling happier, even if it takes a while to find a new, healthier crowd.

Of course, if that's too extreme or you want leaving them to be your last resort, please at least try to seriously express to them that it bothers you when they undermine your work, and explain which specific things they do that truly hurt you. It might just be a misunderstanding, and they actually didn't realise it bothered you that much. I kinda hope that's the case, but if it comes down to it, you'll have to be the judge of that.

And just remember -- if you're being unappreciated and picked on by anyone, that's already reason enough to stop interacting with them. They don't deserve your company and you don't owe them absolutely anything at all, especially when you bring up your concerns and they brush you off for "being a snowflake" or try to gaslight you into thinking you're "just being defensive." Don't listen to that nonsense, Peri. You're genuinely an amazing person, and you have every right to defend yourself and enjoy your life! <3<3<3

That is completely and utterly dreadful and I'm so, so sorry they're behaving like that. I think you're a really nice, encouraging, supportive person yourself, and you deserve to have friends who are the same way.

Whatever those people say, it's wonderful that you have the gift of writing well, whether they like it or not. Maybe you could actually use that gift to write a story or a poem about it? It often helps to channel your feelings into something creative. As for actually trying to get your friends to stop being like that... well, what the admin suggested sounds like a good way to go. Or you could suggest to your friends that they talk to the teacher about how they feel, instead of taking it out on you, or you could have one more try at making them listen to you, and if they still don't listen, just stop being friends with them. I know that's a really hard step to take, but if you don't, you might go on feeling really unhappy because of their behavior, and they would go on thinking that it's okay to make fun of you. I myself have had people stop being friends with me because I'm "different," which is very hard, but once you get used to it, you come to see that it's better to be alone than in bad company.

*sends hugs and positivitea* Whatever you decide, I really hope it works out, and that you can find some really nice, caring people who won't make you feel bad.

ah, Peri...

that's terrible:( friendships are really hard.  I know what you mean about the good writer thing, and how nice it is to stand out.  i am notoriously bad at social situations so i don't really have any good advice or consolation or you.  i wish i could do more to help, but you are such an amazing person and i hope things turn out better for you.

Peri, I'm so sorry! Those people really don't seem like good friends. You definitely are a genuinely talented author, and I know that rush of pride when someone honestly tells you that your work is good, and you shouldn't be denied that just because your friends are jealous of you. Good friends should celebrate your accomplishments, not envy them and take it out on you.

I've been trying to make some new friends lately (and not entirely succeeding), but if you want some tips from someone who's very introverted and probably shouldn't be giving this advice...is there anyone at your school that you think is nice or interesting and would like to get to know better? You could try sitting next to them in classes (if you're allowed to move seats) or at lunch, or find something casual to get into a conversation about. If they're nice and can identify other nice people, they'll want to talk to you more and maybe you'll be able to leave your current friend group without being alone :) 

I know it's really scary, but it could be easier to make friends if you leave your current friend group first. If other people know you have friends, they might not think you want new friends, but if you stop hanging out with the people who make you feel terrible, nicer people might find you. It happens!

I don't know if any of that is helpful at all, but if you need someone to rant to (or just to talk about anything to) I am here :) We could make a chat thread if you want! I've always thought you were really kind (you always go to great lengths to make everyone on the CB feel welcome & liked) & we have similar music tastes :). I know that online friends aren't the same, though, and I understand if you don't feel like it. I hope that you're able to find real friends soon. 

Reuby, that's great! Congrats on having a girlfriend! It's great that you feel "right" about how you're identifying. That's awesome.

I know how it feels to be scared of your decisions or what your parents will say and think about you. But trust yourself. It's hard, but it's worth it.

And my opinion of you isn't going to change. I still think you're awesome, and tbh my admiration of you has only increased after seeing this. So keep being you and good luck with your parents and your girlfriend! :)

Of course, Reuby! And congrats! I'm glad you had enough courage to bring it up to us :)

No one would ever think of you differently! The CB is a welcome and open space and like Jaybells said I'm glad you posted this :) also I'm Omni too so it's nice to see others on the CB that identify the same <3 I hope you always feel comfortable on here and I'm very sorry that your parents don't understand. You're never to young to know who you are. 

Ok! Thanks Admins. 

Although, if both the comments are fine, could you only post the last one? 

OK, I'll let the others know.

Admin